First of all, I don't own any of this. I posted this chapter again because of its stupid grammar mistakes. I corrected it a little bit at least as much as I can with my current grammar information. This was my first story ever in English and it teached me a lot of things. It gave me some inspiration to practice my English even more than I did ever before it. I know it is not perhaps best story but I want to correct my chapters now a little bit when I know a lot more how to get it better. And I still respect this story for all the things it teached me. By the way, Im looking new betareader, again. Sigh. If you think you might be interested, you are welcome to contact to me. I'm so fed up with looking new betareader every few week but I won't give up. If you are interested I need betareader especially with my other new story, Way to the dark. But, you are welcome to read this now.
End of the Dreams
Harry was looking how his friends were disappearing from the view in the train-station. For moment the Dursleys were only gaping at him, the next, Uncle Vernon was taking Harry's trunk to the back of the car. Vernon ushered them to the car that they would go as far from the freaks as was possible. Though it was too bad that they had to take one of them at home with them. When they were driving at home nobody spoke a word. The only who dared to do any noise was Hedwig hooting innocently without any inkling how much she was annoying people around her. Vernon stole some furious glances at the bird as though he would have liked to kill her at the moment. No one said a word until they got home.
Once at home, Vernon took Harry's trunk out of the car and carried it upstairs to Harry's room. What astonished Harry was that Petunia asked him if he wanted to eat and took a day old dish of meatballs and potatoes out of the fridge. Harry wondered, when was
the last time that he was given good food like that by the Dursleys. Then when he remembered earlier threat again, he almost laughed aloud but kept it silent because he didn't want to offend his relatives. Petunia was probably scared of Moody's threat, or maybe it was because of Petunia's own past, he could not tell for sure.
He was eating his own food quietly already when he looked up at Petunia. She was looking at him an odd look on her face. He was curious about what she was on, but he dared to ask nothing. The second time Petunia looked at him, their eyes met, but she lowered her head and began
to clean the kitchen again as nothing had happened.. When Harry had finished eating, he stood up and went upstairs. According to the clock, it was only nine, but Harry was very tired despite early time. He lay down on the bed on top of the cover and looked up at the ceiling in his own reverie.
Always when he was laying down all the bad things came back to him. It happened every time he was alone. He closed both eyes and he was back in the Death Chamber again. He couldn't let it happen just now, not here with his relatives. If he didn't fight they might see he was crying. Moreover, they would have a new weapon to use with him if they found out that Sirius was dead. However, he had lost the fight before it had even begun. He already saw see Sirius fall behind the veil again. He killed him. He was killing a person again, and it was not just anyone. Sirius was his only family and he, Harry, had betrayed him. He had leaded him to his own death. He could
never see Sirius again and it was all his fault. Dumbledore tried to tell him that it wasn't, but it was. He should have listened Dumbledore and Snape earlier when they were still warning him about importance of occlumency. Did he listen? No and result was that he got his own godfather killed.. All of it had happened because of him. Moreover, he had almost killed his friends too. He could never look them in the eyes again. And if he hadn't believed the vision that Voldemort had planted in his mind, Sirius could be safe at Grimmauld Place even now. Even it that Voldemort was powerful again was his fault. If he had not been in the Triwizard tournament everything would be fine. Cedric would not be dead and...Cedric was so young and Harry had killed him, too. If he had
listened to Cedric, Cedric would be alive.
How can Dumbledore think he would kill somebody on purpose? It didn't matter that he was destined to kill Voldemort; he had already killed two people without wanting it and he didn't think he could kill anyone ever again. Not even Voldemort, which was supposed to be his most important task in his life. It was ridiculous. He was one who helped Wormtail to escape and then Wormtail helped to revive Voldemort. Second, Harry had given Voldemort the last thing that he needed to be reborn; Harry's own blood. Result was that now Voldemort was more powerful than ever because of him...
He had gone too way too far in his thoughts when he finally fell asleep. And what did he dream
of? Sirius! He was watching Sirius' smiling face. Harry was so glad and smiled back
to him, but he turned to go away.
Harry sat on his bed without even knowing it. He tried to reach out for Sirius, but he did not give him the chance and avoided his touch. Sirius was nearing the door in Harry's room. Harry was becoming desperate started to repeat "I am sorry" many times, but
it didn't help at all. Sirius was now at the door and looked at Harry angrily. He shook
his head at Harry.
Harry rose out of bed and tried to tell Sirius how sorry he was and begged him to stay with him. If he left, Harry would be alone again. But Sirius only went out of the room. The last second when the door was still partly open, Harry began to cry and yell at him 'Come back Sirius! I'm so sorry I killed you. I need you. Please don't go away and leave me alone.' But Sirius only looked at Harry and laughed. A second later he was gone.
In real, the door opened and closed very slowly without anyone touching it.
Not too long chapter yet but I don't mind, so it was originally too though I might have got it just a little longer, I think.. You are welcome to review, even if you just want tell me if I got it corrected ok.