So I've finally vanquished my writer's block (or at least sent it home crying) and have this thingy to show for it. This was a crazy idea that has just been swimming around my head so I wrote it. I guess it could be humor but it's more under the genre of randominity. Though, that's not really a word is it…?

Oh… anything that's in bold is Clive talking, okay?

Standard Disclaimer: I don't own the Wild Arms trade mark or any related characters or places.

Here we go…


Dear Daddy,

            Since your birthday's coming up soon me and Mommy bought you a present. I chose it for you and Mommy let me write you a letter.  We can't find you and Mommy said you can't come home until a long time because some people are after you. So we're sending this by Roykman, he promised to bring it to you. I hope you get it in time. Happy Birthday!

P.S- I've begun eating celery.

                                                                                                                        With Love,

Kaitlyn and mommy

            Clive smiled as he finished reading the letter. It had come just in time for his birthday; Roykman must have really gone out of his way. He looked over the letter one more time. He chuckled and placed it in his pocket, folding it very carefully. He would have to find a safe place to put it later.

            Clive turned to the package he had set aside earlier. It was wrapped in plain brown paper and tied with string. He unwrapped it slowly trying not to rip anything. He then opened the box.

            Clive gasped as he pulled out a black video camera. It was shiny and even smelled new. He glanced about, looking both ways before pressing the camera against his cheek. It was cool to the touch… He sighed in great relief. He'd always wanted a video camera but had never gotten around to buying it.

            He stood up suddenly, eager to try it out. He turned it on and held it arms distance from his face. Looking into the lens he announced in a clear voice, "My name is Clive Winslet." He giggled madly as he continued. "I'm just outside Claiborne, a quaint little town located in Westwood. While the town itself is magnificent, my main interest in the area is the wild life. This area is home to many creatures and plant species. Let us take a look around."

            Clive turned the camera away from himself. The whistle of the wind was heard and a tumbleweed rolled slowly by… but there was no wildlife. Clive cleared his throat slightly and said, "It seems that the creatures have decided to take shelter from the sun. Why don't we seek them out and try to learn about these magnificent organisms." And with that Clive Winslet took off.


            Minutes later our resident sniper was crouching in some shrubbery, seeking out a subject for his documentary. As he hid, Jet suddenly walked into the area. Clive squealed with delight. "Some fifteen paces away or so from us, we see Jet Enduro. Now Jet is a more primitive beast… who is prone to fits of rage and is likely to fight for territory. Let us observe him."


            Jet sat on a nearby rock and pulled out a small bag. "It seems that he has hoarded something and is storing it for a later time… ah, its gella! While this may strike you as odd, Jet Enduro absolutely adores gella. Experts doubt he can grasp the concept of money and believe that he is just attracted to its glitter." Clive was silent for a moment as Jet dumped the contents of the pouch onto the ground. The suspense was building as Jet picked up the gella one by one and placed it in the bag.

            "Could it be?! Yes, he is counting his gella. This is an amazing discovery! Ah, wait he's stopped… does he sense my presence… no, but something is wrong."

            "What happened to my gella…" yelled Jet angrily. At least five pieces were missing. "Gallows… have you stolen my gella?!"

            "No I haven't…" replied Gallows as he approached Jet. Jet looked at him suspiciously. As Gallows began to slink away Jet perked up suddenly… that strange jingle that accompanied Gallows's escape gave him away.

            "You idiot, I know you have it…" growled Jet, his voice dangerously low. Gallows stopped and began to laugh nervously.

            "Hmm… I sense a fight coming…" murmured Clive with just a hint of excitement.

            Jet glared at Gallows as he walked forward. Gallows took a couple edgy steps away. Normally he'd take the sulky silver haired punk any day, but this was different. This involved gella… Jet would kill for gella…

            "The tension is rising…" announced Clive dramatically, "One of them will snap soon…"

            "Hello guys!"

            All heads snapped towards the source of the cheery voice. "Well, what do have here but the leader of the pack, Virginia Maxwell. Though her views may be a bit unique… she is reasonably bright. Overall, she is leader for a reason and is very determined if not completely stubborn."

            Virginia put her hands on her hips as she glared at the two men. "You're arguing again aren't you?" She got no reply; the answer was obvious. "What is it this time?"

            "He has my gella," exploded Jet as he pointed to Gallows.

            Virginia frowned. "Gallows is this true?" Gallows nodded solemnly. "Well, in that case give it back…"

            "I need it though…" whined Gallows.

            "It not yours… so give it back…" commanded Virginia with a sense of finality. Gallows complied and mumbled something under his breath.

            "Hmm… it seems the conflict has been resolved…"

            "What did you say?!" screeched Virginia suddenly. Beads of sweat trickled down Gallow's face as Virginia walked towards him. He would definitely not be able to hold his own against her, not after what he had said. "Jet is not my boyfriend!" she roared.

             Jet's reaction was much the same. Carefully setting the gella pouch aside,              (pausing to pat it lovingly) he got ready to pounce.

            "The insane wrangling will come soon…" Clive paused. Maybe he should intervene; after all he was the usual peace maker… "Why don't we get a bit closer to the upcoming action?" Clive was about to get closer when someone tapped him on the shoulder.

            Slightly annoyed, Clive turned around. He came face to face with Roykman, who was smiling brightly as usual.

            "Hey, Clive how do you like your present?" Roykman exclaimed brightly.

            Clive's eyes widened. He glanced back to Virginia, Jet, and Gallows. The three were still locked in a bitter word struggle. Still it was pretty risky to have Roykman around…  "Shut up Roykman… I'm busy…" he hissed.

            "But, Clive, I just want to talk to someone…"

            "I don't care… go away," yelled Clive completely forgetting the importance of stealth.

            The venom in Clive's voice told Roykman that the sniper was completely serious, so he decided to listen. As he crept away, he mumbled something about Rokyman and Co lately being just Roykman.

            Once certain that Roykman was gone, Clive turned the video camera back to himself. "Sorry about that interruption… let's get back to the incoherent bickerings of the creatures…" Clive turned back to his original position but was met with the unsmiling faces of all three of his comrades.

            "Incoherent bickerings of the creatures…" Virginia's voice trailed off as her eyebrow began to twitch convulsively.

            Clive sweat-dropped. "Umm… I can explain?"


So what did you guys think? Read and Review… Well, you've probably already read so just review.