This is my completely wrong translation of "Kopperia no Hitsugi" (Coppelia's Coffin) – The opening song of each episode of Noir with the psychedelic colored guns and Kirika and Mirielle chasing around creation. If you want the real translation, you'll have to go to a website that does anime lyrics translations, as I don't know Japanese, and I made this one up while in a very silly mood!

Obligatory disclaimer: I don't own Noir, characters or music. If you haven't bought the Noir soundtrack, why not? It's great! I play it in my car all the time – some would say I play it a little too often, which is how this parody was created. Try listening to the "Kopperia no Hitsugi" song while reading this, it works better that way. Also, I'm assuming "Coppelia" from the song's title refers to the ballet about a mechanical doll.

Thanks to my two reviewers! Especially "Angel of Sorrow" who reminded me I forgot to mention that this is a parody of the LONG version of song. Sorry to both I couldn't figure out the first time around how to make the stanzas work. It should be better now!


Coppelia's in her casket,

A doll from a ballet has no cares compared to me.

Try being me for just one day,

An assassin in high-heeled boots (ow!)

Plus a short tight black mini skirt too.

(Pause for annoying 'ah a a ah ah' vocal effect)

Paris, France is my home base.

I've now got me a roommate.

She's a better assassin than I

But I still have the lodgings.

I pay all the rental bills.

I pay all utilities.

To pay for my daily bread,

A partner's what I need!

So what if she's got amnesia?

So what if I said I'd kill her?

At least she is not a slob,

Good roommates don't grow on trees!

Coppelia's in her casket

She does not have to worry 'bout all those nasty soldats.

Kirika and I run rings round them,

Isn't it amazing how

We bloodlessly shoot them all down too?

(Pause once again for annoying 'ah a a ah ah' vocal effect)

It's got something to do with a watch

I last saw with my father.

Kirika got her hands on it,

That's how she emailed and found me.

As soon as we can figure out

Why the watch is important,

She will get her memory back,

Then from her I'll be free!

I told her up front that I'd kill her.

She knows I'm not sentimental.

It's just those big brown puppy dog eyes,

How can you shoot Lassie?

Coppelia's in her casket,

The lucky stiff never had problems quite like this.

I've just become so used to her,

Moonlit tea parties with killers and

She remembers to water the plant too.

(LONG instrumental pause)

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad,

To stay with what I have,

But when it comes to being the boss,

She needs to know it's me!

Coppelia's in her casket,

It's Kirika and I together as team Noir.

Maybe we'll do retrievals too,

'cause Chloe stole my fork and now

I want it back so I won't look a fool.

Coppelia's in her casket.

I just found out who took my father's watch from him.

I'm shocked, but still I'm learning how

I'm better than my enemies now,

Forgiveness's something Altena can't do.