(Buenas dias. Just a day in the life of Hermione, dealing with Harry and dealing with the increasingly annoying students at Hogwarts. No ship or pairing in this fic. Enjoy.)
The Sake of Laughing
There are subtle hints nowadays of Voldemort's return and the fact that half of the school thinks that Harry's a crazy lunatic. There are, of course, not-so-subtle hints of it, but there are many more than what most people would think.
The obvious ones, would be the whispers, during and between classes, the pointed looks directed at Harry. The cracks made behind his back. You know, the usual crap. Yes, crap. I'm getting as fed up with it as Ron is. He's not the only one you need to hold back these days when Malfoy opens his mouth.
But the subtle hints, those you have to look for, but they add to the atmosphere. Subtle hints. The fact that the obituary page was moved to the front of the Daily Prophet. The fact that more and more Gryffindors are sliding down the bench, away from Harry, at mealtimes. Honestly, you wouldn't notice it, unless you missed about 5 meals. It progresses, about a half-a-foot a day. I missed a few meals, had to study bunches, and was amazed to see a 3 foot difference between were they were before, and now. The fact that the Gryffindor cheering section at Quidditch games against Slytherin, has dwindled down to only Gryffindor.
Harry sees them. All of the hints. He notices. Ron noticed before us all. He's more observant than what we give him credit for. But we all know that the other two see it. Harry pretends not to care. Ron pretends not to notice. I pretend that Harry and Ron don't notice. It's a pretty good system.
But we know it hurts him. We know it matters. We know it, yet we can't do anything about it. What, would you like me to just stand up in the middle of lunch and shout to the world, "stop whispering! Stop being prats! Stop moving away!" Oh yes. That would work. Harry would surely appreciate that.
The pretending seemed to be a very good system up until Harry heard a Ravenclaw prefect tell a first year to stay away from him, because otherwise, he would die. That was the final straw. He burst.
"That's it. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of every single person assuming that they know how I freaking feel. I'm sick of people staring and whispering about me. I'm sick of people assuming that I'm just a freaking, lying, paranoid, attention-seeking idiot. I sick of it. None of you know. None of you can even imagine what it's like being me. I'm hiding secrets I don't even want to know. It kills me every time I look at my friends because I know I'm putting them in danger every time I'm with them. Every time I close my eyes I see Cedric on the ground, I feel the Cruciartus curse piercing my body again, I see Voldemort killing my parents over, and over and over again. No, I don't want your pity. I don't need it and I definitely don't appreciate it. I just want to let you to know that I want you to leave me alone. I want you to stop talking about me, stop pointing at me and stop…just stop. Right now, my life is a living hell and your stupid comments and little whispered teasing aren't making it any better. So, if you don't believe me about Voldemort, that's great for you. Stay in your little bubble of a life and don't face the real problems out there. Just don't include me in it. You believe me, thank you. I appreciate that. It's those few that get me through the day. Life hasn't been fair to me, but I'm not complaining. Just stating the obvious. Leave me out of your small, insignificant debates, comments and life. Cause I just don't care anymore. After 12 years of being treated like dirt at home and then coming here being treated like scum by those of you who believe I'm insane, I'm fed up. Just freaking leave me alone."
Yes. I was startled too. But I think it helped him. Getting it all out, I mean. Besides that, I think he just scared the hell out of the first years.
But I think it helped. So, instead of commenting, Ron and I sat down on either side of him and started to have breakfast. He followed suit, still breathing heavily, obviously not done ranting. The silence was overbearing. Luckily, Ron broke it.
"The sausage is good today." Ron muttered. And for some reason, some strange reason, that made us all burst out laughing.
It felt nice to laugh. Very nice. It felt nice that we weren't just laughing because of someone else, acting happy, faking cheerful. For once, it was nice to laugh for the sake of laughing.