"Waiting"
by Sara Jaye

Another 15-minute challenge fic, and my second Kanon fic. ^_^
Nothing much here except for Shiori angsting...it's based on episode 9 of
the anime, so there are spoilers. Just an advance warning. :3

[Kanon belongs to Toei Douga, I'm just borrowing the characters for
a while.]

~

Why did you leave me?

It seems like just yesterday we were so happy, as close as two sisters
could be.

What happened?

I guess it was my fault. After I broke down like that when you gave me the
news...that I didn't have more than a year left to live...

You probably hated me for crying and being so distraught. After you'd told
me over and over again to be strong and optimistic, that being sad wouldn't
solve anything. After all that, I had the nerve to cry!

The day after that, you stopped coming to visit me. Even when I eventually
was well enough to come home and only need to go to the hospital for tests
every other day, you didn't acknowledge my existence.

You told people you didn't have a sister.

Why, Kaori? I know you were angry with me for crying, but why did you have
to disown me like this?!

I always thought I could get through anything with you by my side. You were
the reason I wanted to live so badly. You!

Before, I had my good and my bad days. On the bad days, the physical pain
was almost unbearable, sometimes so bad I almost wanted to die. But the
next day I'd be feeling better thanks to painkillers and a good night's
sleep.

The pain of being abandoned by the person I love more than anything in the
world...it's a string of bad days that never ends. No matter how good I'm
feeling physically...what good is it?

At one point, it hurt so badly I really did want to die. What was the point
of living if I was nothing but a burden to you? I didn't have any other
friends, our parents were always so busy working...why bother living?

One day, I planned to end it. I bought a pen knife and planned to slit my
wrists that night.

But on my way home, I bumped into someone. Actually, two someones. An
energetic, childish girl and a kind, serious boy. He asked me if I was all
right and scolded the girl for causing them to bump into me...they started
arguing, and I couldn't help laughing.

That night, I thought about them again and laughed harder than I had in a
long time. Then I looked at the blade I'd been planning to end my life
with...

And I cried. Suddenly, the thought of leaving this world made me so sad. I
wasn't ready...I wanted to stay for as long as I possibly could!

I'd thought I'd never be happy again after you abandoned me. But if I could
laugh at something as simple as a boy and a girl arguing...maybe there was
hope that eventually we'd be sisters again.

I still don't understand why you did what you did. But as long as the sun
rises in the morning and flowers bloom every spring, I'll wait for you. One
day, you will come back and embrace me as your sister again.

Someday.

~End~

ANGST! XD Poor Shiori... ;_; Even if she wasn't especially angsty
in the actual episode, I can see her feeling pretty low after Kaori started
pretending like she didn't exist. Their story was heart-wrenching, but
pretty interesting too. A lot of potential for angsty fics and analytical
essays in there. :3 Especially considering how emotional their reunion was.
Conflicting emotions and all. ^_^