THE CONSPIRACY OF THE PINK LIMO

Many proclaim that there is no true villain in the epic tale of Gundam Wing. Oh, but my friends, there is! Every sorrowful battle, every death, and every possible thing that went wrong in that show can be solely blamed on that blasted pink limo of Relena's. The truth will be revealed at last!

The beginning is usually a good place to start. Car companies of AC 195 had a terrible grudge on everyone in general. Why? Just because! Oh, no wait, it was because pink was definitely under appreciated. They had a lot of anger and they needed to vent out on someone and what was the perfect way of doing so? By creating a vehicle so deadly that no one could even see through its disguise. The head honcho, we'll call him Jim Bob, decided to kill off a few bunnies and mix their dead bodies into the construction of this 'evil' vehicle. Apparently, the blood was mixed with the white paint and hence, the terribly hated color pink was created. On went the production of the vehicle that ended up being a limo, as we all know. How did it end up in Relena's hands? We'll get to that.

That blasted limo was cursed from the day it turned pink! Who drives in a pink limo anyway? Heck, who wants to even be seen cruising around town in pink? Oh, yeah that'll definitely make you popular with the ladies. Getting off track here, anyway, so the limo is pink! Treize gets quite upset with this sorry-for-an-excuse vehicle and decides to blow the whole world up. He finds a group of his minions to destroy the pinkness but to no avail, he's misguided and perhaps even brainwashed by the pink limo. PINK PINK EVERYWHERE!!! Who wouldn't go insane? Speaking of insane, Wufei is also affected by this disgusting limo. Why on earth would he act completely psychotic one minute and then normal the next? Hell, he didn't even have a normal minute in that show. Anyway, back to Treize, so he's quite angered at this pink limo and decides to blow everyone up. Right, we got that far.

The Gundam Pilots thought they were doing everyone a favor by destroying OZ, but in fact, they were really trying to protect us all from that blasted pink limo! Starting things off with Heero: OK so he's a bit anti-social. Who wouldn't be? What more can the man say but "Man, I really hate that pink limo. I really need to blow something up!"

What about Duo? You think he's always perky? Dammit, that pink limo drove him so insane that the intensity fried his brain cells. So now, everyone's stuck with Duo being upbeat 24/7, where everyone's waiting for the opportunity to pop him in the head.

OK, Trowa. He's easy. Why do you think he covers half his face the whole time? Dammit! He's trying to avoid that blasted pink limo. Who wants to look at that? Geez!

You think Quatre was always so nice and goddamn annoying? NO, sir! It was that blasted pink limo.

Wufei, yeah we sort of covered him in the beginning. CRAZY that man!!!! He needs a hair-cut! So much anger in that man too! Mr. Chang needs some anger management, perhaps with Adam Sandler and Jack Nicholson. Spend a few days with them and he's good as new, well... maybe.

Let's discuss Zechs for a minute. We all love Zechs, right? Right! OK, so what's up with him and his mask? I'll tell what, he was getting fed up with that blasted pink limo that he thought maybe if he just hid his face, he would never have to deal with the ugly car ever again. Regrettably, his plan was unsuccessful and so he also turned insane. Man, they all turned insane. As a result of his unstable psyche, he soon joined up with White Fang, in hopes to destroy that pink limo.

The scientists tried desperately to kill off that limo as well. Their means of retaliation were through the Gundams. They poured their heart and soul into those damn things to destroy that blasted pink limo. Dr. J and the gang thought it would be a good idea to produce such powerful gadgets that perhaps they could strike terror into that pink limo by coming down with such force that they would be mistaken for meteors. Hence, that's how the name Operation Meteor came to be! The true essence of the mission was to destroy that blasted pink limo.

Saving the best for last. Now, why on earth did Relena have the pink limo? It was a gift from Jim Bob, see, and she thought it looked really pretty with her pink frilly dress that we, fortunately, didn't see on the show. She thought it was the best gift ever and decided to keep that disgusting pink limo. Geez, Relena! Get a new hobby! OK So all her craziness that many people argue that she has, were also from the evilness of the limo. Spending so much time in that vehicle made her go crazy! Why do you think she continuously called out Heero's name like she was imitating Tarzan?

"HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" MAN, blame it on that blasted pink limo!

The pink limo is at fault here, ladies and gentlemen. We must put a stop to this! Now that the truth is out, we must unite and FIGHT!!!! Together, we can finally destroy the blasted pink limo!!

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Note: Flames, I welcome!!