Link meets Croc hunter, Steve Irwin!

By: Shannon

(NOTE: I do not own the characters in the fanfic....this combines one of my favorite games with one of my favorite shows)

It was such a beautiful day that Link decided to take Zelda and their two children, Link II and Cordelia, to the Hyrule Zoo. They packed knapsacks full of food since the food sold at the zoo was pretty expensive.

"Daddy, daddy!" the children screamed in unison. "Let's go see the pandas!"

"Honey," said Zelda. "Let's go see the monkeys."

"Pandas, pandas!" the children continued to scream out loud.

"Okay, okay!" shouted Link. "We'll go see the pandas first, then we'll go see the monkeys, all right?"

The children cheered in delight as the four of them went to see the panda exhibit.

"Daddy," said Link II, when they got to the panda exhibit. "This is nice but I wanna see the monkey exhibit now."

"We just got here, Junior," said Link.

"Yeah Junior, we just got here," said Cordelia.

"Cordelia, please don't do that," said Link. "Anyway, you and your sister have been BEGGING for the past 15 minutes to see the pandas and NOW you want to see the monkeys?"

"Oh all right," said Link II. "I think I'll stay here a little longer."

"Good. I don't want to be rushing from exhibit to exhibit."

"Daddy, daddy!" shouted Cordelia, who was jumping up and down.

"What is it hon?" asked Link.

"Can we see the snake exhibit now?"

Sometime later on, Link and his family were walking around the Hyrule Zoo when they looked on their map.

"On the map here, it says there's a crocodile show at 11 a.m.," said Zelda. "Do you guys want to go?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah!" screamed the children. "We want to go!"

"Yeah, I'll go," said Link.

"Looks like the votes are unanimous," said Zelda. "Okay, we'll go see the crocodile show.

They went down to the show theatre and sat down in the front row. A blonde-haired guy named Steve came out to greet the crowd (bear in mind that Steve is an Aussie and speaks with an Aussie accent).

"G'day everyone and welcome to Hyrule Zoo's Croc Show!" said Steve happily. "I hope you enjoy the show and learn some amazing facts about crocs!"

"This guy doesn't sound so great," muttered Link under his breath. "If he's so good, why doesn't he get rid of that snake that's been bothering the horses in the stable?"

"Shh!" said Zelda as she nudged Link in the ribs. "Be quiet and enjoy myself."

"I'll be quiet but I won't enjoy myself."

"All right," said Steve. "Now this ere' croc that's coming out...his name's Agro. He hates me but I love him to death. He's the biggest croc we have here in the zoo. A team of zookeepers and my wife Terrri, are bringing him out now."

Agro moves around fiercely at the people carrying him into the arena. The zookeepers manage to put him in front of Steve and run off backstage. Agro snaps at Steve and looks angrily at him.

"Now remember folks, don't try this at home," said Steve, dodging Agro's attacks. "Crocs, especially freshwater crocs, are known to cause severe injury and even death to humans walking unknowingly into their territory." Agro snaps at him again, almost biting his leg. He snapped again at Steve, nearly missing his arm.

"Ah crikey!" shouted Steve. "Agro almost got me' limbs!" The zoo staff was called in to remove Agro after Steve finished talking about him. After several more demonstrations with crocodiles, Steve decided to demonstrate his expertise with a venomous snake.

"Now you see here is a death adder," he said, holding the black snake away from him. "One bite from this fella' and you're dead!" The adder took a swing at Steve, just barely missing his nose.

"Ooooh, close one," said Steve. "You're all right, Mate. I ain't gonna hurt ya. Again, I do not recommend that you try this at home. We are trained professionals here at the zoo and we know what we're doing."

Steve gently put the death adder back in the aquarium box he came in and put the lid over it. "Whew, that was close!" said Steve. "But isn't he a gorgeous snake?"

Zoo staff promptly escorted the death adder off of the stage. "Well, that concludes the show," said Steve. "There's another show at 1:30 and another one at 3:15. Have a g'day at the Hyrule Zoo!" He waved to visitors exiting the show stage and then whistled to Link and his family exiting the stage.

"Hey Mate," said Steve. "I hear ya got a snake problem."

"Well, yeah," said Link. "But I don't think you can help. We've tried everything. Exterminators, my castle guards, and I even tried to remove the snake but it keeps killing our chickens and scaring the living heck out of our horses. It even bit my horse, Epona, and she had to be rushed to the Hyrule Royal vet for an antivenom shot."

"Well, your Highness," said Steve. "I'd be happy to remove the snake fer ya."

"Will you go out and exterminate it or something because I DON'T want that thing coming back."

"Oh no, we don't do anything like that," said Steve. "We'll take it here to the zoo so it will be safe. And you can be sure that it will NEVER come back, Mate."

The next morning, Steve and his wife Terri arrived at Hyrule Castle along with a camera crew promptly at 8 a.m. They met Link at the castle gates.

"Hey, what's with the camera crew?" asked Link rather angrily.

"Oh, this is going to be filmed as part of a documentary," said Terri, Steve's wife.

Link's frown turned into a smile. "You mean we'll all be on TV?"

"Sure," said Steve. "You'll be famous."

"I'm already famous. I'm the King of Hyrule, remember?"

"Oh yeah," said Steve. "Well, anyway, show me where this snake is."

The camera crew, Terri, and Steve followed Link into the stable where a giant rattlesnake was hidden in a bale of hay, with its rattle sticking out of it, rattling noisily. It came out of the bale, curled up, and shook its tail violently, an indication that it wanted to be left alone.

"All right," said Steve. "We got ourselves here a GIANT rattler. This here's a male and he's been causin' some trouble in the royal stable. He's about the maximum length for a rattler and by the rattle in his tail, you can tell he's very grumpy."

Steve snuck behind the rattler, grabbed him by the tail and pulled him up from the ground. "Isn't he gorgeous?" The rattler took a swing at Steve, just barely missing his chin. "Whoa! You're all right Mate. You're all right. We're gonna take you to the Hyrule Zoo where we'll keep you safe and out of trouble. Now remember folks, don't try this at home." He carefully placed the rattler in an aquarium box where Terri covered it up with a hole-poked lid.

"From the looks of this guy, he packs a lot of venom," said Terri to the camera. "But when rattlers like these bite, it only takes about 8 to 10 hours before th venom actually kills someone or something, depending on the size of the creature that gets bitten."

After they got the rattler in their SUV, Steve and Terri waved bye to Link and drove back to the Hyrule Zoo.

"My gosh, that was close," said Link. "Hey Ingo!" he called out to the main stablehand. "You can move the horses back into the stables now! The snake's gone!"

"I don't know if that's possible," said Ingo, standing on a stool, used to sit on while milking cows. "You need to call Steve and Terri back here."

"Why, is there another snake?"

"No, there's a little gray mouse in the bale of hay over there." He pointed to a small mouse sitting by a bale of hay, eating a peanut.