Title: Sith Pies
Archive: Yes, please. Let me know if you take it, OK?
Teaser: Vader and Obi-Wan volunteer to guard Leia's cooling pies
Disclaimer: The characters are not mine. They belong to George Lucas, Lucasfilm Ltd and Fox. This is just for fun.
Author's Note: Obi-Wan never died in this story.
Darth Vader and Obi-Wan sat at the table. The holidays had rolled around again and Leia was busing in the kitchen baking pies. The delicious smell of apples and spices filled the house, making the two men's mouth water. Both their heads picked up when the kitchen door opened and Leia came out with a tray of four hot apple pies.
"We'll watch the cooling pies for you." Obi-Wan offered innocently.
"I don't know," Leia hesitated. "The last time someone offered to watch cooling pies for me they vanished."
"What else could you expect from that scoundrel Solo?" Vader remarked. "He is, after all, a smuggler and space pirate."
"Yes," Obi-Wan quickly agreed. "But we're Jedi. We've been trained to guard things. I give you my word as a Jedi that we'll be excellent pie guardians."
Leia still held the tray of pies, still hesitating. "You're not going to eat them?"
"How can I eat them with this mask on my face?" Vader asked his daughter.
"It's no fun eating alone." Obi-Wan smiled, his eyes twinkling. "We'll make sure the Wookie doesn't swallow them plate and all."
"All right…" Leia put the pies down and disappeared back into the kitchen.
Obi-Wan licked his lips and pulled a spoon out from inside his robes.
Darth Vader flipped his mask up using the secret hinges he had installed for just such an occasion.
Some time later Leia came out of the kitchen with a tray of four more steaming pies. She stopped and stared at the empty pie tins resting on the table, frowning. "Who ate the pies?"
"I didn't." Obi-Wan replied.
"You have crumbs in your beard." Leia pointed out to Obi-Wan.
"Neither did I." Vader replied.
"You have crumbs all over your black clothes!"
Obi-Wan and Vader brushed at the crumbs. "But we're Jedi!"
Leia set the new pies down and picked up the broom, brandishing it like a lightsaber. Swinging her weapon, she whacked both of them on their backs. "Get out of here, you Sith!"
Broom bristles sticking to them, they both ran for it.
I thought up the idea for this little story a couple of months ago when I was baking pies and decided to finally write it down.