My Immortal

A Post FIN tale

by Paully Adams aka abbaspice1

padams1@xmsg.com

Disclaimers: Xena, Gabrielle and any other characters featured in the actual TV series are copyrighted to MCA/Universal and Renaissance Pictures; just borrowing for this story. The story is mine. Please contact me before using any of my stuff. Thanks.

SPOILERS: FIN

ROMANCE WARNING/DISCLAIMER: This is subtext, just like the TV show.

Inspiration:  The Evanescence Song "My Immortal" played during the entire writing of this story.

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How long has it been?  Days, moons, even years has past by, but the wounds that were inflicted on my in Japa won't heal.  I find myself, my mind, reliving our days together.  In my head, I am still trapped in the past.  I can still hear your laughter as it echos in my ears.  I can still feel your tears on my fingertips.  I can still hear your breath and your heartbeat.

After all this time, you still captivate me.  I still hear your voice no matter what I do.  During the nights, your face haunts my dreams.  During fierce battles, I hear you giving me instruction.  During my lonely moments, I hear your sharpening your sword.  Then I look around, and you are not really here.  I am slowly losing touch with my sanity and with reality.

So now I hide.  I no longer wear the revealing tops; so afraid that someone will spot the tattoo and recongnize who I was.    I avoid crowds and villages.  I haven't been in Greece since the last time we were there--just too many damn memories.  The Battling Bard of Poteidaea died in a battle against the Roman legion in Egypt-- that is what I wrote in my last scroll.

When you needed me, I was there-- to catch every tear, to fight back every nightmare, to believe in you when no one else would.  Now I cry by myself, living a constant nightmare where you still haunt me.  I gave you half of my soul and now you won't give it back.

Why are you still here?  I did everything you wanted.  Your urn sits in your family crypt.  I went to Egypt and fought there for a time.  I've given over half of my life to fighting for the Greater Good.  I have nothing else to give.

Part of me wishes that you would go away.  When you first died, the ability to still see you, still feel you was a blessing.  But now, that blessing has turned into a curse.  I can't go back and I can't move forward.  I'm alive, but not living.  Trapped between two worlds, that is the existence I have now.

All because of my immortal love for you.