Ciao, Duckies!

Title: Once Upon a Time

Pairing: Joey Wheeler/Seto Kaiba.  Minor: Malik/Ryou, Noa/Mokuba 

Rating: R

Summary: Joey is a punk with sticky fingers and a horrible report card. Seto Kaiba is the smartest kid in school, and the biggest prep. Once Joey is arrested one time too many, Kaiba is assigned to be his tutor. If Joey can't get his grades up, it's off the state juvenile penitentiary.

Dedication: To everyone who took the time to read and review this, and especially to Christina for helping me so much with it.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Seriously.

Author's Notes: Okay, this seriously is the last chapter. No, really. It will be short, too. I'm just so glad it's over. Okay, this last song is one that just seemed so perfect, you know? After this, I think I'm going to go write a song-fic ONE-SHOT because one-shots are best in my book. Okay, enjoy.

- All the old paintings on the tombsThey do the sand dance don't you knowIf they move too quick (oh whey oh)They're falling down like a domino All the bazaar men by the NileThey got the money on a betGold crocodiles (oh whey oh)They snap their teeth on your cigarette Foreign types with the hookah pipes say Ay oh whey oh, ay oh whey ohWalk like an Egyptian The blonde waitresses take their traysThey spin around and they cross the floorThey've got the moves (oh whey oh)You drop your drink then they bring you more All the school kids so sick of booksThey like the punk and the metal bandWhen the buzzer rings (oh whey oh)They're walking like an Egyptian All the kids in the marketplace say Slide your feet up the street bend your backShift your arm then pull it backLife's hard you know (oh whey oh)So strike a pose on a Cadillac If you want to find all the copsThey're hanging out in the donut shopThey sing and dance (oh whey oh)Spin the clubs cruise down the block All the Japanese with their yenThe party boys call the KremlinAnd the Chinese know (oh whey oh)They walk the line like Egyptian All the cops in the donut shop say Walk like an Egyptian-                         -Walk like and Egyptian by The Bangles Chapter Nine: Walk Like an Egyptian Serenity's eyes could barely focus on the saltshaker two feet away from her face. It was nearly midnight, and the band had finished playing, and she was so, so tired. It seemed as though she was the only one, though. Otogi was chatting up Yugi and Tea like there was no tomorrow, and Joey was coming out of the backstage area looking all pumped and a sheen of sweat covered his face. If he weren't wearing a black shirt, Serenity would bet the wet spots would be visible. Dazedly, she watched as Joey's puppy-like eyes searched the room. She wanted to cry out 'I'm right here,' but apparently didn't need to, as he waved excitedly to someone on the other side of the room. Oh. He wasn't even looking for her. Ah. Wait. Slowly, Serenity brought a hand to her eye and tried to wipe the sleep away, and even after a few confused blinks, she realized that indeed, Joey was talking to Seto Kaiba. And Seto Kaiba was talking back. Seto pulled something out of his jeans pocket—and what tight jeans they were—and the color drained from Joey's face. Curiosity was rapidly taking over the sleepy feeling, and she tried to watch more, but a hand began rubbing her back softly. "You sleep through the show, Serenity?" Malik's silky voice was near her ear, and she offered a tired smile. "Of course not. I'm just not used to being up so..." a yawn interrupted her, "...mm, late." The Egyptian boy laughed softly, and ran his fingers through her hair. It was something her mother used to do to help her sleep, and it only served to bring on another yawn. She missed the next thing Malik said, since she had looked back to where Kaiba and Joey were. But, she realized belatedly, they weren't there anymore. They weren't anywhere in the room. Oh. Yawn. Oh, darn. "TEN THINGS I LOVE ABOUT SETO

One. Those blue eyes. I see enough purple eyes and green eyes and brown eyes every day, but his eyes are just...they stand out. And not in a buggy way, either.

Two. When other people talk to him, he doesn't listen. When I talk to him, I feel like he's actually listening, and he actually takes the time to answer me. Even though he is a smartass. It's hot on him though.

Three. Sex on a stick. That's my Seto. He dresses like a total prep, but everything hugs his body in just the right places. He's like a fucking model, right out of some fashion thing. Whatever preps read for fashion tips.

Four. He's an older brother too. Nuff 'nough said.

Five. He's really smart. Not rub-it-in-your-face smart, but ass-kicking smart. Like, you can be trying to think of something, and he'll know. He's got a fucking encyclopedia ironed inside of his brain.

Six. He's got a sense of humor. Not a once in a blue moon sense of humor, either. A really dry, sarcastic sense of humor. It helps that he's so fucking smart. It makes it that much funnier.

Seven. He doesn't make fun of my poorness...uh, is that a word? I'll have to ask him. Still, he doesn't talk about being rich. Usually I make up the jokes about shit like that. I guess that makes him considerate...or uninterested.

Eight. There this thing he does when he reads out loud. He licks his lips like every other word, and his voice it's all...well, I don't think I'd like him as much if his voice didn't change yet. Completely hot. Like the rest of him.

Nine. Most people make the unemotional thing annoying, but its hot as hell on him.

Ten. He's so sweet…YEAH RIGHT! SETO KAIBA IS THE BEST KISSER IN THE WORLD! He does this thing with his tongue, and its like...wow. Yeah. Okay."

Seto cleared his throat. "If this were for a grade, I would have taken off a considerable amount of points for the poor grammar and, I say this nicely, you have the most atrocious spelling I have ever seen."

Joey stared numbly back, his mouth working, but no sound coming out. He was horrified to see a smirk form on Seto's lips, because he could feel the drool pooling in his mouth.

"Well, Joey, what do you have to say for yourself?"

Nervous laughter bubbled up Joey's throat. He still didn't know whether Seto was angry or not. "Uh...surprise?"

"And what a surprise it was."

Kaiba offered Joey a surprise at that point. He pushed Joey back up against the wall of the alley they had moved to, and smashed their lips together. Joey mewled contentedly, and wrapped his arms around Seto's neck.

They kissed for a while, lazily, trailing their hands over one another. Finally, Seto pulled back. Joey groaned and tried to pull Seto back down, but the taller boy somehow resisted. "You know what my favorite part of this list was?"

"No, what?"

Magically, the piece of paper appeared once more (Because it certainly hadn't been in Kaiba's hand a moment ago, or Joey would have noticed) and he smiled softly at it. Joey wanted more of that smile.

Man, did he ever want more of that smile!

"The part where it says, 'Ten things I love about Seto Kaiba.'"

No words would come out of Joey's mouth. Whether it was because he didn't understand or her understood only too well, he didn't know.

Seto didn't seem to mind, though, since his cerulean gaze was on the paper. "Because you know what? Of course you don't," he murmured fondly. "Even if there was only one thing you loved about me, there would still be the smallest amount of love there."

In strangled voice, Joey finally said, "You're a really weird guy."

"But you love me," the other boy retorted.

After a moment of silence, the blond finally whispered, "Yeah, I guess I do." He then placed a hand on the back of Seto's head and pulled his boyfriend back down into a kiss.

Malik had walked out of the back of the building, and spotted the two of them. He wasn't really surprised to see a crumpled piece of paper that looked suspiciously like a list in Seto's hand.

For a few seconds, he dedicated himself to voyeurism, his lavender eyes trained on their joined mouths. "Oh, Christ," he muttered suddenly, quietly, "They love each other, they hate each other. So fucking confusing." And he went back inside.

Back at the table, Serenity slept lightly, ignorant of the fond smile Malik sent her way from across the bar. Even in her sleep, she really wanted to know what Joey and Kaiba had been talking about.

Oh, she hoped they weren't fighting again.

-END-

HAHA! Told ya it would be uber-short, didn't I?

Anyway, this is the last chapter; I am done, done, done, done!

Say it with me: Done.

I do apologize for the shortness though. Mm. I am so tired; I can totally empathize with Serenity. Even though it's like 2pm, and I slept for like 15 hours last night. Talk about your beauty sleep. I felt so fucking pretty when I woke up this morning. Just kidding, of course.

Okay. Bye. Farewell.

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