Without Light. A rewrite.
Challenge: complete the first 4 chapters in under 10 pages each.
Prologue: 1 page
Ch. 1: 4 pages
Combined prologue and intro. 5 pages.
"I'm sorry, Hikaru. I love you. I truly do…"
Her father's trembling voice whispered to her, somehow, dancing on the night's winds. She didn't recall the words in the morning or even see the man who'd spoken them. In fact, Heather Hikaru noticed only two things that night: the dark, empty halls of her suburban home, more lonesome than she'd ever known them, and mother's tears: that steady, unending flow of pure, refined misery.
One clear drop fell for every crimson one he had shed: life drained away, along with her joy, and left only one letter, crumpled and wet in her pale, shaking hands.
And Heather didn't understand it then, but there was something to be said of two lovers torn apart: souls that lost their mate. The barefoot eight-year-old could never hope to console her mother, nor grasp her father's reasons for leaving: destroying everything his family held dear, but she did realize just one thing.
I don't ever wanna fall in love.
This childish wish lasted a decade: a stubborn refusal of all that was true and ordained, until the day fate decided it was time to wake up.
Cold water closed in all around her, until she could feel nothing but her breath stolen away and the pressure of darkness. Through her sight flitted slick black tentacles and glowing red eyes.
Murky green depths robbed all thought and all light.
Author notes: this is a rewrite, hidden where none of the original readers will ever find it. If you've found it I am quite amazed. Please do not tell anyone. You are welcome to leave comments, however.