I no own. Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Fox, FX, WB etc, etc own the rights. I did not make any of these characters. I am not making any money off of this.

Title: Vacation

Author: escargoat

Rating: high pg-13

Season 5

A/N: This story was written in response to a ficathon challenge from allthejellies from member Kaymickbee.  Requirements as follows:

Buffy and Giles in a swimming pool

2.  Anya commenting on Giles looking sexy in a bathing suit

3.  Both Xander and Buffy getting jealous over provision #2


Giles looked askance at the tickets that Anya was waving in his face. His left eyebrow was quirked up, and he looked for all the world like he had never even heard the word 'vacation' before.

"Anya," Giles began, "What on earth possessed you to do this?"

Anya rolled her eyes, "Xander took me out for a romantic dinner so we could make slow passionate love when we got back, and they had this little drawing for business cards, and I didn't have a business card, so I put yours in and you won a getaway for four people."

"Yes, well I'm quite busy right now, so if you don't mind…"

"But you have to come. If you don't come then Xander and I can't go, and then we won't be able to pretend we're having an illicit affair at a hotel."

Giles blushed for a minute before he could talk. "Be that as it may, I am much too busy with the shop to go, and Buffy needs to do training."

"So? I'm sure Willow and Tara would be glad to watch the shop as they spend so much time mooching off of our air conditioning anyway, and why don't you take Buffy with us? You can train away from home can't you?"

Giles sighed. "Buffy is the Slayer. She is needed in Sunnydale."

"How much can happened in five days? Can't Riley take care of it? He's got to be useful for something other than having sex with Buffy," Anya replied in her typical logic.

"Riley isn't the Slayer," Giles responded wearily.

"Well, what about Spike? He's helpful."

"Spike is the evil undead!" Giles half-shouted before realizing that he was in the middle of using a Xanderism.

"But surprisingly not immune to the allure of money. I am sure he'd be thrilled to get paid for beating up fellow evil doers," Anya replied.

Giles shook his head, "Why should I spend money to go on a vacation that I don't want to go on?"

"Because the hotel is a five star resort, They have room service and an Olympic sized swimming pool and those insanely expensive mini bars and drinks that you wouldn't drink anywhere else and, oh, free condoms," Anya supplied cheerfully.

Giles frowned at her. "Yes, I am going to take my Slayer to a hotel because they have free condoms. Are you sure that this is a five star hotel? That service sounds more like it belongs to one of those motels that charge by the hour and have vibrating beds."

"Well, you never know. Buffy might like going," Anya persisted in arguing.

"Buffy might like to go where?" Buffy asked as she breezed through the doors of the Magic Box.

"Giles won a drawing for four to go to the exclusive Mango Beach Resort, but he won't go because they give away free condoms," Anya stated with her best pouting face on.

"Giles?" Buffy asked confused.

Giles blushed and looked down at his feet. "That isn't entirely correct. Anya entered me in this drawing without out my consent. I merely thought that if this resort was such a reputable business they would not need to engage in giving away free c… those sorts of things."

Buffy grinned. "It's okay Giles. I'm a big girl now, I know what they are. But why were you discussing me?"

"Anya suggested that I take you with me so I could train you while she and Xander took advantage of the rest of the accommodations."

Buffy's eyes lit up, "You were going to take me to the Mango Beach Resort? That is the coolest place. It was in one of those fine living magazines a couple of months ago when it opened. Giles, you have to take me."

"Now I don't have to take anyone anywhere. You should focus on your duty, and I need to run the shop. Besides, what would Riley say if you ran off with me to such a place?"

"But Giles, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity."

Giles with practiced ease let Buffy's protestations go in one ear and out the other.

Buffy pouted when she didn't see a reaction. She let her eyes get big and wide and stared up into Giles' green ones.

"Please? I'll be the bestest Slayer ever."

Giles smiled despite himself. "You already are the best, Buffy. No one could be more proud of you than I. However, I cannot allow either of us to deny our personal duties."

"But, she obviously wants to go, and I'm sure that Riley would agree that she deserves a little break. Wouldn't he Buffy?" Anya interjected.

Buffy nodded enthusiastically, "Of course, and Riley knows you're my watcher. It isn't like I'm running off to have an affair with a sexy, older, foreign guy. Not, of course, that you aren't, you know older or foreign 'cause, you know, obviously you're British, and I suppose you are a bit on the pleasant side for being Giles and Watchery and stuff."

Giles looked at Buffy for a second with a puzzled look. Then took a breath and said, "Was that supposed to induce me into agreeing to this scheme?"

Buffy moaned. "But they have a huge swimming pool and aren't there some water fighting techniques you could show me?"

Giles almost said no. Really, he did, but for the span of five seconds, his male brain supplied him with thoughts of Buffy in her bathing suit, wet and having the privilege of being able to touch her.

"I suppose that we could use a bit of a break," Giles conceded seconds before his brain went back to its normal logical state.

Buffy's squeal of excitement went trilling through the air seconds before she bolted out the door to go shopping for her trip.

Giles looked over at a suspiciously stationary Anya. "I suppose that you need to go shopping now that I've agreed?"

Anya shook her head. "I already went shopping yesterday."

Giles frowned. "You didn't know that I would agree."

Anya laughed. "Of course you'd agree, silly. The moment you thought about Buffy in her bathing suit, your simple male brain would cease to function and you'd say 'yes.' Because that would be what Xander would do, and Xander is the epitome of Manly man-ness. Not, of course, that Xander would think of Buffy that way before me, but he may include her in the odd fantasy, particularly in the one with the threesome where he is a…"

"YES! Anya, that is quite enough. I..I think that I need to go do some ordering now. Would you please excuse me?" Giles said as he hurriedly walked away desperate to avoid Anya's eloquence about her sex life.


Buffy stared ruefully at her suitcase and the assorted amounts of clothing strewn about next to it. Dawn, on the other hand, stared ruefully at her sister because Buffy was making her help choose outfits.

"Isn't this something that Willow should be helping you with?" Dawn whined, "I mean, she is your friend and I think she is much better qualified to help you pick out what looks hot on you."

Buffy glared at Dawn. "I'm selecting outfits. Have you forgotten that I'm going with Giles? I'm not trying to look 'hot.' I just want to look stylish. I have a boyfriend."

Dawn snorted. "A boyfriend that whined like a puppy when he found out you were taking a vacation."

"Riley didn't whine; he just sort of was upset that I was taking off. But he understands now that I'm going with Giles that this isn't just a pleasure thing."

"Didn't sound like that to me. It sounded more like Riley thought you were traipsing off and leaving him behind."

"He did… Dawn, were you listening in on my private conversation with Riley?"

Dawn rolled her eyes. "Not all of it. If I wanted to be bored to death by constant kissy noises, I'd hang around Xander and Anya."

"I can't believe you listened in on a PRIVATE conversation!" Buffy shouted.

Dawn stuck her tongue out at her sister. "It isn't private when Spike can hear it all the way over at his crypt and you are in your house."

"I did not get that loud," Buffy retorted.

"Did so. I quote, 'Well, you aren't that hard to replace, Riley. All I need is a two by four for your body and that shaggy, old, brown jacket Giles has to stand for your hair.' To which he said…"

Buffy blushed. "I know what he said Dawn. You don't need to repeat it."

"Well, I do have to say that the part about the balloons was uncalled for on his part, even if the rest was really funny," Dawn supplied graciously.

"Thanks," Buffy deadpanned.

Dawn threw her hands up in the air. "What do you want? I'm your little sister. I'm not supposed to give you compliments. Especially when you are off to some swanky place, and I'm stuck home baking cookies with Mom."

"Out," Buffy ordered

Dawn happily replied and bounced out the door.

Buffy glared at her collection of swim suits. Angrily, she thought of how Riley had accused her of going off to flaunt herself in front of other guys. All she wanted was to get away from Sunnydale for a while, and he had to make it personal. Well, she was not about to let Riley be that way about her vacation. A vacation she had earned by being the bestest Slayer ever. She knew this because Giles had said so, and Giles wouldn't lie about that. In fact, Giles was the bestest watcher ever too, and he deserved a break. How dare Riley try to interfere with Giles' vacation?

Incensed all over again, Buffy's illogical thought processes continued until she had packed her sexiest outfits. For while she really could not actually cheat on Riley, as they had not broken up, she knew that she had to get back at him for his nasty comments. This was further accompanied with the thought that Giles deserved to be envied by every guy in that hotel. Because Giles was the bestest Watcher ever, and Giles deserved to look like he had some young attractive woman hanging on his every word.

Hence she would pseudo cheat on Riley with Giles without any actual cheating going on. At least, that was what she told the very tiny, incredibly small, infinitesimal part of her brain that supplied the thought that she would finally be able to concretely determine the size and solidity of Giles' biceps.


Joyce stood in the airport as she sent Buffy off. She had been surprisingly encouraging of the trip as she saw in it as something fairly "normal" that Buffy would be doing. The fact that Giles was "paying" for it (Buffy had conveniently forgotten to mention that Giles had won the tickets and that she had persuaded him to claim them) had simply added to Joyce's euphoria about her daughter doing a typically college like thing by going off with her friends for a vacation.

Dawn merely grumbled and made snide comments to Riley who had come like a good boyfriend should for the mere purpose of making Buffy feeling guilty about going when he was such a good guy.

Riley's strategy worked until Giles came into the waiting area. One look at Giles banished any guilty thoughts from Buffy's mind. She was going to go for Giles. Giles needed a vacation. Giles needed to relax. It did not, of course, have anything to do with Buffy's own selfish desires, especially not the ones about Giles and suntan lotions for his pale complexion. Because, those desires only existed in Buffy's little box in her mind where she put thoughts that she did not want to admit that she thought.

Like most people, her box was actually not that little and contained such things as thoughts about how much she really did like her little sister, admissions about how she really did wear some clothing just to be trendy not because she liked the styles, and a very large portion was devoted to any and all thoughts remotely pertaining to Giles and his sexuality. This left very little actually floating around in her brain about Giles, which could consequently explain how she sometimes forgot about his existence.

However, Buffy was not contemplating her little box. She was contemplating what little was not in her little box and that little un-little was telling her that Giles needed a vacation. So she kissed Riley goodbye and went to go board the plane.


When they finally arrived at the hotel, Buffy had all but forgotten about Riley. She was not sure if it was the prospect of a fun filled weekend, or the thought about Giles that had gotten shoved into her box when he bent over to pick up a piece of his luggage off of the floor.

Whatever the case, she was happy.

Giles, on the other hand, was a bit perturbed by two things. The first was that Buffy had seemed to be having intermittent bouts where her mind would wander off when he was talking to her. Her eyes were glazing over and tended to fixate somewhere on Giles' anatomy. Then she would return a bit later and not have heard a word he had said. It insulted his intelligence that she would think he did not notice that she was tuning him out.

The more pressing annoyance, however, was the fact that they were getting two rooms. Both with one king sized bed. One look at Anya had clearly said to not even try to attempt to suggest that the guys should take one room and the girls take another.

That meant sleeping in the same bed with Buffy as all attempts to persuade her otherwise hand ended in her commenting on how big of a bed it was and how small she was and how she would be like sleeping with nothing. Beds and contemplating Buffy's physique in the same thought were two things that Giles really rather not do. It did strange things to his blood stream that caused blushing, stammering and more unmentionable things.

After they had unpacked, Buffy immediately suggested they do something.

"Hey Giles, Xander and Anya are probably still, ummm, unpacking. You wanna go do something?" was her exact question.

"I suppose that we should as long as we are here," Giles replied.

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Don't try to sound too excited, Giles. I mean it isn't as if you're going to get tortured to death by friendly hotel workers."

"I simply am having trouble remembering why I agreed to go on this farce in the first place," Giles snipped.

Buffy did not respond, but simply bent over to rummage through the drawer that she had put her clothing in. Giles' little box (which coincidentally opened far more easily than Buffy's did, and did indeed have holes through which small thoughts leaked) provided him with an answer. Buffy was simply the most gorgeous creature he had ever laid eyes on. Well, technically, it said something much more vulgar and Ripper-ish, but Giles' educated and cultured mind re-edited it for younger viewers much like when foreign cartoons are dubbed over in English.

Buffy pulled out a small shrug to go over her shoulders. "You wanna go get a snack?"

"I suppose we might as well. I am a bit hungry."

Buffy smiled. "Great, why don't we go down to the hotel restaurant and get a bite?"

Hence, they found themselves crammed in a tiny, darkly lit, corner booth. As Giles picked at the tropical fruit platter they had ordered, Buffy's eyes darted around taking in everything that they could. In that moment, Giles knew why he had said yes. He could not remember a time when Buffy had looked so happy. It was worth all the boredom and embarrassment in the world to see that look in her eyes again.

The next morning, however, he was not quite sure that embarrassment covered the situation. In his tired state the night before, he had forgotten that he had a terrible tendency to snuggle. It was one of the reasons he never stayed around when he had had one night stands in his youth. The need to spoon and snuggle did not go well with his tough and streetwise image.

What he woke up to was the feeling of getting poked in his side by Buffy's elbow. Instantly, Giles was over at the other side of the bed. Buffy stared at him.

"You didn't have to jump away like I was a vampire. I just wanted to move you so I could get up," Buffy huffed, uncertain of why she was upset at how Giles had reacted.

Giles blushed to the roots of his hair. "I..I am very, very sorry, Buffy. P..perhaps we should, ah, reconsider the sleeping arrangements?"

"What for? You didn't try to get frisky, Giles. And it wasn't like you did something evil like steal the covers."

"Buffy, it was very inappropriate…"

"What, the fact that you wanted to snuggle? I think it's kind of cute. My stiff, British watcher wants to snuggle. You slept with a stuffed bear when you were a kid, didn't you?"

"It was not appropriate," Giles scolded her, "And Mrs. Gordon was a wild boar."

"Mrs. Gordon? You named your stuffed animal Mrs. Gordon?"

"I was going to name her Miss Gordon, but it would have been unsuitable for me to sleep with an unmarried female, and before you say anything, I was five. I think that I am allowed."

Buffy giggled for a minute before Giles finally chuckled a bit himself.

"So, we're okay with the whole watcher/slayer snuggliness?" Buffy asked.

Giles sighed. "I suppose that we are."

"Good, because this slayer wants to go try the pool out before all the other guests get down there."

Giles nodded his agreement. "I shall ask Xander and Anya if they wish to join us."

"Great," Buffy said as she disappeared into the shower.


Great, Giles reflected, was not a word that he would have chosen to describe his current situation. He really should never have packed the particular pair of swim trunks he had, but he had been the mood to not be as out of date as the Scoobies had often accused him of being. So instead of packing his normal swim trunks, he had dug out a pair that Olivia had given him. He had figured that it was better to be one year out of fashion instead of ten.

What he had not counted on was the fact that the swim trunks in question tended to highlight certain parts of his anatomy. Part that he did not exactly want highlighted. While not Speedos by any stretch of the imagination, they did tend to give special attention to more unmentionable parts of his anatomy.

With a martyred look on his face, Giles grabbed his robe and trod down to the pool.


Anya smiled as she leaned back in the lounge chair she had picked out by the pool. Xander was bringing over the suntan lotion, and she was anticipating a very innuendo laden conversation with him. Buffy was lounging on the chair beside her, waiting for Giles to come down from their room.

Xander had just knelt down beside Anya in order to apply the sun screen to her shapely legs when Giles was seen at the other end of the pool. He quickly dropped his robe and dove into the water, but he was not quite quick enough as Anya's eyes were trained well above and beyond that of a hawk.

"Wow," she muttered.

"Wow? Wow what? Wow where?" Xander asked glancing around.

Anya motioned vaguely towards Giles who had begun swimming a very slow lap in their direction. "Wow."

"Wow Giles? Why "wow" Giles? What did he do?" Xander asked perplexed but not truly wanting the answer.

Anya grinned lasciviously. "I had no idea that Giles hid that underneath his trousers."

"Hey, that's my watcher you're talking about there," Buffy butted in.

"So?" Anya replied unphased.

"So, you just can't talk about Giles like that, Anya. Giles is Giles, nice, happy, safe, not to be 'wowed' Giles," Xander rambled.

"And you shouldn't be 'wowing' other guys anyway. You should be looking at Xander and not my watcher," Buffy supported her friend.

"Yeah, that's right. You shouldn't be watching Buffy's watcher, who is also Giles," Xander took over again.

Anya looked at both of them in turn, "But he merited a serious 'wow' if not a 'hey hot stuff what are you doing tonight?'"

"But, but its Giles. You can't talk that way about our favorite ex-tweedy, ex-librarian, current magic shop owner. Its wrong, you're supposed to talk about me like that, not Giles-I'm-knocking-on-fifty," Xander whined.

"And besides, he's my watcher," Buffy added for emphasis.

"Well, I'm sorry I didn't see the 'Do not touch, property of Buffy' sign hanging off of his derriere which is, by the way, very nicely shaped, especially in those tight and snug fitting swim trunks. Did you see how they showed off his legs? And of course there was that pleasant…"

"ANYA!" Xander interrupted before his girlfriend could provide him with bad thoughts about Giles, "Why don't we go do something else?"

"But I'm having fun here. Except for the fact that Buffy is jealous about Giles," Anya replied.

"I am so not jealous, I'm just pointing out that you shouldn't talk about him like that. Besides, if anyone is jealous, it is Xander," Buffy retorted.

"Of course Xander is jealous, that is what makes it fun. Xander gets very aggressive in bed when he is jealous In fact that one time he got so jealous that we...."

Xander grabbed Anya's hand before she finished her sentence. "Anya, why don't we go try out the fruit bar?"

"I thought you didn't want to try out the fruit bar," Anya replied as she let Xander lead her away.

"I do now," Xander said as they moved quickly away.

"What made them leave?" Giles' voice startled Buffy as she had been watching Xander drag Anya away.

"Anya made Xander jealous and started talking about their sex life," Buffy said as she gazed down at Giles who had his arms crossed in front of himself on the side of the pool while he looked at Buffy.

"Ah, well then, perhaps we should do some of those water exercises?" Giles suggested.

Buffy frowned. "I was hoping that you had forgotten about those."

"You really should know me better than that Buffy. Now get in here or I'm going to come out and drag you in," Giles said as he motioned for her to get into the pool.

For a brief moment, Buffy thought about not going in just so she could see what had 'wowed' Anya so much, but then she managed to shove that thought into her very crammed little box and decided to get into the pool.

As Giles saw Buffy take her sarong off, he quickly began to rethink the idea of a training session. He had worked with Buffy so long, that he sometimes forgot about his slayer's fashion choices. Mainly, the fashion choices that involved very little fashion except for what nature provided. And unfortunately, nature tended to react to nature even when one nature was British and a bit older than the other nature.

Giles shook his head to clear it of Buffy like rambling seconds before Buffy jumped into the pool thereby causing a large wave of water to splash over his face.

Buffy turned to him and giggled. Giles growled in his best cranky watcher voice before quickly launching himself at his slayer. A brief water struggle ensued. In a few short seconds, Giles had Buffy pinned against the pool wall. It was then that he realized that they were mere inches apart and breathing heavily. The water was heating between them due to their combined body heat, and the swirling currents they had caused by their struggles had conspired with the heated water and the heavy breathing in an attempt to shut down Giles' higher brain functions.

Unfortunately for the conspiring circumstances, the lifeguard came along a mere second before Giles tried to kiss his errant slayer and berated the two of them for rough play in the pool area. This, of course, broke the mood and ended any further thought of actual training.

On the other hand, it left Buffy with a very good view of what had so 'wowed' Anya as Giles was the first to pull him out of the pool.

"Wow," Buffy muttered out loud.

"Pardon?" Giles asked as he turned around.

His movements, of course, gave Buffy the other view of Giles which was equally impressive and would have been more so had Buffy not forced herself to look above Giles' waistline at all times. Unable to look Giles in the eyes, Buffy had focused on his shoulder. This would normally have been a very safe spot to gaze, except for the fact that Giles had not shirt on and had very nice shoulders.

Buffy stared transfixed at the rivulets of water running off of Giles' shoulders down onto his chest. Her mind whirled around in insane attempts to shut down the synapses that were desperately trying to classify Giles as hot. Buffy's little box was at the point of explosion.

"Buffy…Buffy?" Giles asked as he waved his hand in front of Buffy's face.

"Huh? What? Oh, yeah. Sorry about that Giles, my mind was elsewhere," Buffy said as she snapped back to reality.

"Really? I couldn't tell," Giles commented drolly.

"It was nothing really, I was just thinking about shoulders... I mean shoulder pads and who invented them and stuff, because you know shoulder pads are really useful, unless you already have great shoulders and don't need them because your shoulders are all manly and full of muscular goodness."

Giles put his hand to Buffy's forehead. "Are you feeling alright?"

"Fine," Buffy croaked out in a higher than normal vocal tone.

"You don't look fine," Giles chided as he looked into her slightly glassy eyes. His fingers slid down underneath her jaw to check her lymph nodes and then slid down further to check her pulse.

Buffy jerked slightly when Giles' fingers pressed slightly against her neck. Her knees were starting to turn to jelly. Her breathing was becoming rapid, and if she did not get Giles to quit poking and prodding her soon, she was going to do something that would officially be cheating on Riley.

"Giles, I'm fine, really I just think I need to eat something," Buffy tried to say convincingly.

Giles removed his hands from her and looked closely at her. "Didn't you eat anything this morning?"

Buffy shook her head. "I didn't eat because you aren't supposed to eat before you go into a pool, but maybe my super slayer metabolism caught up with me?"

Giles face pulled down into one of his lesser displeased looks. "Buffy, you should be watching out for your health more. You need to keep up your strength."

"I'm sorry Giles; maybe we can go get a snack?" Buffy said glad that Giles seemed to have bought her lie.

Giles sighed and then nodded his assent. As he grabbed his robe off of the lounge chair he had left it on, Buffy breathed a sigh of relief. Now all she had to do is keep Giles out of their room until the maid emptied the trash of the wrappers from the two jumbo muffins she had eaten earlier.


Later that day, Buffy found herself once again abandoned to be alone with Giles as Anya and Xander had decided to go off and have some fun getting mud wraps and various other treatments at the built in spa. Well, technically it was Anya who wanted to try it out on Xander who decided to go along in order to keep Anya from spying on any other good looking guys.

Giles had shown a very slight, almost anemic, interest in going to see a band that the hotel had playing in their dinner lounge. As Buffy had finally re-secured her denial barriers, she insisted that she and Giles go as she had assured herself that she was only in this to give Giles a good vacation.

With a smile, Buffy finished her preparation for dinner. The simple dark green dress she wore had been specifically selected because it would not in any way remind Giles of death and vampires. Her black and red dresses seemed to have screamed death and blood, so she had selected the green one. There was absolutely nothing but goodness at heart in her decision. Except, of course, for the fact that it also happened to be the dress that flattered her figure the best but, hey, coincidences happen.


Giles forced himself to breath evenly. Throughout dinner and the subsequently boring entertainment, Buffy had been unusually attentive. She had seemed to pay attention whenever he spoke, and she had been very complimentary of the way he looked. She had also been almost possessive of him whenever a woman happened to glance in his direction flirtatiously or whenever a woman tried to start a conversation with him.

Normally, this would have delighted him to no end as having his Slayer hanging off of his arm and on his every word would have fulfilled the majority of his male ego driven dreams. The problem arose in the fact that he would have to sleep in the same bed with her when they retired for the night.

Giles make no mistake, had a very high threshold of resistance. He by nature was a very controlled individual. Even in his Ripper days, he was usually very controlled. One could not do the sort of magic that he had done without self discipline. It had been one of the reasons he had taken to drinking in his youth. He needed the out of control feeling it gave him. What he did not need at the moment was the out of control feeling that Buffy was giving him by running her hand up and down his bicep while they danced.

He was not quite sure what had possessed him to ask her to dance when the band had moved past the dinner music and onto the dance time. He was especially dumfounded as to why he had asked her to dance a slow, close dance. His only salvation had come in the fact that he had not been stupid enough to ask her to dance a tango with him as that surely would have eroded his entire self control.

Buffy, on the other hand, was in oblivious heaven thanks to her little box. She simply knew that on a very deep level, she was very much enjoying dancing with Giles. Her brain simply refused to think farther than that, and she was happy so long as it did not.

Yes, Buffy was quite content in her denial until she had to go use the restroom. This did not cause any great distress in and of itself as she had been using the ladies room for quite a long time. What bothered her was her return from said bathroom. For when Buffy came out searching for her Watcher, she found a bimbo trying to attach herself to Giles' arm.

Buffy's little box blew up like Sunnydale High School, not surprising as both had exploded due in part to the same man. Buffy's vision turned into a very small tunnel that focused only on the offending tramp who had dared trespass on Buffy's property. It was a very good thing for the woman, Buffy would have bet money that her name was Kandy, that Buffy had left her stake up in her room.

Being as she was stake-less, Buffy opted for a less violent means of eliminating the competition. Mainly half shoving the other woman out of the way and molding herself to Giles' side.

"I'm sorry, but the desperation check in is over at the bar. This is the 'I'm with someone' area," Buffy said as she made a shooing motion with the hand that was not glued to Giles.

The woman walked off in a huff. Giles looked down at a fuming Buffy.

"I think you have some explaining to do," they said simultaneously.

Giles growled in annoyance and drug Buffy off to their hotel room so that they could have a fight that would properly annoy all those staying in adjacent rooms.

"What do you think you were doing?" Giles asked as soon as he had closed the door to the room.

"What was I doing? What were you doing? Picking up stray cats? I don't suppose you stopped to think that you were sharing a room with me," Buffy replied testily.

"I don't believe that it is any of your business what I was doing, and you were very rude to that young lady," Giles rebutted.

"I was there with you, and I came back to find some cheap tramp plastered against your arm," Buffy huffed.

"I did not personally invite her, Buffy. And you don't need to overreact just because another woman finds me attractive."

"I can overreact whenever I want to," Buffy shouted back.

"You don't own me," Giles snarled back.

"I do so," Buffy retorted.

"I beg your pardon?" Giles said surprised at her statement.

"I. Own. You. Watcher. Slayer. Ownership." Buffy enlightened him seconds before she grabbed his lapels and hauled him in for a kiss.

The kiss was very, very long and involved a fair amount of tongue action before Giles managed to regain his mental state and pulled away from Buffy. This was due in a large part to the fact that there was an urgent pounding at their hotel room door.

When Giles answered the door, Xander stood outside. Anya had kicked him out of their room because he had accused her of having a thing for the bellboy.

Without a word, Buffy grabbed her things and headed over to share the other room with Anya.


Back in Sunnydale, Rupert Giles sat moping about. Buffy had said nary a word to him during the rest of their vacation and had instantly left him when they returned. He had the sinking feeling that he had just made one of the biggest mistakes of his life. In the back of his mind, he could see Riley's smirking face as he put his hands on Buffy. Giles' Buffy. His Slayer. Riley's hands. His Slayer.

Giles sighed in defeat. He could not kill Riley even though he really wanted to kill him, so this left him with sitting about feeling sorry for himself.

The only other option would be to commit suicide via Buffy by actually trying to talk to her.


Three days later, Giles had worked up enough courage to go and talk to Buffy. He stood nervously on the front porch of her house. He had inquired about her whereabouts from Willow and was assured that she was at home.

The door opened, and Giles found himself face to face with Riley.

"Hi, Mr. Giles," Riley said.

Giles absently twisted his hands in a fair approximation of wringing a neck. Unfortunately, he held something in his hands.

"Mr. Giles?" Riley asked in his pleasant and respectful voice.

"What, oh, yes, umm, give this to Buffy would you?" Giles asked as he shoved the item into Riley's hands and bolted off of the porch before he gave into the temptation to punch the boy's lights out.


Later that night, Giles found himself staring numbly at one of his favorite books. He was an idiot. He was a total and complete idiot. It was no wonder Buffy had spent so little time with him once she had gone to college. He simply had the word 'moron' tattooed across his forehead.

"You know, I thought only college students got that look on their face when they were cramming. That Mr. Brainy guy isn't getting his book gives me no confidence," Buffy whispered into Giles ear.

The resulting womanly screech that came out of his lips further mortified Giles.

"Buffy, I didn't hear you come in," Giles quickly recovered.

"Yeah, I kinda guessed that."

"What are you doing here?" Giles asked bluntly.

"Straight to the point, huh? I'm here to see you," Buffy replied.

"Well, yes, I see that, but why have you come to see me?"

"Well, it isn't everyday that a guy brings me stuffed pig so Mr. Gordo won't be lonely any more."

Giles coughed in embarrassment. "Well, Mrs. Gordon was quite lonely, and I did remember that you might have had company for her."

"Yeah, see that's the thing. Are you sure that Mr. Gordo isn't too young for Mrs. Gordon?"

"Are you certain that Mr. Gordo doesn't mind that Mrs. Gordon has a few scars and being a wild boar has more body hair than a normal pig?"

"Mr. Gordo decided he doesn't care for hairless piggys," Buffy said with a smirk.

Giles moved right next to Buffy. "Are you sure?"

Buffy grinned wickedly. "Why don't I tell you what I think about the view from behind you, and we'll go from there?"

Needless to say, Giles needed to ask no more questions after that.


The End.