Summary: Kamiya Kaoru has just begun the second semester of her freshman year at Tokyo University. A struggling Engineering major, she finds herself stuck indoors manning the phone while her housemates are out working or shopping. It just so happens that when she calls her Sempai, Sekihara Tae, about a phone message she received, she accidentally dials the Goddess Relief Line. Lo and behold, Class One Goddess Kenshin – a mistake in titles that the bugs in Heaven have been generating – takes up her call and grants her one wish. And it just so happens to be a wish that would set Kamiya Kaoru's world upside down and inside out! [AU]
Warning: This story, though baring varying resemblance to the actual Aa, Megami Sama! is not the same (a mix of manga and anime). As you can see, having a male "Goddess" immediately puts a spin on things. It bares resemblance strongest in the first few chapters, but it will soon deviate. I have no intention of having the characters be OOC. Hence, I doubt this story will be too similar to the Aa, Megami Sama! since Kaoru is quite a bit more violent and faces a whole slew more problems than Morisato Keiichi (as she is a female student in a prestigious university and pursuing a male degree) and Kenshin have quite a lot more baggage than Belldandy (considering he is also male I can have so much more fun with this). And just to set the record straight, all angels, demons, and goddesses, will not have last names. Hence, Kenshin introduced himself as only Kenshin, as would future characters.
Aa, Megami-- Sama?
By Blue Jeans
"So, there were a couple of slight mix-ups. It's those bugs in the System, I swear!"
(Class Two Goddess)
Chapter 1: Wrong Number
"The water rippled in all directions.
The long strands of his hair flew
as the power gathered in his
palms. The image of a torii,
painted red for good luck, appeared.
He cupped it preciously between
his two hands and then a wish was
Kamiya Kaoru groaned as she flopped tiredly down onto the dormitory's living room floor. Dark black hair spread in all directions as she looked at the ceiling in great irritation. Blowing on her bangs, she rose when her stomach grumbled in equal irritation. "Stupid, stupid, stupid!" She muttered to herself angrily. Well, she couldn't eat her own cooking, especially since the girls ran out of ramen a day ago and no one had a chance to buy anything, much less, more ramen. Quite possibly, the only reason anyone could stomach even Kaoru's ramen was the fact that she could not poison water, though the stuff she put into her own bowl raised more than a few eye-brows. It really must have been a curse! Kaoru finally decided when her stomach continued to protest. Nothing short of a curse could have been the cause of the miserable situation she was into now.
"Shut up," she glared at her midsection threateningly when it broke the silence of the empty house once more. "You have been nothing but trouble all day!" A final, loud and long rumble set her mouth into a sheepish smile. "Ara," she rubbed her flat stomach in defeat. "I guess you really won't shut up till you're fed."
Her stomach grumbled again as if in agreement. Sighing in agitated annoyance, she scrounged around and brightened when her hand collided with a small, rectangular box. Pulling it out, she grinned as she triumphantly waved her prize in the air. "Pocky!" Jiggling it in one hand, she sighed in satisfaction to herself that it was not empty. Eagerly, she opened the box, dumping the last, precious sticks into her hands.
"M-I-S-A-O!" Kaoru roared in pure anger as the sharpened chopsticks landed into her hands, nearly knocking off a finger. Makimachi Misao's latest obsession in weaponry was hair products, ranging from poison in a bottle of hair-spray to hair ornaments, it made living in the house a lot more hazardous. Misao had developed a pension for hiding most of her stuff in the strangest of places. Ever since the head of the house, Sekihara Tae, had banned sharp weapons and poison from the interior of the dormitory, Misao had begun to get more and more creative on where she was to stash her ninja weaponries and goods, which leads to Kaoru's current predicament...
No food and Misao's weapons instead made the already agitated Kaoru more so.
Out of options after a fruitless once over of the house again, finally Kaoru plunked herself down to the telephone with a menu before her. She sighed as she opened her wallet and glanced at the small amount of yen remaining in her name. Groaning, she began to flip through the pages of her menu, hoping to locate one cheap delivery place. "If only the girls didn't force me to phone-sit again," Kaoru grumbled to herself. "My life would be so much easier if Tae wasn't so paranoid, but no, 'Kaoru Chan, you have to watch the phone!' she says. 'What if someone important calls?'" Kaoru failed miserably in mimicking her friend while pinching her nose before finally picking up the phone when her eyes landed on a particularly cheap place. "Doesn't leave me with anything to eat—"
The ringer paused, "We're sorry, but we're not currently opened."
Rolling her eyes, "Not opened, it's broad daylight out and they're not opened?" Kaoru flipped to another number for another place. "Moshi moshi," she tapped her fingers against the tatami mat impatiently. "Yes, delivery," blue eyes narrowed as she frowned. "Not delivering? B-but, can't you make an exception? You see I'm currently at my dorm and--" Kaoru blinked at her phone in surprise, "They put me on hold!" She exclaimed in disbelief.
Ten phone calls later, Kaoru finally made the wise decision that yes, she was most definitely cursed by the black plague of hunger and bad restaurants (delivery offered or not). "I can't believe this!" Blue eyes stared at her phone in stunned disbelief. Her stomach seems to agree and added its own loud, opinionated grumble of protest. Sighing in defeat, Kaoru set down the phone on the hook and leaned heavily against the wall of the living room. "This really sucks," she muttered to herself.
Just then, the phone rang. Surprised, Kaoru picked it up immediately. "Moshi moshi, Maikyo Resident Hall, who's calling please? …No, she's not in, would you like to leave a message?" Kaoru hurriedly scrounged up a pencil and began to scribble on the back of the list of useless restaurants she had been calling earlier. "Uh-huh, I see, I'll let her know immediately sir. Bye!"
Kaoru's expression changed into one of annoyance as she set down the phone. "I can't believe Tae Sempai can't just stay and get it herself, or get an answering machine like everyone else. Sheesh, at least she could tell these people to call after her working hours." Hmph-ing, Kaoru blew at her bangs before picking up the receiver again and dialing Tae's work place. Frowning, Kaoru tapped her fingers against the tatami mats beneath her, hoping she'd have more luck with the call this time now that it was no longer food she was calling for.
"Moshi moshi," a friendly voice chirped over the phone. "You have reached the Goddess Relief Line, Kenshin speaking. Please hold while we prepare to service your call." Kaoru blinked at the response in surprise, but she was put on-hold before a protest could be voiced.
"Eh?" Kaoru looked at her receiver in surprise. "I was sure I dialed Tae Sempai's work place."
"Good evening," Kaoru froze in an instant at the voice next to her head. "What is your desire?"
With a shriek, Kaoru found herself on the other side of the room, Misao's chopsticks in hand as she stared wide-eyed at a beautiful young man with strange symbols on his forehead and half of his body sticking out of what was once a mirror. "W-what— I mean, w-who are you?" Kaoru gapped at the young man in shock and near fainted when she saw half his body was the wall.
"Forgive me for not introducing myself." Kenshin smiled obliviously, "My name is Kenshin, Kamiya Kaoru Dono," he told her with a large, friendly grin on his face as he exited the rest of the way out of the wall and then gently floated to the ground. "And I am here to grant you your one wish." He repeated to her once more, patience and serenity written in every movement he made. And then he proceeded to hand her a small, rectangular card with his name on it.
Kaoru blinked at him a few times, a Goddess-man with a business card? Kaoru couldn't help but stare as a skeptical expression crept over her face. Kenshin, though, continued on without missing a beat. "We specialize in helping people with problems, like you." Kaoru felt a nerve twitch under her eye at this, "We received a system access request from you by telephone."
"H-help?" Kaoru twitched a bit more in agitation, "What kind of help do you mean?"
"Why, I'm going to help you out by granting you one wish!" Kenshin clapped his hands together excitedly, "But I must warn you, there is only one wish."
"A wish?" Kaoru asked dumbly, "For anything?"
"Yes," Kenshin grinned. "If you wanted to be a billionaire, or if you wanted to take over the world, we can grant you any wishes of that range. However, we prefer to stay away from customers who may wish to take over the world, though." Kenshin held a finger to his chin as a perplexed look crossed over his features. Smiling again, he clapped his hands together again, "So, go ahead and ask for anything you'd like."
"Alright, let me get this straight," Kaoru rose, still weary of the fact a strange man was in her living room. Granted, he was very good looking, to the point one could call him beautiful, but he still appeared out of nowhere. Kaoru frowned a little, trying to remember if she locked the front door, which she was sure she did after she said goodbye to everyone that morning. "You're here to grant me a wish from, where are you from again? A Goddess Relief Line, is it?" Kenshin nodded eagerly in reply. Kaoru pinched herself to make sure she wasn't dreaming the whole thing up. "Why me?" Kaoru could think of at least a dozen more hopeless people in the world who probably would needed these types of deals more than she, herself.
Smiling, Kenshin rubbed his head in slight confusion at her question. "You qualified." He answered simply. Kaoru blinked at him, a million more questions popping into her head. She was certain Sakihara Tae, in all her scheming, had finally out-done herself this time. "I understand that you might be confused that I am not a female goddess. Males don't usually get this position of Goddess-hood, but you see, the title is only a small mix-up and the upgrade hasn't yet compensated for the changes in employment."
Kaoru rolled her eyes in exasperation at the excessively technical explanation that Kenshin gave her in his misguided assumption to her own confusion. "No, of course not. Goddesses don't tend to be females, after all!" Not that Kenshin's explanation made much sense to begin with.
Kenshin cocked his head slightly in puzzlement, "Yes, they do tend to be females, Kaoru Dono." Kaoru blinked at him in surprise as he missed her obvious sarcasm. "No one wants to call himself after the Almighty One, after all. So, you see the dilemma of making it a position available for males. They're still working out a lot of the bugs in the program since the upgrade, so if you're confused, sorry for the inconvenience." Kenshin became even more serious as he looked to her, "Not to push you, but you still have a wish to make, Kaoru Dono."
"A-anything?" She asked again. Kenshin eagerly nodded again in agreement, this has got to be a joke. Tae Sempai must have sent him over knowing I have such bad-luck with the male species! Ah, this is too cruel, even for Tae Sempai's obsessive, matchmaker tendencies! Kaoru rubbed her hair in frustration as her thoughts went around in errant circles.
"You're not dreaming and this is not a joke, Kaoru-dono." Kaoru near jumped again, though she felt that her eyes were about to bug out of her head. "As a Goddess, I am incapable of lying. Anyway, why do you say that you never have good fortune with men?"
It was Kaoru's turn to blink at him in surprise now, though she blushed at his clueless inquiry. Did he just read my mind or did I say that just now, out loud? Kaoru shrugged, a little freaked out by this practical joke and instead, focused on how honest she was going to be with this Kenshin's questions. However, thought progress has been going against her this day and she finally gave in to the blank, clueless look she was seeing written all over Kenshin's face. Telling him won't make much of a difference and she's always been a pretty good judge of character. Kenshin seemed to be a kind man, even if his agreement with Tae seemed quite far fetched at best. Slowly she stood and walked over to Kenshin, "No one wants to date me, Kenshin," she sighed though her face soon became determined. "Tae Sempai's been trying to set me up for months, but nothing really works." She looked away uncomfortably. Tae had been but one on her list of many who have tried to play matchmaker with her hopeless case, but Kaoru had yet seen anyone so determined as Tae when it came to such things, or as devious.
She twirled once around in front of him before setting her hands on her hips expectantly, "Haven't you noticed?" She asked, "I am a 100 percent tomboy. At my age, such a status is no longer considered cute or even appropriate." Kaoru explained when Kenshin continued to look at her with his perplexed and confused expression in response to her earlier demonstrations. "No man I've met wants to date a tomboy, much less call her his girlfriend. This is especially true if she's smarter, stronger, and better than he would be in most everything." Kaoru boasted but ended up shaking her head in disappointment at her own words. "Guess all the men I've met up to now just couldn't handle me!" Kaoru winked playfully, though Kenshin could see how much her lack of femininity and lack of seeming attraction really bothered her at this moment.
"I'm sorry, I really don't understand." Kenshin rubbed his head in confusion, much to Kaoru's wide-eyed astonishment. Man, where did Tae Sempai come up with this guy? Kaoru wondered.
Kaoru put a finger to chin, wondering if she should play along. Tae had been kind to her, though a bit on the pushy side when it came to getting her a date. Kaoru wondered what the harm in playing along would do. "Alright," Kaoru said after a considerable amount time and thought was put into her current situation (well as much as she was able to cram into the minutes that ticked by in silence). "I have a wish, Kenshin San. And my wish is for a goddess—male goddess— or whatever you are— well, someone just like you, to be by my side forever." Kenshin blinked at her in surprise, then. Kaoru waited for someone to jump out at her and yell "Surprise!" But no one came. "Heh," she laughed a little self-consciously. "How's that for a crazy wish, huh?" She giggled a bit more, "No good huh? Well, I guessed as much," Kaoru sighed in defeat as she waved her hand at the rigid Kenshin dismissively.
Suddenly, the symbol on Kenshin's began to glow and then a bright beam shot through the roof and a rumble like thunder shook the house. Kaoru gapped, "Wa-wait a minute here! I-I was just kidding--!" But everything went white, blinding Kaoru from seeing anything for quite sometime, even after the light had faded and she found herself once more on her behind. Kenshin, by that time was on the phone with someone, looking slightly perplexed. It was probably Tae on the other end, Kaoru thought to herself. Kenshin's probably confirming with my scheming friend the worst of my wishes.
"A-accepted?" Kaoru heard him squeak in surprise. "A-Alright, I understand." Sighing, Kenshin placed the receiver back on the hook again before glancing over at her with a slightly rueful smile on his lips. "You're wish has been accepted, Kaoru Dono. I shall be by your side, from this moment onwards." Kaoru noticed how he didn't seem exceptionally thrilled at the news. Not that she was rejoicing either, Kaoru grumped.
Kaoru widened her eyes in surprise at the news nonetheless, laughter bubbling on her lips already in response to his silly reply. Of course, this Kenshin guy must be joking. "You can't be serious!" There, before her was Kenshin, standing in the middle of her living room dressed in traditional, male garments of someone from ancient Japan. He looked as out of place as she had seen anyone been, and Kaoru's seen her share of strangeness.
"As I explained before, Kaoru Dono, I am quite serious." Kenshin nodded to her solemnly. "The Almighty just confirmed that the contracts already entered into the system, so it's too late to change it now."
"B-but, can't you cancel it or something?" Kaoru demanded.
"I'm afraid not," Kenshin sighed. "Once a wish has been filed, there is no turning back. Making a wish come true takes a tremendous amount of force. Once it's filed no one will be able to resist it." Kenshin smiled at Kaoru's confused expression. "I have very little power on my own, Kaoru-dono. I'm like an antenna for a television that receive signals. On my own, I can't do too much. I just file the wishes people have and the Almighty does the rest. But my job as the "antenna" is over now. From this moment on I'll be with you just like you wished, forever." Kenshin thought for a moment, "So, you don't have to worry anymore, Kaoru Dono." He surprised her as he shyly smiled at her from behind his bangs. Kaoru would not have expected those words that came out of his mouth or the expression he wore at that moment anymore than if he had just suddenly decided to proclaim his undying love for her or something strange like that. "The System Force will make sure we're together, always, from now on. The force will do anything to make sure of that."
Kaoru waved away his answer, "You're right," her mind going on a completely different track after she had regained her senses. "I don't have anything to worry about. It's not like I can keep you even if I wanted to," Kaoru laughed nervously, though slightly perplexed by Kenshin's answer. "This is a 'No Men Allowed' dorm, Kenshin. So you can't stay, and it doesn't matter who's pulling the strings here, it's not arguable. Even Tae Sempai can't change what we agreed on in the beginning of this semester." With a toss of her hair and a nod of her head, Kaoru settled down once more.
"Oh, don't worry about that Kaoru Dono," he grinned, "I'm a Goddess, not a man." Kaoru twitched slightly at this. Before she could anything else though, a fearful look came over her entire face as the front door of the house was heard to be slammed open and a gurgle of female voices was heard roaring up the staircase. "Are you okay, Kaoru Dono?" Kenshin asked surprised as he set his hands gently on her shoulder.
"You can't be here!" Kaoru hissed as she glanced frantically around for an exit. "This- this is a 'No Men Allowed' house, and you— Goddess or not, you are definitely still male! And you cannot be here!" Kaoru repeated more frantically then before as she shot up on her feet, frantically looking for an exit to shove Kenshin out of or a closest or rug to hide him in or under.
Kenshin didn't look afraid or startled at the turn of events. "Don't worry, Kaoru Dono, as I had already explained: the System Force will make sure that nothing and no one will separate us." He nodded in agreement to what he had said before standing next to Kaoru's frantic form and setting his steady hands on her unsteady shoulders. "No one will separate us, Kaoru Dono. Your contract will be placed above all else and the System Force will prevent anything that will keep us apart."
"That's not what I'm worried about—" Kaoru begun but the voices of her housemates cut her off. Though, Kaoru wasn't quite sure what Kenshin had meant by System Force, and contract.
"Kaoru Chan, we brought back food!"
"Kaoru Chan, we're home!"
"Kaoru Chan, was there any phone calls for—" Sekihara Tae paused as the shoji door gave a resounding snap and they came face to face with Kaoru and a most beautiful man standing before her, his face very close to Kaoru's own. Kamiya Kaoru had never blushed as hard in her life as she did that day when her housemates caught her red-handed with Kenshin in a most questionable position. "—me?" Tae breathed out the last of her question in surprise. "Kaoru Chan?"
"Um, Sempai, I can explain?" Kaoru began desperately and from the corner of her eyes she saw the tell-tale signs of a satisfied smile gracing Kenshin's face. But before Kaoru could even begin to express her whirlwind of emotions, Tae began to speak.
"Kaoru Chan," Sekihara Tae seemed quite happy even as she crossed her arms over her chest in disapproval. The older woman's usually serene face suddenly became more scary than welcoming. "You didn't tell me you met someone." In that moment Kaoru knew that System Force and contracts be damned, Sekihara Tae was scarier than the Devil himself when she had that matchmaker look on her face. "But you know the rules, Kaoru Chan." Kaoru was already crossing Tae's name from her suspect list of enlisting Kenshin into this whole deal. No way had Tae done it if she had that set-up look in her eyes. No, this had Takani Megumi's scent of sabotage all over it!
"What have we talked about before on having boys in the house?" Tae continued with a raised eye-brow.
Kaoru gulped nervously as she faced her friend and sempai, "They're not allowed?"
Tae beamed while nodding in agreement, "Exactly," a serious look settled over Tae's face, though a hint of regret lined her Sempai's mouth. "And we all know what the consequences are for breaking that particular rule, don't we, Kaoru Chan?"
Kaoru could say nothing as she stared wide-eyed at her fellow housemates, all displaying varying degrees of amusement. "H-hai," Kaoru sighed in defeat, shoulders slumped as she felt the fight go out of her.
And then, all hell broke loose as Tae nodded her head. Clothing, hair dryers, blankets, and all assortments of Kaoru's belongings were thrown into boxes that magically popped out from nowhere. Girls rushed to and fro as Kaoru stood helplessly with her mouth hanging open in total surprise. "We'll send the rest of your stuff to you when you find a new place," one of the girls told Kaoru helpfully as she was carried down the stairs with Kenshin. Before long, she and Kenshin found themselves standing outside with the door closed firmly in their faces after they were physically pushed out the door by surprisingly strong women. Only then was Kaoru able to let out a squeak of surprise as comprehension finally caught up with her thought process.
"I can't believe it!" Kaoru exclaimed as she planted her hands on her hips in annoyance. "They didn't even give me a chance to explain, or put on my shoes!" Kaoru fumed as her running shoes hung around her neck, where Amakusa Sayo had cheerfully placed it but a few moments before. She glanced at the sheepish Kenshin next to her with great reluctance since the whole thing was his fault. "Well, there can't be a worse time for this since the sidecar of my bike is broken." Kaoru groused.
Kenshin rubbed his head with a sheepish and guilty smile, "Sorry, Kaoru Dono, it can't be helped. That's how the System Force works when something, or someone, tries to pull us apart."
Kaoru opened her mouth to retort that she could care less how the System Force worked when it kicked her out of the only place she had to stay in. But Kaoru's rant was nipped at the bud as Tae stuck her head out of the window at that exact moment. "In case you're wondering, Kaoru Chan, I fixed your bike's sidecar." Kaoru blinked at her Sempai in surprise, "No need to thank me," Tae put her hand to her mouth with a sly look in her eyes, "Who'd have thought it would be so handy, eh? Good taste, Kaoru Chan! He's very cute!" And though Kaoru did try to say something else, Tae closed the window before any more words could be exchanged.
"Oh! " Kaoru threw her hands up in defeat. "I guess it's just the two of us, now." Kaoru sat down and angrily to put on her shoes before she walked over to her bike and shoved into Kenshin's hands her spare helmet. With all that had happened, Kaoru couldn't help but wonder if this System Force was indeed setting everything up as Kenshin have been claiming, though that would imply that she would have to accept him as a "Goddess" – whatever he was. Still, she stole a glance at the smiling Kenshin who settled himself comfortably in the seat next to her own and had to admit that he looked inhumanly good. She also wondered where this chance meeting will lead her to, now that she was homeless that is. Setting the helmet on her head firmly, Kaoru prepared herself the best she could for wherever the path may lead her to now. With determination and Kenshin as her only guides down this new and lonely road, Kaoru sure hoped that she didn't get too lost along the way.
Chapter 2: Into the Lair of the Pirate Otaku Kenshin beware! Girls don't seem to be the only ones who changes just for you! Oh no, Kenshin, don't let yourself get taken advantage of—! Kaoru sure can be scary when she's mad!
English-Japanese "What the hell did you mean by that?!" Translations:
Hai – "Yes" (I had to put it in. I could just hear Kaoru Dono whimpering that part out! [Evil authoress cackles in the background]
Moshi Moshi – There's really no translation to this. It's just a greeting of sorts that people uses when answering the phone.
Author's End Notes: When this story first popped into my head, I decided to just rush ahead of myself and amazingly, I did three chapters in one sitting without much of a thought of the future. That was how excited I was with this story line. I thought it was perfect, but I neglected to do the research necessary for it (on the assumption that I own and have watched the all episodes of the Ah, My Goddess! the anime, quite a few times, mind you.) However, looking back, I really want to smack myself on the forehead for being such an imbecile. It was just my luck that my computer also decided to crash on me and I lost the two chapters I did not post (luckily, or perhaps unluckily) at the time I already posted the first chapter of this story on ff.net. Finals and projects and interviews came and I didn't have the energy, patience, or time to rewrite the stuff. But I've started to do the "research" part of my fanfiction writing for RK and boy, the wealth of ideas have sprung open again.
There's a few changes I want you to note in this chapter. First off, the second chapter has completely changed (and so has its introduction). And second of, Kenshin no longer have a scar on his cheek. I took that out, completely. "Why?" You ask. It's my decision and I'm sticking with it. It also coincides with chapter two, and I have things to plan in the future and the lack of a scar aids me in my cause. (Watsuki Sempai commented that when he drew Kenshin, the poor red-head turned up looking like a girl and the only way he was made into a male was by his flat chest, clothing, and his scar!) These are the two important things I've changed in this chapter (summary for the next chapter and taking out Kenshin's scar). I also went over it a couple of times, so I'm pretty certain any major spelling or grammatical errors have been taken out and the entire chapter flows far more smoothly than before. Thank you for your patience with me! I hope you enjoy this ride!