By Ekai Ungson
DISCLAIMER: Card Captor Sakura copyright CLAMP/Kodansha. Characters used without permission.
Summary: She wasn't in it for love. He was in it for forever. When their worlds collide, what will she trust? The heart she holds away from the world? Or the things she doesn't even yet know to be true or false? Eriol x Tomoyo. It's been a while.
This piece is lovingly dedicated to Ciircee. I love her so.
Her heart has been guarded, fiercely and without shame, from the world.
At first it was because her mother, who loved her very much, wanted her to never feel the pain she had felt once when she left her heart on her sleeve and suffered to pay the consequences. The pain was so much for her mother to bear that she vowed that her daughter would never suffer the same fate.
But the girl grew up, and her heart learned to love, and was later subsequently, though unintentionally, broken also, despite her mother's best wishes.
The girl then began to question why: she had loved with all of herself, completely, without keeping anything for herself. It was selfless love she had given, and yet, what she got in return was a world of pain.
Now the girl preserves her heart for herself, afraid to trust, afraid of love.
"Is that it? Are you just going to run away?" he called after her loudly in the middle of the sidewalk.
She abruptly stopped walking and turned back to look at him. "If you didn't know, the best thing I do is run away," she said curtly.
The young man studied her. In the few days they'd been together, he had been led to believe that she loved him as much as he loved her. Yet only a few minutes ago she had turned to him with an emotionless expression and broke their relationship off with nary an explanation. She refused to listen to him either, simply got out of his car and began walking away. Looking into her eyes now, her beautiful eyes that couldn't seem to be capable of lying, he saw that she held no feelings in her eyes at all. Not for him, possibly not for anyone at all.
She was sorry for having to break his heart, she mused, but not for anything of much else. When after a few minutes he still hadn't said anything, she turned around and walked away, without looking back. She had become quite adept at never looking back, never regretting a thing.
The world walked by the young man, and all that mattered to him was the girl with raven hair walking away from him.
"So you left him there? Just standing there?" Kinomoto Sakura asked the next morning, taking a sip of Jasmine tea.
Daidouji Tomoyo leaned on the kitchen counter, a mug of the same tea resting on her hands. "Why do you look like you don't know I've been doing this all the time?" she asked. "I mean, this can't be new to you, can it, Sakura-chan? The past twenty-times I've told you about it."
"It's just that… Tomoyo-chan, he seemed like a perfectly nice guy. You know, good job, great personality…" Sakura trailed off, unsure what to say next.
"He isn't what I'm looking for," Tomoyo replied curtly. The excuse, although overused, was also partly true. It was always partly true.
"You seemed very happy, Tomoyo-chan," Sakura said softly.
"Happiness is a relative thing, Sakura-chan," Tomoyo answered. "It's fleeting. Well," she straightened. "Much fun as this is, I have to go to work." She turned to her friend. "Don't even THINK of washing the dishes; I'll do them when I get home. You know I mean it, Sakura-chan—" She threw her best friend a smile before walking to her room.
Sakura stared after her. She had known Tomoyo all of her life, but damned if she could ever figure her out. Her best friend had certainly come a long way from the girl who made silly costumes and followed her around with a camera.
"… One day, I'm going to marry Daidouji-san…"
"I think our Master is being delusional," said a black winged cat, hovering above a young man, sleeping in bed.
"He could just be dreaming, Suppi-chan," berated a tall red haired woman with large butterfly wings. "You always jump to the morbid conclusions."
"Do you think we should wake him up?" asked the cat, looking up from his perch.
The woman stared long and hard at the young man. "… Whatever for? Master seems happy. He seems happier there than he ever is out here anyway. Besides," she looked to the winged cat. "I don't think he'll remember any of this in the morning."
"Like always," said the cat softly.
"Yes," the woman echoed. "Like always."
"Subsequently…" began the cat. "Why have we never wondered why he keeps dreaming of that girl?"
"Because, Suppi-chan, there is nothing to wonder about," replied the woman. "He loves her."
"Are we sure?"
"Suppi, if you dreamed about only one girl in a span of ten plus years, you'd either have stalker tendencies or simply be in love."
"If he really loved her, you'd think he'd remember these dreams in the morning. As it is, he's been dreaming of her these ten years since he came back here. Even Kaho-san noticed, and gave way."
"Notice how he wasn't very broken up about that at all, considering that he thinks he loves her," the woman said. "Which proves my point."
"What point would that be?"
"He loves Daidouji-san. He kind of just doesn't know it yet."
The two creatures stared at each other.
"So we're not telling him?"
"You know, he created us to be cunning and sly, just like he is."
They smiled at each other.
Author's notes: Well, this has been refreshing! It's been almost a year, hasn't it? Maybe more? Oh, goodness, I missed doing this. I kind of have more time on my hands now, and my imagination is running as scheduled. ^_^ More later. Oh, and the chapter title "black cadillac" is a song by Dan Mackenzie. Listen to that if you can get the running joke. ^_^