Long time no see, again... sigh
Well, I'm really sorry! What more can I say- I hope this chapter will make the long time of waiting up to you! Thanks for all those wonderful reviews I got! And don't forget to review again!
A little jealousy ahead, romance (of course!) -
Chapter 10: Why do things have to be so complicated?
This whole talk about the peace treaty took hours and when it became dark outside we decided to call it a day. It went better than I had thought it would and I was pretty happy… but other things kept spinning on my mind I couldn't really concentrate on what we were doing.
Rikku did a pretty good job, though. All the time she tried to translate everything because her Brother still refused to talk our language. She looked great in that dress but avoided my gaze all the time, sitting next to her 'fiancée'.
relieved when I could finally leave this room. To be honest, I had
thought I could catch Rikku when we were leaving this room but once I
reached the door she was already gone.
But I hadn't to wait long until I saw her again. She was just talking to this guy, smiled and then he left with Brother and Cid while stayed.
"Nice to see you again." was all I said and I blushed. This was really a smart start to begin a conversation. Oh yeah, never mind…
"Hi, too." She turned around and for the first time she met my gaze.
A few monks walked through the corridor. Great, everyone will hear this and you'll make a real fool of yourself!
"Can we talk somewhere else?" I suggested and she nodded, still smiling. So we walked to my rooms, Rikku walking ahead and remebering where to find this room though she had been here only one short time in her life.
"It feels strange to be here again. To be allowed to be here at all. I never thought that I would see this place again!" she laughed. What a wonderful sound – I missed it so much to hear her laugh, so see her eyes shine when she is happy. No, don't you dare to forget about what you wanted to talk with her.
Not about old times. Not about what this place looks like. About her 'fiancée' and the fact that she is going to get married.
I closed the doors behind me and stared at her, the way she moved.
"What did you want to talk about?" she asked, still smiling and as if she didn't have a clue at all. Well, maybe she hadn't…
"Well…" I started and stopped.
"About… well, you're getting married?" I asked. 'And it gets better with each word you say.'
"I guess I am." she answered and her voice sounded shaky. She didn't want to talk about that right now but I wouldn't let her get away this easily.
"Why?" I asked.
Oh, how can she be so damn misunderstanding! Maybe she knows what I mean and she just avoids to talk about this!
"I mean why on earth are you going to get married to Gippal!" I screamed and stared at her. She went pale, her eyes avoiding my gaze again. "Answer me!"
"He proposed and I said yes." she answered and now I was sure she sensed what I was talking about. She had to know or otherwise she wouldn't have answered that way.
"I don't mean this! I mean why do you marry him!" Now I'm angry… Really, I can't take this. I've waited so long… for so long! I've done everything to be here with her, to tell her that I love her and when she appears here the first thing I hear is that she is getting married to another man!
Maybe I shouldn't have screamed at her that way. I noticed that the expression on her face changed suddenly. Before, I'd been pretty sure to see pain, maybe guilt but now there was just anger – anger and bitterness.
"You want to know why I'll get married to him! It's none of your buisness but if you have to know then I'll tell you: Because he loves me, that's why! And why are you even questioning my decision!"
I've had enough. Well, I would have thought that once I'd ever say those words and mean it from the heart, it would be… more romantic? I don't know but I am sure I never thought that it would happen like this.
Before my mind could stop me from screaming, the words were out. "Damn, Rikku, because I love you!"
Do you know those moments when silence can make you feel like you're deaf? When you expect something to happen, someone to say something… anything. Just a reaction or something – but there is only silence. No sounds at all. As if the world just stopped turning around for a while.
This silence greeted me when I said those words out loud. I could see Rikku open her mout, an angry expression on her face but she didn't say anything. She closed her mouth again and stared at me. Nothing else and I figured out that she'd just gotten the message.
She'd intended to say something because of whatever nasty thing I'd say but she had never expected what I really wanted to say.
I guess she was even more surprised than me. Rikku blinked several times before turning her gaze away from me, muttering something in Al Bhed I could hardly understand. She was muttering under her breath.
"E lyh'd pameaja ed…" (I can't believe it…)
She shook her head and continued to mutter words and sentences in Al Bhed and I figured out that those short lessons during our time in the desert weren't enough to really understand the language.
"Rikku?" I asked after a few minutes not sure what to do. She was confused, I could tell because for the last two minutes she'd been walking in a small circle.
"Are you allright?" I asked again when she didn't answer. I wasn't even sure if she heard me but then her eyes met mine.
"Since when do you…" she started but trailed of. She didn't have to say it at all – I knew what she meant.
"Since the days we spent in the desert." I answered.
"And you never said a word!" She was angry again and by the way she looked at me I could sense that she didn't know why at all.
"What does it matter?" Well, by that time I felt rejected already. The way she looked at me made me feel like she disliked me.
"It does matter. I tell you it does matter! Because you never said a word and I never said a word and now look what is happening!"
"You never…" I couldn't believe it. And that's why I had to ask another question to get the answer I wanted. "Tell me, Rikku, do you love Gippal? Did you agree to get married to him because you love him?"
There was this guilty expression on her face again. "No." she whispered. "He's a good friend but I'm not in love with him. I could never… you know… How would I have told him that I couldn't marry him because I'd fallen head over heals for the praetor of Yevon?"
She shook her head, obviously trying to make her mind work again. And she had no idea how glad I was to hear that she loved ME.
"And you're mad at me because I never told you and you even want to marry another man?" I asked suddenly when she turned around and stared out of the window again.
"Why did you have to tell me now? I'm going to get married. Why did you have to tell me!"
"Because you are going to get MARRIED!" I screamed and then she turned around and I saw those tears in her eyes.
"It would never work out." Her voice was barely a whisper.
"Let's try." I know this wasn't the smartest thing to say but… it was the truth. "We were just talking about a peace treaty all day."
"That doesn't mean they want the praetor of Yevon to be in love with the daughter of Cid." she laughed though she didn't look as if she found the situation funny in any way.
"Who cares what they think?" Then another thought hit me. "Would your Dad…"
"I think he'd find it rather funny." This time, her laughter was real and sighed in relief.
"So, you're giving this a try?"
I looked into her eyes and I knew the answer before she nodded.
"You can't imagine how glad I am to hear that." I smiled and then she kissed me.
Oh, I must have blushed crimson or something because she giggled when we broke apart for air.
"Never been kissed?" she laughed and I glared at her.
"Well, you're a thief, what should I say? This girl just stole my first kiss."
And then she kissed me again. "Not that I mind at all."
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