Disclaimer:I don't own the Teen Titans.
Author's Note:I decided to write Chapter 3 now,I couldn't wait. Since my computer is in repair I'm using my library's computer. This certainly isn't like my laptop. Since I can't use asterisks anymore(why,I'll never know.),I'm using the funky parenthesis. Anyway this is the turning point chapter and of all the songs,this and next chapter's are two of my favorites.
Lain:What a great idea(sprays B.B. with acid). Seriously,I don't kill off anyone canon or not. I consider it very cheap and unoriginal(I'll explain later)but you may not like what I do to B.B. in this chapter. I'll let you be the judge.
writerofthefuture:I'm glad you got a sense of humor. You need that in life.
idoliar:No harm,no foul.
Timeline:Three hours after Part 2
Well,here is the Rocko's Modern Life reference I promised you,Noriaki. Hope you like them.
Let's get started.
Robin stayed in the hangar for a while. 'About three hours,ten seconds.' He counted the time since Raven left. The focal point of his thoughts.
'I can't believe that super-goth ,super-antisocial Raven likes me. Me!' he said,still shocked by Raven's recent actions. Going super-demon all over Jinx and why?
Because she likes him apparently. But the far better question is does she love him?
For as long as he knew her,he wasn't sure if Raven was capable of love,let alone like. Obviously today proved him wrong. However there are so many questions:Starfire,Beast Boy,but far above them,would he return these feelings?
'I'm not sure.'
Robin wasn't sure which put him off more between the two girls:Raven's antisocial attitudes or Starfire's sickening sweet wholesomeness?
'I'd like to think Starfire but I think it's Raven's attitude.' Raven's goth moods always made the Boy Wonder grimance. The first year was expectionally difficult because she never wanted to do anything with them. And granted,the rest of the Titans are a pesky bunch but he wouldn't trade them for anything.
As much as he hated her attitude,he deeply admired her seriousness. If the other Titans had their way,they'd goof all the time. That's just one of the aspects of Raven he admired. Among others. The analytical part of his brain kicked in.
'Maybe I should focus on Raven's other qualities first then the others.' He thought since he had a lot to think about. Process of elimination would be best. He thought he should do Raven first since she's the focal point of all this.
'All right she's moody and serious,what else is there?' Robin mused. He was scrambling to find Raven's other qualities. Let's see…she is extremely well-read and whipsmart. If he didn't know the answer to a question he knew Raven would know. Granted,she may obsess over her books like Beast Boy and Cyborg obsess over their 'pointless video games' as she would call them but she wasn't consumed by them. Besides to actually read and to use the brains God gave you was far more impressive. Especially in this day and age when most people would rather watch a movie than read a book. He chuckled.
'That's definitelysomething Raven would say.' He said thinking about the sarcastic quips she's used over the years and he laughed at all of them. He didn't laughed on the outside but he was all smiles on the inside. He wanted to laugh,he did but couldn't because of his serious leader image he projected. If he were with Batman and laughed like he wanted to with Raven's comments he'd never hear the end of it.
'But it would be worth it.' He mentally smirked.
Besides her humor and intellect Robin understood her need to privacy. It was a need he knew all too well with Batman. Privacy often went hand-in-hand with secrets. The more private the person,the more secrets he'd/she'd know. Robin knew that and he knew Raven was the most secretive person he knew second only to Batman and not even then. If he told her his most precious secrets such as his secret identity or worse,his past,he knew Raven wouldn't tell anyone. He knew he was going to tell her about those two items one day when they're together.
If they're together.
Robin wasn't ready to think that,he'd wanted to measure Raven's and Starfire's qualities before he'd delve into that.
Anyway,back to secrets. It would be nice to tell someone,not having to hide the pain anymore. To tell of the pain,the darkness,the emotional silence,and…the great loneliness that came with this life. More to the point he knew Raven has faced with all that pain just like he did and that she needed to tell too. He based that on what he knew or at least suspected in all honesty about the pain Raven had endured and he knew she didn't have much of a life.
Neither did he.
Maybe that's why she's attracted to him:because they're so similar,like…soulmates? Is that the proper term?
No,that can't be. He didn't believe in soulmates and all that New Age garbage but he can't ignore this.
'I don't think I can.'
Thinking of New Age he thought of Starfire. She definitely has the hippie vibe about her and as much as he hated to admit to it maybe that is one of the reasons that attracted him to her.
'She's so different.'
Her naivete and just plain wholesome image was simultaneously refreshing and irritating. A major contrast to Robin's more street smart and maybe not dark or edgy but mature approach. Especially considering being that he's seen more than she has:the dark side of human nature,the cruel turns that life makes and the pain of..just plain existing. He knew that Raven has seen that all too well.
'Have to stop thinking about her.' He admonished himself.
Anyway,Starfire's wholesomeness was one of the key components in gluing the Titans together. Between Cyborg's competitiveness,Beast Boy's need for attention,Raven's seriousness,and Robin's drive to punish the wicked,Starfire was the light that bound them together. As apparently he found out or rather told to by Starfire when she went after the time-distorting criminal Warp and disappeared into the indigo vortex he made. He was shocked particularly with his future identity Nightwing. He wished he didn't know. Now within the past year sometimes late at night he thinks about the life choices he's going to make to either avoid it or succumb to it. Maybe he'll ask Raven to mindwipe that for him and hopefully stop the unnecessary headaches it's creating. Batman always hated knowing the far future as it completely negates the concept of free will. Everything is pre-ordained so why bother changing and redeem yourself when you're going to be damned anyway?
Robin hated when he talked like that and thought it was all folderol but now he understood why. A sudden thought occurred to him:With a name like Nightwing,that will sure definitely make Raven wet for him.
'Damn it! Have to stop that!' he admonished himself yet again. He was becoming surprised and a little angry that his thoughts keep coming back to Raven.
Another feature of Starfire's was she came with family. Pretty much loving on the whole with the exception of the psychotic Blackfire of course. For someone who had a family and then lost it,it's a blessing.
Starfire never introduced him to her family. He often wondered what their reaction would be to Starfire being with a human. If they're traditional as he suspected,based on what she said about them,they would no doubt disowe her or recall her and take away her position on the royal family.
That was everything to Starfire. The way she talked about being a princess,she said it with…love,with great care. Robin often wondered if push came to shove would Starfire give up her royal title and all it came with it for him?
He doubted it. She cared about it too damn much and he certainly wouldn't expect her to give all it up.
'Doesn't sound like you have much faith in her.' His conscience said.
'Guess I don't.' he thought morosely.
His mother once said and he heard parts of that phrase all over that "Love has no bountries. If she truly loves you or you truly love her then you both should have no problems giving up what's holding you back for each other." It was one of the last things she said before her…accident. He always took it to heart and always used it in relationships,thinking how far he would give up for the girl and the reverse. He used it with Starfire and wondered if how far would he give up and more than that how far would she?
'I think I would but I know she wouldn't. That title is just too important to her.'
'Alright. What about Raven?'
Robin thought long and hard. Raven didn't have much attachment,she was a free agent. Come and go as she pleased. If anything,the only thing that's holding her back was her own fears.
'What Raven can't do that? What if she can't let go?'
'She let go a good deal just a few hours ago. She released that precious control of hers for you. Don't forget that.' His conscience countered.
True,she did let go…for him. But the better question was…why? What does she see in him?
'You'll find out tomorrow night.'
'Yeah but what if I don't feel anything for her? She'll be crushed. And God knows what will happen with her powers?'
'You obviously feel something for her or you wouldn't thinking about her this much.'
'Well I never had the most antisocial person I've ever met like me before.'
'What if she loved you instead of like? Like you were thinking before? Would that change things?'
'I don't know that.'
'Not until you ask. Why? Are you afraid to love her?' his conscience questioned.
'It's not that easy. Anytime I love someone I end up losing them or hurting them. I don't want to do that to Raven.'
'That's the risk in going into any relationship with someone. The point is you help them overcome their fears and they in turn help you overcome yours and you both be better people for it. You've always chided Raven for being antisocial and having fears. Now she's willing albeit somewhat to ask for your help. You know how damn stubborn she is. You should on your knees thanking God for this opportunity.'
'Because she's opening up to you,idiot! Being with her will then in turn open you up.'
'W…What if it doesn't? Then we'll both be miserable.'
'What it does and you both will be happy?'
'I don't know how to be happy.'
'Neither does Raven but then she's never known but you used to. Teach her to be happy and the satisfaction that comes from her being happy will in turn make you happy and…together.'
'Why are you pushing this so much?'
'Because you both deserve to be happy. And I know you'll never get that from Starfire.'
'What if I can be?'
'Because if you were you wouldn't thinking about Raven so damn much. You can hide the truth from everyone as much as you want but you can't hide from yourself.'
Robin said nothing. His conscience proved its point.
'I wish I knew the depth of her feelings but from what I saw they must run pretty deep. The question is would this be a long-term or short-term. Like a fling she wants to do?'
'You know Raven. She would not do a fling. Starfire on the other hand would though.'
True,Raven took everything very seriously,so logically she would take a relationship very seriously as well. Starfire on the other hand took things in a mostly light-hearted tone as experienced in their relationship,so…'So the evidence speaks for itself.' His conscience said.
'It certainly does.' Robin thought after sucking in a breath.
'So what are you going to do?'
'I guess wait until tomorrow night and hopefully find out how deep Raven's feelings are and go from there.'
'And what if they are deep? Will you act on them?'
Robin thought nothing.
'You know you'll be up all night thinking about her? Right?' his conscience smirked.
'I know. Damn.'
But he thought further,Cyborg and the rest of the Titans arrived in the hangar. Cyborg and Beast Boy approached him.
"Sorry,we're late. Control Freak on the loose again." Cyborg groaned.
"I believe One Eye would pull the same trick twice. Maybe he's getting senile or something." Beast Boy quipped.
"It doesn't matter. He's stopped anyway. Looks like Beast Boy,you were right." Robin said.
"I love those five words:'Beast Boy,you were right.'. Music to my ears. Can't wait to tell Raven." Beast Boy walked away but called back.
"How it go? Anything happen?"
Robin thought for 30 seconds. "No. Nothing happened." He said remembering his promise to Raven.
"Cool. See ya." And he left.
"Looked like you were going to say something else. Anything bugging ya?" Cyborg asked.
"Nothing. Nothing at all. I'll write up the report and give it to you tonight." He said and left,leaving Cyborg with a puzzled expression on his face.
Raven slammed her door and crouched behind it head at knees and thought about what happened.
'What the hell happened?'
She replayed the events in her head and watched as a crazy person took over her body.
'A crazy person…in love I think.' Her conscience said.
'You didn't act that way because you were mad at Jinx. You were mad because you nearly had someone you…care for about to be taken from you.'
Raven gave a deep sign. 'I did,didn't I?'
'You can't ignore this anymore. You have to tell him or do something before things get really out of hand.'
'Too late for that. But still it's nice…'
'Finally getting it out into the open. Now comes the hard part.'
'Whether or not he feels the same way.'
'Yes. Would he?'
'There's one way.'
'No, not him! I will not do that to him.' Raven countered. Raven could easily mind-probe Robin but she would not because of her deep respect and admiration for him and now as the years have passed she's finally added another feeling to her arsenal:Love.
'I wonder if it is love or very strong infatuation?' she wondered.
'Think of Robin and then of your interactions with him. After that you tell me if it's infatuation or not?'
Raven thought of Robin:A warmness was created within her. A warmness she thought she was never allowed to experience because of the limitations Destiny gave her but also the limitations biology gave her as well.
'He makes me feel…warm. I've never felt that before. He makes me want to…feel. Is that right?'
'What do you think?'
Raven thought for a moment. 'He…He does. He makes me want to be alive. To be…human.'
'You are human. It's just that you've buried that part of yourself for so long you don't know how to access it anymore.'
'But how can he tap into it? What does he have that no one has?'
'He has the…knowledge. The understanding of how truly cruel life can be. You've sensed that from being around him. But more than that he's trying not to get crushed by it…like you. He's just like you.'
Raven's eyes widen with shock. 'That's not true. He can't be like me. I'm depressed. He on the other hand is happy…with her.'
'Perhaps he's using her like what you're doing to Garfield:a placeholder.'
'He wouldn't do that. Would he?'
'When you're lonely the reasons don't matter much.'
'You think he's lonely now? I've not sensed it since he's been with Starfire.'
'That's because you've dismissed all those very subtle nuances he's shown over the years. Little words he says,his body language,his dreams. Because you've been busy worring about yourself.'
'I loathe to admit this but you're right. I've been so enveloped in my own brand of depression,I've ignored him. Especially all he's done for me.'
Raven thought about all the times Robin backed her up in front of the Titans and always took what she said so seriously. But it wasn't just that…
'There were other things too. The little important things.'
One thing Raven noticed was how Robin never judged her. Never called her a freak or an abomination of nature like so many have called her in the past,including the Titans. Particularly when they first came together. He always berated them in public for doing that. Raven at the time outwardly didn't care but inwardly she was very touched by his genuine concern for her.
His concern for her has showed up in very subtle ways throughout the years:The incident with the mirror and the fact he backed off to let her solve the problem herself,his touching concern over her when she brushed minds with Terra's and felt the split-second flash of evil within her,the fact he saved her from falling when those stupid,idiotic fears of hers created from that pointless video got the better of her. And just today the fact he showed true concern over her and wanted to help with her problems with Beast Boy.
'That's all he ever does is care about me. In fact he's the only one.'
Raven thought about the various people she knew over the years and thought about how they never really cared for her in any real capacity. Her father wanted to use her for her powers,her mother couldn't stand the sight of her,Azar and her people did cared about her but more of a pet project type of way. Just focused on controlling her powers,not her. And Earth the Titans no doubt would have used her for just her powers if it weren't for Robin keeping them in line.
Robin's concern for her bled through the work as well as he gave her marital arts training on the side. He didn't like how Raven was overtly dependent on her powers to get things done. She remembered one exchange with him before they started training.
"Raven, I'm getting concerned." Robin said to her in the living room. She was sitting down on the couch reading yet another horror novel.
"About what?" she said shutting the book.
"The way you battle. You've been using your powers too much lately."
"I don't see why you're so concerned. My powers get the job done." She said in a rising anger tone.
"That they do. But what if you lose them? Then what are you going to do?"
"That will never happen. I—"
"But what it does happen? You'll be defenseless. You'll get hurt. I don't want you getting hurt." Robin interrupted with a caring tone to his voice.
Raven looked at him with shock. She couldn't think of an appropriate response.
"Please Raven,let me help you. I can make it so that your body keeps up with your whipsmart mind but only if you trust me."
Raven looked at him uncertain.
"I won't tell anyone. And you can certainly can't do anyone better than me… at this type of training anyway. So what do you say?" Robin added in a caring tone he added just for her. He certainly didn't talk that way with Starfire based on what little she's seen.
"Alright. But if I don't like what I see, then we stop. Got that?" she said finally.
"Of course. But don't worry. You can easily pull this off one-two-three. I believe in you." He said offering his hand.
Raven wasn't used to positive encouragement and looked at him strangely but she took his hand.
"Let's hope I believe in me as well."
That was really the first time she saw him in a different light. She was used to being used,ignored,and shunned. To actually be appreciated,encouraged,and just plain cared about was nothing Raven was used to. Even though Starfire tried to do the same thing in her own clumsy,heavy-handed way,it wasn't the same. Certainly when compared to Robin's very subtle and very special way.
'He certainly makes a girl feel special doesn't he?' she inwardly smirked.
'True,but not in the way that makes you feel used or dirty.'
'No,he doesn't.' Raven said in a slightly elated tone still floating in the positive emotions that Robin has created within her.
'Are you still going to tell me that this is infatuation?' her conscience asked.
Raven thought long and hard. Robin was the first person she met who didn't call her a freak,the first person that showed actual concern for her and her well-being,the first person to treat her like an equal instead of a servant,the first person who without even knowing it got past the barriers she has built since birth,the first person to see her cry and didn't make her feel ashamed,the first person who…who makes her want to live instead of just living.
'I…I…' she stuttered.
'Say it. Say it!' her conscience screamed.
"I…I love him." She said in a quiet whisper.
'Finally,now we wait.'
'Wait for what?'
'Wait for him to make his move.'
'But I want to tell him now.' She said feeling impulse for the first time.
'No. Give him time. He needs time to think. To think about the choice he has to make.'
'But I want…'
'You've waited four years for this moment. You can wait one more day.'
'You're right. God this is exhausting. I'm going to sleep.' Raven acquisied and got up to go to bed.
"Raven,you in there?" a juvenile voice asked through the door.
'Damn. I forgot.' Raven thought. "Yes,Garfield?"
Raven thought that she wasn't fine,that the secret she clung to her heart for four miserable years was finally unleashed and may end up destroying five friendships and so much more.
"I'm fine Garfield. Just tired." She lied.
"Can I come in?"
"No. I'm about to go to sleep. Sorry."
"It's alright. Still on for tomorrow?"
"Tomorrow?" she said while searching her mind for clues to what he was talking about.
"The comic shop. You said you would go with me tomorrow since I went to your poetry slam last week." Beast Boy replied.
'Oh yeah.' "I did say that didn't I? Alright fine,I'll go." Raven replied.
"Great. Oh and Raven? Please wear something other than your leotard."
"Fine. Off you go." Raven said as she collapsed on the bed.
"Ok. See you at dinner?" Beast Boy asked.
"Maybe. Off you go." She said before falling asleep.
She never did come to dinner. She slept and dreamt. Dreamt about her and Robin. Robin on the other hand skipped dinner also and lied on his bed,eyes open,staring at the ceiling thinking…about Raven.
"You turn the page and then you wash your hands. And then you turn the page and then you wash your hands." Beast Boy said to Raven while reading a comic book by the counter at his rather unimpressive
comic shop. Raven leaned on the counter wearing a black T-Shirt showing a bloody pentagram and black jeans filled with chains with belt buckles on her neck and wrists. Beast Boy was wearing a purple T-Shirt and jeans.
'This is payback for them listening to my mantra,I just know it.'
The new comics were usually in late morning so Beast Boy dragged her out of bed. Normally that would piss off Raven but then again she wasn't exactly looking forward to see Robin after yesterday so she took it
as a mixed blessing. But then she'd rather deal with Robin and the tension than listening to this mantra she heard for the past hour. Anymore and her head will explode.
Or make someone else's.
"And then you turn the page and then—" Raven grabbed his hand.
"You've made your point clear and now for the love of Groudon,stop. I can't take any more." She growled.
Beast Boy looked at her like a deer caught in headlights.
"Ok,I'll shut up." Raven let go of his hand.
"Thank you." She said in a soft tone.
'I wonder if Robin would do this to me? No. I know he wouldn't.' Raven thought.
'Enough. Raven,let it go.' Her conscience commanded.
'Fine.' "Are you done?" she asked.
"Yeah,I'm done." He grabbed his comics and they left,brushing aside two male teenagers. One was dressed in a white T-Shirt and jeans and a mullet hairstyle. The other was overweight and wore all black.
"And the elf amazons are unlike any other woman in comics. They're beautiful and they can wield a mean axe. Mortal women just can't compare to them." The mullet-headed one said.
"Wow…you're an idiot." The overweight one replied in an awed tone in his voice.
"So you want to go to the pizza point?" Beast Boy asked.
"Fine." And with that they walked to the pizza point.
"So Raven,to quote you 'Anything been eating at your soul lately'?" Beast Boy asked.
"Raven…" Beast Boy looked at her dubiously.
"It's just that…" she thought long and hard about what her response would be. She couldn't tell him the truth,it would in all likelihood devastate him. As much as the changeling irritated the hell out of her she couldn't break his heart like this. Besides if she was going to do that she better know damn sure what Robin's feelings were before doing anything. To give herself a parachute in case of his likely reaction which is rejecting her.
"I hate parachutes." She slipped out.
"I'm sorry. It's just my battle with Jinx was more damaging than I thought it would be. She said some vicious things and I've been thinking about it ever since." She lied with a tinge of truth in it. She would havebeen thinking about what the gothic H.A.E.Y.P. agent said to her if it weren't for the visions of Robin swimming through her head and right now that's the only thing keeping her going.
"What did she say?" Beast Boy asked.
"Nothing much. I've slough it off."
"Alright,alright. She said the only way I'd be with somebody is forcing them to with my powers. That and she made a body joke or two." She hated to dredge that up but felt it was necessary to evade the real issue going on in her mind.
"I'm sorry Raven. Want me go and kick her ass?"
'How thuggish but…sweet.' She thought.
"No you don't need to,my scrawny body can more than deal with her." She demurred.
"I think you don't have a scrawny body. I think you have a really hot body. Way hotter than hers or anyone else's." Beast Boy cheered.
"Rather guttural but thank you for the compliment." Raven said not used to a postitive endorsement about her body.
"You're welcome. We're almost there. Race ya." Beast Boy said as he ran the restaurant.
"Oh please. Why run when you can teleport?" Raven said before she disappeared in a flash of indigo light.
"That's what I get for trying to race with a psychic." Beast Boy groaned as he ran towards the restaurant.
Raven materialized at the second floor and got their usual table. She kept thinking about tonight.
'Will he feel the same way that I do? Even in the slightest? A small chance is better than no chance at all. And what about Starfire? Will he dump her or stay with her? One thing is for certain,I can't keep this up. Not with him floating in my mind all the time. I'm sorry,Garfield but your days are numbered. I can't do this. I can't.'
Beast Boy arrived winded and sat down.
"Why do you do things like that?" he nearly screamed or would have if he weren't so winded.
"To see your reaction. For amusement." Raven replied in a near smirk tone to her.
"Well was it? Amusing?" Beast Boy asked.
"Somewhat." A waitress came and took their order:a meatless pizza of course.
"You know maybe we should do this with Rob and Star sometime soon." Beast Boy asked.
'Oh Lord please no. Anything but that.' Raven internally pleaded.
"I don't think so." She said.
"Oh come on! It will be fun." Beast Boy said with an amused tone to his voice.
"No." she nearly growled.
"Raven you have to compromise on some things. You know,give and take and all that crap. So c'mon…"
Raven thought fast. She had to find a way to make him drop this but not in a way that tipped her hand. She then had a flash of inspiration. Now if only he's stupid enough to fall for it…
"Garfield,let me put it this way. In every relationship there should be room for an irrational demand or two. Just one condition or item that one says irrationally of course and the other does it or doesn't do it throughout the course of the entire relationship. Alright?" she said praying that it would work.
"Yeah,ok. Umm…does this have to with Robin and Starfire?" he asked.
Raven scrambled. "The item can not be scrutinized. It is by definition irrational."
"And mine is no double date with Robin and Starfire." Raven stated.
"And ya sure this is how you want to use up your demand?" Beast Boy asked.
"Yes,I've thought it out through and through--Irrationally of course."
"Ok Rave,if that's how you want to use it,fine by me." He replied.
"Thank you,Garfield." Raven softly replied.
The waitress returned with their pizza and they devoured it quickly or at least Raven did. She just wanted this hoopla to end.
"Man,you're just the pizza monster aren't you?" Beast Boy observed.
"Roar." Raven gave in a slightly playful tone.
They were getting ready to leave when a couple entered the floor:A male teenager with long raven hair and
onyx eyes wearing all blue and a female early adult with blonde hair wearing a white T-Shirt and jeans. Raven immediately recognized the male:he was Aqualad,the quite attractive teenage telepath from Atlantis. As much as she loathes to admit it she was somewhat smitten of the handsome telepath. That was before the thoughts of Robin entered her heart. Besides from what she sensed he had an arrogance about him which she thought was an extreme turnoff. It's one of the reasons she resented Beast Boy at the beginning and maybe,maybe if he got rid of it…
'Then we might have a chance.'
'No you wouldn't. They're too extreme. You couldn't be with either one and you know it. Robin on the other hand isn't like that at all. He's in the middle. Balanced. Just right. Was there any other choice you could make? Both then and now?' her conscience asked.
'No. There isn't.' she replied then concentrated on the girl,she's never seen her before.
"Crap,I know her." Beast Boy whispered to her.
"Her name is Bethany Snow. Used to date her for quite a while." He said with a grudging tone to his voice.
'Oh,great. I get to meet the ex.' Raven inwardly groaned.
Aqualad recognized them and they went to Beast Boy and Raven's table.
"Beast Boy. What's up?" Aqualad asked extended his hand in a high five motion.
"Just chillin'. Whatcha' ya doing in our neck of the woods?" Beast Boy replied,returning to the motion.
"Decided to see what's so great about the surface. Bethany works for the city and she's showing me around town." Aqualad replied.
"Hello Gar." Bethany said in a slightly annoyed tone.
"Beth. Why are you here? Hungry?" Beast Boy asked in a amusing but slightly tensed tone of voice.
"No,I wanted to show Aqualad what a cuisinart looks like. Of course we're hungry!" Bethany growled.
Raven rather liked her humor but was too busy dealing the building,intense anger inside Bethany. She sensed that Bethany did not like her,which was quickly blossoming into hatred. Raven wanted to leave before her shields were totally shattered. Normally she wouldn't care nor back down but she would need her
shields for tonight.
"Whoops. Forgot my manners. This is Raven Roth,my…girlfriend." Beast Boy said,showing a lop-sided grin. Raven noticed the pause before he said "girlfriend".
"Bethany." Raven said.
"Raven." Bethany countered. 'With a name like that,probably belongs in a cult.' Raven caught that thought.
Raven stared hard at Bethany for fifteen seconds and then said:
"Garfield,I think we better go home. I think I'm developing a headache."
"I hope it's not because of me." Bethany said in fake sincerity.
'No,but you're not helping.' Raven mentally countered and replied:
"No. It's just been a rough couple of days for me."
"Ok,but can we at least stay for a couple of minutes? I haven't talked to Aqualad in ages." Beast Boy whined.
"Fine.I'll go to the restroom." Raven lied as she got up
"And I'll go order our pizza." Bethany said before storming off. As she left she thought:
'I can't believe he's with that gothic…freak. He deserves to be with someone who can at least go out in the sunlight,not some…vampire whore.'
Raven felt hurt but wasn't surprised. Bethany would be the arrogant bitch to say or least think things like that. Beast Boy sensed this and walked up to her and put his arm around her.
"As you would say 'Ignore her'. She's just jealous." He said encouragingly but as he said that Raven picked up a feeling in his head:a feeling of satisifaction,a feeling of pride,a feeling of…triumph.
'That'll teach her for dumping me.' Beast Boy inwardly smirked.
Raven outwardly acted like nothing happened but everything was going off in her head:it was like when Beast Boy first admitted his feelings to Raven and all those emotions of his ran off in her head. Most she recognized but there was one feeling that underlined all those and she couldn't recognize it until now.
It wasn't love,it was predatoriness and she was his…trophy.
He was using her as well.
'No,it can't be. Can it?' Before Raven could think she had to find out more.
"I'm going to the restroom and I'll meet you outside." She replied and stared at Aqualad for less than two seconds and left. She knew he might pick up on her thoughts with his telepathy and ruin everything but unlike him,she's had extensive training in surpressing and masking her thoughts. She hoped her training would pay off here.
She walked inside and waited by the edge of the doorway careful not to reveal herself.
"So,Raven huh? I'm impressed." Aqualad said.
"I thought you would be. But man,being with her has been one hell of an experience." Beast Boy smirked.
"I can certainly see that. You've must have loads of fun with her."
"I wish. All she does is hide behind her books or hide behind her hood or best of all hide behind her insults. I've tried to make her smile. I've tried,and tried and,tried. But nothing! I'm getting really tired of all this." Beast Boy whined.
"It's like the chicken says 'You knew the job was dangerous when you took it'."
"Where did you heard that?"
"Ancient Atlanean expression."
"Riiight." Beast Boy said dubiously.
"Anyway,if you're getting tired of Raven shutting you out,why don't you just dump her and move on?"
"I've thought about it. If Raven were a normal girl and could take it like a normal girl then I would but I can't. You know how psycho she can be. I feel like I'm stuck. I thought it would be fun,you know? Loads of laughs,but now she's starting to make me depressed and you know that's not me." Beast Boy said reflectively.
"You're many things. Depressed is not one of them." Aqualad countered.
"I know. I wanted to do this to get Raven out of her shell and help her."
"Is that the only reason?" Aqualad asked.
"Well,showing off Raven to Bethany was a definite bonus. I guess I wouldn't mind showing off Raven a couple of more times to some of my ex-s. You know before I cut her loose."
"Or she cuts you loose." Aqualad smirked.
"Yeah." Beast Boy said dejectedly.
"Well good luck with all that,I got to go check on Bethany before she takes a pizza slicer or something and tries to cut you or Raven." Aqualad joked.
"Yeah,she can be a crazy one sometimes."
"B.B. One thing?" Aqualad asked before he walked away.
"Try not to hurt her too much."
"I won't. Later."
"Later." Aqualad said waving his hand in a goodbye gesture.
Raven teleported to the entrance and thought back about the whole exchange. He was using her too but not in the way she was using him. If anything what he was doing was worse:she was just using him as a simple substitute for Robin to end her loneliness,to maybe take away the pain,the pain she's endured for far too long. But she knew Beast Boy never knew pain,pain that her and Robin seem to share. No,he couldn't take that away without knowing about it first.
Beast Boy promised he would make her laugh and make her happy and more than that not feel alone but he missed the mark,if anything she was more alone than ever before as well as becoming more…irritated by him and his clumsy advances. She was irritated before when they were friends but now it's worse. Now she was getting downright angry and she finally began to understand why:it was because he didn't act like a mate should act like. A mate is someone who thinks of your needs before theirs. Someone to feel vulnerable to and not feel ashamed. Someone who thinks of the future not just the here and now. Someone who doesn't care about your faults and will care about you just the same. But more than anything,a mate is someone who loves you and cares about you about unconditionally. Now as Raven thought about these statements she thought two things:
One)Beast Boy hardly fits the criteria.
Two)Robin fits it very easily but only if he feels the same way.
She prayed the last statement was true. Now that Beast Boy's true intentions of being with are revealed,she can't possibly remain with him. She will not be used as a pawn or trophy or anything he had in store for her.
And if Robin rejected her then she would be the ice queen the world has thought her to be. Beast Boy finally got up with her and they walked towards the Tower.
"Sorry about all that. I didn't know Bethany would show up…especially with Aqua." Beast Boy demurred.
"No point about worrying things you can't control. I thought you knew that,being that you're with me." Raven said in an almost snippy tone.
"Sorry for not reading the Raven Roth handbook. Anything else I should know?" Beast Boy said in an annoyed tone.
"Yes,you should have 'known the job was dangerous when you took it'." Raven said angrily while a nearby window exploded.
Beast Boy's eyes widen with shock.
She heard it.
She heard every word.
"Yes I did,but don't worry I won't go too 'psycho' on you." She said reading his thoughts and began to walk away.
"Raven…" Beast Boy said and grabbed Raven's arm and was trying to think of something to say.
"Garfield,there is nothing to say. Goodbye." She pulled her arm away and kept on walking.
"Raven,I wouldn't have said those things if they weren't true."
Raven sharply turned her head and looked straight at him.
"I said those things to Aqua because I couldn't get you to say anything to me. I knew you were antisocial but I didn't know how bad."
"Stop using polysyllabic words Garfield. It does not become you." She said in an emotionlessness tone.
"Maybe so but at least I'm trying. I'm sorry I'm not as smart as you or Robin!" Beast Boy said and smacked his hand against his forehead can't believing he blurted that out.
Raven looked at Beast Boy with a pensive gaze and turned away and said something.
"I'm sorry too." She said and then teleported away leaving Beast Boy alone.
He sprinted towards the Tower.
Robin emerged from his room,still thinking about Raven. He knew he couldn't wait anymore. He had to resolve this now. Any more thinking and his stomach would dissolve. He decided to hand Cyborg his report now. If he's going to be busy with Raven,the last thing he needs would be interruptions. He saw Cyborg near the elevator and shouted to get his attention.
"Oh hey Rob."
"Here's the report about yesterday. Sorry about the lateness. I had something else on my mind." Robin said giving him an electronic notebook.
"Forget about it. I have." Cyborg scanned the report and pressed the elevator button.
"Going up?" he asked.
"As a matter of fact,I am." Robin returned and they both entered the elevator.
"Floor?" Cyborg asked.
"Sixth." Robin said. That was Raven's floor.
Cyborg turned off the notebook and asked.
"Are you sure this is all that happened?"
"Yeah. Problem?" Robin asked. He didn't like to falsify records but he would knew Raven wouldn't want the rest of the Titans to know about her recent lapse. Especially over him.
Cyborg looked straight at him at then turned away.
"No problem." Cyborg then pushed the stop button and the elevator stopped.
"What's the problem?" Robin asked.
"Are you ok? You've been out of it since you came back." He stated.
"Fine,no problem. No problem at all." Robin lied.
"Rob,come on. We've been through too much and too little for you to try and shut us out again. What's the problem? We can help. Is it Slade?" Cyborg said in a caring tone.
Robin took in a long breath and thought. "No. For once it isn't him."
"Then what is it?"
"I can't tell you…not yet anyway."
"But you are going to tell us? I don't want to go through that again."
Robin sucked in an another breath. "I will. I'll tell you tomorrow. Alright?"
"Alright. But don't you stonewall me or I'll get Raven after you again." Cyborg said,ending with his trademark light-hearted tone.
"I won't." Robin then pushed the button and started the elevator.
"Why are you going to sixth?" Cyborg asked.
"I'm going to ask Raven for some mediation exercises. Might help. Anyway,it may be a while so don't wait up on us for dinner." Robin said. He hated lying to him but for now it was a necessity. Until everything settled between him and Raven that is.
"Well she went on a date with B.B. this morning." Cyborg checked the sensor connected to his left arm.
"She's in her room now. Anyway,good luck with that. Raven looks like to be a hard teacher." Cyborg said believing Robin's excuse.
"Thanks. This is my stop. I'll see you later." The elevator stopped and chimed. The doors opened and Robin made his exit.
"Later." Cyborg said before the doors closed.
Robin walked down the long corridor and mid-way he heard a voice. A juvenile voice.
Robin hid in the shadows and eavesdropped as much as he didn't want to.
"Raven,I'm sorry. Please come out." Beast Boy said in front of her door.
"Raven,please. Let's talk about this." Beast Boy said pledingly.
More silence elapsed.
After five minutes Beast Boy begins to erupt.
"Fine! Stay in your damn room until hell freezes over! You're easier to talk to when you don't say anything anyway!" and with that he stormed out in the opposite direction of the corridor.
Robin reflected:part of him feels sadness for Raven and the fact she and Beast Boy probably have broken up and the other part rejoicing that she may be free.
Actually it's more 40/60.
Robin walked to her door and knocked softly.
"Raven,it's Robin. Can I come in?"
"Is he gone?" returned a melancholy voice.
She opened the door and had eyes full of unshed tears.
"Why are you here? I thought we weren't meeting until midnight." She asked.
"I couldn't wait anymore." Robin quickly said and was trying to motion to get in her room and she let him pass.
Robin never saw what the inside of Raven's room looked like. Dressed in dark blues,filled with mystical artifacts,it had a very mysterious and gothic touch.
'Just like Raven.'
"I was outside when I heard Beast Boy screaming. I didn't mean to…I'm sorry. Are you alright?" he said still scanning the room.
"Fine." Raven lied and sat on the center rim of the bed.
"Raven,remember last night? You were supposed to tell me everything." Robin said wanting to sit down.
Raven felt that and moved to give him room. "You're right. I think it suffice to say that Garfield and I have broken up." She said looking at the floor.
"I'm sorry." He then sat down and went to hug Raven. Raven felt like her heart skipped a beat. Another feeling which never happened before.
"Want to talk about it? I'm sure you want to." Robin said in a caring tone.
"I thought you said you couldn't wait anymore." She said when she reluctantly let go.
"You're in pain. It can keep." Robin said giving her a caring glance.
Raven thought she would melt right there. "Alright. When I first entered into this I wasn't sure if it would be a mistake or not."
"A mistake? Why do you say that?"
"Because we're felt so incompatible. At least I felt that. But I suppose I just grew tired of being lonely and he promised to make me laugh and not feel alone."
"But instead he made you depressed and lonely."
"Yes. I suppose I should have turned him down then I would be the only one feeling miserable instead of the both of us." Raven said trying her damnest not to cry.
"You needed someone,Rave. We all do eventually." Robin said in an understanding tone.
"I know,Robin but what I need someone to wake up with me every morning and not run away screaming. Someone who I can talk to for five minutes without getting on my nerves. Someone who wouldn't give a damn that I'm a demon or psychic or goth or anything else that's wrong with me and just wants me for me. Someone to…make love to me,not just have sex." She whispered the last part.
As Robin heard these he knew his path was clear:what Raven said echoed what he felt. What he truly wanted in a relationship but thought he could never have. But more than that he saw this fragile woman in pain and wanted it to end,for herself,for himself. Her pain was his pain for after all she was him and he was her. His only regret is not realizing that sooner but then he couldn't handle her. Now with the passage of time,he finally can.
"I want someone who…" as Raven said this Robin finally succumbed to his heart and bent over and kissed her tenderly. A few trinkets and a window or two were shattered but she didn't care. All she cared about was the tenderness of the kiss and the man who was doing this to her. They finally parted.
"Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!" Raven shouted.
"I liked it too." Robin said sheepishly.
"That's not funny." Raven said as she went over and kissed him again returning to the tenderness of the kiss and washing in the emotions.
As Robin and Raven kissed,they didn't think about anything:just each other. As they parted again there was one thing that entered their minds.
'What happens next?'
One)I don't know if that was angst-filled or not but definitely cerebral. I hated the fact I made Robin so wishy-washy but I needed him over why he would choose Raven. One more chapter and then we can get to the spooge.
Two)If I made Beast Boy a jerk I apologize but I needed to make his less than honorable intentions known. I chose Bethany Snow because she was a name in Teen Titans and I prefer using canon characters to original. If anyone wants to tell me the names of the love interests Beast Boy has had over the years I'll amend it and put one of them in. If not I'll leave it as is.
Three)I've a Robin/Raven Father's Day fiction in the planning stages now so that will eat up my time,not to mention calling Gateway every couple of days saying "Dude,where's my computer?" Okay I don't say 'dude' but I'm getting angry.
Four)To my two favorite correspondents(you know who you are)I thought this would be just three days but now it's three weeks. At this point in time I have NO idea when I'm getting my comp back so I'm going to leave the anonymous reviews sector open while I'm gone so you can leave your comments(believe me they don't have to be story-related). If not stay safe.
Five)I hope everyone enjoys the chapter because it was very difficult writing it.