Ch1: Yeah it does it goes all mouldy


Lord Tif and Golden Sprite: All rights reserved for all original work

Disclaimer: We do not own the characters in One Must Fall or the world
they live in. Please do not sue.


*Tony opens the fridge door and gets out two beers.

Josh - "Hurry up, they're almost ready to start." Pauses. "What are
you doing in there?"

Tony - "K, comin' I'm getting the beer."

*Josh looks over the back of the couch.

* Tony opens the fridge deciding he will need more. He gets out 8.

Josh - "Are you sure that's enough?"

* Tony closes the fridge.

Tony - "Yep, enough to get piss drunk." Looks at Josh. "Do you want

Josh - "Oh I don't know, isn't Greg coming, he likes beer, there
might not be enough." Then mutters to himself. "Where did I put my

* Josh searches couch.

Tony - "It's here in the sink. You drank it all last night."

Josh - "Man, you don't even like Vodka!" He glares over the couch back
at Tony.

Tony - "I did say you, didn't I?" Then shrugging, "No matter I'll get
you another."

* Tony opens fridge and brings out a bottle of 'Stalichniy' Vodka.

Josh - "Oh yeah, it was me." He sweatdrops. "Sorry, but you know, ever
since that time you went on a drinking spree..."

* Tony starts making his trips from the kitchen to the lounge with the

TV - This program is brought to you by, 'To drink is to live' -
Bignorlay. And Mernach - 'The next thing in tech'.

(familiar starting music of One Must Fall News Report and Live

Josh - "Sit down." He grabs the Vodka bottle.

* Tony finishes last round of collection and sits on couch next to

* Josh places the Vodka bottle on the table.

Josh - "Damn it's cold. Why do we keep Vodka in the fridge?"

Tony - "Cause it would go off after a while, plus who drinks warm

Josh - "Vodka doesn't go off."

Tony - "Yeah it does it goes all mouldy." He considers that for a
moment "Or is that soft drink."

Josh - "Soft drink. And I like my alcohol warm."

Tony - "Well yeah, but if we have it out, I might drink it when I'm

* Josh frowns.

Tony - "Did it once." Thinks for a bit. "That reminds me of that funky
water I drank." He shivers.

* Josh grabs Vodka and cradles it to him.

* Josh shivers and quickly puts it back down.

Josh - "Man that's cold." Thinks back to the comment earlier. "Just
think of it as water then. It sure looks like it."

Tony - "Yeah."

Josh - "Here." He grabs a black texter off the table and writes
'WATER' on the label.

Tony - "It's on, shhhh." He grabs one of the beers.

* Josh looks up at the TV.

TV (reporter) - Tonight we are going to show the live footage of this
brilliant match between Jean Paul and Raven. But before that, a news
flash on the battle between Crystal and Edward where Edward accuses
Crystal of cheating!

Josh - "Oh man, he's just pissed because he lost."

* Tony spits out his drink

Tony - "What! Cheating!"

Josh - "Bit slow on the up take today, are we?"

Tony - "Just sunk in. Cheating." He shakes his head. "Crystal wouldn't

TV reporter - ...apart from accusing her of cheating by using boosts
with different powers for the robot, he also accuses her of Theft,
Sabotage and Slander...

Tony - "Good Lord! He's throwing the whole book at her."

* Tony drinks the rest of the beer bottle in one shot and rolls it
towards a wall

* Josh looks towards the door nervously.

Josh - "Where is he? He'd hate to miss the finals."

Tony - "Not to worry. There 'aint anything good on because Mr. Edward
is throwing a hissy fit. He will be in time for the match."

* Josh shakes his head.

Josh - "The eternal optimist. You remember when you said Frederic
would go all the way to the top this year?"

Tony - "Yep. And he failed in the preliminaries. But there is always
next year."

* Josh shakes his head and goes to open the Vodka bottle.

TV reporter - And now for the match that you've all been waiting for.
The final of the American Championship...

* Three beer bottles are lying near the wall and a forth is being
rolled to join them.

* A man with long brown hair, dressed like a plumber rushes in, slams
the door closed, sits on the couch between the two friends, grabs and
opens a beer, and focuses on the TV.

Greg - "Am I late?"

Tony - "Shhhh. Greg you are spoiling the start of the match." He
pauses for a second. "Hang on! Hey Greg you MADE it!"

*Greg smirks.

Josh - "Shhhh."

TV (Electronic referee) - 3, 2, 1 Fight!

TV Commentator - And off they go! Jean on the Shadow sure is pressing
his advantage early, isn't he Bob?

TV Com. Bob - Sure is Remy, starting with a trip is what I call style.

TV Com. Bob - Ooooo. That has got to hurt! Jean is toast!

Tony - "Nooooo! Jean get up! Get up!"

Greg - "He's finished."

TV Com. Remy – Ouch! Did you see that! Raven just grabbed Jean AGAIN
and has fried him with his Pyros' Flame boosters! Man Jean is not
having a good day.

* Josh nods

Josh - "He's literally toast."

TV Com. Bob - Here it comes. (Sighs) The inevitable.

*The Shadow is hit in the head with a punch and it falls to the ground

Tony - "Damn it, Jean! Why?!"

Josh - "Well, that was an exciting ten minutes."

Tony - "That is the last time I root for Jean."

Josh - "That's what you said last time."

Tony - "Yeah. But last time I was drunk. Hang on, I think I'm drunk
this time too."

* Tony unsteadily drifts from side to side

* Josh looks over at the small pile of beer bottles by the wall.

Josh - "Yeah."

* Josh takes a swig of his Vodka.

Josh - "I have to catch up."

*Greg grabs the Vodka bottle

Josh - "Hey!"

Greg - "Me too."

*Greg takes a swig.

* Mr Raah McBillion turns off the TV

Dr Mooyu - "So that wasn't half bad. I thought my Crystal
was in a bit of a jam."

Mr Raah McBillion - "Yeah, pity all we've got is this wall
size digital TV." He sighed. "I hear live action is much

Dr Mooyu - "Yes the view from the rich box with all the different
angled cameras is superb."

Mr Raah McBillion - "About that, I have a feeling I'll soon
be joining you."

Dr Mooyu - "Really when did this come about?"

Mr Raah McBillion - "It hasn't yet, but it's full proof."

Dr Mooyu - "Ah yes full proof, be careful using that term. Once I
thought an experiment was that, and what did I get? Of course,

Mr Raah McBillion - "People are much more predictable than
machines. Besides, lady luck has yet to let me down."

Dr Mooyu - "Yes lady luck... anyway are you going to tell me of
this full proof plan or am going to have to wait and see?"

Mr Raah McBillion - "Ah, well, I don't see why not. Just
wait a sec."

* Mr Raah McBillion searches the couch, finds a remote, clicks it at the TV, security cameras pop up. He looks at the different cameras, then clicks again.

* The two are faced with a computer screen, with many
different functions.

* Mr Raah McBillion clicks on 'scan perimeter'.

TV - Scan in progress.

*Shows a screen saver of a chubby bamboo chewing panda.

Dr Mooyu - "A little on the paranoid side are we? That
secret eh?"

Mr Raah McBillion - "Touché. I've been to your lab, you

TV - Scan complete. Perimeter clear.

* Mr Raah McBillion turns the TV off, and shoves the remote
back into the couch.

Dr Mooyu - "But that's different. It's about top secret genetic
mutation projects and this is just a scheme to get in the rich
room. I mean you could just back anyone, you know?"

Mr Raah McBillion - "No, I don't think so. I have a

*His eyes sparkle brightly.

Dr Mooyu - Mutters to himself, "Not again" Then says out loud to
his friend. "Well what happened to your 'feed all the mice in the
world' dream? And the 'cabbage in the desert' dream? My big
question is how does this dream differ from the last?"

Mr Raah McBillion - "Ah, but it is as I have said, this is
full proof." He thinks for a moment, "Besides, it's hardly
as pointless as those last dreams. A seat in the rich box
at all the tournaments is much more my thing."

Dr Mooyu - "... well nothing is full proof you know..."

Mr Raah McBillion - "I already have the bot. All I need is
an amazingly talented, undiscovered pilot who can do what
nobody else had done to date - master the Jaguar." Regards
his friend conclusively, "See? Full proof."

Dr Mooyu - "Yes. Hahaha! Now where will this pilot come from, one
of my gene factories perhaps? Anyway, I bet even if you got a
willing pilot who's good enough, he won't beat the world
Championships in one year."

Mr Raah McBillion - "Oh really?! What do you say to backing
that statement? In one year, my pilot will be world

Dr Mooyu - "Fine. The usual wager?"

Mr Raah McBillion - "Done and done. I lost on those
cabbages and I am not going to repeat the experience."

Dr Mooyu - "Yes, but to be fair your mice scheme worked. Although
they were hunted down afterwards for spreading too far."

Mr Raah McBillion - "Yeah, ta for that genetically altered

Dr Mooyu - "Well of course the bet stated I give you all the help
you need... I walked right into that one."

Mr Raah McBillion - "My fiend," He shakes his head, "Always
read the fine print. That's how I won that car accident

Dr Mooyu - "You see I usually write the fine print not read

Mr Raah McBillion - "I make a point of never being caught
in my own traps. It helps, you know?"

Dr Mooyu - "Well yes. By the way can I borrow your hover
limo tomorrow? My driver being an incompetent buffoon that
he is, crashed mine."

Mr Raah McBillion - "Sure, I just have to get it from the
shop. The pole incident, remember? Hey, want to come see
the Jaguar test? I still have to see if the blasted things
work. I got them for free from the dump."

Dr Mooyu – "Yes. Sure hope it doesn't fall apart on you
though..." He smirks.

Mr Raah McBillion - "That's why I have two." He smirks.
"We're gonna test them at the army base. You know, the one
where you did that thing that time?"

Dr Mooyu – "Oh... yes." He smiles in his memories, "The head
officer still owes me a favour."

Mr Raah McBillion - "The base just happens to be near the
car repair place, we can go by there on the way back. We'll
have to catch the train up though. It's been a while since
I caught the train." He smiles happily.

Dr Mooyu - "You didn't do anything fishy to get it tested there?"
he frowns, "Nothing to do with my favour I did have plans for it

Mr Raah McBillion - "Oh no, as it so happens, the man owes
me a favour. He got that star of honour for battling the
mice. I gave him that genetic Neuro-gas you gave me just in
case things got as out of hand as they did." He reflects
for a minute, "Those mice were rather large. Good thing
they got it under control. Ha! I caused a worldwide mice
epidemic! You know, I would so make a brilliant evil
genius. "

Dr Mooyu – "Yeah they became ten foot giants. Pity. I would love
to know why they grew up so quickly... Funny how they only sat
around and didn't do much to terrorize apart from eating all the
crops etc."

* Mr Raah McBillion grins

Mr Raah McBillion - "We make a kick ass evil team." He
sighs, "Pity we're so nice."

* Mr Raah McBillion's grin suddenly shows too much teeth.

Mr Raah McBillion - "And so sane."

Dr Mooyu - "Hmm, all of that because of a bet. Nice maybe,
sane... maybe not."

* Mr Raah McBillion gestures magnanimously

Mr Raah McBillion - "Ah, but sanity is so dull, and a genius
cannot be sane."

Dr Mooyu - "Not when they become creative." He grins darkly.

* Mr Raah McBillion grins back

*Just then, a portly but surprisingly young (mid twenties)
butler comes in.

Jeeves - "Dinner is served."

Mr Raah McBillion - "Let's eat."