By: Ami

Beta Reader: kitsune-oni

-- May I? --

A Goku's Birthday Fic by Am1-13th

I'm wondering if it's a GokuxSanzou or SanzouxGoku. Tell me? XD

By the way, the third chapter of Flying Love-Letter is ready. XP But the evil me told me to upload this fic first. So I'll upload next week.

DISCLAIMER: Who owns what, who borrows what, you know it already.

Specially Dedicated to:

Kitsu-nee-chan. You know, days after days, she sounds cuter and cuter. ^w^

The queen of miracles, miracle*me for guessing it right. [After 3 times trying] XP

Here we go…

It had been quite a while.

And I didn't like the stare he was giving me.

I had been taking some time to decide whether I should snarl at him and make him stop, or pretend not to realize he was staring at me.

Some of you might think the first choice suited me better. Yeah… maybe I should have done it. It was the most decent thing I could do in this kind of situation. But could you believe it? My strength of will grew thinner and thinner as I melted under his intense gaze.

No.

I did NOT melt.

I was just…

…Infatuated (?)

His golden eyes sparkled beautifully as I returned his look, and almost faintly, his lips formed a smile. And some people, other than ME, Genjo Sanzou, chief of all bastards… might have thought that actually…

It was sweet…

……………………………………

………………Damn.

Fine.

He won.

I'd just ignore him and let him be.

He'd soon tire himself out.

Ch.

I'd better concentrate on my paperwork now.

…………………………

…………………………………………

………………………………………………………

……………………………………………………………………

……………………………………………………………………………………….

…………………………………………Or……… should I?

"Oi, saru!" I snapped. "What the hell do you want from me?! Just spit it out!"

He widened his eyes, titling his head to one side, slightly flushed. Darn. He was so cute when he makes that face.

I'm cursing you, Son Goku. I'm cursing you for growing in to an attractive young boy. I'm cursing you for being so cutely innocent. I'm cursing you for being a sweet total idiot. I'm cursing you for being so YOU.

…Damn.

I was losing my mind.

I'd better get over with this soon, and get some sleep.

"What are you looking at?!" I snarled in response to his silence. "What do you want?!"

He looked both hesitant and excited. And he took another 5 seconds to decide that he must speak up the 5 words that would make me change my mind about his innocence.

"…May I kiss you now?"

And my world turned upside-down.

I could feel the blood rushing up to my face, replacing my usual pale color with a thick shade of redness.

And as usual… my hand goes faster than my mouth does.

*WHACK* *WHACK* *WHACK* *WHACK* *WHACK*

"Ouch! What was that for?!" He clutched his head with a pained look.

"Ask yourself." I folded my paper-fan, with a vein still on my forehead.

"Mou~ you can just say it, Sanzou." He sighed before getting on his heels and exiting my office.

And I took a deep, deep breath.

Sure… letting him be such close friends with Gojyo was a BAD idea…

***

THE NEXT DAY…

"Morning."

I snorted, ignoring him, reading my newspaper quietly. Yesterday's incident was almost forgotten. Maybe at the time, he had been out of his mind. Sure… most teenagers are like that. They change their minds quickly. And I was sure that it also happened to the saru. He was just getting out of his mind. Kissing me? Hmph. Not in the next 1000 years. I did NOT have any interest in KISSING ANYONE.

He sat on the seat across to me, eating his breakfast, unusually, calmly. Maybe Hakkai had taught him some manners. Sure. That was a good thing.

Feeling slightly relieved, I lifted my eyes away from him, studying news after news in my newspaper.

"Ne, Sanzou…" He started again, much to my annoyance.

"What?" I glared at him through my spectacles.

"May I kiss you today?"

And my face faulted.

What—on—EARTH?!

Your time has come, super-almighty-magic-paper-fan!

*WHACK* *WHACK* *WHACK* *WHACK* *WHACK*

"Ittetetetete~" He moaned. "Does it mean no?"

Dear Lord… PLEASE remind me why the HELL I took this kid in the first place?!

So my prediction that the kid would be the main cause of my death was absolutely RIGHT!

"ASK *WHACK* YOUR- *WHACK* SELF *WHACK* IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!" # # # # #

"Iiiiiittaaaaaai~ Sanzou kechi!" The boy pouted as he marched out of the room.

And that's when I realized that the newspaper in my hand had been crumpled to pieces.

…Fuck. I hadn't even finished reading the front page…

***

THE NEXT DAY…

"Stop there."

"Huh?" He stopped in his tracks, looking at me in confusion.

"You are not allowed to eat in my office again." I lit up my cigarette. "Go and eat in the kitchen. I have told the bloody monks about it."

"Why?" He frowned.

"Because you talk about stupid things. I'm punishing you." I replied coldly, as usual.

"But—which part of it sounds stupid to you?! I just asking if I may—"

"STOP IT!" I could feel my face redden at the thought. "All of it sounds stupid to me so STOP saying it."

He stayed silent, his face still angry. "…Fine then." He shrugged. "So… may I kiss you today?"

And my cigarette fell on to the floor.

"BAKAZARU!!!!!!!!" # # # # #

*WHACK* *WHACK* *WHACK* *WHACK* *WHACK* *WHACK* *WHACK* *WHACK* *WHACK*

***

NIGHT…

I was still here, clutching my head with my arms, trying to calm down my rushing heartbeat, mumbling inaudible curses in order to keep my head sane, to remind myself about ME.

I AM GENJO SANZOU!

I HAVE A STEEL HEART!

I AM A COLD BASTARD!

I AM NOT SUPPOSED TO FALL IN LOVE WITH ANYBODY!

ESPECIALLY NOT WITH THE SARU!

I DON'T KISS PEOPLE!

I DON'T KISS ANYTHING!

NOT EVEN MY PILLOW AT NIGHT!

Lemme make it clear for you…

*I* *WON'T* *KISS* *THE* *SARU*!!!!!

All 39 [or 93 XP] fans throw various kitchen furniture

"Sanzou? You there?"

The voice from outside my door reminded me how problem-ful I was.

"What do you want?!" I snapped.

"Ne, let me in."

"No!"

"Why?"

"Ask yourself!"

"But I just asked you if I—"

"NO! NO! NO! NO! ABSOLUTELY NO!"

I thought I'd lose my mind.

Yes, I was losing my mind.

And it was all the bakazaru's FAULT!

"…"

He opened the door.

OK! Fine then! Blame me for being a definite idiot and NOT locking the door!

"Ne, Sanzou… you're acting weird…" He just stood there, grinning mischievously.

Seeing him standing by the door, I realize that he has grown so much in the past years. When I took him in 6 years ago, he was still so small, so fragile, and so innocent. His eyes could never lie. They were always so wide, teary, so trusting and sometimes 'a little bit' mischievous. And now, he was almost as tall as the door. His eyes were still wide, golden, and trusting. But something had changed. I couldn't really spell it out… but something had changed in his eyes. He didn't look at me the way he did before. I can see the whirl of new emotions inside the golden pool. And I know things won't be the same again.

"What do you want?" I asked through clenched teeth.

"I just want to ask you something," he replied calmly.

And I got goose bumps.

"So… because you didn't allow me to kiss you today… may I kiss you tomorrow?"

I swear that I can hear one of the nerves in my brain exploding.

OK… fine… calm down… inhale… exhale… act like an ADULT. Like your usual composed-self… act like GENJO SANZOU-SAMA AND STOP BEING AN OOC BASTARD!!

I settled down on my chair; inhaling the fresh air I really needed before putting a hand to cover my tired face.

"OK, Goku… now tell me…" I sighed. "What do you mean by asking that?"

"Huh?" He blinked. "Well of course… because I want to kiss you."

Oh yes! Another nerve is exploding in my poor poor brain!

"…Why do you want to kiss me?" I demanded, staring right in to the deep golden pool, to find a proof that he was definitely just joking, or he didn't know what he was talking about; or Gojyo has taught him to ask me that stupid impossible question [Gojyo sneezes]. Oh yes. My Goku was a sweet innocent young boy. He did ask for food but he did NOT ask for a kiss.

He curved his lips down, a slight flush on his cheeks. Darn darn darn daaaaaarn~ why did he have to look so cute at a time like this?!

"Umm… I don't know…" He brought a hand to cover his mouth. "I just—sort of—want it."

I shook my head. "See? You don't even know what you have been talking about."

He bowed his head down in shame, blushing cutely. "...Sorry."

I sigh. "It's OK. But remember not to repeat that stupid question again. Now go back to sleep."

He nodded before exiting the room with a smile.

***

And now, here I am… sitting here… suddenly feeling desperate.

TIC TOC TIC TOC TIC TOC…

Listening to the sound of the clock…

TIC TOC TIC TOC TIC TOC…

Recalling things after things…

TIC TOC TIC TOC TIC TOC…

Reflecting on myself, facing my own feelings…

TIC TOC TIC TOC TIC TOC…

Feeling a loud thud in my heart, that has declared itself as LOVE.

TIC TOC TIC TOC TIC TOC…

…What do you think I should do now?

TIC TOC TIC TOC TIC TOC…

But…

TIC TOC TIC TOC TIC TOC…

Now… now…

TIC TOC TIC TOC TIC TOC…

Tonight is definitely NOT the time for pride…

TIC TOC TIC TOC TIC TOC…

Let it be back tomorrow morning.

TIC TOC TIC TOC TIC TOC…

And now…

***

*knock* *knock*

"Huh?" Goku stirred awake, looking at the door with sleepy eyes. "Who is it?"

"It's me."

Goku slowly sat up in his bed, rubbing his eyes tiredly. "Sanzou? What are you doing there in the middle of the night?"

"…I just want to ask something."

Goku got on his feet, approaching the door slowly. "What is it?"

And he opened the door.

"…May I stay in your room tonight?"

~OWARI~