Weasel Love

It was one of those glorious spring days that came so rarely in the rainy province. So Makimachi Misao was making the best of it by traveling during the day. Walking down the path, Misao began whistling a happy tune, skipping lightly so that her long braid swung in rhythm with the song.

Her mission for the Oniwabanshuu was a simple one but she was still determined to impress her Aoshi-sama. She reviewed the information in her head and determined the best way to achieve her goal. It should be simple enough. She was an elite ninja and should be able to sneak in and out of her target's house without him even realizing the scroll was missing.

Her ninja senses suddenly began to tingle and she quickly dove for the nearest tree, waiting for the source of danger to pass. Instead she found herself staring at something that didn't seem dangerous at all.

He was gorgeous, a long black coat billowing around his feet and a tall collar obscured most of his face. But she could see beautiful black eyes peering from beneath the black bangs of his hair. His face was calm and cold, just as Aoshi-sama's.

He stopped and looked over to where she was. Misao swallowed and came forward, realizing she had been spotted.

"Hi," she smiled, bouncing out of the tree. "You must be a great ninja to be able to detect me."

He stared at her. "Indeed."

"Ummm… I don't think I've ever seen an outfit like that. What group are you part of?"

"The Akatsuki."

"Really?" Misao tilted her head back and forth. "Never heard of them. What about your name?"

"Uchiha Itachi."

"Itachi?" Misao asked. In her mind, she suddenly saw Saitou Hajime and remembered when he called her 'itachi-musume', weasel girl. "We have the same name…" she said looking up at the stranger. "Itachi! We're both called weasels! You understand!"

Suddenly her mind was a wash with images. Her and Itachi getting married, having a honeymoon night, a squad of little weasel ninjas running around their feet, and finally just growing old together. It was destiny! Love at first sight! It was the beginning of a perfect new…

*SPLAT*

Kisame walked over and watched as Itachi struggled to get his sword loose from a crumpled body.

"What the hell is that?" he asked as Itachi put a foot forward and pushed the limp form off his katana.

"I don't know but… suddenly I was very scared…"

Kisame looked at him. "Scared? You? Of a little girl?"

Itachi sighed. "You wouldn't understand. You were not graced with the good looks of the Uchiha household. You were not forced to endure hordes of fan girls trying to 'understand' you. I thought killing my family might be enough to scare them off but…

Kisame scratched his head. "I never realized that you had such big problems."

"It's all right," Itachi replied, putting his sword back in his sheath. "It will be over soon. Soon my little brother will finally be strong enough."

"To kill you?" Kisame asked.

"No… so that the fan girls go to him instead," Itachi replied. "My plan is perfect."

"Right," Kisame said, eyeing his partner with a skeptical eye.

"Now, on to our mission," Itachi replied walking away, leaving the crumpled body of Misao behind.

Author's note : Before I get tons of complaints, I want it know that I am a fan girl. I have run across convention floors to get pictures of people dressed as my favorite characters. I am amused by my antics and therefore have no problem making fun of a group I am a part of.

Plus, if you really want to blame someone, go blame Shiru-chan. It's her fault I got this idea.