Title: Dwelling in the Past
Author: kawaii-kirei "KK"
Pairing: slight TysonKai
Disclaimer: I don't own BeyBlade and never will.
Dwelling in the Past
Why does everyone wonder what'll the future bring? Why does everyone wonder what'll happen if they do that, if they do this? Why does everyone wonder when they'll die? Why does everyone wonder…?
Isn't living life enough to know? They say that you shouldn't dwell on the past, but the truth is, you shouldn't look forward to the future either. Just live life to the fullest and only care about the present. Isn't life enough? Time doesn't matter at all.
Forget about the past. Don't worry about the future, because what will come, comes. What happened, happened. That's what you really need to know. It's no use dwelling on thoughts about what'll happen, what could happen, what happened or what should happen. Sure, there are things that we all regret, but we learn because we make mistakes. And we make mistakes because we're alive.
They say I'm perfect. I admit that that is like me. But you know what else? I'm not really perfect. I just have perfect imperfection. I used to dwell on the past once. I dwelled in it too much, I guess, that I almost stepped on the line of insanity. But look, I'm still here, and still kickin' normally.
But like what you see, I'm not the same anymore. When I was just a child, so full of joy and innocence, I used to laugh and play like most children would. But then something happened, and that's when I started to regret. And just in case I dwell again, I became apathetic. So apathetic that my goal in life is to be strong so that would affect me anymore.
I didn't actually expect that I would become that strong, so strong that my memories were placed at the very back of my brain. I'd only think about now, and I don't even mind the future. Heck, I even forget the moments of yesterday. So apathetic that I became too strong, and I didn't even realize it.
But when the thick wall between time and me crashed, the memories drowned me like a tidal wave would a ship in a storm. The memories I've kept for so long washed over me that I was almost at the brink of insanity. Again. This time I became more apathetic. Became more strong, having the strength I didn't even know existed.
But when I finally realized it, when the memories came back, I didn't became apathetic nor did I become strong. I became blind.
And in that moment, I was calling for help. My cries reached the ears of nothing but oblivion. Then it broke. Yes, it broke. I got insane, and I was still blind. I don't know why, but someone must've heard my plea that they reached out a hand for me to hold, and gave me back my vision. He gave me back my sanity and never freed my hand until he was sure I was back.
He understood me. He didn't mind when I clutched his hand tightly, crying in front of him. He didn't laugh, nor did he tell anyone like he was supposed to. He just held me. Tyson just held me.
He made the memories vanish, and the nightmares disappear. He was always with me, even when I push him away. He understood me, and I understood him.
Right now, I try not to remember the past too much. I look forward to the future. But remember what I said? I hear people say that you shouldn't dwell on the past too much. But they just don't know how hard it is to move on.
"Kai, you're not perfect. You can cry all you want. I'll be here."
"Don't let go."