Disclaimer: I don't own Love Hina. I only made this fic for my sick and twisted amusement. Also all Marvel-related stuff belongs to Marvel Comics. All the songs mentioned in this fic belong to the bands that made them.
Note: this fic is rated CT (Complete Trash) and B (Bad). This is probably the worst Love Hina fic ever written.... And to be honest I don't feel any regret about it. writer titters like a maniac!
Seygram13 presents: Urashima Keitaro Super-Villain Extraordinaire
It was quite ironic that the gentle and friendly Urashima Keitaro (or Keitaro Urashima if you prefer) turned criminal.
It came as a shock to all his relatives and friends, that he would willingly start a career... as a traditional super-villain.
Most people say it was the residents of that former inn that was turned into a dormitory, who made him flip his lid. Others say it was the Taro Urashima jokes at school that turned him quite mad. In a way they were both right and wrong about those rumours.
Let us turn back time and observe that fateful day when a new villain was *born*.
Keitaro was a mild-mannered student. Good-natured, friendly, nice and all that.
Too bad he lived in what one would call a hell on Earth. A godforsaken inn. The Hinata-sou!
Not that he minded that, since he for some reason lacked common sense regarding the residents of the dormitory.
In particular the two really nasty ones.
Naru "Psycho" Narusegawa and Motoko "Violent Slasher" Aoyama.
But enough about them and the other girls....
Keitaro had a secret.
A very big secret.
And it was not his porn stash, if you're thinking about that.
He had an album.
This rather ordinary album was really good hidden from the likes of Kaolla Su and the scheming Mitsune "Kitsune" Konno.
What does it contain?
Let's take a closer look at what the Urashima bloke is hiding from the rest of the rather mad world he lives in.
The content of this album was rather startling.
It contained pictures and newspaper articles about........................................ gaijin super-villains!
very evil music is played in the background
Most of the articles are American and are from the Daily Bugle, revealing information about villains usually battling the likes of Spider-Man. Facts about Doctor Octopus, Rhino, Hydro-Man, "the" Shocker, Scorpion, Boomerang, Speed Demon, Vulture, Rocket Racer, Green Goblin, Hobgoblin and so on......
Ever since being a little toddler had the young Urashima dreamed of turning to a life of crime. Dreaming about all the high-tech gadgets he would make, the banks he would rob, evading the law, pushing old ladies down the stairs (especially his old granny), jaywalking, stealing sweets from spoiled little children--you get the picture........
When he once told his stepsister Kanako about his visions of grandeur, she burst into laughter and rolled on the floor, being barely able to control herself, and managed to point out that he would probably encounter a super-hero who would humiliate, trash, and imprison him.
The only thing that really bothered Keitaro about that incident, was Kanako actually "laughing" and rolling on the floor, which seemed very much out of character for the normally serious girl.
The author gets severely thrashed by Love Hina fans with more experience with the show than he would ever accumulate in his entire life
Now back to the story......
Keitaro never brought up that topic again to Kanako, needless to say.
As we return from the "flashback" to the present, we see a usual episode in the Hinata-sou.
See Keitaro fly.
Watch how he "gracefully" is launched from the ground by Naru's well-aimed right hook.
It is a marvellous sight. Even if it's against the laws of physics.
See how he painfully pierces the ceilings of the house and is speeding towards Kaolla Su's room.
Coincidence? I think not...
Author gets again thrashed by other Love Hina fans
In this mini-jungle/room stands a table. On it stands several vials and test tubes filled with various mysterious and particular nasty chemicals made by the resident "genius".
Observe how he hits that table headfirst, breaking it, and getting spilled by all the nasty chemicals. Hear him scream as the various chemicals covering him alters his body, his mind, his very soul. The last thing going through his head before blacking out was the dream.
And it was not the dream with the promised girl...
Very nasty and evil music erupts from the background
"Why is Sempai laughing so strange?" asked the young Shinobu Maehara with much concern.
"How should I know?" replied Kitsune to the much younger girl's question.
Several days had passed since Keitaro Urashima woke up from his coma. He was out for four days.
All the girls and his aunt noticed that something was very wrong with him. After checking out of the hospital and arriving home, he politely excused himself and went to his room. He acted very differently during the whole thing.
He talked differently. His normal and kind voice replaced with one showing more confidence, more spine, more intelligence. His eyes revealing a man with a secret plan, twinkling with mischief. One could almost think he was cloaked in an aura of evil.
Shinobu also noticed that he was actually chuckling as he closed the door. "Sempai" was really beginning to scare her. The laughter of Keitaro reminded her of the laughter of stereotypical evil villains hatching a diabolical plot. Even the others seemed startled at this change of character.
Keitaro felt great. In fact he felt smarter, and very evil tonight. It was actually refreshing to feel being something other than a living punching/slashing bang. It was as if someone had removed all his restraints and set him free.
Urashima began anew his villainous laughter, when he suddenly was interrupted.
Keitaro looked down on the floor and saw Tama, his pet turtle, who was staring up at him with innocent eyes.
"Come here, my little friend," he said simply.
Motoko Aoyama was now experiencing the definitely worst dinner in her entire life as a kendoist.
Because Keitaro Urashima was eating dinner, with Tama on his left shoulder.
The little turtle made a happy sound as he fed it some salad. And Keitaro kept sending Kaolla Su some very nasty glares, since he had moments ago liberated his pet from a very ravenous Su, and had politely asked her not-to-eat-his-pet-or-she-would-be-tied-up-like-a-roastbeef-an'-lowered-into-a-tank-full-of-great-white-and-very-hungry-sharks.
The threat seemed to have calmed her down very much, and before Motoko and Naru reacted like they usually did, the manager gave them a very threatening glare. It was a "Let me eat in peace or else..." glare that seemed to contain much harboured anger and resentment in it. Needless to say, they didn't do a thing to him.
Kitsune under the whole thing, thought that Keitaro now resembled a Japanese version of Dr. Evil with a baby turtle on his shoulder instead of a cat. The thought was rather startling, since she had never considered the thought of Keitaro resembling a typical movie villain.
After dinner was over, the manager politely asked Kaolla Su, if he could borrow her lab for a while. She gave in (since he was holding a rather big bundle of bananas).
This puzzled the girls, since Keitaro + lab = ? , according to them.
Much, much later....
After being bombarded with sounds of heavy work for hours, Keitaro Urashima came out of Su's doorway, dragging a rather huge crate with him.
Su jumped on the manager's shoulders.
"Keitaro! Have you made something edible?"
"No, and could you please get of my back? It's really starting to hurt, you know!"
The girl did as Keitaro told her, and he rewarded her afterwards with a rather big banana. Needless to say, Kaolla Su swallowed it in one bite (after peeling it of course).
Keitaro now faced a bigger problem.
(How the BLEEP will I get this BLEEPING big crate down the stairs?) he thought.
As he was pondering on how he should get the crate down, after he had pushed/dragged in front of the stairs, he heard someone coming. Knowing from the sound of the voice that it was Naru, Keitaro smiled.
He whistled innocently as he gave the crate a well-earned kick, and sent it down the stairs.
He heard the girl scream as the crate impacted, but oddly it didn't sound like Narusegawa. The voice was much darker than Naru's.
Keitaro took a peek........and saw that he had instead nailed Motoko Aoyama.
(Oops! Well at least I hit someone!) Keitaro thought as he smacked his head for mistaking Naru's and Motoko's voices.
"URASHIMA! WAIT UNTIL I GET MY HANDS ON YOU!"
The sound of Motoko's roar was heard through all the Hinata-sou. The girls came running towards the stairs, and found the resident kendoist pinned to the wall by a wooden crate. It probably hurt. It did in fact hurt. In fact it hurt seriously to be crushed to the wall by a heavy wooden crate.
"Oh my! Sorry 'bout that, Motoko! Didn't know you were downstairs!" Keitaro exclaimed with a shocked, but fake expression of sympathy.
"Keitaro!" Naru growled. "What the hell are you doing?"
"I said it was an accident, Naru!"
"Accident my ass, ronin!"
"Will the both of you just shut up! Help us free Motoko instead!"
The sound of Kitsune's highly raised voice ended the debate between the two. After much pulling, Keitaro managed to free Motoko from her restraining imprisonment. And since Motoko felt that her body felt like it had been through hell, she didn't punish Urashima for his "accident".
Luckily the girls were too concerned about Motoko to notice him making his getaway with the intact crate.
(Soon they will learn! I will teach them all to fear me! For I......am...........BLEEP!"
During his mental rambling he had simply forgotten what he would call himself. It didn't actually sound very intimidating to say, "My name is Keitaro Urashima and I'm a super-villain." One of the first rules in being a villain, was to never reveal one's real name. Always use pseudonyms or fake names, or the most stereotypical thing, one's code-name. He repeatedly slammed his forehead against the nearest wall a couple of times.
After dinner Tama had gone to his room and was now dosing quietly in a corner.
"Myuh!" it chirped softly when its owner appeared, but still remained in place.
Keitaro closed the door, crate securely placed in his base of operations formerly known as his room, and trod quietly in Tama's direction. He then bent down and stroked his baby turtle with a caring hand.
"Yes, my dear." he whispered softly. "Soon the time will be ripe and the town of Hinata will know true terror and destruction."
He then laughed ironically. It was a laughter meant to mock all his hardships, showing that the world hadn't broken him yet.
"Toudai.....Narusegawa......Aoyama....... So you mock me and dare to make a fool out of me? I will teach you! You and all the rest! Too long have I been downtrodden, hit, tricked, insulted! Mark my words! I will have my revenge! No more I say! This town will feel my diabolical wrath, and-"
Keitaro immediately ceased his heated monologue as Shinobu opened the door.
"Urashima-sempai, are you all right?"
"Yes, Shinobu-chan. I am in perfect health at the moment. Why do you ask?"
"You've been acting strangely after you woke up in hospital. I hardly recognize you anymore.....And to be honest, you are frightening me."
Shinobu's accusation rang home as Keitaro looked like he was suffering thoughts of regret. In a few seconds Shinobu saw signs of the old Keitaro returning, but she saw that he quickly repressed those signs, reverting back to the sinister-looking Keitaro.
He then embraced her in a hug.
"There, there, Shin," he said quietly while stroking her black hair.
"I didn't mean to scare you, little one. You must understand that people can change with time, even if you don't want them to change."
Shinobu seemed startled by Keitaro's words.
(He's never called me that before!) rang through her mind. (Is it really Sempai? What if someone else has taken his place?)
Her thoughts were then interrupted by Keitaro's voice.
"How are your parents?" he asked with a worried look. "Have they finally decided to get together again?"
"No, Sempai." she almost whispered. "They're still fighting."
The mentioning of her parents really shook up Shinobu, and she began to cling to him while trying to suppress the urge to cry. Keitaro could see faint traces of moisture building up around the little girl's eyes. He then tried to comfort her as best as he could.
A few days ago before the "accident", he had accidentally eavesdropped on Shinobu, when he was doing his daily cleaning chores. She was talking to someone on the telephone, and by the sound of it, it wasn't good news. He had become curious of what had happened, but chose at that moment not to disturb her since it wasn't polite to overhear private conversations. That and that Naru and Motoko were acting as if they had PMS on steroids that day, so he chose to stay in the background for a time being, to avoid any punishments that would suddenly appear.
It seemed like the situation between her parents had become worse than before.
A while later Keitaro had helped Shinonbu to her room, feeling pangs of guilt, regretting his simple question. It was hard for many children at her age to experience what it was like when one's mother and father stopped loving each other. The worst thing about divorce was when parents began to struggle over who should have custody over the children. While Keitaro as a person, respected that people should have right to divorce, he really hated it when children became chess pieces in the struggle of power between the divorcing couple.
"I really should have explained to her more precisely, what I meant." he mused silently to himself, referring to his comments about people changing. While talking to oneself is not really a good sign concerning sanity, especially when you're a person who should technically have been dead a long time ago. It was simply a miracle that he had survived the physical punishment dealt by Narusegawa and Aoyama. Why his neck hadn't been broken yet or why his head hadn't gone flying somewhere was beyond any earthly knowledge he ever possessed in his miserable life.
But now his anger wasn't directed at the two tenants, it was actually directed towards Shinobu's parents.
He pondered for a while, walking aimlessly, but silently around the hallways of the dorm, stopped and smiled.
He had a plan.
A perfect plan.
And a very evil one at that.
He then began quietly to sing his own version of a popular parody song he loved to hear secretly every Christmas.
"The night Sempai went crazy. The night Urashima flipped......"
Some hours later......
Shinobu's parents were trapped in an abandoned warehouse and both were strapped to what looked like metal-like medical tables, normally used by your average mad scientist in old horror movies.
As usual, both of them bickered at each other, since both tables were placed beside each other. Shinobu's father at the left, her mother at the right.
They had been abducted from each of their respective homes by very mysterious and odd contraptions.
The reason for this heated debate, was irrelevant. And it looked like they if they were loose, they would gladly kill one another.
"SILENCE!" a voice from one of the darkened corners cried out. And since it is impolite and also a hazard to one's health to ignore such a warning, they simply shut up.
From the shadows emerged a young man accompanied by their metallic abductors, the one's who had captured them and brought them here.
"You made poor Shinobu cry!" he hissed angrily and calmly continued, "And for that you shall pay!"
He then rushed into the shadows again, and they heard the sound of a person pushing something heavy towards them. And what they saw really startled them.
It wasn't as if they hadn't seen bad science fiction films before, but the sight of a real and huge ray gun can be really scary if you're tied up and it's aiming in your direction.
The young man, who was now sweating like a pig, since he simply had forgotten to put wheels under his invention and was forced to push it, forgetting that his helpers could have done the job for him, straightened his glasses and smiled.
He walked over to what seemed like the control panel, pressed a few buttons, pulled a few levers.
The ray gun began to hum as it was filled with energy and pointing towards them.
And as a strange ray shot out, engulfing Shinobu's parents. They simply blacked out.
The next day.....
Shinobu Maehara couldn't believe what she had just heard on the telephone.
Her parents were getting together again.
While it was true that a lot of issues had to be straightened out, and that they were undergoing therapy and counselling, it was still true that they were willing to give their marriage another try.
Both her parents had called her in the morning and had given their sincerest apologies for their terrible behaviour and what she had gone through all the time.
To put it simply.... Shinobu was happy. It was as if a miracle had occurred out of the blue.
Meanwhile the source of this "miracle" was smiling at how Shinobu reacted to the happy news.
While it really wasn't fair of him to simply brainwash Shinobu's parents with his *patented* Hypnotic Ray MK I (or Hypno Ray if you prefer a shorter name), they hadn't really been fair to their own daughter when they fought over her custody. While he didn't actually alter their character or memory completely, he had hypnotized them to feel regret towards their words and actions.
He hoped that Shinobu would forgive him, if she ever discovered what he had done, not feeling any regret of what he had simply done.
In his eyes, Shinobu Maehara deserved better. He remembered the times when all the sadness and trauma inside her came out, when it seemed like she had almost lost all hope.
Shinobu was actually the only one in the inn/dormitory whom he considered a friend. Especially since she was the only one who didn't mangle him like a pretzel or exploit him.
"Now my debt is paid," Keitaro Urashima whispered silently, turning his mind to more important matters and walking silently towards his room.
As he entered and closed his door, he sighed relieved at that none had browsed through the remaining contents of his crate. Most of the materials contained had been used to build the Hypno Ray TM, but the rest were used to construct his costume, equipping it with high-tech equipment. It was finally finished, and tomorrow whole Hinata would tremble before him.
He looked at one particular picture in his super-villain album. The picture of the Rocket Racer.
"Thank you, Robert Farrell." he said simply. "For inspiring me to build all this equipment modelled after your designs."
While he didn't exactly copy everything, his design was mainly based on the reformed villain's gadgets. So in a sense it wasn't really plagiarism.
"Soon," he chuckled. "Soon the time will be ripe."
He suddenly heard a sound and quickly reacted by slamming the lid of the crate on.
Naru looked down from the hole, having removed her Liddo-kun, and Keitaro was suddenly having a nice fantasy where she looked down the barrel of a howitzer, ready to fire. He was also relishing the thought of lowering Motoko slowly into a pit of genetically altered, woman-eating turtles.
Keitaro's daydreaming was then interrupted by the voice of Naru.
"Okay, ronin! What are you up to?"
"Christ! Don't you ever use the door, Narusegawa?" exclaimed the twenty-year-old student, seemingly startled.
He then regained his composure and said, "Y'know, I'm really considering plugging that hole. And I think I'll plug it just about now!"
The angry voice of Naru Narusegawa was then muffled, when Keitaro slammed the crate lid to the ceiling while simultaneously producing hammer and nails. Using supernatural speed he quickly fixed the hole by hammering nails like a complete madman who had no talent with carpentry.
"There!" he finally panted.
While it was kind of childish and immature, he had managed to avoid a conversation with one of his nemeses. If she or the others ever discovered what he was up to, they would foil his master plan. His time to shine. A new evil rising.
He heard an angry Naru running to the stairs. She didn't notice the little trap he had set out; a whole lot of banana peels lying on the last step (Suu inspired him). It resulted in a very big crash and a (very much) KO Naru.
Keitaro sighed as he cleaned up the peels and lifted the unconscious Naru up to her room.
"Urashima! Get your filthy hands of her!" cried Motoko, sword drawn and ready for usage. He saw that all of the girls were watching him. Luckily he had managed to remove the evidence of his improvised trap in time.
"Calm down, Aoyama," chided Keitaro, "I'm not planning on doing anything lecherous that borders on downright disgusting. I'm just helping poor Narusegawa to her room! If you are still suspicious, then you may accompany me and see that my motives are rather un-perverted."
While he saw on Motoko's facial expression that she didn't buy it, she did acknowledge his proposal.
"What happened, Keitaro?"
"Well, Mitsune. It seems that Naru had a rather unfortunate accident while descending the stairs, it seems that she somehow tripped and hurt her head."
"Is she all right, Sempai?"
"Yes, Shinobu. She just needs some rest now."
Keitaro began ascending the stairs, holding Naru in his arms. Motoko followed him as well to ensure that nothing NC-17 would happen.
Finally he came to her room, opened the door, and lay her down on her futon. He then simply stepped out and closed the door.
"What?" he muttered to a scowling Motoko.
"I do not know what you are up to, Urashima." she replied angrily. "But I will expose your perverted schemes. Then I shall smite you in the name of the Shinmei school."
"Whatever." was Keitaro's simple reply. He simply walked down the stairs while ignoring more gibberish from the taller but younger girl.
"Yes! Today is the day!" he simply said to himself as he entered his room.
No one could or would stop him. He was invincible. The undefeatable one
Fetching his costume, he admired its design.
He was ready.
If only his friends, Masayuki Haitani and Kimiaki Shirai could see him now.
Evil music explodes into a crescendo as Keitaro begins to laugh
This was a day the bank of Hinata would never forget.
Especially since they were being robbed by rather unusual bank robbers.
It was actually scary to be threatened by four giant robotic turtles wielding gatling guns, advanced missile weaponry, lasers, flame throwers and other wicked looking weapons.
Their leader on the other hand didn't look as threatening. Actually, he looked quite ridiculous in his costume. It consisted mainly of black leather, but there wasn't anything wrong with his clothes. It was rather the rollerblades he wore. They were actually high-tech-looking, equipped with jet thrusters, stabilizers and all that. But..... They were pink!
The thing that kept the bank personnel from laughing out loud, was the fact that this youth was wearing gloves capable of firing micro missiles. A thing he openly demonstrated as he blew up the bank vault.
"Now, listen up!" roared the young man to the people inside the building, while wiping his glasses. "This is a simple robbery to demonstrate my superiority! So no heroics, or I shall be forced to blow you all to smithereens!"
It was actually the first time the bank had actually been robbed by someone who looked like a super-villain. While strange things happened at Hinata, like the sightings of a man soaring through the sky like a rocket and hitting something with a sickening splat, but still managing to survive, and sightings of turtle robots like these who were currently under the control of the young man.
In a matter of minutes the costumed robber had emptied the bank of most of its bills, stuffing the cash in secret compartments that were hidden on the robots, while also carrying some money in a stereotypical money bag.
"I thank you for your assistance, gentlemen! But now I must be of!"
He grinned at the bank personnel.
"If you want to inform the police, tell them that you've been robbed by the high-speeding, fiendish and diabolical.....Ronin!"
And then he and his robotic accomplices were off. All of them propelled by jet-thrusters. Forgetting to open the doors they simply crashed through the walls of the bank, leaving five big holes on them.
(This is fun!) thought Keitaro Urashima who was now a step closer to fulfil his dream. The promised girl could go hang herself for all that he cared. It didn't really hurt that much to slam through the concrete wall at 650 kph, he had suffered worse things at the hands of Naru and Motoko. He remembered the day he almost was shot into orbit, hadn't he miraculously collided with that satellite which deflected him down to earth. It did hurt to breach the atmosphere though. The impact of gravity also. And the satellite which landed on him. He now knew how Kenny McCormick must have felt in every South Park episode (every time he got killed).
It came in handy to have the same resistance as a tank when it came to surviving whatever those two could dish out.
He seriously hoped that Rocket Racer wouldn't try to kill him for copying most of his gadgets, but Keitaro reasoned that if Hobgoblin could rip off Green Goblin, then what's the problem with him doing the same darn thing.
He deemed it a stroke of genius to reprogram four of Kaolla Su's outdated Mecha-Tamas to serve him and only him, erasing all traces of Su's programming and replacing it with his own. Made mostly of reinforced titanium, these things could withstand most things the JSSDF had in their arsenal. But he did wish that Su had some adamantium stored somewhere, but it seemed that making or obtaining the hardest metal on Earth, was beyond the foreign girl's league. Naming them Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo and Raphael, after one of his favourite gaijin cartoon characters was something he felt no need to be ashamed of. Luckily for him, the foreign girl never locked the storage room containing her advanced weaponry. So it was a piece of cake to stock up with what he wanted and equipping his metallic servants. As a precaution, he sabotaged her remaining Mecha-Tamas by infecting them with a dozen viruses downloaded from the internet.
(Always be prepared for the worst!) he congratulated himself for taking out one of his greatest threats.
"MYUH!" his metallic servants cried out as they soared over him, heralding his coming.
(This is just the beginning!)
He began to laugh out loud as he raced down the streets, forgetting to look straight ahead....and crashed into a lamp post.
"Ow!" he groaned before passing out…
Keitaro was on television. On the news to be exact.
The residents of the dormitory were gaping out of sheer shock.
He had just robbed one of the city banks, accompanied by four Mecha-Tamas who were armed to the teeth.
Hearing him call himself the Ronin before finally making his getaway with the stolen loot.
"I can't believe it!" screamed Naru out of shock. That the baka would rob a frickin' bank was a contradiction to her. While he was a pervert and sometimes an idiot to boot, according to her, it did in the end make sense. He had begun acting strangely after waking up in hospital. How he had threatened Su, Motoko and her. The accident with the crate. The strange sounds from Su's lab. Especially the insane laughter he came with.
She had woken up a few hours later, suffering from a major headache. She praised herself lucky that she didn't need any bandages.
Everything began as Haruka Urashima earlier received a distressed phone call from Keitaro's parents. Hearing the cries of accusation from them, she was then ordered to turn on the TV. Gathering all the girls in the living room, she reluctantly switched it on.
It wasn't a pretty sight and the reaction afterwards weren't exactly good either.
Shinobu was crying, feeling sorry for poor Keitaro who had now become a wanted criminal.
Motoko was furious, wanting to trash the fiendish pervert turned criminal into a bloody pulp for his illegal actions.
Kitsune had an "oh sh..." reaction, feeling that they may have pushed him too far this time.
Kaolla Su was cheerful as usual, but slightly irritated with the pervert ronin for playing with her toys without permission.
Naru wanted to give Keitaro a serious lesson in pain. But she had a feeling in her gut that she was in some way responsible for his current condition.
Mutsumi had turned on the TV in her apartment and fainted at the sight of "Urashima-kun" robbing the bank.
Meanwhile the Ronin had woken up from his unintentional nap, feeling as refreshed as ever. He deemed himself incredibly lucky that the police hadn't found him while he was unconscious, relieved him of his equipment and loot, laughing at his expense, and finally shipping him of to prison.
Probably because his Mecha-Tamas were standing guard around him. He did notice some car wrecks in the area, suspiciously resembling standard police vehicles. And lotsa bullet holes and smoking craters.
(Next Stop: Toudai!)
Keitaro was doing it again.
Laughing like a total lunatic who had recently fled from the loony bin using some tricks learned from watching too many MacGyver marathons than one should ever digest. And in the process totalling the entire building without even trying.
Revenge would be his.
"'Cause I'm T.N.T. I'm dynamite..."
He began to hum various AC/DC lyrics now, and finally settled with Highway to Hell.
The "fun" was just starting.
The Tokyo University, nicknamed Toudai, looked like it had been through a meat grinder and patched up again with duct tape.
The Ronin had actually attacked the building with his mechanical henchmen, damaging it almost beyond repair.
He was certain that he would become Public Enemy Number One in Japan for this despicable act.
In the meantime he was pirouetting around the area, at 300 kph, hitting various lamp posts and signs in the process, but still carrying on. He had the grace of an elephant walking in a porcelain store.
"Public Enemy Number One. Understand..."
He had reverted to AC/DC's T.N.T. again
He would go down in history as the black-hearted fiend who destroyed the most prestigious university in the country. People would curse his name as long as they lived. He would love it.
All the students and teachers had fled screaming from the building when he attacked, and he had ordered his robots not to harm any civilians, while concentrating on destroying the loathsome building.
While Seta's away, Keitaro will play.
Seta had been the only one he deemed a true threat to his power. He knew that Seta wouldn't trouble him, since he was currently in the Bermuda Triangle excavating dig sites.
Sarah was lucky that she had accompanied her dad or he would have done several terrible things to her that would harbour on true and demented evil.
Cameras and reporters were gathering in front of Toudai (what's left of it), some of them shocked, and some of them ecstatic at the opportunity for promotion.
"AH, MY AUDIENCE HAS ARRIVED!" boomed Keitaro's voice through the speaker system he had stolen from the building, holding a microphone in his right hand.
He walked arrogantly towards the reporters while enjoying the various cameras centred on him.
"As you all know, I am the Ronin. And this was a demonstration of my terrible power!"
"What were your motives in this case?" asked a curious male reporter while holding a microphone towards the Ronin's direction.
"Revenge, naturally." grinned Keitaro, smiling as sadistically as he could. "For years the arrogant upstart bastards attending this university have looked down on those who were less unfortunate who were deemed unfit to enter this building. Sneering at us as if we were less than them. Treating us as if we were dirt under their fingernails! Let's just say that I did something a lot of us have dreamed of doing; namely wasting this building to a pile of rubble!"
His sudden outburst startled the representatives of the media, but he regained his composure and was about to explain things further when he suddenly heard the familiar sound of-
The entire household of the Hinata-sou had arrived (accompanied by Mutsumi).
"And there they are!" proclaimed Keitaro suddenly to everyone, pointing at his aunt and the others. "They are the cause of my actions. Let me tell you a chilling story about a man suffering domestic abuse on a grand scale. About all the physical abuse and trauma suffered at their hands!"
The audience were shocked by his words.
"And if you do not believe me: there are several witnesses in Hinata who can confirm my claims!" he said as he signalled to one of his Mecha-Tamas. Its eyes began projecting scenes from Keitaro's past on the wall. Most of them were authentic recordings from either Kitsune or Su.
They saw a woman threatening a man with a razor-sharp sword and sometimes striking him with a training sword. A lot of them paled as they saw her draw her real sword, trying to kill the man in furious anger.
They saw another woman dealing out blows that would kill any normal man. The sight and sounds of flesh being struck. The blood and the bruises inflicted. It seemed that she hit him more than the girl wielding a sword. People were filled with disgust at the sight.
And another woman tricking him and using him as a resource where money could be obtained. How she flirted with him and how she caused him to be attacked by the two others for fun.
The sight of the foreign Indian-looking girl using him as an unwilling guinea pig was shocking. How he repeatedly was attacked by robotic turtles similar to those in the vicinity. The various kicks to the head.
The sight of the man's aunt striking him for addressing her as his aunt and how she did nothing to help him, infuriated them. Most of them horrified that she didn't lift a finger to defend him.
"Sempai! Why are you doing this?" cried Shinobu.
"Severing all ties, it seems." replied a somewhat irritated Ronin. "Keitaro Urashima is dead! All that remains is me - the Ronin!" he screamed at them.
Motoko charged forward, her sword drawn. Keitaro signalled to his mechanical accomplices that he could handle it on his own. He simply pointed his glove at her, firing a salvo of micro missiles. The missiles impacted and resulted in an explosion. When the smoke had cleared, the kendo-girl lay twitching and burned on the ground.
(I love Raiders of the Lost Ark.) Keitaro thought humorously.
"Praise yourself lucky that I didn't kill you, 'Motoko-chan'." he said, pronouncing her name as one would pronounce bitch or vermin. "How fortunate for you that I prefer that you remain alive!"
He activated his jet-thrusters, racing towards Naru, and dealt out a blow that sent her crashing against one of the remaining trees around the premises. He came at her again slamming his elbow into her stomach. He loved to combine speed, force and impact in his attacks. And seeing Naru in pain for a change turned him on.
"Consider this a repayment for all those months, Narusegawa!" growled Keitaro to his former love interest. He savagely grasped her neck and began to kiss her deeply with what people would call lust and dark passion. Naru weak from Keitaro's blows, couldn't prevent Keitaro's lips from gluing onto hers, his tongue invading her mouth. She didn't even have the strength to bite the appendage that wiggled inside her.
He then ended the savage kiss, looking at her with both contempt, pity and sorrow. "Farewell, Naru! Know that once I could have loved you!"
He then turned to the others. All of them (even Kaolla Su) paralyzed with fear by the sheer brutality witnessed.
"Shinobu-chan," he began, "You asked me why I am doing this, and now I will give an answer. Like I said a few days ago: people can change with time, and that's what happened to me. I am the sum of Keitaro's grief, sorrow and anger. To be more precise, I can be seen as his dark side. And I must thank you all for setting me free."
He bowed mockingly to them. "If you hadn't knocked me into those chemicals, I would still be a spineless loser without any future at all. Now I have the power and will to do anything I have ever dreamed of!"
"B-But what about the promise you made to that girl?" Naru managed choke out.
"It was a silly promise made by a naive and unrealistic boy." he snorted. "A boy whose romantic dreams clouded his perception towards the harsh and bitter world he lived in. A fool by all definitions. It was a promise made by children...and as you all know, promises are meant to be broken!"
He smiled at his last sentence, feeling that he had said the words he should have said months ago. Something he formerly never had dared to utter to the tenants before.
"By destroying the Tokyo University and striking some of you down, I cut myself free of the last ties binding me to the person I was, the life I led." he continued with a smile. "You and I are even now, and our paths will cross no more. For my destiny lies out there!"
The sound came from an object that came from the sky, landing in front of the Ronin. The girls noticed that it resembled a metallic version of Tama equipped with jet-thrusters.
"What do you think of my Tama Glider?" Keitaro laughed out. "Isn't it remarkable?" he added as he began to stroke it.
Motoko who had somehow managed to stand up, looked in horror at the metal replicate of Keitaro's pet.
"You know, it was Green Goblin and Hobgoblin who inspired me to make this transportation device." commented Keitaro without any shame.
As he finished the sentence he jumped on his glider, his rollerblades magnetically fastening themselves on the metallic surface. The thrusters started and he began to hover several feet up in the air.
"At first I considered killing the lot of you, but I know now that it is far more evil to let you live. To let you live with the knowledge of what I have become."
A secret compartment on the glider opened and Keitaro took out a sniper rifle and threw it in front of Naru.
"I am giving you a choice, Naru. Either you let me fly away, or you can kill me with the loaded weapon I just gave you. The choice is yours my love no more..."
Naru looked horrified by what Keitaro had said so casually, as if he didn't care if he lived or died.
"You can either stop me for good or let me live to commit further despicable schemes and atrocities…"
He looked at her in grim humour.
"Can you kill me, Narusegawa? Can you kill the guy who loved you with all his heart?" he smiled at her.
He started to fly away from everyone, racing towards the sea.
"Keitaro! Come back!" cried out an anguished Naru, holding the rifle in her hands.
"You know that I can't!" he shouted back at her mockingly. "It is too late now. Too late for us both."
"Forgive me, Keitaro!" screamed Naru as she gripped the rifle, training her scope on the disappearing Keitaro, taking steady aim before pulling the trigger.
"NO!" screamed Shinobu as she tackled Naru, throwing off her aim and missing Keitaro completely when the rifle was fired.
"Nice try! You didn't kill me, but you tried! Remember it's the thought that counts!" laughed Keitaro at Naru.
Naru, whose eyes are filled with tears can only watch as Keitaro flies away, laughing.
The only problem was that he wasn't looking where he was going, and crashed into a building. He emerged seconds later crashing out from the other side. His Mecha-Tama's followed the same route, resulting in four more holes in the building.
He kept on going, though.
"Be free, Urashima-sempai!" whispered a sad but smiling Shinobu to the figure disappearing from sight.
End song: Running Free by Iron Maiden
Just sixteen, a pick up truck
Out of money, out of luck
I've got no place to call my own Hit the gas and here I go
I'm running free yeah, I'm running free
I'm running free yeah, I'm running free
Spend the night in an LA jail Listen to the sirens wail
But they ain't got a thing on me
I'm running wild, I'm running free
I'm running free yeah, I'm running free
I'm running free yeah, I'm running free
Pulled her at the Bottle Top Whisky dancing, disco hop
And all the boys are after me
And that's the way it's gonna be
I'm running free yeah, I'm running free
I'm running free yeah, I'm running free
Thus the sad case of Keitaro Urashima is closed. He was never seen again in Japan, but he re-appeared in several other countries around the world as a wanted criminal. He later tried to take over the world with his newest invention: the Seta-bots, robotic versions of Seta that were as skilled as the original in combat. Sadly his army was destroyed when Namor the Sub-Mariner "complained" over the muck he was pumping into the ocean. The Ronin was then seen "flying" over Tibet, courtesy of Namor Airways. His current whereabouts are unknown at the time, but he is certainly plotting something devious and criminal.
Most of the tenants at the Hinata-sou were arrested for domestic abuse on a grand scale. Kaolla Su was deported back to her homeland (under heavy JSSDF surveillance of course. And Shinobu moved back to her parents, who mysteriously had gotten together again. While her parents still argued with each other over a lot of things, they didn't quarrel as badly as before, showing regret over a lot of things said and done.
And last but not least, Keitaro had become a feared and hated individual by many, but praised by a few who detested the Tokyo University. Feeling that he had done them a very big favour.
The Ronin is still at large, and it seems likely that his plans for world domination and building a sixty foot tall statue of himself (made out of marble) are still in motion.
So if you see him....RUN FOR YOUR MISERABLE LIVES!
*This fic is abruptly ended as several Love Hina fans storm the author's room and carry him away*
"Let it be slow and extremely painful!" proclaimed the figure to the man at the gallows, a noose hanging around his neck.
"Uh…can't you guys take a rather tasteless joke?" asked a rather frightened Seygram13 to the mob consisting of Love Hina fans who were scowling darkly up at him. Even if it didn't seem that all were Love Hina fans, he must have done something to infuriate them somehow. It could also have something to do with the other guy beside him, wearing a noose as well.
The author sighed in self-pity, "At least you didn't decide to throw me into the Pit of Self-Insertion. That's one of the bloody things I fear the most."
"Don't worry." the leader said. " We're only going to hang you for writing this senseless rubbish."
"Let him hang!" shouted one of them.
"Yeah!" shrieked another.
The sound of the chanting (and crazed) mob didn't improve the author's self-esteem.
(Looks like I should never have begun writing fanfics in the first place.)
"I hate my life!" mumbled Seygram13, while wishing that he had the opportunity to explain why he decided to write a fic where Keitaro goes Green Goblin on the rest of the cast. And why he didn't mention if this fic followed either the anime or manga canon. And that the fic lacked depth and plot.
He turned to another man, also sentenced to death. "And what do they want to kill you for?"
"It seems like they want to execute me for saying that Psylocke and Thunderbird III wasn't such a bad pairing after all. They didn't even consider that I was neutral to whom Betsy should be with."
"You know how those rabid W/B fans are (excluding the tolerant ones). They don't really seem to listen to reason or tolerate other people's views. Personally, even if Neal Shaara wasn't really a very much developed character compared to Maggot and Marrow, doesn't mean that he's a bad and inferior character.
"But didn't you use to be a Cyclops-hater?" inquired the other man.
"That's for a different reason." snorted Seygram13. "You don't abandon your own wife (even if she's a clone of a former lover) and your newborn son to be with Jean Grey who has somehow been brought back to life."
"You know, Jean has died for the umpteenth time now."
"Gods! Can't Marvel stop with the usual Jean-dies-and-is-resurrected-again-gag!"
"It seems to be becoming a fetish to them."
"Back to Cyclops! I did hate him for leaving Madelyne, but I did forgive him in a way, when he was possessed by Apocalypse..."
"WILL YOU TWO JUST SHUT UP!" howled the leader of the mob to the two death-sentenced debaters who had discussed something irrelevant to the situation at hand. He regained his composure and turned to the crowd. "And now we will proceed with the execution of these two heretics."
Both of them gulped as the leader reached for the lever that would end their pathetic lives and leave them as dangling corpses.
Luckily someone decided to crash the party.
It was the Ronin on his Tama Glider, blasting the leader with a burst of micro missiles, followed by Tatewaki Kuno, Gourry Gabriev, Mousse, Akane Tendo and Neal Shaara.
"IT'S CLOBBERIN' TIME!" cried out the six individuals, using a Fantastic Four quote used by Ben Grimm, a.k.a. the Thing.
It wasn't a pretty sight as they began to beat up the crowd. They were lucky that the Blue Thunder and Gourry didn't go "Kill Bill" on them. Mousse and Akane resorted to their respective fighting styles, pummeling people into submission. Thunderbird on the other hand was busy flinging around concussive plasma spheres that were meant to knock out, not kill.
"Well that was in the nick of time." mumbled the author as Gourry cut the two tied-up prisoners loose.
"Why in the world are they helping you?" questioned the other man.
"Let's just say that since I'm against too extreme bashings of certain fictional characters, they decided to pop by and help us."
"You know, this fic is really getting out of hand."
"You're right… and that's why this is… The End."
Author laughs like the insane, prejudiced bastard he is
A falling cow lands on him.
And the world became a much happier place......
Note: Please flame this fic and tell me how much you hate it! Please?