DISCLAIMER:Bakuten Shoot Beyblade belongs to Takao Aoki and various other Japanese companies. Pity… * sighs *
THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW:This is the hardest, most mentally-challenging fic I've had to write in a damn long time. This might seem confusing at first, but I know y'all are smart peeps, so you guys can figure this out. If you catch the symbolism, good for you. If not, well… try harder. ^^ I borrowed Rei's mother from corn3ts wonderful fic "Fitting In", and if you've read it, you might recognize her ( If you haven't read it, go read right after this! )
FOR:One of the greatest people I have ever had the privilege of knowing, corn3ts. Love you! ^^ Also, this is for all you K/R fans out there who still continue to love K/R up to this day. You guys are the best.
On with the fic…
SUMMARY:The world of one becomes the world of both. A story of the twisted kind between two people in love, in lust and in desperation.
A TALE OF TWO MEMORIES
You do know that they hate you, right? Not that they've ever liked you… I'm sorry that it had ever come to this.
I don't know if I could even do anything to at least dampen Shiro Tora's hatred for you.
I'm sorry. I could say it a million times, you know. But it's never going to be enough. Words could only do so much.
Do you want to know why they hate you?
Remember that party we went to after the World Tournament? The one you didn't want to attend? I knew you didn't want to even if you said otherwise. It was as plain as day on your face. But that's not the point… It was only a few weeks after our battle with Yuri and the others. I still felt weak after those horrid days of being bedridden, but I wanted to come. And since the rest of the team wanted to come, you did, too.
You came with us and you were bored and you got drunk. I don't know if you wanted me back then but I already wanted you. You pulled me aside and pushed me against the wall and tried to see all of me without the barriers of clothing. How very reckless of you, that time. But I loved you and I didn't care.
Do you remember that? Did I ever tell you that she saw us? He saw me kneeling in front of you. She saw my head bobbing up and down against you, and you bit your hand to stop from moaning.
She saw us and that's when she hated you. I know it's all because the door was open. Because you had reduced me to this, you made me submit to you. No one has ever done this to me. I may lose in a bey-battle, but I never lose my pride. But the thought of pride flies away when I'm with you.
I think she knew from that moment that I'd chosen you. I'd chosen you instead of her and my family and everyone else. She knew and she hated you, since she could never hate me.
I chose you.
So, Kai, can't you choose me now? Please, Kai? Come back to me?
He dreams of Beyblading. There are no other players but he is in the ring, there is no crowd, there is no referee. His dream is in gray colors, like an old movie. Even his beyblade is a bright, silvery gray spinning out of his reach. He is frustrated in that dream, and he goes down to the ring to catch it. And when he does, he squeezes it until it pierces his palm and blood runs down his forearm.
He dreams of lying in his bed. Everything is dark around him. He doesn't know how this is possible, but he can see himself, still, quiet, barely breathing. He knows someone is standing over him. Someone is holding a knife over his head. He can't see who is there, but Rei can make out the distinct shape of a knife as it catches a bit of moonlight from the window. He prays hard so he could be safe, but the knife falls and Rei wakes up a second before the impact. He shivers and touches his head with relief upon seeing that it's intact.
The dream sometimes repeats itself. Rei always wakes up feeling unable to breath.
Kai is beside him, sound asleep as he dreams and wakes up and the wind is knocked out of him.
Rei doesn't know whether to feel relief or pain as he watches his beloved sleep in ignorance.
Rei knows something is about to happen when his mother sends him a letter.
My dearest Rei,
I'm glad I found the time to write to you this week. The village has been less than pleasant during this time of year. Perhaps it has something to do with the weather.
I am so happy that you've been doing well in your Beyblading. I've seen your recent tournament in… Europe, wasn't it? You were splendid. Everyone is talking about you here as if you were their hero.
Even if you weren't their hero, you would always be mine.
Your father sends his love, as do I.
She had never been worried about his safety.
It puzzled Rei, but he didn't dwell on it for long. He folded it meticulously, and kept it in one his bags.
He did not bother to send a reply.
When I lie beside you, you're not cold. Your warmness is an illusion, though.
If I sang to you, would you wake up? Takao once remarked that I had an unusual voice. Not like anything he'd heard before. Max had laughed at that, and told me that Takao was being an idiot like he always was. Of course Max didn't mean that. He loves Takao as a rose would love the rain.
Max smiled at me and told me that I had a voice that would make angels weep with jealousy, or with love. His bright, blue eyes shone with sincerity that I just had to smile back.
But no one is as heavenly as you. If I sang, then why would you not weep? Why would you just stay like that? I'd rather see tears dripping down your cheeks than blood draining from it.
Now I'm in mourning. How can you mourn someone who's alive? You are alive, you're alive, you're alive, alive, alive, breathing, moving your eyes under your eyelids, sometimes I think you twitch, you're breathing on your own, you dream, you're alive…
But you don't come back to me.
Do I deserve it? I, not Takao or Max or anyone else, I.
Rei was feeling very inspired that day. Thus, he took his pen and some paper and made something close to his heart.
After sometime, the paper was filled with scribbles of Byakko. He giggled like a little child would at the thought of his beloved white guardian. He couldn't imagine his life without Byakko.
Unknowingly, Byakko had so suddenly deserted his thoughts. And in his wake, he left a phoenix. A magnificent, shining, ruby phoenix. Rei thought that he would be blinded, but it only brought him warmth. He was filled with peace as his fingers glided over the smooth surface of the paper.
He sketched the crimson-feathered Suzaku alongside his Byakko.
There couldn't have been a more perfect picture than the one he had made.
"Stay with me always". Rei's voice was muffled and his breath warm on Kai's naked chest.
"I won't promise you anything".
Rei grimaced on his skin. It was a strange sensation, almost like being kissed by a fish.
"Look, I shouldn't even be here tonight. I promised Takao that I'd—"
"Then why did you stay? No one needs you here." Rei moved away from him.
Kai went after him, and as an afterthought, hid under the covers, too. In the darkness they were more alike than different.
He is sixteen. For the very special occasion of his birthday, he wakes up early and brushes his long, raven hair slowly and lovingly. Then he realizes that his bedmate is nowhere in sight. He shrugs, and goes down anyway.
In a gust of wind, he is swept into the waiting arms of his lover.
"Sweet sixteen, hmm?" His smooth voice envelops his senses like spun silk.
"Mm-hmm" He murmurs in return.
"I have something for you." He whispers. Then the other feels paper being thrust into his palm.
And now there's 2 of
You see, Me + You
Is a grand breakthrough
How can I ever make do
( I wouldn't have a clue )
'Twould be a big hullaballo
'Twould be so untrue
If I withdrew
And bid you "Adieu"
Call it a taboo
Raven strands falls across his cheek as he reads and laughs giddily.
"You made this?"
Amber eyes shine bright in answer. " What do you think?" He knew his beautiful one loved poems as if it were his life sustenance. Making one, even a very short one, took up a fair amount of his time. It wasn't as long as he would have wanted it to be, but it was not the amount of words that mattered. Rather, it was the feeling behind it. In the end, he thought, it was all worth it, if it was for him.
He wraps his lean arms around his lover, reaching up just a little bit to reach the other's height. "Thank you."
And really, what else could he do as his amber eyes raked over his other's smooth skin? What else could he do but kiss the flesh in front of him? What else could he do but press his lips against it and mouth it? He felt the fabric covering his goal leaving a dusty, dry taste in his mouth, the flesh underneath pulsing in excitement.
I'm still trying to understand why I love you. Ten years of trying and I still don't know. I feel courageous and almost persistent to the point of insanity. But I'm not like you. And if ever given the choice, I'd never want to be like you. I don't believe in a lot of the things that you've said and done, since most of the time your mind is shrouded in hate and anger and scorn.
I wonder if you've ever had to deal with idiotic PRs, managers, bitches, co-workers, photographers, fans… Wait, of course not. You see? Even if our line of work is different, I still know everything about you.
I know that everyday you're out there fucking others and I had to sit back and watch and drown, drown and I wanted to see if I would bleed because you were making me freeze inside and you didn't even care.
Ten fucking years. I feel like an idiot.
Kai, wake up, damn it.
The National Enquirer dated January 5, 2008
The fairy-tale couple of the Beyblading World is celebrating seven years of togetherness this weekend, January 8. Hiwatari Kai, President of Hiwatari Corporation, World-renowned Beyblade developer and researcher and his partner, Super-Model and Popular Product Endorser Kon Rei will be hosting a small gathering at their $10 million home for the occasion.
Both are known as Beyblade World Tournament Champions in their younger years as part of the Powerful and World-recognized BBA Revolution Team. Also part of the team is Beyblade trainer Kinomiya Takao and Beyblade developer Mizuhara Max, who are both successful in their respective fields.
But what our readers want to ask is this: Seven years of a relationship and still no marriage? Even adoption doesn't seem to cross the minds of Mr. Hiwatari and Mr. Kon.
It is simply scandalous.
Kai closed his eyes. "Aren't you engaged? And to Max, no less."
"Yes, but does he have to know?" Takao gave him a smile, seductive as it was and promising.
It worked, for Kai felt the temperature in the room rise up a few degrees.
"You understand, it's just sex." He said. Why he said it, he didn't know. He only wanted Takao to be certain.
Takao laughed. "Of course. I love Max." He advanced on Kai and traced his mouth with his thumb, senses coming together, roughness and callousness mingling with sweat and power. Kai parted his lips.
"Mmm…" Takao said before kissing him.
His lips tasted like victory.
I wish I could bring myself to embrace you. You'd be warm and soft around me, and I'd burn you back to life.
But I can't.
You look so pathetic, Kai…just lying there. Like when you had that accident inside one of your company's labs. One of the beyblades flew right out of the ring and hit you in the head. It would have been funny if it weren't such a serious case. They took you to this very same hospital. You don't remember, do you? I do. I was still at a shoot because Sundays were so lonely without you that I'd rather pose without end than be at home and think of you. I was in the middle of a pose when someone came in and told me you were hit and I immediately drove to the hospital. There were so many reporters when I came.
Annoying wenches, all of them.
Anyway, when I arrived people wouldn't let me through. I saw Takao standing beside you and I could only seethe in the corners and ignore the reporters, who made idiotic comments and innuendos about how close Takao was to you, or did you think I didn't already know?
But I didn't mind, because I loved you, and all I cared about was when I would see you. Fortunately, one reporter suddenly screamed my name as she had apparently noticed me only at that moment. Being quite famous has its perks, after all.
I went inside your room. Takao smiled at me and he left without a word. He didn't speak to me for a long time after that.
Damn. It's almost seven. I have to go back for dinner. I'll come back later. Or maybe go to work. I don't know. You never listen to me, anyway.
If you did, you'd come back.
Rei stopped to smell a rose. "I don't even like roses." He said as he looked at him.
"What do you like?"
"Hm… I like lilies. Just look at their stems." Rei said as he guided him towards a patch filled with said flowers. "They're long and elegant and so thin you wouldn't believe they can support the weight of a flower. And yet they do." He knelt on the ground, raising his long and elegant fingers to touch the blossom. "Their petals are heavy and thick. They feel like velvet. One can imagine a garment made out of them, it would be voluminous and softly fragrant and one's fingers would not dare touch it, from fear of spoiling it."
"Because their petals are so thick, the light is captured inside of them. It transforms this flesh of the flower into something else."
Kai stopped listening. All he could see was Rei, reverently touching and caressing the single blossom as he described it. All he could think was: I've fallen for a poet.
If they weren't in a public place, if Rei wasn't obviously enjoying himself, Kai would throw him down and fuck him
And just as shockingly, he realized that he wanted to spend his life with this beauty.
Kinomiya Jin was a magnet. Rei was quite sure of that.
Even as a boy, he had always some sort of force drawing him to Jin. As a young man, the force grew stronger.
Rei would watch Jin as he talked to him, quietly observing every movement of his lips. He thought he heard him offering words of comfort.
"… My brother doesn't know what he's doing. I'm sorry."
Rei didn't hear any of this, as he shifted forward and kissed him. The other man was shocked, but he did not push Rei away. When their kiss came to an abrupt halt, Jin would look at him with probing eyes. Guilty eyes.
"I thought…you and Kai-kun…"
Yes, Rei loved Kai. Yes, he would sacrifice his entire being for him. Yes, he had something undoubtedly special with him.
Yes, Rei would take revenge on Kai.
And so he did not answer Jin's query. He just tugged at his shirt and pulled him down on top of him.
I'm fading without you.
I can't even sing anymore. I used to sing for you, but you never responded.
Why didn't you?
I've asked if I could get more doctors for you, if I could go to America to find you a cure, or develop one myself. They all said no.
Waste of money, they said. We could lose our combined earnings. But I don't care. You know me. When have I ever cared about things like that?
But when I see you…
You're officially dead, Kai.
I wanted to die with you, but I hope there's still a cure.
I am a fool, right?
He was thirteen. After a particularly hard day's work of training at various stadiums, he set Byakko down and pulled out a pen and paper.
Feet, thought planted
Firmly on the ground
Head held high,
Not affected anymore
Thought to be wise
That grew to be lies
By the thought of
He snorted suddenly.
He crumpled the paper and threw it hastily.
Fei was sitting in front of a mirror and Rei stood behind her, brushing her hair. If Kai was there he would have laughed, but Fei's expression was so soft and Rei's so open that he wouldn't have been able to do it. She had her eyes closed and her head tilted back, smiling gently as Rei passed the brush carefully through her hair.
"He's not worthy of you." Fei said suddenly.
"Mother…" Rei sounded truly annoyed.
"Honestly." She opened her eyes and stared at Rei's reflection. "You're a Kon. You deserve better."
"You know I love him."
"Yes, but does he love you? Rei, you are a Kon."
"So? My family should come first and all that?"
She smiled. "I'm not saying that. You obviously chose Kai as your partner. That's what worries me. I'm not a Kon by blood and so I see more clearly. I've studied the Kon history when I married your father and one thing I've noticed is how loyal Kons are."
Rei snorted. "And I suppose that would be something to actually worry about."
Fei chuckled. "Loyalty is a strange thing. Sometimes we give it to persons unworthy, or put it in failed causes. That doesn't make it any less important, though."
"What are you…"
"What I'm saying is that by giving your loyalty to someone who doesn't deserve it, you only bring yourself pain."
"Mother…" Rei said, feeling uncomfortable.
"I believe in better things, you know. I believe in the rush of holding someone's life in your hands, in changing destiny."
"Why are you telling me this?"
"Because, my beautiful, beautiful son…" She said, leaning close to Rei, so that their foreheads were almost touching. "... We are not meant for happiness. We don't have the right to dream, or to make wishes. To do so only leads to more misery. But if you accept your fate then you won't be unhappy." She kissed Rei on the mouth and then released him.
Rei collapsed. He was still staring at her as she resumed brushing her hair.
The National Enquirer dated September 17, 2011
What exactly is the nature of the relationship between Beyblading Champions Hiwatari Kai and Kinomiya Takao? Everyone is asking this question nowadays. What exactly happened, or is happening between them, especially if we consider the past, where everyone says that they were rivals-turned-good friends?
But is it more than just that?
Recently, rumors are flying around saying that Mr. Hiwatari and Mr. Kinomiya are friends with the 'benefits' kind. Everyone surmises that this is the reason that Beyblade developer Mizuhara Max has indefinitely postponed his supposed wedding to Mr. Kinomiya. To add to the trouble, people have been seeing more and more of Model Kon Rei 'going out' with an unknown man ( a source says that he is Kinomiya Takao's brother, but with that we are not certain ) in various parts of the city. For the people who have been living under a rock, Kon Rei is Hiwatari Kai's partner for the past ten years.
Stay tuned, dear readers, as the events of this real-life soap opera unfold before our very eyes!
I've forgotten how to count since this happened to you. If I do, I'll go mad.
Going mad; what a condition. I think I see it as more of a form of escaping my actions and the actions of those around me than anything else. It's a way to absolve myself from everything, especially from my own inadequacy.
If only I were more ambitious or braver.
Rei heard the door open, but he didn't look up. It was Max. "It's not going to get any better, is it?"
"He loves you."
"He hates me."
"If you didn't base your life on love, nothing would have happened."
Rei looked up, surprised that Max was telling him all this. "Maybe. But I refuse to give him up over something stupid like… like this!" He gestured frantically to nothing.
Max sighed. "Lunch would be served soon. Go change and bring Kai with you. He's in your room, I think."
It took him a while to understand what he's said. Kai? Rei moved from the bed reluctantly. Such a shame. He really wanted to somehow destroy himself on that bed.
Changing would be good. Seeing Kai would not be good. Rei was quite sure that the particular feeling of distance between them was mutual.
There was a question instead of a knock. "Rei?"
"Go away. I'm not here."
"I don't want to talk to you."
"You must listen to me."
"No. Go away."
"This is ridiculous."
Rei laughed. Of course it was. He was kneeling behind the door so that he wouldn't miss anything. His mind told him to be strong but his body was reacting at the softness in Kai's voice. Of course it was ridiculous.
"Rei, I love you. Please open up."
"No. You're a selfish bastard. No. I didn't ask to be here. Why should I open this stupid door?"
"Rei, how do you think I feel sleeping alone when you're near me? I love you."
He could listen, but he didn't have to answer. He let Kai's anger wash over him.
Sighing, he gave in.
He always gave in at the end, when it came to Kai.
For each thing Rei says, there is atleast one he doesn't. Dark things, that don't belong to the day or even the warmth of Kai's embrace…
But instead of thinking about it, he keeps his eyes closed and burrows into Kai's arms, wishing he could find the ingredients for a stronger sleeping pill. "I want you to fuck me like you fucked Takao." he whispers.
Kai smiles. "Are you sure?"
Rei stares at him then nods.
Fearless Rei. He shouldn't be. Kai knows what sex with Takao was, Rei doesn't. "You asked for it." he says and jerks Rei around.
Before Rei could open his mouth, Kai opens his legs and thrusts inside him. Exactly as he did with Takao during the second year of their affair. Rei howls and tenses and he's just too tight, but Kai forces himself inside him, 'till they're joined together, 'till there's nowhere Rei can hide or Kai can run.
Rei still hasn't relaxed as Kai starts pulling away, but his hand reaches for Kai's and Kai feels bony fingers crush his own. Rei is slender but not fragile and he responds to Kai's fierceness. He hurts and Kai knows it, but he doesn't give up. Kai loves him even more for that.
Sex with Takao was about passion and violence. In and out, hard and fast, no concern. Win. There's nothing but winning. As he repeats the same patterns with Rei, bruising his skin where his left hand digs into Rei's hips, ignoring the blood stains between them, marking his nape and shoulders with his teeth without gentling the wounds with his tongue or lips. He has to win.
But Rei doesn't play with the same rules. He's passionate and wild, probably more excited than Takao ever was, but their hands stay linked throughout. He moans Kai's name, unlike Takao. He's not afraid to enjoy it.
And when Kai comes, he comes too. He begs Kai to stay inside him and brings their joined hands to his mouth, kissing Kai's knuckles.
No, Kai cannot fuck Rei like he fucked Takao.
And he's glad for it.
What sort of happiness did we have? Did we even have any?
Sometimes I think we would have been happier if we hadn't met each other. If you had stayed with Yuri's team ( right now, their team name escapes me ) and I just stayed in China with Shiro Tora, maybe we could have been happier.
But the world is full of maybes.
Looking back, I don't have a single regret, though.
"I don't want to count, but I'm doing it. Fifty-seven days. Are you there? Are you listening to me? Is Kai still inside you? Your consciousness, your intellect, your pride, your sweetness? Are you forever lost to me? Come back to me, even if it is to hate me. Please?"
Kai opened his eyes. Everything was blurred, Rei a pale shadow wrapped in shapeless blue beside him, his dark hair catching the sunlight, his palms warm as they grasped Kai's own.
"I still want to give up, you know. But that would be so easy. And if I were gone, do you think Mao would let you live? I refuse to let her kill you again. No."
Kai wanted to raise his hand and catch hold of the glinting hair. So fascinating, a bright blur that would never leave him. But he couldn't. All he could do was flex his fingers, still trapped in Rei's warm hands.
A shift of blurry paleness was all that Kai saw, enough to know that Rei was staring at him.
He tried to nod and it seemed that Rei understood, for Kai heard him sigh and then felt Rei's lips on his hand. Lips warmer than tears.
Kai closed his eyes again.
Shiro Tora = White Tigers
Mao = Mariah
Byakko = Drigger
Suzaku = Dranzer
Yuri = Tala
Jin Kinomiya = Takao's brother ( this is canon since he appears in G-Rev )
Comments welcome! ^__^