Aishiteru – I Love You
Baka – Idiot/Stupid
Koi – Love
"About us?" Bakura asked, combing his fingers through Yugi's spiked hair, which had been made even wilder from their previous two bouts of lovemaking.
"Mm-mm," Yugi confirmed, snuggling in closer.
Bakura sighed at this blatant show of (to him) misplaced trust, and pulled the blanket up around his lover. "If they did, that baka Pharaoh would have tried to send me to the Shadow Realm," the former tomb-raider pointed out.
Yugi snorted. "You're probably right. But I wish you wouldn't call him that."
"Yami and I will never like each other," Bakura stated. "We might – and I stress the might – get along someday, if only for yours and Ryou's sake. But we have hated each other too long to just let bygones be bygones."
Rolling over onto his side, Yugi looked into Bakura's eyes. There were shadows of remembered pain there, only eclipsed by the small sparks of hope he saw whenever he and Bakura were together. He kept hoping that maybe his presence was healing the dark spirit.
Yugi knew their time together meant a lot to him. He might even have been willing to call it love. But he knew that saying that word would scare Bakura off. At least, at this point in their relationship it would. Maybe in a few months…
"I hope so," the young hikari said, rousing himself from his thoughts. "It's so hard when we're all together, and I have to hide how I feel about you."
Bakura fidgeted for a few moments before saying, "It's not any easier for me, you know. Just because I act like I don't give a fuck, doesn't mean that's how I feel."
Yugi knew that was as close as his lover would get to saying that he too wished they were able to tell everyone.
And that he wished he were able to express himself easier.
"As long as we're together, it doesn't really matter to me if the others know," Yugi stated, one fine-bonded hand reaching out to clasp Bakura's calloused one. Rubbing the yami's palm with his thumb, he said teasingly, "Even if Ryou and I are the only ones who don't hate your guts."
Snorting, Bakura said, "What makes you think Ryou doesn't hate me? He puts up with me because he can't exactly get rid of me – even with these new bodies, both he and I are still tied to the Ring – but that doesn't mean he likes me." A look of anguish flashed across his face, then was gone as if it had never been.
Yugi shook his head and said chidingly, "Yes, you're both tied to the Ring, but the Ring never would have put you two together if you couldn't become friends – like me and Yami."
Bakura huffed and turned away, avoiding having to admit that his lover was right. "Just because you and the b– the Pharaoh are soulmates doesn't mean he'd accept me just to make you happy." Turning abruptly to face Yugi, pain etched on his face and infusing his words with emotion, Bakura said, "I worry that…if…when he finds out…he'll make you choose."
"Between him and me." Bakura gulped and continued, "That he'd give you an ultimatum – you either choose me, or you choose him. You wouldn't be able to have it both ways."
Yugi considered that for a moment before saying, "Maybe. But hopefully he'd realize that making me choose would make me unhappy." Raising his eyes to meet the dark spirit's, he said, "Besides, hopefully, by the time the others find out, they won't hate you as much. And then Yami would have no reason to make me choose."
Bakura shook his head disdainfully. "Your baseless optimism is charming, but unrealistic. You and I are like Night and Day – almost literally, in fact. If any of them found out about our relationship, they'd think I seduced you and am using some dark form of Shadow Magic to keep you in my thrall," he said, a sardonic smirk on his face.
Yugi burst out into giggles and threw his arms around Bakura's neck. "That's silly."
"But true nonetheless," Bakura pointed out.
Yugi's laughter trailed off as he thought about that. "You're probably right," he finally admitted, sighing in regret. "But we can still hope you end up being wrong."
"Hope for the best, plan for the worst," Bakura quoted softly, carding his fingers through his lover's messy tri-colored hair.
"Mm-hm," Yugi agreed.
"Yugi?" Bakura asked softly.
"Yeah?" Yugi asked, his tiredness coming back as he cracked a mighty yawn.
"Who would you choose?" Bakura asked hesitantly. "If Yami made you choose between us, would you choose me or him?"
Looking deep into his lover's eyes, Yugi said sadly, "I don't know. Yami is the other half of my soul, but you are the other half of my heart. I couldn't live without either one of you."
Though it was painful to admit, Bakura knew he had to make himself say the words. "I…couldn't live without you, either, Yugi," he murmured, almost too soft to hear.
Yugi smiled at the words. "Then let's not think about what might happen; just focus on the now," he said pragmatically.
Bakura sighed and nodded. It wasn't that he didn't like not having to share Yugi, but not being able to touch him, kiss him, or even really talk to him when they were with the others could get wearing after a while. They were pretty much living in the now; stealing moments together, and the occasional night when Yugi's grandfather was out of town and Yami was off with Kaiba.
He wished…just sometimes…that they could tell everyone, if only so they could spend more time together. Then they wouldn't have to worry about anyone finding out, because then their love wouldn't be a secret.
Yugi gave a final jaw-cracking yawn before curling up on Bakura's chest and settling in to sleep.
Bakura was kept awake for almost half an hour longer, plagued by his thoughts. Other than Ryou, he didn't really have anyone in this time besides Yugi. He would never have to choose, there would be no one to make him. Yugi might be the one to choose, but he would be the one to suffer. For in the end, Yugi would have his friends…all Bakura would have were his memories.
Sighing in regret that his feelings for Yugi weren't enough to make this situation work out, Bakura pulled his lover close and settled down to a troubled sleep, as always keeping one ear out for trouble. Right before he dropped off, he whispered, "I love you, Yugi. More than you'll ever know."
Long after Bakura's breathing had deepened into the rhythms of sleep, Yugi opened his eyes. He had pretended to be asleep so he could stay up and watch over his lover. Looking into Bakura's face, he lightly traced one finger down his lover's cheek. "Aishiteru, 'Kura-koi," he returned softly. "I would choose you…always."