Immortality

A Post FIN Story

by Paully Adams aka abbaspice1

padams1@xmsg.com

Xena, Gabrielle and any other characters featured in the actual TV series are copyrighted to MCA/Universal and Renaissance Pictures; just borrowing for this story.  The rest of the story is mine.

The lyrics of "Immortality" were written by Barry, Robin and Maurice Gibb and is copyrighted to Gibb Brothers Music.  The song (along with the TV show) is the inspiration for this story.

Spoilers:  FIN, Dirty Half-Dozen and Them Bones, Them Bones

*****

*Xena's Dead.* There was a time I would break down before getting those two words out.  And after saying them, my tears would begin anew.

But now, those two small words only speak a great truth.  A cold, hard fact of life I had to accept.  It took a long time for that to happen.  She chose the Greater Good.  She chose everlasting peace.  No more ghosts tormenting her soul, no more nightmares from the past haunting her sleep, no more flashbacks, no more killing.

No more of anything.

At first I was angry at her, angry at the situation, angry about feeling helpless.  And then I blamed myself:  I should have seen through her plan, I should have seen Akemi's manipulation; I should have moved faster to dump her ashes in the Waters of Strength.  Why did I let her stop me?  I guess part of me knew the truth.  I knew it when she let me take the lead in saving Higuchi.  I knew it when the Chakram returned to me.

When the loneliness seems most unbearable, those are the times I desperately wish I could break through the veil that separates the living form the dead.  The gods know I've touched death so many times, crossed back and forth through that veil, I should be granted that power.  Of course if I cross over, I may not return.

But then her words bring me back from that temptation.  *This is not your destiny.* Those words brought me back then, they keep me on this side of the veil now.  But if my destiny isn't to be by her side, what is it?

For now I'm the Warrior.  A long time ago I wondered if I am who I chose to be, or am I the person she made me into.  At this point it really doesn't matter.   It is who I am, it is all I know.

So now it's her faith that keeps me going.  I'll walk down the path that is before me, not for fame or wealth but because of the light I saw in her eyes and the love I felt coming from her heart.

It is that light and love that keeps me going.  The storms in my lie won't end.  And what the Fates have in store for me is anyone's guess.  But I do know one thing…

We don't say goodbye.

We didn't say it the day she died; we didn't say it when the sunset took away our last chance to bring her back.  We don't say it now.  This is just a break in an everlasting love.

END