Hammond's Angel

CATEGORY: Humour, parody, farce, insanity... just pick one!
SUMMARY: The SGC has a very popular little doctor!
PAIRINGS: You probably don't want to know!
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognised characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Dedicated to Clara for the talk which inspired this. She told me to write it, so I did and it's all her Teryl's fault. This is what waiting for five hours in Heathrow Airport, having only had an hour and a half's sleep the night before does to you!! And I still can't believe I wrote it!

He loved to watch her as she talked. He never understood anything of what she was actually saying normally, so instead he would sit there and listen to the sound of her voice. He loved the way her eyes sparkled when she was excited, and always felt his heart skip a beat when she smiled.

Pity it was never at him.

George Hammond, Major General in the United States Air Force, base commander of the SGC and grandfather of two, felt like a lovesick teenager. He sat at the head of the briefing table, watching the brilliant officer make her presentation. He may have been old enough to be her father, but he didn't care.

If only she did.

He just nodded as she finished and retook her seat. His eyes moved from her to the man sitting next to her. George could barely see him in his professional capacity whenever she was there. He was just:

The Boyfriend.

With one last survey of the table, he dismissed the briefing and headed towards his office. His gaze discretely wandered downwards until his view was blocked. He frowned slightly when he saw the hand come to rest on the small of her back. Maybe he should talk to them again about how they were, and weren't, expected to behave on base.

George sank down into his comfortable leather chair, and sighed. He reached for phone on his desk, and pressed two.

"Hello, Andy, it's George," he greeted as the president picked up. "I've just had that briefing I was telling you about last week. Yeah, you were right – she's definitely growing it again. It looks good. Not that it didn't before, of course, you understand. Yes. Oh most definitely yes!"

Leaning back and relaxing in his chair, George opened his middle drawer, moved a couple of files out of the way and picked up the frame hidden there. She smiled up at him.

"All right, Andy. Yes, I understand. Yes, I'm on it. Enjoy England! Bye now."

Hammond placed down the phone and sighed happily. It was nice that the President had the same taste as him.

The President had also informed him of the next fan club meeting. George knew he'd have to make sure his schedule was clear next Tuesday night. It was a shame that Andy couldn't make it, but there was really no way that he could get away from that persistent British Prime Minister.

* * *

"Order, order." Paul Davis banged the gavel, and George sighed inwardly. Something had gone terribly wrong when Paul got voted in as president, and the addition of the gavel was too much. "I call this meeting of the Janet Fraiser Appreciatior's Society to order."

"A whole weekend retreat and we couldn't think of a better name?" Jacob Carter muttered to his friend, and George tried not to snort. He didn't particularly like the name either, but still thought that Jacob was sore that his suggestion, 'The Janet Fraiser Ass Watching Brigade', wasn't chosen. It was rare that Jacob made it to any of these meetings anyway, and he was only there as long as Sam didn't find out that he was on Earth.

George looked around the room at all the familiar faces, from Sergeant Siler (complete with wrench), to that six foot four marine that he could never remember the name of, to Doctor Rayner, the latter of whom was one of the few members not involved in the SGC directly. He was surprised to see Jonas Quinn on the far side of the room, sandwiched in between Bert and Luke the food server, and made a mental note to go and have a word with him. For one thing he wanted to know how he had got there without Hammond knowing!

The meeting passed in its normal pleasant haze. George remembered pictures, and the suggestion of burning an effigy of Doctor Jackson (unsurprisingly bought up by Steven Rayner). Siler also gave a talk on which injuries were the best for actual bodily contact, and George had briefly wondered if a tendon injury was really that bad.

* * *

George thought his day would be good when, at nine thirty, he received a call from her, asking if she could come and see him in his office. He wasn't sure what for – he'd never missed a medical appointment in her infirmary (Well, there had been that one exception when his annual physical had been scheduled for the week she had spent on vacation in Florida with Cassie and The Boyfriend…)

He had soon realised that it wasn't going to be a good day when Doctor Jackson had come with her. He knew that it wasn't going to be good news for him and that was just confirmed when she opened her mouth.

"Sir, we just thought that we should let you know that I'm pregnant," Janet said, a huge smile on her face. George wondered if they could see the colour drain from his face as he tried to absorb the news. He watched as Doctor Jackson moved in closer behind Janet, and wrapped an arm around her waist.

"We also wanted to tell you that I've asked Janet to marry me, and she's agreed," Doctor Jackson added.

George wondered if he was having a heart attack, then idly wondered why he'd never thought about faking one before.

"I see… Congratulations Doctors," he managed, as heartily as possible. He rose to his feet and offered his hand to them, before placing both palms on his desk for support. "I trust that you will fill in all the necessary paperwork the Air Force will insist on?"

Janet nodded. "Yes, sir," she said. "We just wanted to tell you in person."

"Thank you for doing so," George replied, although he wasn't sure which way of finding out would have been worse.

Janet smiled, and his heart skipped two beats when he realised that she was smiling at him.

"If you don't mind, sir…" Janet was indicating that they wanted to leave, and George was just thankful that they were both on duty for the rest of the day. He wondered what the chances of an off-world emergency involving Doctor Jackson were, then dismissed it. It was too late anyway – the damage was already done.

"Of course, dismissed," he said, sinking back down into his seat as he watched them leave together.

He frowned, suddenly realising something. "They do know that if they marry then her name will be Janet Jackson?" he asked himself out loud.

He wondered if that was grounds enough to object to the marriage.

* * *