The... NEW author: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Heh... Enjoy

Disclaimer: The song contained in the first part of Bakura's authoring stint is a remake (fear the word) of the song "Elvis is Everywhere" by Mojo Nixon. This song is a beautiful thing, and also a parody... But please... If it's in your power... Find the lyrics or the song. Because having it makes THIS all the funnier. I promise the next chappie will make more sense for people who haven't heard the song. But please... Try to enjoy it. It's just lovely.

Bakura's lyrics in regular print and the other characters in bold


When I look out into your eyes out there,

When I look out into you're faces,

You know what I see?

I see a little bit of Bakura in each and everyone of ya out there, Lemme tell ya! WELL...................

Emergency A/N: Our heroes enter just in time to see Bakura's little diddy begin...

(Chorus)

Bakura is Everywhere!

Bakura is Everything!

Bakura is Everybody!

Bakura is still the King!

Yami: No he's not I AM!!!!

Man oh man what I want you to see,

Is that Bakura lives off of you and Meeeee!

Ryou: Well yeah.....

Bakura is Everywhere man!

He's in Everything!

He's in Everybody!

Bakura is in your genes!

Camera: Pans to Bakura-endorsed jeans

He's in your cheeseburgers!

Bakura is in nutty buddies!

Camera: Pans to Nutty Buddies with Bakura's face on the wrapper. Random people scream

Bakura is in your MOM!

Yami: Pardon?!

He's in Everybody!

He's in the Young- Camera: Pans to Mokuba

The Old- Camera: Pans to Yugi's Grandpa

The fat- Camera Pans to Kaiba's "Yami" in the 2nd season

The skinny- Camera Pans to Yami

Yami: GLARE!

The white the black the brown

AND RYOU!!!!

Ryou: ::mushroom sigh::

People got Bakura in them too!

Bakura is in everybody out there!

EVERYBODY'S got Bakura in them!

Everybody except one person that is,

Yeah one person!!!

The boring fortunate opposite of Bakura.....The ANTI-BAKURA....

Anti- Bakura got no Bakura in 'im lemme tell ya.

::PAUSE::

George W. Bush got no Bakura in him....OH!!

And Bakura is in Joan Rivers, but he's trying to get out man!

He's trying to get out!!

Listen up Joanie Bab-eh!!

Bakura is Everywhere!

Bakura is Everything!

Bakura is Everybody!

Bakura is still the King!

Man oh man what I want you to see,

Is that Bakura lives off of you and Meeeee!

Malik: See I told you he was a parasite.

Man, there's a lot of unexplained phenomenon out there in the world.

Lot of things people say What the heck's going on?

Let me tell ya!

Who built the pyramids?

BAKURA!!

Yami: NO! I did!!!

Who built Stonehendge?

BAKURA!

Yeah man you see guys walking down the street

Pushing shopping carts

You think they're talkin to Re

Or they're talking to themselves

Nah man they're talking to Bakura!

Tea, Mai, and Serenity: Bakura! Bakura!

Bakura: ::tents fingers and grins::

(Yami and Kaiba are horrified)

Kaiba: Somebody knock me out!!!!

Yami: ::PUNCH!::

Kaiba: OW! Deadgumit!! I'm NOT UNCONCIOUS!!!!! ::Chokes Yami::

And you what's happen down in the Bermuda Triangle?

Down in that Bermuda Triangle

Tea, Mia, Serenity: Bakura needs boats! Bakura needs Boats! BAAKKUUUUUUUURRA NEEDS BOATS!!!!!

Yami: No he DOESN'T!!!!!

Ah the sailing Bakura!

Captain Bakura!

Commodore Bakura it is!

::pictures illustrate::

Yeah man and you know people from outer space?

People from outer space, they come up to me!

They don't look like Dr. Spock!

They don't look like Klingons all that Star Trek jive!

They look like Bakura!

Girls: Bakura!!!

::Little Green Chibi Bakuras come out of a space ship::

Everybody in outer space looks like Bakura!

Because Bakura is a perfect being!

We're all moving in blissful intoxication toward Bakuraness!

Kaiba: I'm not gonna live to see this!!! I'll make sure of it!! ::sticks gun to head::

Yami: No! There's only one bullet left and it's MINE!!! ::wrestles Kaiba for gun::

SOON ALL WILL BECOME BAKURA!!!!!!

Everything... Everywhere... Will be Bakura

Why do you think it's called Yu-Gi-Oh! Anyway?

Yami is only the main character because Bakura LETS HIM BE!!

It's really Ba-Ku-Ra-Oh!!

Ba-Ku-Ra-Oh!!

Bakura is Everywhere!

Bakura is Everything!

Bakura is Everybody!

Bakura is still the King!

Man oh man what I want you to see

Is that Bakura lives off of you and Meeeee!

That's right ladies and gentlemen, THE TIME HAS COME!!!!

Yami and Kaiba: 0.0!!! NOOOOOOO!

The time has come to talk to that little bit of Bakura inside of you.

Talk to it!

Call it up!!!!

Kaiba: NO! ::waves franticly::

Yami: Don't do it!

Both: It's a trap!!!!

Say "Bakura! Heal me!

Save me Bakura!

Let me be born again in the perfect Bakura light"

Bakura Zombies: BBBBBBWWWAAAAAHHHHAAAAAA!

Yami: We're powerless to stop it!

Isis/Ishuizu: Now the fate of the world is at stake!!!

Bakura is Everywhere!

Bakura is Everything!

Bakura is Everybody!

Bakura is still the King!

Man oh man what I want you to see

Is that Bakura lives off of you and Meeeee!

(Chorus fades out with Yami Bakura running acorss the globe, laughing maniacally)


The Author: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Yami: DEADGUMMIT, BAKURA, GIVE US BACK THE FREAKIN' COMPUTER!!!

The Author: NEVER!!!!!! ::crashes out the window::

Ryou: I was afraid that was going to happen...

Kaiba: WELL NO ONE TOLD US!!!!

Joey: GET IM!!!!

All: ::leap out the window::

Ryou: ::sigh:: I'm starting to MISS the angst fics...


Also, the NEW ALMIGHTY AUTHOR, Yami Bakura has to thank a few of the readers...

"Heh... Thanks to all for joining my fanclub! I knew I was loved ::wink:: Thanks azuka kano, kiyoshi-wheeler, the Authoress formally known as Liz, Lady Shriannan (luv ya, Shrianne ::Bakura-like wink::), Mel (thanks for not making ME a bear in the play), Mr. Towel, and Isa (Oh, but Isa-- Why do I creep you out so much anyway? I'm a really nice little tomb robber once you get to know me ::grin::)"

See you all in chapter four!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

The REAL Authoress: So OOC... They don't have any idea of what they're doing...