Title: AIEEEEE! My Credit Card is Gone!

Chapter Title: Duke and the Onion Ring

Genre: Humor

Pairings: Slight Honda/Duke, and Yuugi/Jin.

Chapter Summary: Read, and you'll see! ::smiles winningly::

Disclaimer: I do not own Yuugi-ou. ---

Author's Note: Look! I updated! Aren't you PROUD of me? And its all because of my "Ancient Secrets" reviewers!

Ok! On to the fic.


"AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" A great, rumbling scream shook the house.

"Seto! What's wrong?" asked Mokuba.

"My credit card is gone!" shouted Seto, in a rage. "Where is it?! Did you take it? You TOOK it, DIDN'T you!" Seto started to poke his brother, trying to jab the truth out of him. ((…no… pun intended? XD)

"Uhm… Seto… I'm your brother, remember?" Mokuba moved Seto's hand off of him and slowly backed away. "Why would I take your credit card? You buy me everything I want, anyways, I wouldn't have to steal your card," he explained.

"Now, big brother…" he glanced at Seto, who was staring at him with a slack jaw, finger still poking the air where Mokuba had been aimlessly. "…Why don't you take a nice, cold shower? It might help you get back to yourself." Seto nodded mindlessly.

"Wait… no credit card… equals no money… which equals… NO SUGAR! NO CANDY! NO SWEETS! AHHHH SETO FORGET THE SHOWER! GO BACK TO YOUR OFFICE AND START WORKING! WE'RE POOR! WE'RE BROKE! WE'RE-" Mokuba continued finalizing their financial status.

"…Mokuba," Seto said calmly, seeming to have returned to his old self.


"We didn't run our of money. I have 4,734,543,096,310,000,000,071,462.64 $ saved in my account. We're not broke," Seto stated.

"Oh. Ok then! Forget about your credit card, let's go to the market." Mokuba chattered happily.

"Come along Mokuba." Seto walked toward the garage, gravity defying trench coat billowing behind him. Mokuba followed, talking.

"…Can we get some ice cream while we're there? Pleeeeaaaaaaaseeee?"

Seto rigidly stepped into the car. "Yes. Now lets go before they close."

And so they drove off toward the nearest Ralphs (doesn't belong to me), credit card forgotten.

--- The End ---

Ok, you should know me better than that! Shame on you if you thought it was really over. Of course I'm not ending it like that. I promised you house searching and Seto-bashing, and by golly, you're going to get it! (XD by golly…)

Ok. Back to the REAL fic.

--- The Real Fic ---

"…Why don't you go take a nice, cold shower? It might help you get back to yourself," stated Mokuba.

Seto shook his head, and emerged from his trance-like state. "Mokuba."

"Yes Seto?"

"What are we going to do?" his brother asked, worriedly. "We need to find it. The only thing I do know is that it is not in this house," he declared.

Mokuba frowned, and scratched his nose. "Uhm. Why don't we ask people if they've seen it?" he said helpfully.

Seto patted his brother on his head, and started to pace. "No, Mokuba. We're going to do more than ask. The only thing we need to know is how to go about it."


Change of Scene


Joey, Tristan, and Duke were all at Burger World. "Hey, Tea! Another round of shakes here," Joey shouted, through a mouthful of his dinner-plate-sized-burger-with-everything (and I mean everything) on-it.

"Make it vanilla!" Tristan added, in the midst of the Championship last onion ring fight in Tokyo (think Shaman King) with the last contender in the famed tournament, Duke Devlin.

Cries of "It's mine!" and "No its not, you can shove that burger up your [censored]" were heard in the crowd. The fans went wild as the victor emerged, bloody and battered from the grueling fight, onion ring raised triumphantly above his head… that is, until the onion ring hit the light bulb socket above him, and electrocuted the poor boy with 5100 v, all the way from his dark girly hair and dice earring, to his red vest and his dark sneakers. (I'm just guessing what he wears on his feet.)

Behind him, a horned boy, wait that's not right! Behind him, an uhm… oddly haired boy shook his head sadly at the traumatizing site in front of him. As he stepped forward to lay morning star flowers on dice-boy's grave, he could almost hear the angelic voices of God's (or the Gods, whatever you prefer) uhm, minions as he gazed at the still features of the boy in front of him, until he realized it was the hysterical laughter of a certain blonde he happened to be acquainted with.

Tristan slowly turned his head to glare at Joey, and his jaw almost dropped as he realized the boy had been conversing animatedly with their waitress during this grave and solemn moment.

"Yup, and so that's when I tol' Yuug tat he had no chance wit' you, and to forget it. And would ya believe that he's goin out wit' Jin now? (Yu Yu Hakusho) Yeah, he's da weird orange haired guy wit da accent. You know, da one wit' da wind?" He giggled. "Don't tell Yami, he'd be furious."

Tea (their waitress) laughed. "Well, I'm over Yami now. I like you, Joey!" she said cheerfully.

Duke stared at them incredulously. (Yes, he's back from the dead. See, during the time it took for Joey and Tea to talk, Tristan sobbed and cried and had an idea. Yes, an idea! So this is what happened.

--- In the time it took for Tea and Joey to talk ---

Tristan: ::sob sob:: MY DUKE! ::sniffle sniffle:: I shall bury you where that little boy, the dog, and the step dad, and ::continues naming names:: … and the kid's mother were buried so long ago! Then you will come back to me and our love can be reunited! ::patriotic American music plays while Tristan takes a… well… patriotic stance::

::Duke and Honda fall on that part you're not supposed to fall in::


(Pretend that Tristan finished walking, and their at the Indian burial grounds now)

Panting heavily, Tristan put the last shovelful of dirt over Duke's corpse. "Yes! He will be ALIVE!! ALIVE!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I HAVE BURIED HIM IN THE PET SEMATARY AT LONG LAST!" And with that, he journeyed back to Burger World. (Duke was 10 minutes behind him after he was restored to the living world)


Back to Burger World


"You… LIKE me?" Joey blanched, aghast.

"Nope." Joey relaxed. "I LOVE YOU!" she said, glomping him. He promptly fainted.


Back to Kaiba Mansion


Seto Kaiba was still pacing. Back and forth, back and forth. Back. Forth. You get the point.

How would he go about finding his lovely discovery no hassle card? Finally, he snapped his fingers.

"Eureka! I've got it!" he yelled, waking up the sleeping Mokuba. (It does get tiring if the only thing you're doing is watching your brother pace.)

"Mmm. Ok big brother. What are we going to do?" Mokuba asked innocently.

Seto's eyes glinted evilly. "You'll see."



A/N: Sorry for not updating, sorry for the crap factor. I was in math, it was dull, this is dull.

People! Tell me what you want me to do to make it better. I'm taking suggestions. Also, tell me whose house you want Seto to do!

Also, do you want longer chapters with updates every 2 weeks, or shorter chapters every week?

Please tell me! Thanks.

BTW. I'm not even going to waste my Beta's time with this, so I haven't edited it. Sorry.