DEDICATION:  For Lars (ygrane), 'Femme, Murasaki, Gaycrow, Els-chan, book_wyrm and all the other "Aunts" who've kept Katerina company while she was sick and mercilessly.  For everyone who's loved As You Wish.   And to Frances (vileseagulls) who shamelessly let loose the monster Plot Tigger that became "How To Live Happily Ever After."

Katerina's Stories
by Katerina Potter-Snape
Age 6 going on 7 (on July 31!)

My Story

Jimmy has a Mummy. That's my Aunt Hermione. She's warm and funny and reads lots of books and tells us lots of neat stuff that Papa says is "useful informayshun." Oh wait. I think I spelled that wrong.

It's "information." Papa says I should always check a dictionary when I'm not sure of my spelling. Daddy says I'm very good at spelling. Papa says that's because I got his brains and not Daddy's.

Daddy just rolls his eyes at that. Actually, Daddy's very, very smart too and he's just not good at what Papa's best at, which is Potions. Daddy is very, very good at this other thing…um, it's long…he has a book on it. Here it is:

DEFENSE AGAINST THE DARK ARTS. Daddy teaches that at school. And Papa teaches Potions.

Daddy says there's all kinds of smarts and he's got one kind while Papa's got the other.

Papa can be very silly sometimes, even if he doesn't want to 'fess up to that. But Daddy says "I love you anyway, you greasy git."

I said that to Jimmy once and he tattled to his Mummy and said I called him a "greasy git." What was wrong with that? Daddy says it to Papa all the time, just the same way Uncle Ron calls Aunt Hermione "dear." And Papa always calls Daddy "brat" the same way Aunt Hermione calls Uncle Ron "darling."  It's very sweet.

Grown-ups can be very confusing. Yes, I know what that word means. I looked it up in the dictionary.

Anyway, Jimmy has a Mummy and a Daddy – that's Uncle Ron. He's got red hair and freckles, just like Uncle Ron does. But his hair's all bushy, like Aunt Hermione's and his front teeth stick out a bit. Aunt Hermione says they'll fix it when they're per-ma-nent with magic. At least he doesn't ever need to wear braces on his teeth which look icky and like they hurt a lot. I saw it in a picture that Jimmy's grandparents gave him. They're Muggle dentists.

I have my Daddy and my Papa and Grandpa Albus and Grandma Min and lots and lots of Uncles and Aunts. I don't have a Mummy.

I asked Daddy why, one day and I think he looked a bit sad and he asked me, do I miss having a Mummy?

And I didn't want him to be sad and I said "Of course not!" And I have him and Papa so I don't really need a Mummy. I was just curious because Jimmy told me all babies come out of Mummies and I thought I was just supposed to have one. That's the rules – at least that's what Jimmy says.

Papa says that for every rule there's an ex-cep-tion (I checked that too) and he says that means we Potters usually break all the rules. Especially Daddy. And I'm half a Potter so I count too.

And Daddy just laughs and says I was the happiest surprise he ever got because he got me on his birthday. So we share the same birthday.

People say I look like my Daddy a lot – they say we have the same eyes. Papa says it's lucky I never got his nose. I like Papa's nose though and so does Daddy. Papa says we're both "daft."

But Daddy says I've got Papa's hands and just maybe I might end up as much a Slytherin as he was. But I'm not supposed to let Papa know that because Papa will never let Daddy hear the end of it.

So I don't have a Mummy. I just have my Daddy and my Papa and they're the bestest – I mean, the best in the world. I love them very very much.

So that's my story. I want to play with the Jr. Firebolt Auntie Lars sent me but I'm still sick. And Daddy's getting me more juice and some cookies. He's going to continue my fairy story when he comes back. I like that story a lot.


And Then Came Waverly

Papa has been sick for the past couple of days.

I hear him throwing up in the bathroom every morning. And he's grouchier than usual - which is really really grouchy, even for Papa. Daddy tells me that we have to be really quiet and keep out of Papa's way for a while.

Papa doesn't mind seeing me though. That's because I don't run around and make noise like "the lot of dunderheads" he teaches. I just cuddle up to him and pat his hair. And his tummy. He likes that. He says I'm restful.

Daddy and I are both worried about Papa. It's not like him to be so sick. He doesn't get sick that often really. Uncle Ron says that's because Papa's too "ornery to get sick" and Daddy twhapped him upside the head for that.

Aunt Hermione said that Uncle Ron deserved that. She was trying to look serious but I could tell she really wanted to laugh. Silly Uncle Ron.

Anyway, Daddy has been trying to get Papa to go to Aunt Poppy for days! But Papa was so stubborn. He insisted that it was just a stomach upset. Or maybe something disagreed with him at dinner. He said that he'll just take a potion and he'll be just fine.

Chocolate makes him feel better though, more than any old potion. I shared the chocolates I got from Aunty Lars at Ostara and Papa liked that.  A lot.

But Daddy finally had enough and well, he and Papa yelled at each other. A lot. They don't really fight that much, you see. Papa doesn't like making Daddy sad and neither does Daddy. And they do a lot of the kissing stuff after they fight, to say they're sorry. They really like doing the kissing stuff.

Silly Daddy and silly Papa. They should just kiss and not fight at all. But Daddy tells me it's just part of being married. Sometimes you disagree with the person you love. Hmph. When I grow up and get married, I'm not going to fight with my husband.

Papa looked a little green when I said that though. He said something about sending me into a "convent" when I was old enough but I don't know what that is. Anyway, I'm not going into any old convent - I'm going to Hogwarts, just like Daddy and Papa did.

So Papa went to Aunty Poppy today and we found out why Papa's been so sick.

Papa's not sick at all.

He's pregnant.

Papa threw a wobbly when he found out. He said he was going to "wring Aunty Stitch's neck" and hex Daddy "into oblivion" for doing this to him. But Daddy was so happy when he found out. He kissed Papa right there in the infirmary, in front of Aunty Poppy and she turned red and giggled.

I giggled too. I'm going to be a Big Sister!

I think I'm going to tell Papa I want a baby sister of my own. And I've been looking at this book of baby names Aunty Hermione lent me.

Waverly is a nice name for a new baby sister, isn't it?


And Arthur Makes Three

I was really looking forward to being a Big Sister.

Madam Pomfrey said I was right about having a baby sister. And Daddy liked the idea of naming her Waverly.

Papa rolled his eyes and called us both "incurable romantics" but that's Papa-speak for "Yes, I like the name Waverly too." Papa-speak is a very complicated language, Daddy tells me. It took him ages to figure it out but he says it's really nice to understand what Papa is really saying underneath all the snarking he does.

Aunty Stitch calls Papa "His Snarkiness" - something Papa does NOT appreciate.

Papa was still pretty grouchy about being pregnant. Aunty Stitch said that "a cranky, pregnant Snape is the most frightening, formidable creature on God's green earth" and Aunty Lars always sent me a lot of chocolate to give to Papa. But Papa was still pretty grumpy about the whole thing and he did a lot of snarking until Daddy grew tired of it and dragged him off into their bedroom so they could yell at each other without the whole of Hogwarts hearing.

Of course, I think they did a LOT of the kissing stuff when they were done fighting. Aunty Stitch turned pink and covered my ears when I heard Daddy make this funny noise. She said that we'd better go outside and play and leave them alone.

It was a couple of months later that Daddy started getting sick in the mornings and well, I was the one who made him go see Madam Pomfrey. After all, it's my job to look after Daddy. Papa, too.

Anyway, Madam Pomfrey gave Daddy a big surprise when she told him he was pregnant too.

And that I was going to have a little brother a couple of months after my little sister arrives.

Papa said that "At least, I'm not going to suffer this indignity alone!"

Uncle Ron said that Papa and Daddy were almost like Weasleys now -  were they going to have twins next? Daddy hexed him with a TWHAPPUS! for that and Aunt Hermione giggled and said Uncle Ron definitely deserved it.

Jimmy was so jealous that I was going to get a little sister AND a little brother at the same time! He's just going to get a little brother now, though. He's asking my Aunt Hermione if she can have triplets next, which kinda made her turn green. Silly Jimmy.

Personally, I think it's because I need help looking after Papa and Daddy. They are a handful, really. It's so hard to bring up parents, do you know that? Especially mine.

Waverly's so cute - she's got a bit of red in her hair, which Daddy says comes from Grandma Lily. She's a happy baby and she loves it when I tickle her tummy and play peek-a-boo. She's got Daddy's eyes too. I think she's going make a good assistant for looking after Papa when she grows up a bit.

Papa and Daddy were funny arguing about names for my little brother though. The ghost of great-godfather Sirius said it would be nice if we named the baby "James" but Papa bellowed that "no son of mine will be named James!" He still doesn't like Grandpa James very much.

Daddy didn't want to name my baby brother James either but he said it would be nice as a second name. Sorta like mine is Liliane for Grandma Lily and then Waverly got Minerva for Grandma Min. I thought Arthur was a nice name - Arthur James - and Daddy and Papa thought so too.

When Papa first saw Arthur though, the first thing he said was, "Oh, dear Merlin, he's got my nose."

Daddy laughed and said, "I rather like your nose."

I was holding Waverly then (and very carefully, the way Madam Pomfrey taught me). She giggled when she heard that and I agreed, "It's a nice nose, Papa." We both like Papa's nose too.

Papa sighed. "He's not going to think so once he gets older."

Daddy smiled. "I don't know. I imagine he'd be quite the dashing fellow when he grows up. Like his other father."

Papa snorted. "You're daft, do you know that?"

Waverly and I looked at our new baby brother then. He scowled at us and looked really grouchy. We giggled. "Papa! He looks just like you when he scowls!"

Daddy groaned even as Papa lifted Arthur out of his cot. "Isn't it a little too early to be teaching him the patented Snape Death Glare, love?"

"Some things can't be taught," Papa murmured and he and Arthur were looking at each other, like they were talking about something, only Arthur was too young to talk back. "He comes by that naturally, I'm afraid."

Daddy grinned. "Now that is a terrifying thought." He reached out and Papa gave Arthur over to him and then he took Waverly from me - she was getting a little heavy.

When Daddy cuddled Arthur, that was the first time I saw my baby brother smile.

He smiles just like Papa too.

- end of this section –

NEXT:  How To Live Happily Ever After