The house was still as she crept through the rooms barefooted, holding her shoes close to her chest. The clock on the wall read 2:45 AM. He had asked her to meet him at 7 o'clock. How would she explain? It was a mistake. But it felt so good and she could not promise not to do it again. Would he ask her, or would he believe the lie she fed him?
She reached their bedroom door. It opened at her gentle push, and the hinges creaked as it swung open. The hallway light spilled on to the floor. Was he asleep? Would he hear her crawl in beside him? Would she forget the way she felt in the arms of another man?
'Where did he touch you and how did it feel?'
Ginny froze. Their room was smothered in darkness, but from the sliver of light from the open door, she could see him. He was sitting on the edge of their bed with his head in his hands, not looking at her. Guilt washed over her in such strong waves that she almost felt nauseous. She clung to the doorframe to keep upright.
'You don't need to sneak in the door.' Remus told her, raising his eyes to meet hers. She saw how red they were, full of pain and betrayal. 'I've been waiting for you. I needed you so badly tonight. I needed proof that you would never go back. You told me it was over, and I believed you. I must have been blind.' He lapsed into silence for a moment. Ginny realized he was trying to keep his temper under control.
He remained seated, his hands in his lap and his head bowed. His shoulders had slumped, giving him a worn and tired appearance. She let her shoes fall from her grip and land on the floor. The true repercussions of her actions were hitting her. In a voice roughened with hurt, he asked her cruelly: 'Why did you let it begin, Ginny?'
'Was it worth it?' He asked with a short, bitter laugh. 'What did he whisper and when did you cry?' He looked up again and had tears on his cheeks. 'Where do you think it will end?'
'I -' She tried to speak. Even if he had let her get the word out, she did not think that she had anything that would undo the hurt she had caused.
'No, there's no need to talk.' He whispered. 'You love me. It is there in your eyes. Proof staring me in the face.' Remus laughed bitterly. 'Why did you do it? We have so much. Well, whatever you got and whoever it was, I guess you couldn't get it from me.'
She moved over to the bed where he was sitting. It was difficult with her tears blurring what little vision the light from hall gave her, but she managed to kneel in front of him. His entire body was trembling with emotion. Ginny tentatively rested a hand on his knee and felt some degree of relief when he did not flinch away from her. In response, he unclenched one of his hands and placed it on her head.
'I can't stand looking at you dressed up like that.' He told her. 'You dressed up for him. Take off your dress. There are no lies on your body.'
Ginny rose to her feet unsteadily. With shaking fingers, she unzipped her dress and let the garment fall. Remus remained unmoved by it, and motioned for her to continue undressing. Naked, vulnerable and close to breaking out in sobs, she stood in front of him and closed her eyes. 'Come to bed. I don't want any answers tonight.'
She slowly made her way to their bed, stumbling over her own feet in the process. Once under the covers, she felt his arms wrap around her. Ginny could not decide whether it was a protective, or dominant gesture. Hot tears constricted her throat and she pressed her fists to her mouth to choke her weeping. She loved him so much, but still did not know whether she could stop her affair. They were equal halves of her life.
Remus took her hands from her mouth and held them while he kissed her. His kisses her painfully soft in comparison to his accusations earlier. 'Did he ever get rough?' He asked against her lips. His hands let go of her own and explored her body, looking for - and finding - the bruises. 'Did you ever get tender?' His fingers probed her side where she was black and blue. 'Do you expect them to heal?'
He was doing it on purpose. Yes, she wanted to tell him. Yes, he liked it rough; he couldn't help it if I am delicate. Yes, he bruised me. Yes, I will go back to him the next night. I can't stay away. Instead she whimpered against his hands and he relented, easing back into feather kisses on her sore lips. 'What did he look like? Did he remind you of me? Were you willing to beg, or to kneel?'
Ginny let her tears run down her cheeks, making her lips salty. 'Did he keep his eyes open? Did you bother to look? Or was he only a kid, after all?' Her breath caught in the back of her throat. He knew who it was. His fingers were at her chin, holding it in place so she would meet his eyes. They were tight and a little uncomfortable. 'Where did Harry touch you and how did it feel?'
Very slowly, very quietly, he asked her: 'Who made the very first move?'
Author's Note: Thank you Colette, Jennifer, Luke, Amanda and Irene. Please review and tell me what you think. Thank you.