A/N: This is a response to gidgetgirl's Harmony Throwback Challenge. Fred turning into Illria never happened. Generally, it consists of humour but might possibly become darker in later chapters.
"Krivsiir blak sotkure. Sirla niptak." Harmony cheerily said to the demon mage, their most recent important client. The creature glowered at the impeccably groomed blonde vampire and let out an ear piercing screech. Its minions howled in response.
Angel, Fred, Wesley & Gunn flinched.
"You loathsome, despicable sub-demon!" Their irate guest hissed as it continued to glare at Harmony, who was now looking uncomfortable. He had very little respect for vampires, creatures that his clan considered as unworthy to be part of the demon world, and this one dared to insult and threaten his family?
She let out a nervous chuckle. "What did I do? I only said, good morning. I hope you like it here."
Wesley sighed heavily. "Harmony, you just told him that his wives are whores and you wish to eat his children and wear their entrails as trophy."
"You, vermin, shall be punished by death!" The mage hissed as it took long strides to Harmony, who was now backing away.
"I didn't mean to offend you, oh power demon mage. I swear." She looked at the others for some sort of assistance.
"She lies." One minion uttered gravely. "Their kind lies."
The mage clasped its hand around Harmony's neck. "You must be punished."
"Perhaps, we can come up with another form of punishment for Harmony." Angel quickly suggested as he walked over to where the mage stood, who was now pressing Harmony against the wall. The mage sneered in response to Angel.
"Death is the only solution." Another minion spoke.
Gunn looking calmer than the rest of the group rose, smoothed his hands over his pinstriped suit and stood beside the mage and Angel. "If you really wish to punish this thing," He shot Harmony a feigned disgusted look which she met with an offended one. "Sending her to a quick death would not suffice."
"Hey, you're not helping!" Harmony squeaked, trying to wriggle away.
"Silence, creature!" The third minion hissed.
"The human speaks wisely. Death is too easy an escape." The mage replied as he loosened his grip around Harmony's neck and shoved her away. "Shranta shranta vlek. Quor milz trek. Qour. Qour. Qour." He began to chant, his voice hoarse and loud. His minions joined in.
The mage turned its gleaming eyes to Harmony once again, who was rubbing her neck and looking mighty pissed. "In three weeks time, you shall know what it's like to be eaten and have your entrails worn as trophy like the children of my tribe who have gone before us."
With that said, their enraged visitor and his three underlings stormed out of the office, shoving Spike out of the way who was just on his way in.
"What the hell?" Spike muttered, rubbing his sore shoulder. "I guess it didn't go well, huh?"
Angel shot him a warning glare.
"Thanks for the help, guys." Harmony declared indignantly. "Mr. Stinky-Breath practically broke my neck. And you just stood there!" She flashed an angry look at Gunn.
"Girl, I helped you. Be thankful." Gunn retorted.
Harmony huffed. "What did he do any-"
Before she could finish, there was a loud poof, followed by smoke and Harmony yelping lightly.
"Oh, dear." Wesley murmured as they all stared in awe at five year old version of the vampire-turned-secretary.
"Harmony?" Fred called out softly, as if not wanting to scare the little girl.
The blonde upturned her dark eyes to the much taller woman and readjusted the now oversized clothes she was wearing. "That's Princess Harmony Kendall and who's asking?" She coolly replied, lisping slightly, as she placed her hands over her hips.
"I don't think she knows who we are." Spike drawled casually not at all frazzled that his ex-girlfriend was now a child.
"Apparently not." Wesley piped in.
Harmony cleared her throat loudly. "It's rude to talk about someone when in they're still in the room, you know?" She drawled, accusingly eyeing all of them. Before anyone could utter another word, Lorne walked into the room and Harmony let out a high pitched scream.
A/N: This is my first throwback and Angel fic so be kind. Althoguh the original idea for this belongs to gidgetgirl, I will be adding some other stuff to it. What the demon mage really did to Harmony will be explained in the next chapter.
I appreciate constructive criticism.