Title: It's Just a Bit of Fun

Author: Silverkitsune

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: The Lord of the Rings trilogy is property of J.R.R. Tolkien, New Line, Peter Jackson, and any and all others who actually paid for the rights to it.

The following scenes were under consideration for all three of the popular Lord of the Rings movies. However, they never made it to the final cut do to creative differences between writers, cast and the repeated rolling over that came from the grave of one J.R.R Tolkien.

Aftermath of the Battle of the Pelennor Fields: Alternate scene # 14

Aragorn sheathed his sword, his body tired and soul weary. Pulling some of his unwashed hair out of his eyes, he turned to face Legolas.

"Let me see if I completely understand this," the future king said with a tired voice. "The ghosts did their job just fine. They went out over the field and through the castle destroying every single one of the orcs, trolls, wargs and Easterlings."

Legolas smiled brightly, "That's correct."

"But they got a little confused at what we wanted them to do," Aragorn continued, "and along with killing all of the orcs, trolls, wargs and Easterlings, they also killed all of the Gondorian soldiers, the civilians, the Rohirrim, the horses, and anyone else who got in their way."

Legolas nodded, "That sounds about right."

At this point the tired ranger brought his blood soaked hand up to his face, and pinched the bridge of his nose. He could feel a headache coming on.

"So what you're telling me is that Gandalf is now dead."

"For real this time," Legolas agreed.

"And Pippin."

"Yes."

"And Denethor."

"Yes."

"And Faramir."

"I would imagine."

"And Merry."

"Uh huh."

"And Gimli."

"Sadly, yes."

"And Eomer."

"It would be lying to say no."

"And Theoden."

"Well, technically his horse crushed him to death. The ghosts had nothing to do with it."

Aragron threw his hands into the air in frustration.

"Well, by the Valar who is still alive?!"

Tilting his head just enough so that the afternoon sun would illuminate his mane of golden hair, Legolas pouted thoughtfully as he considered the question.

"Well, there's you……and me….."

"Right," Aragorn encouraged.

"I think that's it."

The future king's entire body slumped in defeat.

"Oh, well that's just perfect now isn't it?!"



Hobbits Return Home: Alternate scene #2

The line to get in had been odd. The seemingly endless parade of hobbits and men waiting in one neat file in order to walk through the unfamiliar gates had almost been enough to send them back to Gondor, but they had dealt with it. The newly erected souvenir shop in place of what had once been Brace Harbuttles House of Pies had been a little harder to accept, but the foursome had managed to hold their tongues in the face of the unknown. It wasn't until they saw the black mouse, naked and unashamed as the day he was born save for a pair of blood red shorts, two golden buttons staring out like two great Eyes, painted across the Town Hall that Frodo, Sam, Merry and Pippin truly began to grasp the horror that had engulfed the Shire while they had been away.


Bilbo's Birthday: Alternate scene #7

The cake was monstrous. Triple layered and coated in a thick vanilla icing, yellow sugar spun roses circling each thick, mouth watering level. Sam felt himself beginning to salivate even before a strong breeze brought the smell of sugar to his nose.

"It's a magnificent," Sam said softly. So magnificent, that it almost made up for the fact that he had yet to lay eyes on Rosie Cotten that night.

Next to him Merry nodded..

"It's the biggest desert I've ever seen. You could hide a whole hobbit in that monster," Sam continued. He took anther glace at the skillfully crafted confectionary and sighed. "Miss. Rosie would have loved to see something as lovely as this."

To his left he heard Pippin snort. Merry in turn winked at Pippin.

"Well, Sam," Merry said throwing an arm over the other hobbits shoulder, and grinning cheekily in the direction of the cake. "Let's just say that I do believe Rosie is going to be "popping" up any minute now."