Chapter 1: Walking in the rain

"Every time I look at you,
You pretend to not care to look my way.
Every time I speak to you,
You brush me off with cold shoulders.
Watashi baka desu, ne?
My heart won't listen to my mind.
I want to forget you...
I wish we never met...
Why...
Why...
If this is what you call love, then I don't need it
anymore..."

"What do you think Hiro?" "Mmmm....sounds ok..." he replied hesitatingly. "WHAT!!! I stayed up all night thing about these lyrics!" I said. "I said they are ok, I didn't say they stink or anything, just need some tweaking. Remember Shuichi, we need a new song for the concert coming up this week!" "Yeah, yeah don't worry about it. It's 6:00 p.m. already!?! I need to go home early to see Yuki." I replied. "Hey Shuichi...these lyrics...they sound very personal. Is...Yuki still treating you badly?" Hiro muttered. "What? Oh...well, umm all I can say is...it's a se-cret." I half-jokingly replied, sort of shocked that Hiro could picked it up. "Ok Hiro I got to run and see my man so I'll talk to you later bye-bye ^__^!!" I shouted as I ran out of the recording studio. "Is...Yuki still treating you badly?" I thought things would changed after the Tokyo Music Fest, but Yuki's still been treating me the same way as he always been, sometimes even worse. I thought...maybe...that's how he shows that he cares about me. It's an awkward way to show that he wants me, [Or playing hard to get!]. Even now when I look at the couples on the streets holding hands, smiling, and laughing; *sigh*, Yuki and I we can never do that...together. It's not normal for two guys to hold hands, or share the same bed. When I think about that...I feel so alone. Every time Yuki and I have a chance to walk on the streets together, we can never hold each others hands, as much as I want to do so; I don't know how Yuki would feel about it. I would guess he'd object strongly. "Baka desu..." I'm such a FOOL!!! Why won't I grow up? Warm tears flowed down my cheeks, I quickly lowered my head, I didn't want anyone to see me...boys don't cry. "Hold it in Shuichi" I told myself, "hold it in, almost there". The pedestrian light turn green, I walked across the street very quickly...soon I found myself running. Tears still streaming down my face, I didn't know where I was running to nor did I care...I wanted to get away, far away. I thought to myself if you can't stop crying, at least maybe, just maybe the pain inside my heart would subside. "Oh my!" the old lady shouted. "Hey! Watch where you're going!" shouted a guy.
I couldn't stop to say sorry, I had to keep running. My eyes were soon burning, and I feel the warm tears on my chapped lips, but then on my face I felt a something wet and cold drip on my face, then several more pressured my face. I looked up not even noticing before the gray sky. I looked around, and found out I was at the park...the park where Yuki and I first met. The sound of the falling rain made my head throb with pain. I clenched my fist, trying to remember that day... I remember those deep yellow eyes, and that blonde hair flowing in the wind. It was the first time hearing his bold seductive voice, I feel in love with him them, not even knowing what his name is, or how old he is...

(flashback) [ "Is this your writing" he said.
"Ah...yes." I managed to mutter.
"You're worse than an elementary student. You shouldn't try to write love songs with your lack of skills." He said coolly. He threw the paper I had my lyrics song over his should and nonchalantly walked up to me and puff his cigarette smoke in my face, and said, "You have no talent. Give it up." ] ...that really hurt my feelings back then. I try to find him to make him apologize for what he said. But what I really wanted was to see him again.

"Yuki...why..." I whispered to myself, letting myself collapsing to the cobblestone ground. I wanted to hate him... but I couldn't as much as I want to be angry at him, I couldn't do it. Kneeling there for about fifteen minutes, soaking wet I came to my senses. I couldn't even feel the tears coming out of my eyes and streaming down my face. The wind blew over my damp body, but I didn't feel cold; I was so numb. I slowly started walking, my knees dirtied by the dirt that has washed down on the cobblestone path. In my head all I can hear myself asking, "Why?"
I trod down the street on which Yuki's place was, I couldn't call it home, I knew that if I did something that upsets him I'd be kicked out, I was scared that I would be too attached...to call it my home. I open the front glass door and felt a gush of warm air hitting my face and the front of my body. I kept walking to Yuki's apartment door, I put the bronze key into the keyhole...I stood there with my hand on the key and my other hand on the doorknob and staring at the door. When I decided to turn the doorknob it suddenly swung open and there...stood Yuki.