Title: Monkey Brains

Author: mistymidnight

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be. (sad face)

Summary: Buffy takes advantage of her five-year-old sister.

Author's Notes: Gigi13 said I should do more past Buffy and Dawn fic. This is what happens when you encourage me.

Monkey Brains

            Five-year-old Dawn Summers got a chair from the kitchen table and dragged it over to the counter. She stood on it, used it to hoist herself onto the counter, stood up again, and opened the cabinet in search of some hot chocolate. It was almost Christmas, and although the temperature outside was in the seventies, Dawn wanted hot chocolate. It made her feel Christmas-y. Plus, the air conditioning was making her teeth chatter.

            She nearly fell off the counter when her twelve-year-old sister Buffy came in and asked, "What are you doing?" Buffy was mad at Dawn for butting in on one of her telephone conversations with her friend. Dawn had heard all about Buffy's crush on some sixth-grader named Billy Fordham and had wasted no time in telling everyone in her kindergarten class. Unfortunately, Dawn's kindergarten class was in the same elementary school as Buffy was. News moved quickly.

            "Looking for some hot chocolate," Dawn informed her sister.

            "Why? It's warm enough to go to the beach."

            "But it's almost Christmas," Dawn explained.


            "So I want some. I like the little marshmallows."

            A sly look came over Buffy's face. Here was her chance for revenge!

            "Dawnie," she said conspiringly, "come here. I have to tell you something."

            "What?" Dawn asked, immediately picking up on Buffy's secretive tone of voice. She climbed back down to the kitchen floor and walked over to her sister.

            "Those aren't marshmallows," Buffy said softly.

            "What are they?" Dawn asked, awed that she herself had never noticed that marshmallows weren't apparently all that people said they were.

            "I'm gonna tell you, but you have to promise not to tell anybody."

            Dawn nodded enthusiastically.

            "Now, you know how Mom always tells you to eat your pork."

            Dawn nodded and wrinkled her nose. "It's icky. I don't like it."

            "I know," Buffy said. "Well, pork is good for you because it has protein. Protein comes from animals," she explained. "Well, since you wouldn't eat your pork, Mom decided to get you protein in a different way. Can you guess how?"

            Dawn shook her head, completely fascinated by what Buffy was telling her.

            "She knows that animal, any part of the animal, is full of protein. So…" Buffy leaned down and motioned for Dawn to come closer. "So she gave you…monkey brains."

            "Monkey brains?!" ´Dawn screeched.

            "Shh!!" Buffy scolded. "Now remember, you can't tell anybody. Just to be safe, you shouldn't talk to me about it ever again either. Just in case someone's listening."

            Dawn nodded, near tears. "I've been eating monkey brains?"

            Buffy nodded sadly. "Alas, my young sister, you have," she said dramatically.

            Dawn looked like she was about to cry again. "But…but monkey brains are gross!"

            "Don't shoot the messenger," Buffy said, shrugging and walking out of the kitchen. "Don't forget, you can't tell anybody."

            "But what else are monkey brains in?" Dawn asked.

            "Lucky Charms, rocky road, s'mores," Buffy said over her shoulder. "The big marshmallows that you use for s'mores are orangutan brains."

            Dawn took a deep breath.

            "But—I—like—Lucky Charms!!!"


The whole 'monkey brains' thing came from one of the Season Five episodes where Ben and Dawn have a heart-to-heart chat over hot chocolate. Dawn mentions the marshmallow issue.  (I think the episode was "Blood Ties", maybe not…)