Legolas Goes Crazy

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Legolas was walking down the street one day when he saw Gimli standing there. Legolas took out his bow and arrow and shot Gimli through the heart.

Legolas skipped off down the street untill he came to a place where Aragorn was buying an ice cream cone from a street vender.

Legolas kicked Aragorn in the butt and ducked down. "Hey, who's there?" said Aragorn, spinning around. Legolas looked up from where he was crouched and giggled. Aragorn looked down in surprise and saw him. Legolas jumped up and stabbed Aragorn in the gut with a knife.

Legolas left Aragorn's body there on the sidewalk and went off. "Hey, you didn't pay." said the ice cream dealer, to Aragorn.

Legolas was happily breezing down the street when he stopped and looked in a shop window. He saw Frodo inside, buying a model train with Sam. "This is gonna rule." said Sam.

Legolas went inside the train store and beat Frodo over the head with a chair that was behind the desk. The manager tried to stop him but Legolas threw him out the window. Legolas kicked Sam in the shins.

Legolas grabbed Frodo and stuffed his head in the toilet of the restroom of the place.

Sam came in hopping up and down. Legolas beat him over the head with a heavy book on trains untill he was dead. Legolas stabbed Frodo then left.

Legolas went outside. Legolas was walking along when suddenly he saw Arwen sobbing on a bench. Legolas went up to her and asked what was wrong. "My boyfriend's dead." said Arwen. Legolas smiled and put an arm around her. "I'll comfort you!" he told her.

Legolas tried to kiss Arwen but Arwen beat him with her purse. Legolas took out his bow and arrow and shot her, and Arwen fell dead off the bench. Legolas got up and brushed off his outfit, then he straightened his very long hair. Legolas went on, looking for someone new to kill. He went walking around the corner.

Legolas jumped in surprise when he saw Gandalf trying to get a quarter from where it lay on a gutter. Legolas walked up behind Gandalf and kicked his ass! Gandalf turned around and looked pissed off. "Who goes there?" said Gandalf. Legolas chuckled and jumped up and down. Gandalf took out his staff, ready to end Legolas's life.

Legolas grabbed Gandalf's staff and wrestled with him. Legolas fought with Gandalf untill he saw a truck coming and tangoed Gandalf out into the street. Legolas spun Gandalf around just in time for the heavy duty truck to slam into him at 50 mile per hour. The wizard looked surprised as he saw the truck about to hit him. Legolas smiled, serenly, and skipped off.

Legolas kept going for several minutes untill he spied Merry and Pippin sitting outside of a store, reading comic books. Legolas got out his bow and arrow.

Legolas fired an arrow straight into Merry's heart. Merry clutched his heart and fell over, dead. Pippin looked at Merry, then looked up at Legolas in surprise, then indignation. He threw his comic book down and stormed over to Legolas.

"I don't take that shit litely." said Pippin, looking feral. Legolas tilted his head. "Don't mess with me, fool, I'm a psycho too!" said Pippin, pulling out a machine gun and blowing Legolas away. Pippin snarled down at Legolas's body, then turned around and went back to reading his comic book.

The end.