YuFfo! – Chapter 1 "The Most Boring Chapter You Will See Throughout This Multi-Part Story..."

The Intergalactic Meteoric Destruction Headquarters is a large hunk of metal surfing on the waves of Earth's orbit. It's virtually one, big, spinning titanium box. IMDHQ is where everything concerning FBMD's operations take place. FBMD stands for the Federal Bureau of Meteoric Destruction. We do pretty much what our title suggests... we destroy meteors and asteroids. The only reason behind it is to assure the people down below on our home surface, our planet will never suffer another asteroid collision. It's unlikely that one would hit us, but we travel far and wide to destroy them anyway. That way, the planet won't panic.


"Line up before me! Line up!" A large, fuzzy faced man shouted to the trainees. Every one of them seemed uneasy. It was their first time at Headquarters, and Commander Dormul wasn't the most inviting first sight. The poor trainees were scared to death.

Once the trainees made themselves somewhat presentable, Commander Dormul checked each of them, thoroughly dissecting them with his eyes. He obviously had a lot of experience in this field. The medals on his jacket made that more than apparent, however, the trainees' expressions were the only proof of their previous achievements. They weren't worth anything, though. Dormul already knew what he'd have to put up with. Juvenile punks who had no prior working experience, ex-demolition workers that had only worked under gravity, pilots that had been laid off that also only knew gravity... None of the trainees had ever been in space until now, and they all looked skinny and pathetic. They let space devour them, and it had probably only taken a few weeks to reach headquarters.

One trainee in particular, didn't look the least bit scared. He looked excited. But, he also looked like he was about eight years old. Dormul stopped and stared at him for a long time.

He bent down to the boy's level. "How old are you, kid?"

The boy smiled wider than he had been smiling. "Thriteen."

Dormul snorted, and muttered under his breath. "You look like a four year old." He stood up straight again. "What is your name?" He said in a strong and demanding voice. Any other trainee would have been scared out of their mind.

The boy let out a cute little chortle, and responded with "Mouhma."

The cheerful attitude of this kid was starting to annoy the commander. "Child, do you realize that this is a man's job!?"

Mouhma rocked on his feet. "Yeah, wull, the ad said fourteen and up is okay."

"Yes, well, you're lacking the requirements by a year." He grunted. "You'll go to the shuttle station and wait for a ride home."


"No buts! Out!" He pointed with an angry fist toward the shuttle station.

The little boy looked down, his platinum blond bangs fell into his face, but it didn't help to cover his expression, because he was shaking, and his voice quivered. "I-I just wanted to join the team."

"This isn't a child's game, boy. Go home."

Mouhma looked back up at him, then ran towards the station.

Dormul watched him run, then shook his head. As he began to turn back to the other trainees, Mouhma's sneaker squeaked, as he took a sharp turn towards the simulation rooms, Dormul whirled back around.

He started after him. "Waait! Stupid kidddd!!"

I followed for some reason. Yes, I was one of those trainees, and I was a juvenile punk who was laid off by the airport I flew for because I was a minor, and I quit my other job, demolishing old buildings and casinos. I was normally fit, but I think space took its toll on me. I was also shaking when I met the commander. But that moment, when Mouhma ran off, I let curiosity wash over me. I had to follow.

When I went into the simulation rooms, I couldn't help but stop and watch some of the more experienced pilots doing what they do best. The job that I wanted. And the job I needed. Meteoric Demolition isn't exactly a high paying job, but for thrill seekers... adventure lovers... sci-fi romanticists like myself... the pay doesn't matter one bit.

Before I knew what was going on, a female commander was breathing down my neck. I jumped, because the woman's breath was icy cool. I faced her, quivering again. She studied me.

"Humf, a trainee...? Who in the hell gave you permission into this area. This is for winged novices and higher... only!"

I stammered for an excuse... okay... so I had to lie a little. "I'm... I was sent here by Commander Dormul, ma'am. There's another trainee who's under aged and refusing to obey his orders to ah... go back to the shuttle. The Commander requested my help... is all..."

She gave me a disbelieving look. I didn't think she was buying it, until she said, "Alright. But stop day dreaming about the ships. You've got a long way to go to get to this point... if you last."

With that, she walked away. I felt somewhat annoyed. Like I wouldn't last. That grubby whore... who did she think she was?

Suddenly a loud crash sounded throughout the halls, and I was knocked off my feet. A small hover mecha came zipping down the narrow hall straight towards me. I tried to back up, on all fours, but the leg clipped me in the side and dragged me through the hallways. Needless to say, I was knocked out. I have no idea what happened that day, but it really changed my life...


I awoke aboard an actual FBMD Zipper. I knew all about the Zipper. A ship, powered by hyper-thrust jets, ...small for easy maneuverability, and a piece of work with it's special function, Hyperspace. I learned that you use that when you're kind of in a pickle with asteroid particles. You basically vanish out of the way of the asteroid. The only risk is that you don't know where you'll end up. It's totally random. There's another function on the ship, but it's not recommended to use it unless under alien attack. A ship that wards a special kind of blast from an alien ship. Sideran ships to be precise. Sideran bullets can't hit you when you use that. The problem with that new piece of equipment is that the shield uses a lot of heat. If you leave it idle long enough... BAM!! That's it. Your tanks explode and space claims the small fragments of your body and ship.

The Zipper is equipped with only one type of bullet. It's actually quite deceiving. It's no bigger than a missile from a bazooka... but it can tear apart asteroids like nothing. The Sideran mass-produced ships are also no match for the bullets.

I've talked so much about these Siderans... yet I haven't really told you why they always open fire on the FBMD ships. They don't like that we destroy the meteors -- obviously. Their currency is formed on the surface of the asteroids after two to three thousand light years. They have two enemies. Us, the FBMD, and UGAM (United Galactic Astral Mining co.). UGAM is different than us. They're based in the US down on Earth. They found a way to pump oil from the asteroids, so they mine and harvest the asteroids, taking what the Siderans think is theirs.

Siderans actually look a lot like us humans, but they have very oddly colored hair. Some natural hair colors are pink and green and blue. They really are strange...

They have their own force, we call the Triple YS. I've never been to Sidera, but hell, even if I wanted to I'd be shot down...

The Triple YS are the bastards that fire on us. The full name is the Yalcoht Yivenr-ga Yuleilse Siderum which translates in our language to the Sideran Mining co. for Sideran profit. There's some background. Take that and suck on it.

Anyway, getting back to the story. I woke up aboard a Zipper. That little platinum blond kid was sitting in the control seat, half asleep.

I sat up. "What are we doing? Where are we?"

"3Z-900 area 7. Interstellar Hell..." He replied.

I started to panic. This was where only the best of best Asteroid Demolitionists ventured within Earth's territory. I was surprised to see that we were still in one piece, and that all the asteroids were gone.

"What happened?"

"I blew up all the asteroids." He said, then closed his eyes.

I just sat there in amazement. He had to be lying, but if he was, who did destroy those huge-ass rocks!?

I would sleep on that one...