An: I haven't written one for a while, so I decided to try my hand at new a fic. This is the prologue. Hopefully I'll have Ch. 1 up soon. Please review, I'd appreciate it. Tell me what you think of it, even if it's not a praise. Well, here it goes!

Disclaimer: I do not own gundam wing. I only own my plot. Do not sue me. Thank you.


Prologue –

Relena Peacecraft sat alone in her room, head buried in her hands. "How did it all go so wrong?" She mumbled over and over, tears brimming over her fingers and trickling down her arms. If only she had done this, or she hadn't done that; but it was too late for 'if only.'

She had cancelled all of her appointments for the day the night before when she had returned home from Aruba. The vacation had originally been planned to relieve the stress of the Vice Foreign Minister, not create more. However, the plan had backfired. It seemed even the crystal clear blue- green waters and warm white sand beaches had not eased her anxiety. Virtually all she had done since returning home was cry.

The night before she had arrived back at the Peacecraft estate around six p.m. After calling Miliardo to assure him she was home safe and sound, she had retired to her room and not come out since.

She had never changed her clothes. She still wore the same flimsy knee- length pink and blue skirt and cream peasant top she had stepped on the plane in the morning before. Her hair, however, was now full of knots from tossing her in bed and the salty tears embedded in each strand.

Her shoes and bags were just inside her door, neatly placed by the wall. There was only one item that had been unpacked, a teddy bear. She had held it close to her all night as she cried and prayed for sleep, and as she now still wept, sitting in a chair at her desk in the far corner of her room, she held it still. She twisted its tattered brown fur between her fingertips and gently hugged it against her tiny, shaking frame.

"You cannot keep this up. You have to rationalize, Relena." She told herself, in a strong, determined tone. She held the bear up and looked at it. "Why do I love you?" Her eyes demanded an answer, but it was just a stuffed animal. She knew she would get no reply. "I should hate you..." She sighed, looking down. "You should hate me..." She paused a moment, then looked at it again. "It is all your fault! You ruined my life!" She threw the teddy bear as hard as she could across the room. It hit her door with a thud and fell to the ground. Then, the teardrops resumed.

"I hate you Heero Yuy," she mumbled over and over, with a few "it's all your faults"s mixed in. Her hands writhed in her lap, and the ring she was wearing on her finger began to cut the skin on her hands. She didn't even notice as a few drops of blood stained her dress. The pain of the cuts didn't hurt nearly as bad as the pain inside her heart. No, she could handle physical pain, but she had been forced to handle this emotional pain too long. She had to make a decision.

She took out a peace of paper and drew a line down the middle. At the top of on the left she wrote 'Pros,' and on the right she wrote 'Cons.' Under the two headings, she drew a line across the paper. "Fear of commitment" was the first item on the right, and "Willingness to risk his own life for mine" was the first on the left. For a moment, she smiled, but as she continued on, the cons began to fill and the pros seemed less and less admirable. She put down the pencil and picked up the paper, reading over them one last time. Then, she ripped it apart until the shards were too small to even tell they had been written on.

"There's just too much that's wrong..." She whispered, wishing with all her heart she could find a way to erase all the bad things and focus on the good, but even she had messed up. There was too much wrong to make everything right. Even if Heero would admit he loved her again. Even if he wanted a relationship, if she told him....No, he'd never be able to love her. She had to face it. They were just to wrong for one another. Maybe she should have seen it as a fifteen year old kid, but now she could see it as a twenty year old woman. They were too wrong for each other for anything to ever be right. No matter how much she loved him, she'd have to let him go.

"Miss Relena?" Paegan's familiar voice streamed through the door, after an almost unheard knock.

She stood and straightened her dress, wiping the tears away, then opened the door. "Yes Paegan?"

"Mr. Yuy is here to see you." Her breath caught in her throat. Heero. She hadn't expected him to come back. She hadn't expected it to be easy, but she had expected to have more time before she had to turn him away. Maybe it wasn't too late. She could tell him,, it was too late. It was too late three days before.

"Tell him that I am very busy right now. Perhaps another time." He nodded and disappeared down the hall. She watched him go, and as he went, so did her strength. She crumpled to the floor, not even finding enough stamina to drag herself inside and close the door. Why had life chosen her? Everything had just gone so wrong, so quickly. Only a week ago she had been happy! But now...

"All I ever wanted was you, Heero..." She whispered, tears falling again. "All I ever wanted was you."