Make it All Make Sense: Chapter 7—

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Thanks!

Natalie!

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He stopped as the rain poured outside, and turned to face her, waiting to hear what she had to say.

She looked at the ground briefly, as though she were considering changing her mind. But she wasn't going to—she couldn't allow herself to do that, no matter what. There was no going back now. "Please, don't go.—stay." She questioned, as she dropped her eyes to the ground, she couldn't meet his gaze.

"Elizabeth.." he paused. He heard the desperation in her voice, but his mind was waging a war. Was this right? It couldn't be—not like this. "Elizabeth...I don't think that's a very good idea." He said, regretfully, looking at her downcast eyes.

She inhaled sharply. She should have known he'd say no. He didn't want to take advantage of her vulnerable state, and she respected him for that. But that's not what she wanted right now. She didn't want respectfulness, she wanted to be okay—she wanted healing.

So she braved a chance look into his eyes, and he saw, with much sorrow, that her eyes were brimming with the glisten of tears not yet fallen. She looked at him almost pleadingly, as she tried to keep the tears in her eyes. She couldn't cry now. She stared at him for a brief moment, before breathing a single word: "Please."

He wanted to stay with her, to help her through her pain. But, at the same time, he didn't. He didn't want to stay because something inside of him was telling him that it wasn't a good idea. He knew he couldn't make everything right—not tonight. He knew he should say no, leave and go home—leaving her alone. But that, he couldn't bear. He didn't want to leave her here, with the desperation imminent, alone.

But, he had to.

"Elizabeth..." he struggled to maintain his composure, his will "Elizabeth—I... I—I... Can't." he stated, as he turned, once again to walk away.

"Robert." She breathed his name. There was so much sorrow in her voice, such desperation "please."

He stopped, once again in his tracks. He couldn't do this to her. He couldn't walk away from her when she needed someone to help her. He couldn't do that to her because he loved her. He never wanted to see her in pain—seeing her after Mark's death was one of the hardest things he'd ever done. And now, here he stood, able to ease the pain for her, and he was on the brink of walking away. He knew the smart thing would be to walk away, it was, really, the only choice he could make. But, he couldn't make it. He couldn't.

And so, wordlessly, he turned around and stepped past her, back into her house. She stood, staring at the spot he'd walked away from, and shut her eyes momentarily, leaning on the door for support. He hadn't walked away. She felt a tear roll down her cheek, and she quickly brushed it away as she shut the door and turned to face him.

He stood there silently, watching her. And she stood there silently, watching him.

She sighed—a mixture of nervousness and relief—and leaned back on the door. She let her head rest against the door as she, again, closed her eyes.

"Thank you." She said softly, not looking at him still—frozen in place, back against the door—waiting for everything to be all right.

What could he say to that? It wasn't 'you're welcome', or 'it's my pleasure.' It wasn't really a 'no problem' kind of a situation.

He took a deep breath, and replied "Anything for you."

At that, her eyes opened, and her head returned to a level position, she considered him for a moment. He was her only friend in the world, and he had just said he'd do anything for her. She couldn't help but smile softly at this fact—she had felt so alone since Mark's death, and here she was, with a friend. He loved her. She knew that—he needed her, too.

She smiled at him, and slowly walked past him into the kitchen.

She cleared her throat, and asked: "So, would you like some coffee?"

"Sure."

She put the pot on, and retrieved two coffee mugs from the cabinets.

She then went to the living room, where Robert had sat down on the couch, and sat down next to him.

He was quiet as she sat down, aimlessly looking around, at nothing. He cleared his throat this time, and chanced a question he'd been wondering all night "Elizabeth... why did you ask me here tonight?"

It was the question she'd been dreading all night. She didn't want to answer it, partially because she wasn't sure why. She just needed someone to be with her.

She sighed, and decided to tell him the truth, to speak from her heart.

"To be honest, I'm not quite sure. All I know is that things have been so...bad since... you know... and I've felt so alone. And, Robert, I didn't want to be alone. I didn't think I could stand another second alone—I needed someone."

Her words made him hurt inside—she had been hurting—she had been alone. "But...why me?" he questioned. He didn't understand why she had chosen him of all people.

"Because you're my only friend in the world."

As the words left her mouth, she fought to hold back the tears, and the tears at bay were evident in her voice as she spoke. As Robert heard these words, his own emotions took over.

He put his hand under her chin and lifted her head so that her eyes would meet his gaze.

"Oh, Elizabeth...I will always, always be here for you." He said as she looked him in the eye.

They lingered for a moment when the sound of the coffee being done broke their gazes. Elizabeth jumped up to pour the coffee, she came back with two mugs, and handed one to Robert. Neither of them drank it, but set it on the coffee table, and sat in silence.

"Robert..." Elizabeth broke the silence "thank you for everything."

He smiled "As I've said before, I'd do anything for you."

"No really, I couldn't have been alone one more day."

"Elizabeth, you've never been alone—I've always been here for you."

"I know." She said "But, not like this."

She looked at him, and he opened his mouth to reply "That's true." He said simply. "But I'd be here, like this, for you anytime."

He saw the tears in her eyes well up again, and he couldn't help but feel a pang in his heart—he hated seeing her cry. "Elizabeth, please don't cry."

"It's just that—I've been searching for something and I don't even know what it is. It's like this... thing that keeps eluding me. And I'm filled with nothing but emptiness and sorrow... except..." she broke off.

"Except..." he prompted.

"Except... when I'm with you. You make me forget how much I'm hurting inside. Robert, you make me forget."

He saw a change in her eyes—a change that could only be described as desire. She leaned closer to him, and he leaned closer to her.

Their lips were so close—he could feel her breath on his lips, and he brought a hand to her face as his fingers caressed her cheek.

It was then that he saw it—however briefly it was there—he saw it. A glimmer of something in her eyes as his fingers touched her cheek. Pain.

There was pain in her eyes as his hand moved across the soft flesh on her cheek. He tore his eyes away from hers, leaving her feeling at loss. And leaving him feeling helpless.

"Robert...what's wrong?" she asked.

"Elizabeth..." he began.

She cast her eyes downward, as a familiar feeling returned to the pit of her stomach. It lurched, and she winced as the old feelings came back to her.

"...Elizabeth—this isn't about me; you don't have to do this for me." He said tenderly. "You know how I feel about you. But...that doesn't matter right now. You're not ready for this." He continued "I'm going to go home." He looked at her, and she met his gaze. "Someday, your heart will let him go."

She started to speak—but he stopped her with his words: "Elizabeth—I can't give you what you need. I can't."

She started to speak but he put a finger over her lips "Shh—you don't have to say anything—I'm not going to be upset about this." He looked at her tenderly "My touch only brings back the pain—the memory of Mark. But someday, Elizabeth, those memories will fade away."

She looked at him—he loved her. He loved her, and he was walking away. He was walking away because he knew that he couldn't make her okay—she had to work things out for herself.

He began to walk away, but stopped, and turned to face her: "As soon as you get that feeling you can start to live again—after you make it all make sense—Run to me. I'll always be here—always."

He smiled at her, and walked out into the rain.

She closed the door and leaned against the back of it for support—she was overwhelmed with emotion—as the tears fell down her cheeks. She slid her body down the door, and sat crumpled on the floor—crying the tears she'd held back.

Robert walked to his car in the pouring rain—he'd done what he had to—to help her. He loved her, and he would always be there—once she decided she could love again—live again, he'd be there. When it all made sense, he'd be there for her—to love her.

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Review... please!!!!

I need to get happy—I can't go to Spirit West Coast because I have a scholarship banquet... and I'm very sad about that.

Please review this... so that I can smile!

Thanks!!!

Natalie!