Author's note: No, don't own the characters, only the idea. I've kind of mixed the movie with the series. Hope you don't mind : )

Might have been

~

"For all sad words of tongue or pen,
The saddest are these:
"It might have been."
-John Greenleaf Whittier

~

I knew I loved you. I knew the moment you swept me up in your arms, angel wings spread, stopping my decent to death. Why then did I continue to play Allen's game? The flirting, the kiss, and even the marriage? It was because you acted so distant. I was jealous. You never opened up to anyone except Merle and only her sometimes. I think I wanted you to just tell me something. No matter how small it was, I would have cherished it.

Then, we grew closer. I hope that somewhere in you, you felt a love for me…even if it was the tiniest feeling. At the end of it all, when we had to say goodbye… I didn't want to leave. I knew I had to. But… maybe… maybe there could have been… more.

~

I stared at her feet. The white shoes and blue socks which covered my small feet as they tapped impatiently on the cement step. My hair was cut short now, layered in a fringe that all my friends called, "cute and so me."

So me… did I really want to be Hitomi Kanzaki? The girl with all the problems, who just wanted to f a d e away. Who, when finally got her wish, kissed it goodbye. I didn't even try to stay on Gaea with Van.

Van…? I had loved him… No. That's not right. I still {love} him. Still. No matter how crazy it is. No matter how many years have passed. Even at night, I dream of him. How one day, I may find my way back into his arms. So warm and loving. Then, I wake up and the dream becomes a nightmarish reality of a cruel fate.

Even if I did get back, some how or some way, would he even remember me? Would he even care?

Sometimes despite all my reasoning, I think I see him.

Raising my eyes from my feet, I faintly see a figure striding across the school track field. Sunlight blinding and (b l u r r i n g) its edges. I see his face and my heart flutters. Giant white wings stretch forth from his back. Enveloping me in a warm circle, he lowered his lips to mine.

"Hitomi?" I felt a hand on my shoulder. Looking up, I squinted at my friends worried face. "Are you coming with us?"

"Yeah, sorry spaced out. I'll catch up given me a minute." I reached down for my bag, but my eyes once again locked on my feet. There a soft white feather laid softly next to my shoe.

My breath caught…

And I wonder…

What might have been?

If only I stayed.