I once thought I was someone. I really believed I had a place on this planet. I came here to destroy it all those years back but he stood in my way. And I hated him for it. But now…
Through the years, I fell for someone, had children with someone else, and never voiced any feeling for who I truly loved apart from hate. I was too scared to find out what he thought. At one point I almost convinced myself I hated him… but after the fusion…I understood him so much better. I saw his past as if I was there. I know him better than any of his pathetic human friends do. But that doesn't change anything. I still feel like trash now, and that feeling will never go away because of what happened yesterday.
Kakarott rejected me.
I told him. I told him everything. How I felt, why I always shunned him, what changed it all, everything. And he just turned away.
My whole world collapsed in that one motion. And now I know I don't belong here. And so…I shouldn't hang around…
I can't believe what happened yesterday. The day started out so normal. But it ended in something that made me question my whole life and who I really am. I was so totally surprised buy this new discovery that for a while I don't think I was breathing. In one sentence, someone I've known for nearly half my life changed my views on all the people who are dearest to me. Bulma- her whole marriage, the happiest years of her life…it was all a lie. Trunks- his father now holds no regard for him. Chichi- …I question loving her at all now. And most of all… Vegeta.
He told me he loved me yesterday. Straight out of the blue. He spoke after that, but after hearing those three words…my mind went blank. My vision fuzzed up and I couldn't breathe. It was like figuring something out after spending your whole life searching for it.
But I still don't know whether I return the feeling. All I know is I hurt Vegeta. I turned away from him. I did it subconsciously. Looking back on it I could have hit myself for being so stupid. But there's nothing I can do about it now. Vegeta has suppressed his ki… and even if he hadn't…I couldn't have gone after him…I wouldn't know what to say…
Goku returned home after two days away. Chichi came bustling up looking livid.
"GOKU WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?!" Goku cringed slightly.
"Well that's not good enough! You could have at least called!"
"Well not many trees have telephones in them…"
"This is why you need a mobile!" she snapped, walking off in a temper. Goku rolled his eyes. But unlike when Chichi usually had a go at him, there was no trace of an understanding smile on his face.
'Why does she always treat me like I'm a small child?! Vegeta never does that. Ok…so he treats me like dirt, but that was all an act. Goku shook these thoughts away and walked straight back out of the door.
He spent the rest of the day outside in a tree. Chichi came out and had a rant at him, making several snappy remarks about him being like a monkey. Goku just huffed and said he was part monkey.
"What do you think an Oozaru is? A parrot?!" Goku snapped. After that, Chichi went inside looking hurt. Goku sighed. He just wasn't in the mood to be hassled like that. Not after what he had been told the day before.
Vegeta spent his time locked in a guest room. He had a pen and pad infront of him, and he was drawing up a list of everything he'd need to take with him if he wanted to travel off-planet.
He heard a clicking noise and recognised it as the phone. Bulma was making a call. He listened closely and identified the number as Goku's, then he cursed himself for being so obsessed with the earth raised Saiyan that he even new what noises a phone would make dialling his number. Curious, he picked up the receiver in the room to listen in on the conversation, if only to hear Goku's voice. He stopped.
'Is this how I'm going to live my life? Praying Kakarott will call the onna just so I can hear his voice? Wondering if he'll ever call around again so I can see his face? Well this ends here!' he put the receiver back down.
Within five seconds it was back in his hands.
"Son residence who is your call for?" The harpy's voice in a mock posh accent.
"Hi Chichi it's Bulma. I was wondering if I could talk to Goku. You see Vegeta came home after sparring with him in a right state and I want to ask Goku what happened. He hasn't been out of the guest room all day! He slept there last night!"
"Ha! At least he actually came home! I didn't see Goku at all yesterday! All I got was an 'I'm gonna spar with 'Geta now bye hon' in the morning and he didn't come back. Then he walks in this morning with a face that suggests he's died! He's in for two minutes then back out again! He's spent all day in a tree! And he got really snappy with me too!" Vegeta was shocked. Goku had never said a word against Chichi before, and he was never in a bad mood.
'Did I mess him up that much?'
"Oh…well can you try and get him on the phone?"
"I'll take it out to him. We have a wireless phone now!" There was some sad banter about phones while Chichi took the phone out. Vegeta's heart was racing.
'I'll get to hear him…'
"Goku, phone!" there was a scrambling and a loud thud.
"Chichi! Don't throw the phone!"
"Well I thought you were a good catcher!"
"Not when I'm thinking!" Vegeta heard Bulma giggling. Vegeta's heart was beating faster. "Yeah who is this?"
"It's Bulma. I was wondering if you know why Vegeta's in a bad mood." There was silence.
"Yes. Yes I do."
"…And the reason is?"
"I don't want to say. If you want to know then ask him. I don't want to say something I shouldn't." Vegeta's eyes drifted closed as tears ran down his cheeks. The tone Goku had used when saying that…it was flat…lifeless…
"Ok then Goku…is it something to do with you? I heard you're um…up a tree in a foul mood…"
"Yeah…I just needed some time to think and that damn screeching harpy wont give me a minute's peace."
"Goku! You sound like Vegeta!" Vegeta smiled sadly. Goku did sound like him…if only…he'd meant to.
"Sorry…wait…no I'm not. I'm fed up of being sorry for something I mean. She is a harpy! She never leaves me alone! I don't even know why I'm married to her!" to say Vegeta was shocked would be a giant understatement.
"Goku how can you speak like that about your wife?! What the hell did Vegeta say to you?!"
"Something that really cleared my mind. It made me see life differently."
'What does he mean by that?'
"Well don't listen to Vegeta! He's a psycho! If he had his way no one would like anyone else! And he doesn't even like you!" there was silence on the other end of the phone. Vegeta was silently praying Goku wouldn't tell her. Bulma was only downstairs. He'd never be able to show his face in public…
"Bulma…I'm going away for a while. I need to think. Mostly about what Vegeta said to me." Vegeta's heart stopped. "I…I don't know whether I should believe him or not because…it doesn't make sense at the moment… can you just tell him… I don't hate him for what he said…and can you ask him to stop suppressing his ki? I need to talk to him before I go."
"Goku I don't understand."
"Bulma…you're one of my oldest friends. Please, just trust me on this."
"…Alright Goku…I'll tell him for you."
"Thanks." The phone line went dead.
Vegeta's mind, along with his heart, was going a million miles an hour. 'He's going away? He's still thinking about what I said? He doesn't hate me! And he wants to see me…'
"Oi grumpy!" Vegeta jolted. The voice was coming from the other side of the door. "Goku wants to talk to you. He doesn't hate you." Bulma paused. "I don't know what you two are up to but I'm going to find out!" Vegeta wasn't really listening. He had opened the window and was flying to Goku's house before Bulma had even finished.