Disclaimer: This is a very demented fic, I don't own anything although Auron should be mine. SORRY FOR ANY OOC. Please don't drink milk while reading this as it may end up on your keyboard (excreted through nose).Thank you. On with the show:

The Poof Parade, Round 1:

Normally, Tidus (Weird clothed dude) would wake up and practice his Blitzball skills with Wakka (Spiky haired dude). But this morning was different, as he slowly sat up, he thought about the events of the day ahead. 'Ah yes, first I shall ......mmm...chocolate...chocolate chocobo feathers...mmmm *drool*'. "Hey Weird clothed dude, wake up ya?" Wakka whispered in Tidus' ear, "Huh, Spiky haired dude, what do you want?" He replied, slowly wiping away the drool from his cheeks. "Wake up ya today's the big day!" Wakka said, and laughed. Tidus sprang out of bed and landed on the floor, "My Wedding!" He screamed hysterically. "How could I forget my wedding!!" He curled up into a ball and started crying. Wakka had a giant anime sweat drop running down his face. "Um, it was just a joke ya, to get you up I mean" He whispered slowly, trying to hide his laughter, with that Tidus jumped and and regained his composure. "Yeah I mean, yeah of course it was a joke...But, I was prepared for it see, um, yeah!" Tidus frantically tried to think of an excuse for crying in front of Wakka, but failed. "Yeah, so, hmmm...How much Gil do we have?" Tidus asked, "122 million I think... hmmm, let me go check ya" Wakka magically poofed out. Tidus blinked slowly and frowned, "ooooookay...... Hey can I do that???" He jumped around the room trying to disappear but only managed to break a vase and trip over the moogle on the floor . "ohhh, I wanna do that, life is so unfair, dad I hate you!" He fell over and started crying again. Suddenly, Auron magically poofed in, "hmmmm, hmmfhhmgf gmhh hmmpf" he whispered from behind his coller. Tidus blinked again, "...What are you talking about old man?" He asked the Ex-legendary guardian. "WHHH,HHMPF FFHNMOP HMMP!!" Auron screamed and started charging at Tidus, Who had promptly left the room when Auron had turned red. When Wakka suddenly poofed back in and found nobody home, so he quickly got out his camera and rushed out to look for Lulu...

Meanwhile... "AHHHHHHH" Tidus screamed as Auron swung his sword and muttered unknown curses behind him, "huunnppfff funpppb take that back hppgmnpf" Auron shouted to the blonde man in front. Tidus stopped, "OHH! You talked!" He danced in a circle around Auron, until he was met with a blow to the head with a giant overgrown plastic sword. It bent. Auron blinked at his bendy sword, "I thought I ordered REAL dammit!... This is it...Where is my agent??" He stormed off and killed all the directors of this fic (except me, 'cos I am the author after all). Tidus was starting to have seizures for blinking too much. Wakka poofed in with his camera and looked around, "Lu, where are you gorgeous?" He called to the air, when he got no reply he sighed and poofed back out. Tidus blinked yet again. He shook his head and walked out of the small house in Luca, then looked around. Hmm, Sphere break, people talking, more people talking, Yuna, more people...He stopped and turned around, "Yuna?" He called out to the High summoner-turned sphere hunter, "Hey Yuna, its me! The weird clothed guy!" He ran through the crowds and stood where Yuna had been standing, ".........Huh?" was all he could say. Then, Yuna poofed in, "Hey weird dressed guy" she said to him, and winked. Tidus's mouth was dragging on the floor as he walked up to her, "uurh uheeh uurhh" his top lip said. Yuna sighed and shoved his bottom lip back up to the top, "There" She said while admiring her handy work. Tidus rubbed his jaw, "Aww thanks, that is so embarrassing when that happens you know" He said as he slowly started stroking his..................CHIN.(a/n...sorry this is only a PG fic.. go somewhere else). Yuna smiled and poofed out, leaving Tidus to ponder all this poofing business...

Meanwhile... Auron was sat at a table with Lulu sitting opposite, Lulu was the first to speak, "Well Sir Auron, you sure have a taste for restaurants don't you?" She asked while tucking into her Shoopuf Shishkobab, "I know which ones have discounts." Was all he said. Suddenly, Lulu started choking, "*cough *cough* Help *cough *cough*" And with that, she fell on the floor, dead. Auron blinked, "Do I still have to pay for her meal?"

TBC...... CHAPTER 2 COMING SOON.....