Realizations

Summary- Just something that I wrote. Takes place directly after As You Were. Nothing is the same in the rest of the season. Buffy finally realizes her true feelings about Spike.

Disclaimer- I own nothing. I am not creative enough to own anything like that any way.

Chapter 1

Contd. From the last scene in As You were.

"I'm sorry, William." Then she turned and left. Spike just stood there realizing that this time she really meant it. After a few more moments he climbed to the top part of his crypt, finding a bottle of Jack Daniels that was lying around before draining the rest of it in ten seconds flat. When it was empty he threw it at the wall, watching as it shattered into a thousand pieces, much like his heart. He still had much anger in him so he threw around everything that he could find before the entire place looked like it had just been blown up. After that, he ran outside yelling out at what he thought was an empty cemetery.

"BITCH! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME! YOU THINK I HAVE NO FEELINGS?! THAT YOU COULD NEVER LOVE SOMEONE THAT HAS NO SOUL?! I'LL SHOW YOU!" "I'll show you who isn't capable of love." He whispered before crawling back in to his crypt before passing out.

What he didn't sense just now was another presence just a few meters away that had seen the whole out burst. A lone tear had escaped her eye as she watched, then a whole flood of them came out as she turned and ran home.

When she reached home she ignored Dawn and Willow who were watching TV and ran straight to her room. She then locked the door and cried herself to sleep. Wondering how she should properly deal with her situation. *I broke his heart; I love him and am too afraid to admit it because of my friends. Oh God, I am a bitch! *

Chapter 2- Buffy's day

The next morning she awoke around ten with a tear stained face and red puffy eyes. She slowly got up, and took a shower. She felt a little better but the pain in her heart still hurt like hell. She walked drowsily to her room where she changed and planned to go over to Tara's to have another girl talk about Spike. She wasn't good with these types of decisions and always relied on her friends to help her out. This time though, there was only one who could help her out. About a half hour later Buffy had arrived at Tara's new home and knocked. Tara came to the door and when she saw Buffy's pained look exclaimed "Buffy what's wrong!?" "Can I come in?" she replied. "S-Sure." She replied as she opened the door wider. "Um...W-what's wrong? What happened?" "I broke up with him." She replied as new tears appeared in her eyes. "Why did he, um...do s-something?" "No. Riley came back and he had a new wife... and I saw how happy they looked and how they were able to connect so well, and I thought that I would never be able to have something like that with Spike." At that she broke down again, not being able to control it. Tara leaned over and gave her a hug, hoping it would comfort the grieving Buffy.

"I love him Tara, I'm just to selfish to admit it to anyone because I'm scared that they wont accept it and will shun me." "It'll be ok Buffy, if you really love him t-then it w-wont matter what they think. Follow your own heart, not theirs." "I know, I'm just scared."



Chapter 3- Spikes Day (it's the same day)

Spike awoke very slowly due to his MASSIVE hangover that he had. He had spent his previous night getting drunk hoping that it would make everything go away. Unfortunately it didn't work. HE looked around his crypt eying the huge mess that he made. Even though he didn't want to, he got up and started cleaning. It took him a few hours but he finally made the top level look a tiny bit decent. He then lay down. The pain was to great for him to take a nap so he just lay there on the floor thinking over the incidents that happened. He had hoped that a visit from Captain-Cardboard would knock some sense into her but it only knocked what little there was out.

He knew that she loved him but she would never admit it to herself. She knew that he would be the one that would never leave but there was only so far you can push a man before he changes his mind and finally walks away. He had always been loves bitch, he just needed to know when the time was to finally bite back. He slowly sat up and looked at the item that was in his hand that he had found when he was cleaning, something that Buffy dropped from her previous 'visit', a stake.

Chapter 4

Buffy was patrolling hoping that it would help her vent a little and make a decision concerning Spike. She was beginning to think that tonight would be quiet and she should just go home when her vamp senses kicked in. She then heard grunts and various sounds that resembled fighting so she ran until she spotted what was going on. There she saw Spike fighting four vamps all by himself, he looked like he was handling it when he dusted two, but his heart wasn't in it. He looked tired and before Buffy was able to intervene a vamp behind him stabbed a stake in his heart. "SPIKE!!" He turned his head and whispered "Buffy" before disintegrating. She screamed and lunged herself at the first and then faced the vampire that killed her love. She didn't give him a chance at even lunging before she was on him. She beat him for a few minutes before staking him. When the vamp was dusted, she crawled over to where Spike's ashes were lying and burst into tears. "Spike. Spike. Come back. Come back. You promised you would never leave. Come back, Come back. COME BACK!!" She cried before passing out.

"BUFFY! BUFFY! Wake up. Wake up. It's ok it was only a dream." Buffy opened her eyes to find Willow and Dawn looking down at her with concerned faces." "Willow? Dawn? Where am I?" Your at home, you were screaming bloody murder so we woke you." "Oh." Was all she replied. She was still shaking. Her dream had felt so real, She had felt the pain as if he really had died. Her heart had felt like it had disintegrated into millions of pieces just like he had. At this thought fresh tears had appeared in her eyes. "Buffy are you ok?" Dawn asked seeing her sister start to cry again was enough to make her burst into tears herself. "Buffy? I cant help asking but when you started screaming you were screaming and calling to Spike, is there something that you want to tell us?" Willow asked. Buffy just sighed and sat up in bed knowing that she really should have told every one before it had gotten this far, so she shoved away her pride and fesses up, telling them everything. The reactions were exactly as she imagined. Willow was in total shock and Dawn was crossed between anger for using him and breaking up with him and joy for Buffy finally admitting that she was in love with him and that they had actually gotten together. After a few moments Willow finally spoke up, showing much support for her friend but reminding her that she should really talk to her about these things. 'cause that was what girlfriends do.

Happy with the approval, she drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

Chapter 5

The next day she invited everyone to the Magic Box and told Anya, Xander, and Giles about her and Spike. She knew that she didn't need Tara, Willow, and Dawn but they were there for support. Anya congratulated her for "finally finding someone who could supply lots of orgasms." She groaned but thanked her anyway. Xander and Giles went off on her telling her that Vampires were evil soulless monsters, Spike could turn on her one day and drain her in an instant, didn't she remember what happened last time that she was involved with a vampire, and things how it was totally against her job criteria to be with a vampire.

She didn't take it from them though. When they had finished yelling at her she had a chance to yell back at them. Her comeback was telling them that Spike was different, he wouldn't hurt her even if he tried, and that Spike was nothing like his grand-sire Angel. They were in love and they had to accept it whether they liked it or not. Giles kept his mouth shut knowing how stubborn Buffy could be and wouldn't back down in her beliefs even if her life depended on it.

Xander on the other hand didn't back down so easily. He still felt that it wasn't right and there was no way he would ever accept it. It wasn't until Anya yelled saying that he better keep his mouth shut because she was an ex-demon and she didn't like it when he went around insulting her kind like that. He just simply replied with a "Anya your not a demon anymore so it doesn't really matter." "I know I'm not a demon anymore but keep in mind that I didn't ask to become human, I was cursed with it. Another thing, keep it down your scaring off the customers." After hearing Anya rant about that he did keep his mouth shut. After that was over Buffy left to patrol and check up on Spike. Hoping that he hadn't left.

Chapter 6

She had just finished patrolling the last cemetery so she walked over to Spikes crypt. She didn't know if he would still be there but she tried anyway. She knocked on the large stone door but no one answered, so, she opened it and walked on in. What she saw was not what she expected. The entire top level had been redone and now had new furniture and new rugs to go with it. It looked completely new. She walked over to the trap door and stretched her senses to check if anyone was really in there.

She sensed him so she slowly climbed down, looking around she found that this level had been redone too. Her attention was turned to the bed when she heard him speak "Funny, how much pain a girl could cause without knowing it. And did you realize how something so small could take it all away. Just one little poke then *POOF* it's gone, all the pain, grief, sorrow. Everything." Buffy didn't know what he was talking about until she saw him twirling the stake in his hand, as if he was figuring if he should use it or not. "Spike?" "yeah? What's up Slayer?"

"What were you planning on doing with that?" " 'm not sure. I found it on the floor, been wonderin' whether I should use it or not." "What will help you make your decision?" "All depends on a lady." He replied simply. "Fine I'll make your decision for you" she then walked over to where he was, plucked the stake from his hand and threw it across the room. "Spike. Look at me, I came over here to apologize. I heard you when you were yelling-let me talk-, I heard what you were yelling and you were right, I was being a bitch, I ignored my feelings for you because I was to scared of being judged by my friends to care about what I want, what I need.

I had a dream, I saw you fighting, and then a vamp staked you. I thought it was real. When I saw you die I felt like my heart had disintegrated with you. I had never felt that way before, not even when Angel left me. In my dream I started yelling at you because you said that you would never leave me but you did.

I woke up I felt like it had been real, I was crying and had confided everything to Dawn, Tara, and Willow. They were supportive. Then I went to the shop and told everyone else. Anya was happy but the other two wouldn't drop the subject I finally convinced them that my feelings would never change and they would have to deal." Spike just sat there the entire time listening, when she finished he was to shocked to speak. When he finally did get his voice back he asked "What exactly are you saying Luv?" She took a deep breath and finally said it "I love you Spike." He looked at her as if he was dreaming. "This cant be real" "Spike listen to me I.LOVE.YOU. is that clear enough for you?" It took him a moment but he finally realized that she meant it. He reached up and pulled her down so she was lying on top of him before he kissed her with all the love he had. After about a minute he pulled back to let her breathe before softly replying "I love you too" Their smiles lit up the entire room. She then leaned down and kissed him again. Clothes were shed as they got lost in the moment.

Epilogue

Since the last time we saw them, Spike got his soul and he didn't die at the end of the series. Just so you don't get confused.

The gang was hanging out in the magic box waiting till Buffy and Spike got there to tell them the good news. About five minutes later they walked into the store hand in hand. When they had all gotten comfortable, with Buffy sitting on Spikes lap, Giles started explaining why he called all of them there. "It seems that I uncovered another prophecy, this one about an en-souled vampire. It is called Sanshu. It says that a noble vampire with a soul with complete many good deeds in his own free will, the reward is humanity." He paused then continued" I received this information from Angels co-workers and Angel Investigations an-" he was cut short by Spike's growl at the mention of Angels name. "please do not interrupt me. Now, it seems that they knew about this for a while and didn't bother to share because they thought that the vampire would be Angel.

What they didn't see was the fact that the vampire must do these things of his own free will, since Angel was cursed it seems that now Spike will be the one to fulfill this prophecy and receive his humanity." As he finished they all turned to look at Spike who looked dazed. "Spike? You ok?" Buffy asked. "Lot of info to take in luv." To help him cope she dragged him to the training room to talk. "Sweetie, just think, your going to become human! Now we can go out in the sun, get married, and start a family!"

He was just thinking about it like that and he knew the first step. With a sly face that confused her about his next move, he got down on one knee and said "Buffy luv, you've changed me, made me into a better man, and helped me through tough times. So I ask, will you marry me?" She was shocked but her happiness was so overwhelming, she jumped on him squealing "YES!" Then he did something that confused her, he pulled a little velvet box that was in his pocket that held the most beautiful engagement ring that she could imagine. He slipped it on her finger, took her hand and led her back out to the main room. She was too happy to keep it in so right when they entered the room she exclaimed "WE'RE ENGAGED!" The girls all squealed in delight and the guys walked over to Spike to congratulate him. Even Xander was happy.

Yup, life couldn't get any better.

THE END