Tears of Rain

By Lyra Sanzennine

Author's Forward: This is not a typical Rin-is-human-Sess-is-demon-they-can't-be-together-but-Sess-will-fall-in-love-anyways-yay!-the-end! Fic. However, it may take a chapter or two to get past this initial misconception. ToR deals with many issues, such as, why is Sess so cold? What happened to him to make him that way? What's Rin going to do about it? Is she going to remain an emotionally dependent little girl? Can he love her if he's incapable of trusting anyone? Can she really love him as she is now?

Secondly, my primary goal in this story is to make the romance as absolutely realistic as possible, while keeping everyone in character. With that in mind, any comments that you might have about this matter would be greatly appreciated. One of the first things that might pop up is the issue of the naginata (blade mounted on a pole). Bushi women of the Sengoku Jidai (Warring States Period, circa 1467- 1568) did actually wield naginatas. Given the lack of safety during these periods, it makes sense that women would need to be ready to defend their homes and families from invaders in the absence of their husbands who were on the battlefield. This is my reasoning for Rin's use of the polearm. Not so much that I am trying to make her as perfect and Mary-Sue like as possible, but rather in keeping with accuracy and as a helpful plot device.

Yes, I'm meticulous when it comes to my research. :)

With that said, I hope that this story does not disappoint you. Either way, whether you enjoy it or not, comments are always welcome.

See my bio page for a link to my cover art for this fic.

He couldn't love her. It was a simple impossibility, brought about for simple reasons.

Lord Sesshoumaru of the Western Lands hated humans. They were vile. They were despicable. Weak, greedy, conniving, dishonorable, and disgusting in every way. Their scent reeked of death and waste, foul to the very core.

And he would not, would not permit the bloodline of his noble father from becoming diluted any further. This Sesshoumaru would not spawn some pathetic hanyou like his half-brother.

Yes, humans were revolting, and he could barely stand to be near them.


She was different.

Did that warrant nothing?

She had not a trace of greed within her. Had no need of jewelry or expensive gifts or far reaching lands and power over its people. It seemed to him that all she needed in life was a field of wildflowers and the knowledge that she pleased him.

She didn't smell like other humans either. They stank of corruption. She was sunshine and earth.



He would not repeat the mistakes of his father. Taking that vile human woman to mate, producing that hanyou brother of his, bringing damnation upon his head and that of all his territories.

This Sesshoumaru was wise enough to learn from the mistake of his predecessors.

Rin was nothing. Just an amusement he kept around because it pleased him to do so. She was just a weak human. Frail and useless.

She should have been married years ago, he realized suddenly. Other human women of her age would have borne several children by now. She should have been living happily in some meager human village with her own family. Her own cubs.

A low growl unconsciously manifested itself in the depths of his throat at the thought of his Rin mated to some unworthy boy.

His Rin.

His Rin who would dance so carefree among the flowers and play her pipe for him with that bright light in her eyes and do anything just to make him smile.

And she was his, he thought with a pang of possessiveness. He would never stand to see her in the arms of such a low creature. She deserved more than anything a mere human could offer her.

But…she was a woman. She needed company and people. She would soon need a real family. She needed…love.

He could offer her none of that.

Certainly she deserved all of that and more.

Perhaps that was the best way then. To send her off with all she would need to live in an acceptable human village. To let her find her own acceptable human mate. At least then she could no longer tear him so. Then he wouldn't have to smell her heat that time each month and expend so much energy just to fight off his baser instincts.

She was beautiful, he admitted, for a human at least. When he'd first saved her life as a child, he recalled that she'd been what humans would call "adorable," and had slowly proceeded to grow into a stunning woman. Her black locks fell straight down her back to her thighs, kept in perfect condition, a habit she picked up from his example. The childish side-ponytail was gone, but her large brown eyes held all of their original innocence and laughter.

Day after day she did everything she could to procure his favor. Didn't she realize that she already had that and more?

It was not enough, he supposed.

He could never give her what she needed to truly live; to truly be happy.

Because she was a human. It was…he sighed. It was a simple impossibility.

Human? No. It was not that. Even though her blood smelled of humanity, she was unique and completely different from those he detested. She was light.

But he…he was a youkai. A youkai lord. He governed the Western Lands. Strength and stoicism were the only ways to survive. No weakness could be permitted. Rin was…

His Rin was his only weakness, proven time and time again as she was kidnapped and he wasted precious time and willingly sustained injuries to seek her out. To bring her back. To keep her would be his downfall, and he would walk the exact same maligned path as his deceased father.

If Lord Sesshoumaru had been a man inclined to laughter of any sort, he would have laughed bitterly at himself.

Enough peripheral reasons. There was no denying it. He cared about the girl that had stayed faithfully by his side almost all of her life. The girl who had always so blindly put her trust in him, even when her own kind had tried to beat it out of her. He cared about a human girl; a human woman.

He cared about her too much as it was, but simply caring would not be enough. As she aged, it would take its toll upon her and the laughter would slowly fade from her eyes. Sesshoumaru would not let that happen to his Rin.

This Sesshoumaru…This Sesshoumaru did not trust.

This Sesshoumaru could not love.