Title: Easter hunt
Rating: PG-13 (language)
Summary: Sirius in a giant bunny suit? The school's a raging mob? And what's this an Easter hunt? I have a feeling this hunt isn't for chocolate. (I suck at summaries)
Disclaimer: At one point in the story there's the following quote: "The truth? The truth? You can't handle the truth! No, truth handler are you! Bah! I deride your truth-handling abilities!" I toke it from a web site or something, can't remember, so any ways that belongs to said person. J.K Rowling own's almost all, except the plot, crazy ideas, the pink fluffy bunnies, Shelby Bloomsbury, almost sounds like Cadbury huh? Oh and I own 'teddy'. *evil glint in eyes*.
Warning: craziness issues, if you are not an open minded person, do not read any further.
a Short fic. By Josie E.
It was a fine morning, a beautiful morning, a wonderful morning, the most extravagant morning in years, that is until, Sirius Black, woke up.
James up on what used to be a lovely spring day.
"James!" whined a sixteen year old Sirius, jumping on James Potters bed, trying to wake up the scruffy James on what used to be a lovely spring day. A hand appeared out of nowhere and chucked a pillow at the hipper Sirius.
"Leamuph alomuph." was faintly heard from under a big fluffy pillow, the messy black hair seemed to be talking. "What? Jamiekins, I can't hear you! Now wake up, wake up, it's already 6:30!" continued to whine Sirius. He had always been an early riser, even to James disgust on Saturdays and Sundays. Sirius made a grab for the pillow covering James head, when unexpectedly, James lunged at Sirius punching every bit of him he could reach. 'Ouff' cried Sirius as he feel off James bed with a resounding boom. "That'll teach ya, you git, let'me catch my beauty sleep, god only knows I need it with you around! Besides I want to look my best for Lily today and it's SATURDAY!" screamed James.
"Spoil sport, stop being such a wet blanket and get outta bed, it's EASTER!" cried Sirius jumping around the room.
"I'm not a wet blanket...ahhh, fine! Let me get a shower." said James finally giving up, knowing Sirius wouldn't. "Oh, and you get the honours of waking up our dear Moony." added James a sly smile growing on his face.
Moony, or Remus Lupin as he was usually known as, wasn't a morning person, and hated being woken up. James had learned that the hard way in first year. The marauders as they were know, were planning a prank and needed to wake up at the wee hours of the morning. James, not knowing, had went to wake up Remus, when next thing he knew, he had a large purple bruise on his cheek, and was sitting on the floor. He had also bitten Peter, a few years ago, when Peter had accidentally feel on Remus's bed, while Remus had been sleeping. Of course Sirius had found all this hilarious, but then again he had never had the honours of waking him up.
"Ahhhhh! What the bloody hell is your problem Padfoot?" asked a drenched Remus.
'Thought you needed a shower Remus ol' buddy, between you and me, you weren't exactly smelling like roses." he said jumping out of the way as Remus lunged at him.
"Why did you wake me up?" he asked spitting feathers out of his mouth. "Because it's already 6:45! Duh!" replied Sirius.
"And? It's SATURDAY! There's no school today." said Remus. "It's EASTER!" screamed Sirius.
"Oh and that reminds me." said Remus an evil glint in his eye, and with a swoosh of his wand. Peter and Remus were rolling on the ground laughing. Sirius not knowing what they were laughing at mumbled under his breath something like 'moronic dim-witted idiots' but then again I don't think we'll ever know, as it's not always possible to decipher what one says under ones breath. He went over to the bathroom were James had currently been taking a shower.
A large 'tump' resounded from the bathroom all the way to were Remus and Peter were still laughing on the ground. At the sound they both got up and ran to the bathroom, wondering if something had happened. When they got there, the scene that meet their eyes was quite hilarious, James was on the ground, a towel around himself mind you, and laughing, laughing so hard he was turning purple. Sirius just stood over him, with a weird expression on his face, which clearly meant what's so funny? He walked over to a mirror and saw his reflection, there looking back at him makeup and all was Sirius Orion Black, Quidditch star, all around ladies guy and one of the most popular richest guy, dressed in a giant pink bunny suit. He even had a white painted face with matching pink whiskers.
"REMUS!' he screamed, "GET IT OFF!"
Remus, Peter and James were on the ground laughing. "Ok mate, I'm sorry, but payback is always sweet, or in this case funny." he said, he waved his wand and waited. Nothing seemed to have happen. Sirius was still standing there, costume and all, he turned around looking at his behind, "great now I have a tail! I said take it of not add things." said Sirius clearly starting to look pissed. Remus tried again, suddenly Sirius was holding a basket covered to the brim with chocolate eggs, "uh! Sorry Padfoot, it doesn't seem to be leaving, I can't take it away.."
'Ok , Ok! Just stop trying before you add something else. So what am I supposed to do? Go around school looking like this? When dose the spell wear off?"
"Uh, I think at the end of the day." he said reaching for a chocolate in Sirius's basket.
"Hey Black!" yelled Severus Snape, from across the hall at breakfast, when Sirius came in, "What did the Easter bunny say to the chicken? Nice legs!" he added as the Slytherins laughed.
"Uh, was that just me, or was that the worst joke you ever heard?" asked Peter.
"Ya even worst than Sirius's joke about Minerva, 'member that one? Hey, Mini and I....Ouff! What?" he asked looking at Sirius who had punched him in the ribs. Most people were looking at Sirius clearly trying not to laugh. Sirius just smiled he had learned that his basket of chocolates refilled every time someone took a chocolate, like his werewolf chocoholic friend Remus for example. But of course Sirius always finding good in the worst situations possible, he had even wrote a panflet about it, walked over to the Ravenclaw table and jumped on it and yelled, "Happy Easter everybody!". He then started throwing chocolate eggs in the air. As previewed everyone jumped to grab hold of one, of course others started filling their pockets, what they didn't know, was that he had enchanted the basket. Every egg that came out, with the help of Remus, had the same nifty little spell Sirius had been given. He turned around and said, "Well in the name of the holidays, I guess you can have some too, here you go catch Slytherin slime." to his surprise they didn't turn down the chocolate and greedily took it all, and started gobbling them down as fast as their mouths would let them, at that moment everyone except the few lactose intolerant, started happily eating the chocolates. Sirius walked over to the teachers table and gave a chocolate to each of them, and walked over to his friends.
"Well that's done with." he said with a strange smile, "let's get food, I'm hungry."
"I'm one of those bad things that happens to good people." he said, as professor McGonagall screamed at him. "Ah, now come on Minnie, it'll all be gone by tomorrow, and besides I never new I was such a fashion trend spreader." he added with a wink and his famous get out of trouble smile.
"SIRIUS BLACK, stop calling me MINNIE, and do you have anything to say for yourself?" she said sending him a death glare.
"Yes I do, it' not my fault, you see I was quietly sitting in my dorm room, when suddenly, an unconscious pirate fell through my roof followed by a midget dressed like a parrot! And then a giant snitch started chasing me, and outta nowhere I was here in the great hall, with everybody looking at me like I was some freak with a tail between his legs, pointy ears, black fur, and looking like a death omen, and then there where these chocolates and then... "
"I heard enough," yelled 'Minnie' "I want the truth!"
"The truth? The truth? You can't handle the truth! No, truth handler are you! Bah! I deride your truth-handling abilities! You non truth handling profe... WATCH OUT!" he suddenly screamed, "IT'S A DRUNKEN OWL!" he finished, everybody ducked, as Peter, James, Remus and a very pink Sirius bunny, ran out of the great hall.
"Sirius that was bloody brilliant, always count on you to be the fast thinker and getting us outta sticky messes." said James, still trying to catch his breath.
"You may think you know, but you have no idea." he answered, they had ran straight out of the great hall while everyone was ducking from the 'drunken owl', and had then ran up five floors.
"So where do we go?" asked Peter, "I donno, I was thinking we should run all the way up the 8th floor, member that mirror that shouts rude comments when you walk by?" asked Remus
"Well I kinda got mad at it once, and I learnt there's a secret passage behind it, no one knows about but me, and you know? we could hide there t'ill tomorrow."
"Brilliant, alright so we...do you hear that?" asked Sirius as the sound of running feet got louder by the second. "Oh bullocks, there right behind us, RUN!"
The four marauders ran, ran as fast as their legs would let them, poor Peter he being the shortest and pudgiest was having difficulties following.
"Don't look back, somebody might be gaining on you. It'll only slow you down." commented Sirius.
10 minutes later
Three of the marauders were hiding in a secret room, situated behind the mirror they had previously been talking about.
"I have a feeling the Slytherins aren't gonna let this go." said a very worried looking Sirius.
"Sirius stop being such a paranoid git, so they got Peter, it's not like he'll betray his friends just because he's out numbered, he's a marauder, we stick up for each other, if one goes down, we all run." said James chuckling slightly.
"James just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you." replied a very edgy Sirius.
"Oh Sirius, it's not comming back from the lake to have it's revenge on you, will you quit it, that was four years ago."
"Give it time, give it time James, it's only been four years, 'teddy's' probably grown a lot and he's bilding up an army, the giant squid, those ugly headed thingys and oh don't forget those fire breathing monsters and those horned giants with pointy teeth, and of course those muggle dogs, there the worst, they fly and have these poisonous paws and they also suck your blood if you get within a five food radius of one, unless you own it. He's probably..." Sirius drowned on for a little while, Remus and James had stoped listen somewhere between the part about armies and giant spiders with blood sucking fangs?
"...and of course he would, oh and then he'll turn me purple like this." he said waving his wand in Remus direction who was currently playing a game of exploding snaps with James. Remus not noticing what Sirius had done kept playing, when James started laughing causing the stack of cards to blow up in his face. James still laughing hadn't notice his eyebrows where on fire, Remus quickly noticing extinguished them. He then noticed he was purple, "Sirius! Change me back!"
"I would but...ouff" Remus was sitting on top of him, with Sirius's wand in his hand. "Remus! Gimme back my wand or you'll be purple forever!"
"Thank you." he said returning Remus to his original state of colour.
"So which one do we eat first?" asked Sirius an evil glint in his eye.
"Wha?" he asked backing away from Sirius, he had clearly gone mad, or mader then he used to be, half an hour in hiding can do that to you.
"Just kidding. So Remus," he said his voice hinting he was clearly bored, "who is it our dear Moony ol' boy, has an eye out for this week? Wait don't tell me, it's Shelby Bloomsbury. It is, I know it is." he said seeing the light pink in Remus's checks.
"Oh Sirius, leave him alone."
"Fine, so Jamiekins planing on buying that new broom model? The fireblaster 800? Top of the line mind you, I'm buying it, who ever said money can't buy happiness, clearly wasn't rich."
8 hours later
"So...weak...ne...need...food...oh....look...a chicken leg.." said Sirius crawling on the floor towards Remus's leg. "AHHHH! Sirius you moronic dimwit, that's my leg, and what are you on abou..." he never got to finish because at that moment the door their secret hiding place opened, and there stood------PETER! That's right Peter to the rescue.
"PETER! I thought you were a gonner, thought I'd never see you again, oh your alive, your alive!" said Sirius half sobbing in his usual dramatically fake performance.
"Uh ya, so did I, took half the after noon to find this place, and then the stupid mirror wouldn't let me in." he said with a guilty expression on his face. Sirius of course hadn't noticed since all he could think about was his 'freedom'.
"Common guys, let's get outta here."
The three marauders left their hideout, and there behind Peter, was standing the whole school, including the teachers. They were all holding either a book, an extremely heavy looking bad or forks and various utensils, Sirius also thought he saw somewhere in the crowd a few shovels and hay forks.
"Uh, hey guys, you know what? In first year, I had a pet turtle, a snapping turtle to be more accurate," Sirius said while eyeing everyone there. James and Remus slapped their forehead since they knew what he was on about. ", and he was also poisonous, now don't get me wrong, he was cool and all, but wasn't me, and would often wake me up at night, and so one day me and my friends flushed 'teddy' which was his name offcourse and ...uh RUN!"
A/N: I know, I know I'm eviiiiiilllll, buhahahahaha, but I thought it would be funny to see the crowd turn on them for once. I know I have a very twisted mind, especially if it's full of chocolates, lol. Now reviews are great, so review, I don't mind constructive criticism, but please no flames, I got my first flamer the other day and it really made me feel sad, oh well. Now after you clicked that beautiful purple button on the bottom of the page next to 'Submit Review', check out my other stories.
P.S: Here are my stories with a short summary.
1. Memory LapseSirius's girlfriend Amelia, really likes him, he dumps her and she wants revenge. Instead she'll have to deal with hitting him in the head with a bludger during Gym, in which they were practicing quidditch skills. See what happens next!
2. Land O Dreams
It's been three days since Lily toke a sleeping potion, after getting hit in the leg by a bludger during a big game, only she
won't wake up, is she stuck in the land of dreams? Will James, and new boyfriend go to extreme measures to get her back?
3. The Exchange Students
Exchange students come to Hogwarts, how will Remus, James and Sirius cope with that? Read and find out. Written by me
and my very good friend Shana Malfoy. (Ch. 2 posted)
4. A united friendship
Lily is trying to get signatures, for a petition against the school uniforms, but when she doesn't have any, is she willing to
go to the extreme, take James advice? (Ch.1 posted)
5. End of year Exams
Let me tell you a story, it happened to friends of mine, but if I am, we might as well go back a week in advance. That's right
the week before the exams. (ch. 1 posted)
6. The surprise
The Marauders have a little surprise in store for the WHOLE school.
7. Fuzzy Bunny Slippers
Remus has fuzzy bunny slippers? (COMPLETE)
8. A Valentine Disaster
There's a valentine dance coming to Hoggy Warty Hogwarts, and it's going to be disastrous, or is it? (COMPLETE)
9. Never Bring the marauders to a hockey games
Takes place in 5th year. Lily brings the marauders to a hockey game, during summer what craziness is going to issue? read and find out. (FULL SUMMARY INSIDE) COMPLETE
10. Meant to live
First ever song fic. Ya! It's based on the song 'meant to live' by switchfoot, and goes through the last thoughts and actions
on the night of 'the incident', the death of James and Lily Potter. First real serious fic.