The Talk

By: Chibi-Suiko

A/N: I wanted to do something different, something spontaneous, something motherly. And that's where this came into action.

Summary: Slight reference to AAMRN. Exactly how does the talk go between Ash and his mother?

Dedication: Dedicated to Uranasu and Shippo123 for being a couple of the greatest online friends (not to mention, VERY impatient fans of my work) that a girl like I can have! I hope you both enjoy it!

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Ok, so we're sitting across from each other. Nothing seems unordinary. Nothing unfamiliar. I'll be leaving for Hoenn soon, hoping to start my journey from scratch. I know it'll be hard. But I can take it. I did before after all. I glanced at Pikachu sunbathing on the kitchen window sill behind me.

Won't she come out with it all ready?

"Ash..." She began. No; God, oh no... I can see where this is going, "I think it's time that we sat down long enough to discuss... The order of things." Something about her tone was a little... Scary.

"Uh..." What else could I say? There was no other way to recognize her statement.

"You understand that you're growing up. Your body is going through changes and things... Will start to seem more appealing in the future." There was no way I was hearing this. I think she's doing this to torture me. All girls seem to like doing that to me lately. 'Lately' referring back to the very beginning of my journey.

I gulped. Was she trying to talk about 'The Birds and the bees'? God, I'd had enough of that stuff from Brock. But I suppose that it can't be helped because once my mom starts... There is no stopping her.

"Um... All right..." I say, hoping that's enough for her to realize that I'm ackowledging her. It is.

"Let's start with hormones." She stated simply, I could tell she'd been reading a parenting guide. What did she think I was going to do?! Throw myself on top of the first girl I saw?!

Oh, that hurts.

"You see Ash, you have a gland in you. A pituitary gland, to be precise. It supposedly sprouts around your mid-teenage years and tells you that it's time for a maturity wake-up." My mother... Is trying... To convince me... Not to... Knock up... Some anonymous... Girl.

God, help me.

Misty had always said I needed one of those 'maturity wake-ups though'... But I didn't tell my mom that. Because the last time I told my mom something, this started. The last time I mentioned Misty, she went into a frenzy and called all the neighbors, shouting things like 'Oh, my little boy is finally growing into a young man!' and 'I'd like to order a box of specialized youth condoms'. Professor Oak was one of the included.

He and Gary were close. Heck, they were related! I can hear him laughing about ten miles away right now.

"Now I realize that some girls may all ready be a little... Alluring to you right now. But that doesn't mean that you should jump at the chance for a relationship. Wait until you're old enough, and wait until you know that special person long enough to consider..." Right about now, we're both blushing hot red and Mom takes the chance to change the subject. Kinda, "Take that Misty girl for example."

I groaned. Here we go. So what? I had a tiny, itsi-bitsy crush on her (Really! It was the size of an atom! Barely even there)! And that was about half a year ago! She was gone now, back in Cerulean and out of my life! Why does my mom even have to bring her up?!

"She was a very kind girl. Sweet, charming, if a bit aggressive. She was still a young lady worth you. She was a good friend. She would do you nicely." Let the phone ring, the doorbell; Hell, let the house catch fire. C'mon Pikachu, trip a wire, squirt ketchup on the walls; SOMETHING!

"Mom, you don't need to talk to me about this. Misty's gone, she's back home. Alone. In that huge gym while her sisters are away..." I ended, my face contorted into the slightest bit of worry. Yet it was nowhere near enough to lead me in the direction of giving her a call.

"Now, Ash... Don't you be getting any ideas." She can't possibly mean that. Oh my God, she thinks I... Ew. Okay, normally I wouldn't say something like that but, well, E-W. Ew. There was nothing else worthy of fitting that little inquisition she just made.

She's giving me a stern look right now, like was ready to run out the door and fly to Cerulean to *visit* Misty. Maybe I should. Just wait until Mom is sane again, "Now, as I was saying, hormones are raging spasms. They can cause you to do many things. I can't necessarily help you, Ash, but I can guide you. And so can Brock. We've both been through the same thing. Or, rather, one of us is in his prime." God, she couldn't be more true. That guy was nothing BUT a raging bag full of hormones, "You're growing up..." She stopped to sniffle, "God, my little boy is growing up, becoming a man right before my eyes! It's all too fast!"

"Um... Are-Are we done mom..? I kinda wanna get some training in before I go. Can't let my only Pokemon until I reach Hoenn gain too much weight..." At this, Pikachu throws me a glare, which I ignore. My Mom doesn't relent, but pulls me closer, looking about ready to bolt me to the floor, just in case I make a run for it.

"We aren't done yet, Mister. Soon, but not yet." Then she stood back from her glare and smiled like an angel, worthy of most effective recognition. God, she had me tied down without using rope. Parents seem to be pretty good at that stuff.

"B-But... Mom, can't you trust me more? You've known me what, fourteen years?" Now I realize that was a stupid question. She was my MOTHER, for heaven's sake! Of course she'd known me for that long! "You actually think I'm going to let... Them... Get the better of me and head right up to a girl to--" At this moment, my mother chose to intervene with a very good choice of words, no matter how they came out.

"You do it, Ash, and I'll be sending you down the river faster than Moses." She ended with finality. It makes me wonder where she got enough stimuli to threaten me so well. She was so nice a woman, normally. I wonder what happened..?

I'd only just had the 'Big Boy' talk with my own mother... Why does she have to be so embarrassing?! I swear, if she comes onto me when I bring my friends over like she did about the whole 'Changing Underwear' thing, I'm gonna--

"--Well?" Uh, yeah, let's see. She probably wants to be sure I'm serious. Ask questions, show interest... Well, I have one. And I'd inquire her about it, except... I don't think that she'd comply if I asked If there was something big and heavy nearby, especially cause I'd have to explain that I wanted to beat my head against it a bit... But, that's beside the point.

"Um... Are you gonna tell me off about traveling with a girl, then?" I asked, then gripped the chair as her eyes widened upon realization. Oh, NOW I was smart enough to land myself in a horrible situation.

"Oh, dear goodness! You're right, Honey! How do you feel about Poke-Tech?" She asks me. Oh, I don't know... Maybe somewhere along the lines of puking a raging storm and attempted suicide. She doesn't even trust me enough to travel with them now!

She must have had major problems with the opposite sex when she was younger..! Oh, now I'm starting to talk like her.

But what if Misty comes back? Would she kick her out or something? I don't want Misty to get the wrong idea that my mother hates her! She must be in a mid-life crisis that mothers' have when their children turn fourteen.

But let's forget it. There's nothing else I want to discuss about it. After all...

...

By now it's just a memory. That's right. A week and a half later and 'Mommy's little boy' is on the road again with a Pikachu, an SS ticket to Hoenn, and a packet of travel-condoms... And you wonder why I started my journey in the first place..?

~*~*~

A/N: Okay, I know that was short, pointless, mediocre, and possibly confusing. But I wanted to try something with not so much romance and so this 'Mother-child' relationship fic came to mind. I'll try and write more like this but I'm not promising when the next one will be posted.

--Chibi ending transmission.