Welcome Home by Djinn

"So, did you miss me?"

"Of course I missed you. I always miss you."

"If you missed me, why are you standing all the way across the room?"

"Because I have work to do, and if I get near you, I won't get it done."

"That's actually a good reason. I like how dedicated you are."

"Jim..."

"What? You said if you got near me. You didn't say I couldn't get near you."

"You know what happens. That happens. What you're doing right now."

"You don't like it?"

"I didn't say that."

"You do like it?"

"I didn't say that either."

"For what it's worth, I think you like it."

"Mmmmm."

"That sound does not in any way qualify as a rebuttal, Chris. It can only be used in my favor."

"You're very conceited, Jim."

"I'm very good."

"Oh..."

"See."

"Ohhhhhhh..."

"Doctor, you said you had work to do? Should I let you get to that?"

"Stop what you're doing and I'll kill you."

"I was hoping you'd say that."

"GrrrggghhhhOH!"

"You seem to be having some trouble standing. Anything I can do to help?"

"Don't let go."

"I wasn't planning on it. You know, you have the most tantalizing neck. I just love to kiss it here."

"Mmmmmm."

"There you go again with the incoherent noises."

"Maybe it's time for you to make some of those."

"You think?"

"I do."

"Why, Doctor Chapel. What are you doing down there?"

"If you have to ask, maybe I shouldn't do it."

"Forget I asked. Carry on, Commander."

"Aye-aye, sir."

"Gggggnnnnnhhhhh."

"What was that, Jim? You're not usually so inarticulate."

"What part of carry on was unclear, Chris?"

"Oh, you want me to do more of this?"

"God..."

"And this?"

"Oh, yes please."

"And this."

"Oh god, don't stop. Don't stop. Don't--ahhhhhhhh."

"Why, Captain. You seem a bit unsteady. Anything I can do?"

"Don't let go of me."

"I wasn't planning to. You could lean against the nice strong table?"

"I'm all right."

"Yes. You always hyperventilate in a medical lab."

"Did I lock the door?"

"Very funny."

"I wasn't actually joking. Now, get up here."

"Oooh. I love it when you get all macho."

"Mmmm."

"I love it when you get all tender too."

"..."

"I really missed you, Jim."

"I can see that. By the way you're kissing me, I think I can assume you were alone all this time?"

"Like you even need to ask. Who'd want an old warhorse like me?"

"I've seen that assistant of yours watching you when he thinks no one's looking."

"Uh huh."

"Yep. And that admiral at dinner the last time I was here."

"He was cute, wasn't he?"

"I didn't particularly think so."

"No, Jim, I guess you wouldn't. Do you think he was serious about taking me off your hands?"

"Uh huh."

"Hmmm."

"And what is that supposed to mean, Chris?"

"Nothing. And if you mark up my neck again we're going to blow a circuit on the regenerator. What is it with you and my neck?"

"I love your neck."

"That's all I am to you. A neck."

"You're a hell of a lot more than just that, my dearest."

"You know I can't resist you when you look at me that way."

"You resisting me was not part of my nefarious plan."

"No?"

"No."

"Well that's a relief, Jim. Because I'm not sure I could."

"How's your experiment?"

"What experiment?"

"You didn't have work to do?"

"I may have overstated that. I know how you like a challenge."

"Vixen."

"You say that to all your wives."

"No. Just to you."

"Like I'm going to believe you don't have one of me in every spaceport."

"There's only one of you. And you're here. With me."

"For how long?"

"Five weeks. We're in for refits."

"I get you for five whole weeks?"

"Yep. You'll be sick of me in two."

"Not possible. Now, three maybe..."

"You'll pay for that--"

"--Jim, that tickles. Stop it. Mmmmmm."

"What was that you were saying?"

"Nothing."

"You ready to go home, Chris?"

"I am."

"Good."

"Jim. It wasn't locked."

"That's what I said. I was so eager--"

"--You forgot to lock the door. I love that."

"You'd love it a lot less if someone had walked in on us."

"Could have been my assistant. Do you think he'd be more infatuated if he'd caught any of that?"

"Oh yes."

"You're so biased."

"I believe that's how this is supposed to work."

"I believe you're right. Well, it's locked now, we can go."

"Anything I should know about at home?"

"Nope. Oh, well yes. We're taking care of the neighbor's cat."

"That thing hates me."

"He doesn't 'hate' you, he just doesn't like you."

"He sleeps on my pillow, he pees in my shoes, and he glares at me when I'm making coffee."

"Okay, maybe he does hate you."

"How long do we have to put up with him?"

"Just a few days. They needed to get away. I couldn't say no."

"I know. I'll survive. You're sure it's just a few days?"

"Yes. Should you be doing that?"

"What? Holding your hand?"

"Yeah."

"You're my wife, Chris. Why shouldn't I hold your hand?"

"Because all the other women will get jealous."

"You say the most wonderful things."

"Just the truth, Jim."

"Now who's biased?"

"Guilty as charged."

"I'm glad."

"So. Five whole weeks?"

"Five. Thirty-five days."

"Eight hundred and forty hours."

"You've been hanging around Spock too much, Chris."

"No, you hang around him too much. I'm over that need."

"Spock's loss."

"Not like he noticed."

"I invited him over for dinner later in the week."

"Will we be out of bed by then?"

"We'll make a special effort."

"Okay. Since it's for him."

"See, you do still like him."

"Well, he's your friend. And he's mine now too. So yes, I like him. But you're the one I plan on holding hostage in the bedroom."

"A fate worse than death. Maybe I should run now?"

"I think that would be wise, Jim."

"I'll take it under advisement."

"Thrill-seeker."

"Where you're concerned, I'm a junkie."

"Awww."

"Does this hallway seem unusually long to you today?"

"It sure does."

"Think anybody will notice if we ran?"

"Probably."

"Damn."

"We'll be home before you know it."

"I'm locking that cat out of our bedroom."

"Fine. As long as I'm on your side of the door."

"Oh, you're not going anywhere, Mrs. Kirk."

"You're the only one who calls me that. Well and the guy who runs the Chinese takeout place."

"I like the sound of it. Mrs. Kirk."

"I may have something else you'll like the sound of."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Are you going to tell me what it is?"

"Well, I'm nervous."

"Nervous? Just spit it out."

"Okay. How do you feel about ummm..."

"I've never seen you like this. What is so hard to say?"

"I'm pregnant."

"What?"

"Oh, god. You're not happy."

"Chris. No. I mean, yes. I'm happy. But how."

"Your last visit was a surprise. You know how absent-minded I get about the shots when you're out for long periods. I think I forgot."

"You think you forgot?"

"I forgot. But you were only back for a day and I thought that there was no way that we'd..."

"Hit a home run in one night?"

"That's one way of putting it."

"Hee."

"Oh, quit looking so pleased with yourself."

"I can't. I'm pleased with you too."

"Well, that's a relief."

"We can walk slower."

"Jim, I'm fine."

"But should we be...you know...doing things...?"

"Yes. We should. Believe me, we should."

"Okay."

"No acrobatics though."

"I'll take down the trapeze."

"Funny. I thought the cleaning lady was going to have a heart attack when she saw that."

"How'd you explain it."

'Told her you were from an old Czech circus family. Some people jog in the morning...you do trapeze."

"And she bought it?"

"Well, she wouldn't clean the bedroom until I took it down, so I'm thinking no."

"So I guess I should cancel the order for that trampoline?"

"Probably a good idea."

"You're really...?"

"I'm really."

"Wow."

"Yeah. That pretty much sums it up."

"Hmmm."

"I'm not sure I like that look."

"I'm just wondering how hard it would be to get an Earth assignment."

"Don't you dare. That ship is where you belong."

"You don't want me around?"

"I do. Of course, I do. But this is who you are. A starship captain. And I'm proud of you. And he or she will be too."

"That's nice."

"Something in your eye, Jim?"

"Nope."

"I love you too."

"I'm damned lucky to have found you."

"I was under your nose the whole time."

"I could say the same thing, Chris."

"Okay then. We're damned lucky to have found each other. All three of us."

"Or four."

"What?"

"Twins run in my family."

"Mine too. And mine's the generation they skipped."

"Mine too."

"Oh boy."

"You sure you don't want me to arrange that Earth duty?"

"I'm sure. But I may send them out to you on a shuttle when it gets too much for me."

"In stasis?"

"Yep."

"Damn. We're really doing this."

"We really are."

"You're happy, Chris?"

"I am. I was sort of in shock at first. But now, yes, I'm happy."

"Mmmm."

"Should you be kissing me in the middle of Starfleet Medical?"

"Why the hell not?"

"Welcome home, Jim."

"Best welcome home I ever got, Chris. The best ever."

FIN