Title: Hanging Jack
Author: SkyFire

Rating: PG
Summary: A certain pirate is giving poor Norrington no end of grief.
Genre: Humor/Angst.

Warnings: Character Death (but not what you think!)

Author's Notes:
1) A thought that popped into my head during that strange time between sleep and coming entirely
awake... ;oP
2) Ideas on how to flesh this out are appreciated. Flames will be laughed at, forwarded to the
Gods of Catastrophic Computer Failure, then deleted.
3) This is post-PotC.

Disclaimer: No, I'm not making money, and No, they're not mine. BUT I might just have to borrow
them for a while; take them out for a spin, some torture, h/c, rum, angst, and a few laughs.
Borrow. Really. With every intention of giving them back.... sooner or later... ;oP

*****
Hanging Jack
by SkyFire

The undead pirates --undead no longer-- were defeated. The Dauntless was reclaimed, the former
undead filling her brig to overflowing. Both Miss Swann and the Turner boy were aboard, the boy
granted clemency by the governor at his daughter's irate insistence. Jack Sparrow sat in irons in
a corner of the hold (the brig being entirely full of his former, mutinous crew), guarded by a
squad of watchful marines.

Yes, for several wonderful minutes, all was right with Norrington's world.

Then Gilette[1] brought word that the Black Pearl was gone, and everything went downhill from
there.

Leaving a complement of sailors and marines to safeguard the Dauntless in case the Pearl and her
new crew should return, Norrington led a group of men back to the isle, intent on claiming at
least a portion of the pirates' treasure for King and Country.

*It* was waiting when they got there.

//Overgrown rat,// Norrington cursed as he watched his men chasing the animal all over the cavern.
He was nursing a scratched face and bitten wrist from when the damned creature had attacked him,
ripping away one of his shiny buttons as it did so. //Thieving, overgrown, *undead* rat.//

For nearly an hour, the marines pursued the beast, with no luck.

Then, to the surprise of nearly everyone in the cavern, themselves included, the duo of Murtogg
and Mullroy managed to catch the thing and cram it into a convenient gilded birdcage. For a
brief moment there was silence as the monkey stared out of its new prison in shock. Then it began
to let loose with a series of earsplitting shrieks.

Norrington winced at the noise, his temper not helped by the bite-marks on his wrist. Glaring at
the vile beast --who hissed right back-- he ordered: "Murtogg, Mullroy, take the beast back to
the Dauntless and hang the cage up in the brig. While you are there, find out from Turner how to
remove the curse from it."

Once the monkey was gone and relative quiet restored, they were able to load the boats with
treasure without any more such annoyances.

***

*** Hanging Day ***

Norrington groaned. //Not again,// he thought tiredly.

And the morning had passed so well; the former undead pirates getting hanged one ofter the other
with no problems.

Now this.

*This* was the sixteenth? seventeenth? time they had tried to hang that blasted monkey.

The damned thing just wouldn't *die*. He could not even blame it on the curse, as they had
managed to uncurse it before they left the isle.

It would stand on the gallows like the rest of the pirates before it, staring inquisitively out
over the crowd. It stared curiously at the hangman as he lay the noose around its neck (only
biting him a few times in retaliation). It would shriek proudly at least once as the list of its
crimes were read (surely everyone in the square had the list memorized by then!).

Then the door would drop, and the monkey would *not* die.

The beast would shriek, then scamper up the post, or up the noose-rope itself to sit atop the
gallows, unharmed.

The crowd's ever-growing snickers and chuckles at eached new failed attempt didn't help matters,
either. Some had even began cheering the monkey!

But thought he was near-mortally embarrased at being what would probably go down in the history
books as the only commodore ever to order a monkey hanged, the law was the law. The monkey had
been part of the pirate crew, and engaged in active piracy. By law it had to be hanged, and
Norrington was bound to to enforce said law.

With another sigh as the hangman coaxed the monkey down from its perch yet again, Norrington
cast a glance at the sky. Yes, morning was well and truly gone. Sparrow's hanging would have to
wait for the morrow. Just another in a list of things that wasn't going as planned.

Another attempt. Another failure.

The crowd was laughing outright now.

It was unbearable.

And so he decided to alter his sentence.

That day in the square all the former undead pirates died. All but one was hanged.

The monkey was beheaded.

And Norrington finally got his button back.

END
April 25, 2004

NOTES:
[1] I'm hoping that this is the name that goes with the officer who said the mermaid comment. If
not, let me know, because I want it to be that guy! :oP

*smirk* Blame this on the plotbunnies!

Like it? Let me know! The plotbunnies and I like feedback! :oD