Eh. I forgot this the first time.
~*Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN INUYASHA!
This oneshot is rated PG-13 for a bit of language and situations dealing with suicide.
"…" - are speech
'…' - are thoughts
~*~*~ - a change in scenery or time
It had begun with the death of jii-chan.
The elderly man had been sweeping along the tall steps of the Higurashi Jinja when Buyo had suddenly ran across his path. The obese family neko had knocked the old man off balance, and he had fallen down the set of extremely long stairs. The calico coloured cat had been dragged along with him to the hard ground below.
Buyo had been dead upon impact.
The elder Higurashi had been rushed to the hospital. He hadn't survived the fall. He had been pronounced dead at the hospital.
Kagome hadn't known until five days after his death because of another extended shard hunt. When she had arrived home, eager for a hot bath, she had found her mother and little brother crying.
Jii-chan had been nowhere in sight.
Once they had finished telling her that her grandfather and her cat were no longer among the living, Kagome had been shell-shocked. She had walked stiffly to her bedroom, and had sat down on her bed with an eerie calm.
It wasn't until the next day that the information had really hit home.
She had locked herself up in her room, refusing to come out, even for dinner. Later, her remaining family had coaxed her out of her cage, and they had grieved together.
Yet another part of Kagome's family and been taken away.
When Inuyasha had come to fetch her three days after she'd left, she had told him. Her friends in the past had been understanding, and knowing they shared a similar pain, Kagome gradually recovered.
She wasn't the same perky, not-a-care-in-the-world free spirited girl she had been, but she was older, and more knowledgeable. After the burial of jii-chan, she threw herself more into her business in the past, trying to erase the feeling of pain.
She had been dealing with the suffering of losing another family member when a fresh blow had been delivered.
Fate was cruel to Higurashi Kagome.
When Higurashi-san had been crossing the road with Souta in the evening, there had been a drunk driver. The driver had consumed unhealthy amounts of alcohol, and had practically fallen asleep at the wheel.
They'd never seen him coming.
All three had been killed in the crash.
Souta had died from a snapped neck.
Kagome's mother from having both lungs crushed.
The drunk driver from a heart attack.
Kagome had found out from a phone call only hours after the incident.
Inuyasha had been with her when she had broken down. He had been there to comfort her.
And then she discovered that the Japanese government was going to be taking her home away. She would be sent to an orphanage with as many things as she could carry. She would be taken away from her home where she had grown up.
The hanyou, upon hearing this news, had immediately ordered her to pack her things, and had whisked her away to the past.
He'd destroyed the bone eaters well soon after they had arrived in Sengoku Jidai.
She would never again travel to the modern era.
The girl, once again, with the support of her friends, began the road to recovery.
But she was never the same again.
She never had the same, wholesome happiness that used to radiate off her in waves.
Her eyes had lost some of their lustre.
Her smiles were emptier than before.
She still put her best effort in the shard hunt, but it more of an attempt to cover the raw pain, than to finish the quest more quickly.
She was beginning to question her own existence.
Her life was spiralling downwards into a black hole of despair.
~*Several Months Later*~
Kagome stared at her reflection on the dark surface of a small lake. The full moon's reflection shimmered before her.
They had done it.
Naraku was dead, and the Shikon no Tama was complete.
She had thought about suicide long before this moment, but the purpose of her search for the Shikon no Kakera had always driven her on.
But now that that purpose had been fulfilled, there was no longer a reason for her to live on.
And there was no one to stop her from taking her life right there.
A bitter smile crossed her face.
A smile void of any happiness.
Sango and Miroku had journeyed to her old exterminator village to visit it and to pay their final respects. The shard-hunting group had decided to split up for a while before joining up at Kaede's village again. Sesshoumaru's Tenseiga had revived Kohaku after Naraku had been defeated, and the hostility between the inu brothers had been resolved. Rin, the little girl had gone with them. They no longer needed Kagome.
Shippou was currently with Sango and Miroku visiting the exterminator's village, and would soon be returning with the others. He was growing up.
He was with Kikyou.
She knew because she had sensed her cold aura and had spotted the smooth glide of her Shimidamu-chuu [sp?]. She knew that Kikyou was here to take Inuyasha into hell.
There was nothing holding her back.
Her family was dead- they would be waiting for her on the other side.
Tears pooled in her eyes as the overwhelming anguish finally took over her.
Her life meant nothing.
In a matter of a month, all of her family had been taken away along with her home.
Her friends no longer needed her.
Her purpose to the shard-hunting group had been fulfilled.
And the one boy she had ever loved was going to hell with her dead previous incarnation.
Giving a strangled cry, Kagome doubled over in an effort to deal with the pain in her chest. It hurt so much! Her black hair fell over her shoulders and formed a curtain around her pale face. Her blue eyes were squeezed closed with a few sparkling tears leaking out. Her teeth were gritted so tightly that her jaw was beginning to ache.
Nails dug into her arms and Kagome welcomed the pain. It distracted her from her emotional anguish.
Breathing heavily, the girl opened her eyes.
They fell upon the lake.
How easy would it be, to just fall in that water and fade away from the living world?
How easy would it be, to end this pitiful excuse for a life she had?
How easy would it be, to leave behind all of her pain, her heartbreak, her past and to journey into the sweet cold embrace of death?
She stood up.
And step by step, the broken Higurashi Kagome walked deeper into the cold waters of the lake.
Inuyasha cautiously approached the silent figure of his dead lover. He studied her silently.
Her soul stealing youkai flew about her in a swarm. Her ebony black hair was tied in its usual style with two locks falling gracefully about her shoulders. Her dead steel grey eyes held no emotion. Even from here, Inuyasha could smell the sickening stench of decay from Kikyou's body.
"I'm not going with you."
The woman turned to him wordlessly and studied him.
"And why is that, Inuyasha?"
The hanyou crossed his arms.
"None of your damn concern."
"It is because of my reincarnation, is it?"
She slowly approached him and Inuyasha had to force himself not to bolt. He made himself to look into her eyes and was startled to find an underlying layer of sadness.
She smiled ruefully.
"That girl has changed you in ways I never could. She has melted the ice around your heart, and healed the pain contained within there. She has healed your soul. And you love her."
Inuyasha gaped at the miko.
She raised a hand.
"I understand Inuyasha. From the first day I saw you after I had been 'reborn'," She gave a humourless laugh. "I had seen that you had changed. You were no longer the cold ruthless hanyou I had wanted to change so many years ago. You have moved on." Kikyou sighed and looked away. "I release you from your promise. I understand now."
Inuyasha looked at her solemnly.
"You're right. Kagome has helped me, and now, I have to help her. I have to protect her."
Kikyou turned to face him again.
"She has faced many hardships?"
One of her youkai suddenly flew to her, and in words Inuyasha could not decipher, it communicated to its mistress. Kikyou frowned, and turned her attention back to the hanyou.
"If you wish to help the girl, you will have to travel quickly. Or else there will no longer be a girl to protect. Her sorrow has finally broken her. The black hole of despair threatens to consume her now even more than before. Go now, Inuyasha, if you wish to save that girl, my reincarnation, that… Kagome. My soul snatcher will guide you."
Inuyasha stared at Kikyou blankly before noticing that one of the snake-like youkai was waiting for him. With a lingering glance at the dead priestess, he took off after the flying snake, trusting the woman's words. The more he followed the youkai, the closer a black cloud seemed to hover over the edge of his heart, and he knew that something was happening to Kagome.
He ran at full speed, fairly flying through the forest, thoughts pushing through his head before one emerged out of the mess.
'Don't be hurt, Kagome!'
Kagome was up to her neck in freezing cold water.
At the tip of her toes was a deep reverie at the bottom of the small lake.
If she took just one more step, she wouldn't be able to stand. Her clothes would drag her down to the bottom of the lake and she would drown to death. Vaguely, the girl wondered if her remains would be found in the era she was born in, or if her bones would have dissolved long before then.
Shaking her head of all thoughts, Kagome closed her eyes, and with the ghost of a smile, took a step forward into the welcoming darkness.
As she sunk, she could almost hear somebody call her name. Somebody who sounded a lot like Inuyasha. The girl opened her eyes one last time to see a glint of amber. Her breath drew in nothing but water.
Then all turned black.
Inuyasha had followed the Shimidamu-chuu to the edge of a lake, and had seen nothing out of the ordinary. Then, the sweet scent of Kagome reached his nose, but something was horribly wrong. His nose twitched, and his ears swivelled. Her scent was dredged in sorrow, and the stinging saltiness of tears still stained the air. Her scent path lead towards the edge of the lake.
Looking around desperately, the ache in his heart grew. Then, almost in the centre of the pond, his sharp eyes caught a series of ripples. His heart stopped for a second, then started beating at a furious speed. With speed that was unnatural, even to him, he jumped into the water and swam recklessly to the girl who was steadily sinking.
Diving down deep, Inuyasha grasped around blindly for something, anything. There was nothing. He surfaced briefly for air before plunging into the lake again. Then, his fingers brushed a soft fabric, and he swiped at the area. Grabbing a fistful of clothing, Inuyasha kicked desperately towards the surface of the water, dragging a heavy weight with him.
When it felt as though his lungs would burst, the hanyou finally broke the surface of the water and began thrashing towards land.
Once he got to the edge of the lake, he laid out Kagome onto the dry ground.
His breath caught sharply.
In the light of the full moon, the girl was deathly pale, and wasn't breathing. The moonlight made her look otherworldly. He listened carefully, but there was no heartbeat.
He nudged her.
"Wench! Wake up!"
Still no response.
"You can't leave me! Not now!"
His cries were desperate, and tears started to fill his eyes for the second time in years. A whimper escaped him. Inuyasha shook the girl roughly. Then, a sudden idea popped into his head from a first aid course Kagome had given all of the shard hunters from what seemed to be a long time ago.
Determined, he positioned his hand on the area below her ribcage and started pumping. Every three seconds, he would breathe into her mouth, just like he had been taught. Even as the minutes trickled away, the hanyou did not give up. He continued administrating CPR to his love.
[I could end it here…]
Kagome was running, but to what, she didn't know. She couldn't remember anything. Her name, her past, nothing. She was in a black expanse that stretched on for an eternity.
Eternity. Was there time in this place?
For some reason, she felt as though she was running away from something, but what, she couldn't remember.
Suddenly, there was a small speck of light at the end of the tunnel. The speck was growing steadily larger, and Kagome ran with redoubled efforts towards it. A voice permeated through the thick haze and reached her ears.
"Come on, Kagome! You can't leave me! Please? Come back to me…!"
Was she Kagome? The voice was so desperate and the girl felt a tug at her heart at the pain laced within it.
She wanted to reach the voice
She wanted to reach that warm light.
She wanted to remember who she was. But a sharp pain in her heart made her pause. Did she really want to know what had happened? What if she had died because of a terrible reason?
But that familiar voice called out again, and Kagome knew that she would do anything to reach him.
Whoever he was.
The light was so close, but she was getting tired. It would be so much easier if she could just sit here and rest for a while, but even as she slowed down, the light began to shrink slowly. The calls began to fade into indistinguishable sobs. With renewed vigour, Kagome gave a last spurt of speed and sighed in elation as she touched it.
She was bathed in warmth from that sparkling light.
There was a silent explosion, and her vision became filled with white.
Inuyasha had nearly given up hope. It had been several minutes, and still there had been no sign of life. He was about to stop. He had been prepared to use the rusty blade of Tetsusaiga on himself to join her when she had coughed.
Hope surging through his entire being, Inuyasha kept on pumping, however with less powerful strokes. Soon, the girl rolled over, and started to cough violently, Water spilled out of Kagome's mouth onto the dirt. As soon as she had stopped hacking, Inuyasha pulled her into a tight embrace and hugged her firmly.
Her voice was weak and faint.
"I-Inuyasha? What are you doing here?"
Anger rushed through him at the thought that she had tried to take her own life. He pulled away slightly.
"You stupid girl! What made you go and try to do something as STUPID as trying to commit SUICIDE?!"
Realisation coursed through Kagome head, and she answered dully.
"I wasn't needed anymore." She, in turn, became angry herself. "Why did you stop me?! I could have found peace!" Tears burned at her eyes. "I don't want to go on! What's the point? Nobody needs me…"
The golden eyed boy once again crushed a startled Kagome to himself and drew in her scent.
"I need you, baka."
She was shocked, but got over it quickly.
"No you don't. You're going to hell with Kikyou. I'll be alone anyway. Might as well go somewhere I can rest for the rest of eternity."
"No. I'm not going to hell. Kikyou… she's released me. I'm going to stay here and make sure you never try anything as STUPID as that again! Do you hear me, bitch?!" his voice had gradually grown in volume. "I never want you to think you're not needed again! Shippou needs his surrogate mother! Sango needs her best friend! Miroku… well… Miroku needs a female friend who he knows not to grope!"
Kagome felt better at these revelations, and her bleeding heart began to close over.
"But mama… Souta… Jii-chan…"
Inuyasha nuzzled the girl in his arms.
"Do you really think your family would have wanted you to try and kill yourself? They're with your dad, my oyaji and ofukuro, and all of our other loved ones who have passed on. They'd all want you to live life to the fullest."
Kagome rested her head on his chest.
"But it hurts so much…"
Inuyasha pulled her into his lap as he sat down.
"Then we'll all be here to help you recover. I'll be here. Always."
Kagome smiled a true smile as she slowly drifted off to sleep.
She may have been scarred emotionally, but with Inuyasha and her friends' help, she would be able to pull through.
She knew it.
Jii-chan - grandfather
Neko - cat
Jinja - shrine
Higurashi-san - Mrs Higurashi (depends on context)
Sengoku Jidai - Warring States Era
Miko - priestess
Shimidamu-chuu - soul catcher [not sure if that's the exact spelling…]
Oyaji - colloquial (rude) way for "father" like, 'old man'
Ofukuro - colloquial way for "mother"
[Okay. Sorry about killing off Kagome's family AND sealing the well, but I wanted to write a story where Kagome would become depressed to the point of committing suicide. And since she's a naturally happy girl who doesn't let anything get her down, it would have taken A LOT to get her to that stage. You could say I got the idea from personal experience. Although my friend didn't try to kill herself, she was in a pretty deep emotional hole. Don't worry. She's recovered.]