Author's Note: I apologize for taking so long on this chapter. I was writing on several different deadlines, then I was out of the country. Again, sorry. I'll have another chapter up by...oh, next Friday, I believe.
Disclaimer: See previous chapters
The newly solid Bakura flicked his tongue out against Ryou's lower lip. At the same time, he slid one hand to the white-haired boy's hip to pull him in closer.
Waves of pleasure coursed through Ryou's whole body as he opened his mouth slightly, allowing a warm tongue to enter, and he shivered delightedly. This is so nice, he thought vaguely. Except for that little voice in my head, this would be perfect…
-You hikari molesting son of filthy, thieving hyenas! Stop doing that to my innocent little Ryou!-
Ryou's eyes snapped open. Wait a minute. /'Kura?/
Ryou pushed away from the kiss, suddenly a bit worried. The Egyptian in front of him raised an eyebrow.
-Finally you listen to me!- Bakura-in-his-head raged. -Let me out, and I'll kill him for you!-
/No, no, no!/ Ryou exclaimed, desperately trying to keep the spirit in check. /Stop it, for goodness' sake!/
"Perhaps you would like to explain where I am and who you are?" the Bakura-looking-Egyptian suggested with a sort of disturbing smile.
Ryou found himself unable to do anything but gape. /If that's not you, 'Kura, then WHO DID I JUST KISS?/
-A perverted hikari molester, that's who!!-
Ryou felt fairly ready to faint. /Oh, good, I just French kissed a complete stranger who happens to look like my yami. My day is complete./
The Bakura-looking-Egyptian (for lack of a better term) was staring at him with one eyebrow raised. Ryou fought an urge to scream and run. Somehow he didn't think it would be a good idea.
-That damnable amulet!-Bakura hissed. -And Marik! I will personally see to it that he makes it to the afterlife ahead of schedule!-
/Maybe if we use the amulet again?/ Ryou suggested.
-Yes, and return this piece of crocodile refuse to whatever place he came from!!-
Just then, Ryou noticed a key piece of information. /Um. Where did it go?/
-The piece of crocodile refuse?-
/No, the AMULET, 'Kura, the AMULET!!!/
At that moment, said piece of crocodile refuse stated thoughtfully, "So, you're a witless serving girl, then?"
Ryou's eyes opened, if possible, even wider, until he was sure he looked like a mental institution escapee. He had to make several attempts before actually forming a coherent sentence. "I AM NOT A GIRL!"
Bakura suddenly exclaimed, -I think that is me!-, before laughing himself silly.
The Egyptian shrugged. "Either way, you're good looking. You look like me, you know," he said, scrutinizing Ryou's face closely.
Ryou honestly doubted that things could go downhill from that point. He was proven thoroughly wrong a moment later.
"Ry-chan!" To Ryou's never ending horror, there was Malik, at the factory door, holding a camera.
Are people conspiring to make all of my worst nightmares come true?Ryou wondered.
"I got it all on film!" Malik cooed to him. "That look on your face will be worth preserving, don't you think?"
-Kill him!- Bakura urged. Ryou would've gladly obeyed, but he was rather frozen on the spot.
"And what do we have here?" Malik purred, face abruptly sly. He walked up to the Bakura-looking-Egyptian with a predatory grin, shoving Ryou to the side. "Did 'Kura-chan get his wish after all?"
The tall, white-haired boy gazed at Malik for a minute, then shook his head. "Not as pretty as that one," he said, jabbing a thumb in Ryou's direction. Ryou wasn't sure whether to be happy or not.
Malik was dumbstruck for a second. Then he whipped out the Millennium Rod and yelled, "Those who cannot appreciate my beauty, DIE!!"
The Bakura-looking-Egyptian pulled out three knives from goodness knew where, obviously ready to use them. Ryou thought about running again, but he was too dazed to implement that plan.
Bakura took advantage of Ryou's confusion to take control of the body. He grabbed the Rod from Malik and whacked him soundly over the head with it. The blonde shrieked and tried to take the Rod back, but Bakura dodged easily.
The other Bakura looked on in fascination, at least until Bakura (the spirit) snatched away his knives.
I'm really going insane now,Ryou thought, bewildered.
"No fighting," Bakura said coolly.
/You're one to talk!/
Then, there was chaos.
Marik had switched places with Malik, and lunged toward the Millennium Rod that Bakura was still holding. Bakura quickly used the other Bakura as a human shield, pushing him into Marik's way.
Unfortunately (Ryou supposed), the other Bakura's instincts were just as good as spirit Bakura's, and the Egyptian sidestepped in time.
Marik was left with no one to assault, but regained his composure nicely, making a smooth turn so he could face the two Bakuras again.
All three of them stood, glaring at each other. Ryou was sort of glad that at least only his yami was armed. One psycho out of three wasn't bad, and the armed one happened to be his psycho.
"All right," Bakura announced. "Now I will decide what to do, and both of you will shut up."
/'Kura, don't do anything-/
Bakura aimed the Millennium Rod at the other Bakura. "Now, for molesting my hikari, you die."
/-violent,/ Ryou finished with a groan. /Stop it, 'Kura!/
/I don't care, you can't kill anyone./
-Well, I can…-
/If you kill him, I'll never speak to you again!/
-Can I kill Marik, at least?-
-Is that a yes?-
"Hurry it up, Tomb Robber," Marik snapped.
The other Bakura turned to face Marik, a curious expression on his tanned features. "Have we met?"
"Not you, him," Marik told him impatiently, indicating the spirit Bakura.
/This is giving me a headache./
"All right," Bakura said, having made up his mind. "Marik, leave."
"Give me the Rod!" Marik demanded angrily.
"Nope," Bakura said smugly. "I don't think so."
/'Kura, look out!/
Marik grinned-always, always, always a bad thing-and threw the camera he was holding at Bakura's head.
Ryou squeezed his mental eyes shut. Please let me get out of this in one piece, he prayed.
Bakura had no more hands with which to catch the incoming projectile, so the camera hit him in the middle of the forehead.
"Idiot Tomb Keeper!" Bakura howled, whipping one of the knives at him.
The other Bakura gracefully intercepted the knife before it could reach Marik.
Ryou saw a possible calamity coming, but he wasn't sure how he could avert it. Frantically searching his mind, he could only think of one thing that might do.
He seized control of the body from a protesting Bakura, and dropped the Millennium Rod and the two remaining knives, startling the other Bakura and Marik.
"Stop it!" Ryou cried, when they looked at him, momentarily forgetting one another.
Then, although he could sense his Bakura's dismay, he walked seductively toward the other Bakura. "Please stop," he said in a low tone that he had learned from the spirit of the Ring. "I can take you home and…explain...things."
Ryou had to ignore Bakura's shouts and threats, which was difficult. -Ryou, you stop that RIGHT NOW! You don't know me like I do! I'll KILL him if he touches you again! HIKARI!-
Ryou gulped, hoping his blush wouldn't show, and put his hand on the other Bakura's arm, sliding it upwards to rest on the taller shoulder. "Come on, let's go."
The other Bakura watched him, calculating, before showing that feral grin again. "Yes, pretty one. Let's go."
Marik apparently thought this was hysterically funny, because he was laughing maniacally as Ryou guided the other Bakura to the door. "Have fun!" he called after them, Millennium Rod in hand again.
The other Bakura snaked a hand around Ryou's waist. Ryou blushed even more. What have I gotten myself into?
-I WILL KILL HIM, BY RA!-