Title: Don't Forget To Replace The Batteries

Genre: Humor/Romance --- I'm not particularly good at Humor, so forgive me please if I inhale profusely. [not sure about the romance either...it'll be a while before it comes up though. I'm thinking some cute stuff, though;P]

Rating: PG, for whatever reasons it may not be G. Nothing bad, I promise [or morally at least --- no guarantees it's not boring-proof].

Disclaimer [applies to ALL the chapters so I don't have to do one each time:p]: I do not, nor will I ever, own the marvelous rights to Lord of the Rings. The plot, however, is mine, as far as I know:p.

*Chapter 1: Confused Prisoners of the Bathroom*

Saruman was in one of his rather...odd moods, to put it nicely. So he decided he would have some fun to spend the time. Whipping out the official "Good Wizards Turned BAD Confusion Creator" crystal ball, he cackled happily and flicked on the power switch.

"Press 1 to view random good people to play tricks on. Press 2 to view random world to create chaos in. Press 3 for automatic confusion creator," the automated, monotone voice said.

Saruman grinned evilly and paused for only a second before pressing button one.

Immediately, a mist filled the crystal ball. It read: Processing, Please Wait. When it was finally ready, it began to clear and showed a group of travelers --- nine, to be exact.

The wizard's eyes lit up with excitement, and his fingers twitched. He pressed the Save button before selecting button two.

A blue, green, and misty white orb floated inside the ball, and Saruman scratched his head. He selected Zoom and then smiled. The picture enlarged, focusing on a hall crammed with young humans. On the walls were strange looking metal sort of cabinets. It looked to Saruman like chaos already. He grinned and pressed button three.

The ball cleared and he could read "Options":

-- Set Type of Transfer

-- Set Limitations

-- Set Time Limit

Saruman quickly picked his settings:

-- Immediate Transfer

-- Equipment (includes all objects appropriate)

-- Normal Standard Change (includes race, age, and appearance)

-- Minimum Set Limitations (cannot leave designated area, cannot inform others of Middle Earth, cannot use original names)

-- No Time Limit --- Never to Forever

The wizard's eyes were aglow when he chose the last command: Create Confusion...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~

Gandalf didn't remember having gone to sleep. So when he opened his eyes, he was even more confused. He lay on a stone cold floor in a small room with curiously odd-looking shiny objects attached to the walls. On the other side of him were small rooms with swinging open doors. He rubbed his eyes. In all his life of wizardry, never had he seen such objects. He stood slowly, scratching his head, when he noticed he was not alone; His eight companions from Moria lay about his feet. But --- wait --- they looked so...strange. What were they wearing? He turned and suddenly saw himself in the wall. He gasped and stepped back. That wasn't him. His beard was short, and his hair was only just growing around his head. And --- what was he wearing? His clothes were grey and loose fitting, but tight compared to his robes. What kind of a sick joke was this?

Gandalf growled. It wasn't funny.

"Aragorn!" He began to say sharply, but all that came out was a muffled, "Argh!"

But it woke the rest of them. They all moaned and groaned in sleep until Gandalf prodded them to look in the mirror.

Aragorn's hair was neatly trimmed [for a change], and he wore a pair of khaki slacks with a plaid green shirt that had sleeves rolled just to his elbows, along with a black tie. Boromir looked much the same, but with short-sleeves and no tie. Legolas, on the other hand, screamed when he saw himself until Aragorn hit him hard enough in the head to stun him. His hair was as short as the others, which he found to be utterly unacceptable and embarrassing. His ears had lost some of their pointiness, and he spent much of his time trying to stretch them until they turned red. He wore casual Levi's Red Label jeans and a pricey Armani shirt, though his sneakers alone must have cost a fortune. But all the former elf could do was shriek silently in horror.

However, Gimli had hands down, changed the most. He was balding and had almost no beard at all. He was taller but still shorter than Legolas. He sported a fashionable stained-with-ketchup janitor's uniform, and fainted when he felt the almost beardless chin.

The hobbits, however, were delighted when they realized they were only a few inches shorter than Gandalf. Merry and Pippin both wore casual jeans and matching blue and green T-shirts that read: Greenday, in bold, white letters. Sam wore loose cargo pants and a black T-shirt that read: Melrose High School Wrestlers. Frodo was the least changed. His thick brown hair was only barely trimmed, but now hidden beneath a blue ski cap. He wore a white shirt with a plaid blue and white short-sleeved shirt over it with casual khakis.

The four of them handled the changes the best and began contests of who could touch the ceiling first until Gandalf silenced them with a stony glare.

"Now," he said, coughing, "We must find out what has happened to us. Obviously, this is more than a simple joke. *Someone* has been fiddling with power far beyond their comprehension."

He stopped, and everyone turned to look at Pippin. He turned bright red.

"Hey, don't look at me. I didn't do it."

Gandalf eyed him suspiciously before going on.

"It is my belief that we are to be trapped in this prison until we find some other way of escape ---"

A door swung open behind the already startled group. Two teenage boys walked in and then abruptly stopped, noticing the odd arrangement before them.

"Dude, this school gets weirder and weirder every day," one murmured while turning walking back out.

His friend muttered under his breath, "Yeah, man. I mean, who hangs out in the bathroom of all places?"

Their voices faded, and Gandalf looked even more confused.


A/N: Okay...what do you think? I'm thinking...I was really bored...[any advice much appreciated! And any review too! *wink wink nudge nuge*]