Title: And Babies Makes Six

Author: paws-bells

Genre: Humor/General

Word Count: 2798

Type: Multi-Chapter (InComplete)

Rating: T (Suitable for teens, 13 years and older, with some violence, minor coarse language, and minor suggestive adult themes)

Summary: Oh no. This was the reason why Sanzo wanted nothing to do with this. Can he start shooting people now?

Disclaimer: Saiyuki and all its characters are not mine. They belongto Kazuya Minekura.

Chapter Last Revised on: 07/11/07


Chapter 1


It all started the usual way...

"Ne, Saaaannnnnnzzzzzooooooooo, HARAHETTA!"

"You are always hungry, baka saru. When are you not?"

"You shut up! Ero kappa!"

"Oi, who are you calling ero kappa!"

"Who else? E-R-O K-A-P-P-A!"

"Kono baka saru!"

"I am not a monkey!"

"Then you are stupid? Ho, the monkey finally admits it!"

"Maa, maa, let's get along, shall we? We should be reaching the town in a few minutes time."

Fortunately, Hakkai managed to curb the quarrel this time before Sanzo decided to intervene.

A few minutes passed in silence. Then...

"Ne, Saaaannnnnnzzzzzooooooooo, HARAHETTA!"

Genjo Sanzo, the 31st protector of the Maten Kyomen, gritted his teeth in annoyance. A very familiar vein pop appeared on his left forehead. He itched to use the paper fan on the head of a certain monkey but forced himself to meditate instead. After all, this was only the fifth time that Goku announced his hunger. The paper fan was usually applied after Goku's tenth or so declaration.

"I'm hungry-"

'Six.'

"I'm hungry-"

'Seven.'

"I'm hungry-"

'Eight.' Sanzo prepared to reach for his fan.

"I'm hungry...WHAT!"

Goku glared at Gojyo.

"Why you redheaded gokiburi!" His golden eyes flashed dangerously. "Why did you kick me for!"

"You are irritating me," came the short reply. "Who cares whether you are hungry or not. And don't call me a cockroach."

"Heh...but you are one, complete with antennas too."

"Kono..."

Sanzo had enough. Nine declarations of hunger are as near as ten anyway. Maybe he ought to shorten that list to five times instead.

"URUSAI!"

Goku and Gojyo spent the next three minutes frantically dodging bullets left and right.

"Hey, watch where you point that thing, you corrupt monk!"

"Hakkai TASUKETE!"

Hakkai feigned ignorance and with a gentle smile he continued driving, heedless of the racket behind him. His smile faltered suddenly. Hey, is that...

Sanzo kept the shourejyu when he ran out of bullets and whipped out his paper fan. He was about to start whacking the thick heads of Goku and Gojyo when Hakuryuu screeched to a halt. And since Sanzo happened to be the only one standing, Hakkai, Goku and Gojyo's eyes widened as they watched their resident monk sail out of Hakuryuu and land headfirst into a roadside bush. All three winced collectively.

"Sanzo! Daijoubu ka!" Hakkai asked anxiously.

There was a long silence.

Then the long string of curses literally flew out from the bush. Hakkai sweatdropped. He did not know that a person could do what Sanzo had described to a chicken.

Goku and Gojyo laughed and leaned against each other for support, their earlier quarrel forgotten. The look on Sanzo's face when he took flight was hilarious. The pair laughed harder. Relieved that Sanzo was all right, Hakkai got off Hakuryuu to check out the reason that he had stopped.

"Anou...daijoubu ka? Did Hakuryuu hit you just now?" The brunette asked the hooded figure who was sprawled on the floor. Before he could offer his help, the person had already picked himself up.

"Hai, daijoubu."

By now, Sanzo had managed to unstick himself from the bush and was looking rather murderous. Picking up the fan that was lying some distance away from him, he turned and stormed towards the laughing idiots.

::WHACK:: "SHI NE!" ::WHACK::WHACK::WHACK::WHACK::WHACK::

"Ittttttaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii..."

Hakkai sweatdropped. He turned to the person beside him.

"Do you need help?"

"Hai, I do." The voice was polite and crisp. "I need..."

"KAI!"

Sanzo, Goku and Gojyo promptly stopped what they were doing. Hakkai turned towards the direction of the sound. Everyone watched as a blur of white made its way towards them. It was about to reach Hakkai and the hooded figure when it tripped. The 'blur' bounced the remaining distance to land at Hakkai's feet.

"Itai..."

The figure named Kai gave a sigh of exasperation.

"What is it, Saki?"

Gojyo, Goku and Sanzo stared at the heap in front of Hakkai.

"Is that an old woman?" Goku asked.

The redhead shrugged.

"Wakarinai. She sure as hell doesn't act like one."

Sanzo kept silent. The woman with long white-hair was still on the ground, and he had not seen her face yet.

Saki picked herself up and went to stand beside Kai. It was then that they saw her face.

Gojyo whistled soundlessly between his teeth. This Saki was not old after all. The petite girl was downright beautiful. Exotic forest green eyes that contrasted with all that pristine white hair, high cheekbones, an elegant nose and rosebud mouth.

"Wow..." Goku breathed. "She is not an old woman."

Sanzo thwapped him with his fan.

Hakkai watched as this Saki girl whispered fiercely to Kai. Then Kai whispered back, and it was quite a while before they agreed on whatever topic that they were discussing.

"As I said earlier, I need your help."

Sanzo and the others came over.

"I am sure that whatever you need, I will be able to provide." Gojyo crooned seductively to an otherwise unresponsive Saki.

Sanzo decked him with the fan.

"Stop that." The monk hissed. "We do not need this."

"Sure you do not need it. You are a monk, I am not." Gojyo muttered, fingering his head.

Sanzo muttered unintelligibly under his breath.

The hooded figure made a sound.

"I presume that you are a monk? A man of God?"

Sanzo nodded and at the same time he took out his packet of cigarettes, pulled out a stick and lit it with his lighter all in one smooth motion.

"Talk."

Saki stared. "You smoke?"

The blonde gave a shrug.

The white-haired girl then turned to Kai and pulled the figure aside.

"He smokes. A smoking monk. Maybe this isn't a good idea." The Sanzo-ikkou heard everything.

"I don't care what he does. He can have three wives, twelve kids, two dogs and a goldfish for all I care." Sanzo choked on a lungful of smoke. Goku sputtered and Gojyo laughed outright. Hakkai concealed a smile.

"They have a mode of transport and that is enough for me." Saki opened her mouth to argue further, but Kai interrupted. "Case closed."

Saki sighed and gave up.

"Sumimasen, but I believe that you are about to ask for our help?" Hakkai enquired when the two evidently finished their discussion.

"Yes, I believe that you are traveling west? All vehicles that are going along this road are heading west."

Hakkai nodded.

"Hai."

"I have a package that needs to be delivered west as urgently as possible but I have no mode of transport except for my own two feet. As an apology for knocking me down, can you please deliver it for me?"

Goku, Gojyo, and Hakkai were nodding in agreement, but Sanzo kept quiet. Something didn't smell quite right.

"What is inside the package?"

'This man is very sharp.' Saki noted.

"You will see it when we pass it to you." Kai answered smoothly. Sanzo looked skeptical.

"Anou...are you guys going to stay in this town for the night?"

"Hai."

"We shall show you to an inn then."

"If it isn't too difficult for you." Hakkai said politely. Hakuryuu transformed into dragon form in a flash of light, much to Saki's surprise. The Sanzo-ikkou were equally stunned when Hakuryuu, instead of flying and landing at Hakkai's shoulder, flew towards Kai and chirped to the person. Kai raised a hand to stroke the dragon before gesturing for it to return to its owner.

The group of seven, Hakuryuu included, walked into town.


"This is the place."

The Sanzo party saw a quaint little building.

"Is this it?"

Saki nodded.

Sanzo entered the building with no hesitation whatsoever. This place would have to suffice. He did not feel like looking for an alternative place to stay in. After all, he had stayed in worst places. Gojyo, Goku and Hakkai followed behind him. The group checked into a room with no difficulty whatsoever. Then they went to the inn's kitchen to fulfill Goku's favorite hobby: eating.

After two hours and three delicious full-course meals later (argument over the last dumpling included), fatigue was rapidly setting in for the group. Gojyo and Goku were already slumped over the table, fast asleep. Hakkai was drooping off, and Sanzo was desperately fighting the darkness that was gathering at the edges of his vision.

'It can't be that coincidental that all of us are tired at the same time...unless...MASAKA...the food..."

Violet eyes widened but it was too late. Saki came into the kitchen then, and there was an apologetic look on her face.

"Bitch..." Sanzo bit out. "You drugged..."

The drugs took full effect at long last and Sanzo felt his eyelids drooping. The last thing that he heard was a softly murmured apology.


The morning light shone brightly on Goku's face.

"Nanda?" He murmured and cracked opened a lazy eye. The sun was already high up in the air.

'This means that it is already...AFTERNOON!'

Goku sprang out of the bed that he was sleeping on. What happened? Sanzo never allowed them to sleep past morning! Did they leave him behind? Anxious, the monkey looked around. To his surprise and relief, the others were still fast asleep on their respective beds.

'What is wrong with them?' The golden-eyed teenager proceeded to awaken his companions.


Half an hour later...

The room was grimly silent. Sanzo had just finished explaining what had happened last night.

"I think that you are losing it, bozou." Gojyo said at last.

Hakkai nodded in agreement.

"I hate to admit it, but I agree with Gojyo. If this Saki wanted to kill us all, we wouldn't have awakened this morning."

"Then how do you explain that we awoke so late today?" Sanzo bit out, utterly frustrated.

"Maybe we were really tired," Goku ventured, coming out with a logical answer for once.

Hakkai nodded again.

"That is true; we have been sleeping on the road for the past five days."

"Well, even if the woman did drug us," Gojyo stretched. "I am glad. That was a wonderful sleep."

Hakkai nodded, and this time Sanzo snapped.

"Can you quit agreeing and nodding with everything idiot number one and idiot number two says? You are starting to resemble those fucking dolls who have fucking bobbing heads!"

Hakkai sweatdropped and was about to nod his head again when he caught himself.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door. Sanzo took out the shourejyu whereas Goku and Gojyo remained in a deceptively relaxed position.

Hakkai opened the door.

"Yes?" He asked politely.

"I believe that you were waiting to receive this package?"

Hakkai sweatdropped at the enormous box sitting in front of him.

"Anou...hai," he said at last. They did promise Kai. However, he sensed something weird within the box. Shaking his head, he decided that he must be still woozy from sleep and that his senses were not working right.

"Here it is then." The man delivering the box disappeared.

With some difficulty, Hakkai carted the box in.

The other three looked on with incredulity.

"This is the package?" Goku asked, wide-eyed. He poked at the box experimentally.

"How on earth are we going to put that in Hakuryuu?"

Sanzo shrugged.

"The three of you were the ones who agreed to help. You figure this out yourself." Sanzo smirked. "Maybe the box can replace the two of you in the backseat, and you two can walk to the west."

Gojyo scowled.

"Not funny, bozou."

"Anou, minna," Hakkai ventured softly. "I think that seating will be the least that we have to be worried about if my senses about what is inside the box are correct."

The other three stiffened.

"What do you mean?" Sanzo asked in a dangerously soft voice.

Sighing, Hakkai approached the box. He sincerely hoped that his hundred percent accurate ki-sensing powers are wrong this time. Hesitantly, he opened the flaps of the box and stared into it.

He blinked once.

Twice.

He rubbed his eyes.

And continued staring.

Two minutes passed.

"So, what is inside?" Goku asked inquisitively.

Hakkai turned his attention back to his comrades, and there was a dazed look in his eyes.

"See for yourselves."

He retreated from the box.

"Che."

Sanzo stood up and strode confidently to the box. He did not look into its contents. Instead he stared at Goku and Gojyo and with a raised eyebrow, he enquired.

"Well, are you coming?" he said snappishly. "Or are you both just too scared?"

That settled it.

Gojyo and Goku were up and beside Sanzo in a flash. They were about to argue and yell at the corrupt monk when their mouths were abruptly covered by Hakkai.

"Don't make the noise that you will regret later," the brunette said wisely. "Look into the box first."

Grumbling under their breaths, the trio stared curiously into the box.

Twin pairs of violet eyes stared back at them.


"Kawaii chibis." Goku grinned.

Sanzo and Gojyo turned to look at the monkey with horror in their eyes.

"Kawaii?" Gojyo whispered hoarsely. "Do you know that we have to bring those little squirts around with us?"

Goku nodded, and Gojyo smacked his palm against his forehead.

The interior of the box was dark, and all the men saw were violet eyes the exact shade of Sanzo's.

Hakkai brushed Gojyo aside then.

"Maa, maa, we might as well see these little kids properly, now, shall we?"

Sanzo wanted to yell "Fuck no" and tape the opening flaps of the box close and send it back to wherever the hell it came from. However, he knew that it was impossible; it was obvious that Hakkai and Goku were already protective of the children. There and then, he felt a slight headache coming up.

"Me too! I want to carry one too!" Goku followed Hakkai's example with great excitement.

He reached his hand into the box, and then withdrew it just as suddenly at great speed.

"Itai yo! It bit me!"

::Thwap::

"ITAI!" Goku glared at Sanzo. "What was that for!"

"They are not pets. Quit treating them like they are rabbits or something."

Goku stared at his finger where there was a slight tooth indentation on the skin.

"Rabbits don't bite."

Gojyo sweatdropped.

Sanzo lost it then.

"URUSAI! DO YOU WANT ME TO WHACK YOU WITH THE FUCKING FAN AGAIN?!"

Goku reared back with surprise. He retreated a few steps and bumped into Gojyo.

"Hey, watch it."

Hakkai shook his head at all the racket that the trio was making and made a mental note to himself that to try to lower their noise level from now on.

"After all, we must set a good example for you two, ne?" Cautiously, he put his hands into the box and reached blindly until he felt a pair of small shoulders. Griping his hands around them, he was about to hoist the kid up when he heard a tiny whimper.

"Daijoubu," He whispered comfortingly. "Ha-chan will protect you." He lifted the tiny body up.

Sanzo, Gojyo and Goku stopped their yelling the moment they saw the child. They blinked.

"Oi, Sanzo." Gojyo said at last. "Are you really a virgin like we think you are? Course that kid looks like you."

Goku nodded in agreement. The little girl whom Hakkai had lifted up had a mop of enchanting golden hair that reached past her shoulders. She was dressed in a pretty blue dress and looked to be no bigger than three years old.

Sanzo hissed at the redhead and whacked him with his fan.

"Kono kuso baka! Are you saying that every golden-haired child is fathered by me then?"

"Hey, quit waving that stupid fan around! Blond hair is very rare around here, you know? And furthermore," Added Gojyo, still not aware of the fact that he was threading on dangerous territory. "She has your eyes too."

"That doesn't mean that she is mine!"

"Che, your reaction might have led me to believe otherwise."

"Do you want to eat bullets?"

Gojyo shut up.

Goku clambered up to Hakkai who was lowering the little girl on the floor.

"What's her name?"

Hakkai shrugged.

"We will have to ask her. But first," He turned and reached into the box again, effectively blocking the view of the others. "We get the other one out."

Hakkai located the second pair of tiny shoulders with no difficulty and hoisted the child up.

Once he got a good look at the second child, Hakkai felt his eyes widen with surprise.

"Anou...minna-san..."

"What?" The three asked as one, still trying to get use to their newest member.

"I think that we are going to have some sort of identification crisis here."

Hakkai turned and revealed the other child, and Gojyo felt his mouth slide open.

"Shit." Sanzo muttered.

Goku looked from one child to the other.

"Twins?"


::tsuzuku::

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--paws